It was strange to "shake hands" with something that had no form.
As Nova mimed the action of shaking hands in the air he realized something he hadn't noticed before.
He had a body.
Not a soul in the shape of his image. A real physical body!
For the first time since entering this void, Nova stood up. He had real legs!
... Unfortunately those very real legs and his very real head were both very weak at the current moment. The rapid movements he made only served to exhaust his body further as he felt himself stumble backwards dizzily. If it wasn't for this place being absent of light he was certain that he would've had to watch as his vision went blurry as well. Nova quickly realized that he was falling to the ground but his body couldn't react in time. He braced himself for whatever a fall into the void would feel like... and nothing happened.
Instead he felt like an invisible wall had moved behind him, supporting his back and keeping him upright.
"...Thank you." He said into the abyss again for what felt like the millionth time since he woke up.
In his embarrassment he comforted himself with the thought that this proved his idea that the thing could see him. It wasn't that he nearly fell down after getting too excited. That was just an experiment! A test to see if the thing would be able to catch him! It was planned and not embarrassing at all....
This convoluted way of thinking did nothing but make him more embarrassed.
Nova tried to stop thinking so much and started to wonder if everything that had happened had made him stupid....Forget it. What was the point of having pride and shame in front of this abnormal entity?
He sat on the floor again and couldn't help playing with his fingers and touching his face and relishing the feeling of skin instead of soul energy.
You weren't allowed the luxury of a body in the System World.
Instead your soul sort of condenses into a solid mass of energy. To the average mortal this might seem like a great benefit. Isn't your body just a burden? Old age... disabilities that affect your movement... wouldn't it be better without those things holding you back?
On Earth maybe the answer would be yes. However in this realm all it does is make you vulnerable. Pain wouldn't be felt superficially through your skin and nerves. It would be a violation of mind and spirit. Honestly, it was traumatic. Feeling the pain of the soul rather than the physical body- even if it was a minor injury- would make you fearful of existence itself.
Maybe if Nova wasn't a system he wouldn't be so obsessed with the idea of having his body back. Since he was not only a system, but a rebellious system who constantly had to face punishment he'd felt that pain more than anyone else ever had. It was quite literally engraved into his soul. The cracks in it formed due to the constant damage and probably contributed to his instability.
Although he couldn't remember his life goals or loved ones from his previous life he could vividly recall what his body felt like.
The solid and grounding feel of a physical body. The weight of a cast on his arm. The rhythmic and persistent little sensations like his leg falling asleep and going numb. The sound of a heartbeat.
Nova knows what being alive is.
It was not the endless wandering of an "immortal" soul. For him it's hearing his heart racing in his ears. It's the smallest, most inconsequential pain of a paper cut. It was the weight of a body that made him feel real again.
He cried. Nova pressed a hand to his chest and his body, curled up on the ground, shook with silent sobs as he felt the movement of his ribcage and the beat of his racing heart with every breath. It was so loud.
The adrenaline of directly going against the Law of the World and almost having his soul destroyed must finally be wearing off because now that he was in a somewhat safe environment heavy heavy emotions washed over him.
Fear and relief. Satisfaction and disappointment. Violent and intense, contradictory feelings for reasons he couldn't even begin to explain.
He genuinely had thought that he would die trying to absorb all the spiritual energy of that small world. For less than a second, he was regretful. He would rather live than die. Just like any living being, he was scared of dying.
....But almost immediately that feeling was replaced by a thought that he'd had very often ever since becoming a system.
"I don't want to live if this is all that life is"
....He would accept death with a smile as long as it would free him from this hell.
What fear? His only fear was that nothing would change. Nothing would change and he would continue to suffer forever, passively accepting the zombie-like existence as a tool and a slave.
Nova didn't die. He was alive. He had his body. He had more power than he's ever had. He even had an ally now.
He had hope.