I knew I lacked the courage to stand up for myself then the whole women community is far off from my agenda, I knew no matter how hard I think, criticize the rules and curse the society, in the end I will never be able take the step I should so it doesn't change anything for me yet it got even worse for the only one to come to realize the hollowness of women's life.
Oh, how desperately I want to be one of those oblivious women who are happy and content with their life unaware of the actuality of their situation ..no.. they are happy and content because they have no knowledge the delicacy of the matter.
I think I wouldn't have mind to be kill as an embryo or infant then at least I wouldn't have to bear the situation where at my parents I build colourful dreams for my future and without even taking one step at it I was thrown in marriage at a age when I was barely possessing common sense and after that, had to my watch my dreams burn in fire of gas stove and dying every second of life, I think I would prefer once and for all death rather the tortured one from living.
I think I am going to embrace this pain as my real soul mate cause I had lost all my hope in human community..... This is fate ..... and me... its victim.
THE END