Chereads / My Lost Beloved Corpse ( BL ) / Chapter 42 - 39. The meaning of a smile

Chapter 42 - 39. The meaning of a smile

Bee

I loved him , i really did .

I hadn't known until I saw him sleeping after I placed him in bed .

He had had a small smile that made me feel a soft warmth inside and all I had wanted then was to make him smile , to make him happy .

I had reached up and stroked his hair , the warm feeling rose higher and ... I finally realised I loved him .

It was strange because I had never thought about it . All I had wanted was just to not be alone and Nymph had been that someone to keep me company . When had my feelings changed ? Had they always been this way ? Had I been looking for love or companionship ?

It did not matter now though . Nymph had forgiven me and he hadn't rejected me with hate or disgust . I had been afraid that he would loathe me , despise the creature I was , but he hadn't .

I remembered when I had lifted him back into the bathroom to finish cleaning him . He had gotten very pink again and I asked him what the matter was .

He had shaken his head and asked me to put on a shirt .

That had been confusing because I hadn't been cold But I would do as he asked .

I had told him to wait while I took a shower and then I could go change my clothing . He had quickly said he would wait outside whilst I showered . I had said okay but I didn't know he had wanted to shower with me .

He had turned deeper pink and left the bathroom . So confusing , I had thought , but I still loved him despite his complexity .

" Bee , are you awake ? "

I opened my eyes and looked at the door .

I was laid flat on my back , on the floor of the room Mrs Rosi got for me . I liked laying still on the floor , it made me feel slightly more comfortable .

" Bee ? " it was Nymph .

I smiled and got up , slowly opening the door for him .

Yuree stood on the other side , he was wearing a bright orange t-shirt and green shorts . His hair was disheveled and it looked like he was still sleepy . But he was smiling so brightly and warmly , I felt the warm feeling return again or maybe it had never left .

" Nymph , are you okay ? " I asked and he laughed .

" Do I have to be feeling bad to see you ? " he asked and I shook my head .

" You can come and I will be there for you everytime ." I said solemnly and he smiled .

" You are ... a romantic . I can't believe I'm only noticing that now . " he said smiling , " Anyway , I wanted to know if you were ready to go to breakfast ? "

" Yes , I am ready . "

" Okay then let's go . Mom is already getting ready to go grocery shopping before she goes to work . " he said and turned around , he started walking using his crutch but he seemed to be leaning less into it .

Was he getting better ? I wondered , then remembered Zascare's words , " His vitality and healing prowess will be greatly improved . "

" Bee , are you coming ? " Nymph called to me as he reached the stairs .

I quickly put Zascare out of my thoughts and followed Nymph downstairs .

...

So many different types of milk , but for what purpose ? I wondered .

I was standing infront of a long white box with cartons of milk inside . There was a row of lights above the box and the cartons were all different from each other .

But why ? Wasn't milk just milk ? i thought .

" Bee , what are you doing ? "

I looked at Nymph , he was holding a plastic bag with small brown pieces of meat in it .

We were in the shopping market . It was a huge building filled with multiple aisles that had food and other things . There were many humans too . Women , men and children , all of them grabbing things from the aisles . They made noise as they talked and it sounded like everyone in the building was talking . Above this noise , I could here some music that sounded calm and domestic .

The floor was grey and the walls were a range of colours ; red , blue , green and purple .

There were light bulbs hanging from the ceilings , each in a line . They were all on and shined a really bright white .

Nymph walked up to me and I lifted my hand , I was carrying a red basket and Nymph had been putting things inside . I had asked him to let me pick the things he wanted but he had refused .

" I want to use my arm and I don't want to use you , at least not completely ." he had said chuckling .

That had been confusing but I had agreed to carry the basket . I wanted to assist Nymph .

" Well , what are you doing ? " he asked putting the bag in the basket .

" I am ... confused ." I said looking at the milk cartons again .

" About what ? " he said looking at me , I pointed to the cartons of milk . Nymph frowned at them and then looked at me ," What's wrong with the milk ? "

" Why are there so many and each one is different ? Why not just one type for everyone ? " I asked him and he chuckled .

" Well , not everyone likes the same thing . " he said picking up one carton and then another , he made the cartons stand next to each other above the other milk cartons that were laid flat .

He looked at both of them and then back at me , " These two types of milk are different flavours and different brands . It's commercial and it's practical . If everyone just had one type of milk then that would mean there was no point in diversity . Everyone is different and everything around us is never the same . As an artist myself I like different things and things being different ."

" Nymph , you are an artist ? " I asked and he grinned but shook his head .

" I draw sometimes but I never show anyone anything . I'm mostly into drawing anime . " he said then he turned to where Mrs Rosi was .

She was looking at metal cans that had pictures of beans and corn . The metal cans looked different but they all had corn and beans .

Mmm , this was an odd thing , I thought , had it been the same when I had been alive ? I wish I knew , I wish remembered things .

But I did remember something ... the memory . The one I had seen yesterday when I had drank Nymph's blood .

It was very vague and had an unclear quality to it . Even though I could remember it , it still showed me nothing . I had wondered what it meant , if I knew those people in the building or the building itself .

Who were those people ? Where had we been ? What I had I been doing there ?

It had been my birthday , I believed . But I didn't know the date , or when my birthday was .

So the memory had shown me nothing , and I had dismissed it . It hurt to try and remember more , i would just have to wait for Olibia to come back . Maybe she could explain it , I thought wearily .

" Bee , let's go get some more sweetmeat or maybe ... raw meat . For you ." Nymph said and I snapped out of my thoughts , I nodded quickly .

" Yes , Nymph ." I said and he turned around and starting walking up the aisle .

He was walking better , and barely limping with his left foot and didn't use the crutch much . He had also started using his left arm more but not too much . I hoped soon he would be all better .

I followed Nymph until we reached a stand where a man was sitting . There was a glass box between him and us and inside the box was different types of meat . I saw animal heads and sliced animal body parts .

How very odd that humans put this on display , I thought confused .

" Excuse me , it's me again . I bought some sweetmeats here and I wanted to know if you still had more and also some fish ? " Nymph asked smiling at the man behind the box .

The man smiled back and I frowned . Why was he smiling like that ? Was he fond of Nymph in the same way I was ? The thought made me feel angry and sad. I didn't want to share my warm emotion for Nymph , not with anyone .

" Why are you smiling like that ? " I asked the man and both of them looked at me .

" Bee , what do you mean ? " Nymph asked me and i pointed at the man behind the box .

" He is smiling at you and I find it aggravating ." I narrowed my eyes ," Is he fond of you or does he love you like I do ? "

" Oh , my gosh ... umm Bee , he is just smiling because I'm a customer." Nymph said quickly and I looked back at the man . He had a strange expression on his face ... but he was no longer smiling.

" Okay , I just ... find it aggravating . " I said looking down , this feeling was strange . It made me seek to be the only one to smile at Nymph and not let others smile at him .

I didn't want to see him smile too fondly at other humans aswell .

No one should be too fond of Nymph , what if he started loving them and chose to not want me ?

Would he leave me ? Would he tell me to go and I would have to be alone ... again .

" Bee , look at me ." Nymph said and I looked at him . He was smiling . I liked his smile .

" I know what you're thinking or I can guess , and I'm good at guessing . So let me tell you , you really don't need to be worried about me liking someone more than you . Especially if it's a butcher . " he looked at the man behind the box , the butcher , " Sorry sir . He is a bit self-conscious and umm I guess insecure about somethings ."

" You mean you , right ? " the butcher asked looking at Nymph and me , and Nymph sighed .

" Can we have the sweet meats now ? And maybe some sardines ." Nymph said softly

" Sure thing. " the man said and started to pack some small pieces of meat into a plastic bag .

" Bee ," Nymph said , I turned back to him ," Remember what I said about the different cartons of milk ? "

" Yes , I do . People like different things and want different things . " I replied and he nodded his head

" Exactly , and in that note , there is something else . People ... like people in different ways . " Nymph said and I tilted my head confused .

" Look , You said you loved me right ? " Nymph said and I nodded my head , I did love him , " Well , my mom said she loved me , does that 'aggravate' you ? "

" No , it does not . " I answered

" Why ? " he asked

" Because your mother loves you in a different way than me . It is motherly . "

" Exactly," he pointed at me , " if my mom can love me in a different way from you then can't my uncle Gus ? or how about just liking someone ? I like you but I don't like you the same way I like my friends . It's different for different people , you get it ? Which is why me smiling at someone , doesn't mean I like them the same way I like you . "

I pondered on this , if different people liked each other in different ways then different people could like Nymph in different ways . My love for Nymph was different from everyone else's , so was Nymph's for everyone else . So ... the butcher didn't love Nymph , I concluded .

" I understand , " I said and turned to the butcher , " I apologize for offending you . I only thought you would take Nymph's love and I would be unwanted ."

" Kid , you have got nothing to worry about . I'm married and happy ." the butcher said smiling at me , he put the sweetmeat on top of the glass box and in another bag was small fishes " And if you're so scared of losing your little lover ... well why not just pop the question ? "

I tilted my head confused again , pop the question ? Which question ? But before I could ask Nymph grabbed my shoulder and pulled me aside .

" Umm , Let's go check on mom ? " he said quickly and I felt confused .

" But which question is he speaking of ? " I asked but Nymph shook his head .

" It doesn't matter , let's just go " he said and I nodded my head . Still I wondered , which question could make me not fear losing Nymph .

" Not even going to give the boy a chance are you ? " the butcher said as we walked away and Nymph turned around and shook his head . This made the butcher laugh and I became even more confused .

A chance at what ? I wondered .

Mrs Rosi was now looking at bags of rice . Nymph touched his mother's arm to get her attention .

" Did you buy the sweetmeats ? " she asked looking at us and we both nodded our heads . She smiled softly , " Good , then let's go home . I already got the rest and put it in the trolley . "

She pointed to a trolley that had two baskets like mine but they were filled with more things .

" Why did we not get a trolley . " I asked Nymph and he smiled .

" Because I wanted you carry the basket . " he said and I frowned confused but nodded my head . I was fine doing what Nymph wanted .

" Well come on , let's go pay for the stuff and be on our merry way . I still got to work today ." Mrs Rosi said and then she pushed the trolley away .

We went to a place with men and women standing in lines . They were paying other men and women who were dressed in red shirts and black trousers . Mrs Rosi also payed one man in the same outfit as the others .

He smiled at us and I smiled back even though he could not see behind my mask . It was fine to smile at people , it was just a smile . That's what Nymph had meant .

We finally made it outside and Mrs Rosi said she was going to get the car and that we should wait by the entrance for her to come .

" Nymph do you want to sit down ? " I asked him and he shook his head .

" No , I'm fine . My leg doesn't hurt much , it actually feels pretty fine . And also there is nowhere ' to sit ' . This is just - oh my gosh ." Nymph said and he moved behind me .

I tried to turn around but he held my shoulder and kept turning and staying behind me .

" Nymph , what are you - "

" Did he see me ? Please tell me he didn't see me ." Nymph said and I became confused .

" Who ? " I asked but before Nymph could answer a voice called out .

" Yuree ! Is that you ! "

Nymph groaned behind my back and I looked up at the owner of the voice .

It was a boy wearing a red shirt and brown shorts . He had long dark blonde hair and I remembered him .

He was the one who had been with Nymph at the park .