They all silently listened as she tore them apart layer by layer. Her words were like a katana slicing through them meticulously and with such efficiency. From the firm sound of her voice to the purposeful projection and the tone, all of it was masterfully crafted. When she was done, the only thing left was a distinguished silence. Then she fell.
* * *
He sniffed the white powder crushed on the table with a straw and sat back snorting his nose and facing up. He paid no attention to the two beautiful women beside him, the loud music in the background, the flashing lights, and the many dancing half-naked girls around him.
His friends laughed and they ordered another round of shots. The best drink to get you out of a bad mood was a nice Russian vodka, and that was his fifth shot. Between the drugs and the alcohol, all he saw were the flickering lights, but his mind still could not forget, he could not let go, a certain rage enveloped him as he recalled how she hid behind that foreign boy.
No matter. He had already taken steps, and by the end of the night, the boy would not be around his sister anymore. It was still 6.00 pm, the night was young, he might as well enjoy it. He took the two ladies and bid his friend farewell.
"Shinsuke you bad boy," said one of the ladies, "what intentions have you with us?"
"The good kind," he said.
After he said it, he wondered why he'd said it. He chucked as he recalled what his father once told him. Alcohol was a funny drink, it somehow slowed down the mind to the point where the body reacted before the mind could think. You say something then realize it's dumb but too late to take it back.
He often hated the taste. Sometimes it made him nauseous to even drink, it was like torture. In the end, however, he loved the feeling it gave, it was true, in that state of drunkenness where the instinctual drive was active when he was most free.
The three were loud. Attracted a bit of attention. They said whatever came to their minds and walked, with Shinsuke in the middle, in a slightly staggering manner. Luckily, the club was in the same building as his hotel room.
He pushed open the door, threw aside his blazer, tore open his shirt, and unbuckled his belt. The two women had already made their way onto the king-sized bed and waited for him in alluring poses. He dropped his pants unable to control his animalistic side and joined the two, his hand sliding in one's skirt as he kissed the other.
His body reacted to the touch and the moans of the two girls, but his mind wanted something else. He craved something else. He loved alcohol for one last thing, it heightened his imagination until all he saw was one girl.
"Kitsune," these words would find his lips every once in a while, as he rammed into the two. He didn't know when it happened, but he somehow fell asleep.
* * *
"You all disgust me, you are all sick," these words left the lips of a girl and Shinsuke woke up with a startle.
His head pounded and it felt like he had slept for ages. He rose slowly not wanting to wake the girls beside him and reached for his phone. He looked at the time and frowned.
"It's one of those days huh?"
The time was 9.30 pm. It seemed like even sleep was conspiring against him. He planted his feet on the ground, pulled up his pants, and went to the bathroom. After washing his face he looked into the mirror silently.
His eyes were as red as ripe tomatoes. A bit swollen and pupils slightly sunken. He was also convinced his skin was pale and at that particular moment, he felt a sick feeling in his stomach. He reeled down and vomited in the toilet. After he did, he now felt even more light-headed.
Unable to take the pounding anymore, he decided to take a walk probably get some drugs for his headache. Maybe the cold frosty night would sobber him up or better yet tire him out to a point where he could sleep.
A hoodie, a jacket, a scarf, gloves, and boots. He did not want to freeze to death. He then pulled out a drawer and fished out a pistol sandwiched between his clothes. He slid it on his waist and walked out of the room.
There were very few in the streets. A few shops are open, mostly coffee houses or ramen shops and others closing or closed. The snow fell landing softly on his jacket. The sound of his footsteps seemed to echo as he walked and this particular series of events gave him a nostalgic feeling.
His mind wandered, remembering how they played in the snow in winter. Seven or so years ago, still children, but the smile on her face was still crystal clear. It was bright and cheerful and, she only ever smiled like that when she was with him.
As his mind came back to reality, he realized he had been standing. He had been looking at the ground at nothing in particular, people passing past him must have thought he had perhaps lost his mind. He walked on.
Now, there was fear in his heart. Probably no one would understand the choking fear he was constantly experiencing, the reluctance to do something about it, and the feeling that something was wrong. In the pool of confusion, there was a certain anger that seemed to surface once in a while. A rush went over him, he wanted to shout but restrained himself.
"Why are girls like this?" he asked out loud.
He recalled a talk he had with one girl back on campus. The talk was about girls, she explained that girls can laugh at jokes, give you their number, and give you attention, but at the end of the day, they don't like you. You are just one of their conquests, a reason to feel good for their efforts in their makeup and dressing.
"That sounds cold," he said.
"Yeah," she replied, "naturally born beautiful, they are unafraid to use it to their advantage. That's why, a lion is the king of the jungle, but a lioness is the only true natural predator."
Shinsuke laughed brushing it off as a joke. In all honesty, he was horrified by the girl's words. Why do this to me? Why laugh when you know you don't mean it? Why smile at them when you don't love them? Why are you like this Kitsune?
When his heart had settled, and his eyes open, he looked up and widened his eyes. Somehow, he had made his way there. His heart skipped a beat as he walked through the gate. Before long he was outside her door, at first reluctant and afraid, but he mustered up the courage and knocked at the door.
* * *
There was a reluctant knock at her door. Kitsune stared blankly at it before she lazily walked over to it. It was rare for anyone to knock at that time of the night, perhaps it was her neighbor Mrs. Misu who had forgotten her keys and needed the spare, or perhaps it was Adam who had changed his mind about the jacket. These thoughts brushed her mind as she mindlessly opened the door.
The moment she did her heart skipped a beat and eyes widened. The feeling was momentary which was immediately replaced with a cold expression.
"Kitsune, I know it's late, but we need to talk," Shinsuke hastily said.
In a flicker of mixed emotions, Kitsune tried to shut the door. To her dismay, Shinsuke's foot was already at the door.
"Kitsune, please," he said.
She sighed and opened the door. Without another word, she walked back to the living room. Shinsuke took off his shoes, hung his coat and scarf on a coat rack, and followed her.
His eyes looked around. His head kept turning, he took in the scent, a nice girly scent. He could not understand why but being in that space excited him. Finally, he looked at Kitsune. She was still in her uniform, black skirt, and white shirt. His eyes however could not help but hover around her thighs and then her breasts.
A passing thought was all he got. How would it feel to hold them in her hands, to kiss her soft lips, to press his body against hers? Surely it would not be like other girls, it would be the pleasure of a whole other universe.
"You have five minutes," she said curtly.
He looked at her eyes and smiled slightly trying to break the tension. Her expression was as cold as ever.
"A nice place you have here," he said, "with little and yet such an amazing taste. You always were a minimalist."
"Surely you didn't come here in the middle of the night to talk about my tastes?"
He gasped slightly then took a breath. After that night at the party, she had always been like that, stern, cold, and distant.
"Why don't you come home for once?" he asked.
"Are you seriously asking me that? After how we ended things?"
Shinsuke exhaled tiredly. His eyes looked past her, there were two cups on the kitchen table. He sighed and rubbed his hazy eyes.
"Father has been quiet these last few years. He's grown frail,"
He expected a reply. He waited but got none. She had sunk her back into the chair and hugged a pillow in her hands.
"Kistune I missed you," he said at last.
"Shin," she called softly.
It had been a while since anyone called him that. He wondered how long it had been since that name had escaped her lips, he could hear his heart race as he waited for the next words.
"Please stop," she said at last, "I am your sister."
Was that it? Was that all she had to say? No, I missed you too or how have you been big brother? Why that much hate? Why?
There had been a pent-up anger in him. He had been struggling to keep it in, to compose himself. But now . . .
"So? " he asked glancing to the side.
There was a tremor in his voice that prompted Kitsune to hold her pillow tighter.
"So we can't have that kind of relationship."
"And who decided that? Is it wrong that I love you?"
"What do you expect Shin?"
"A chance, that's all asking,"
"I can't. Shin . . . Get over it, I will never even dream of having such feelings in me,"
"Then why?" he raised his voice scaring her, "why did you always smile at me like that? Why did you make that vow with me? Why did you keep showing me these signs that I had a chance? And why did you let me in tonight?"
"Shin please go, you are drunk, and you are scaring me right now."
She looked at him and noted the expression on her face. It had a certain fear and innocence about them. He rose and tried to stretch his hand to touch her as he did, she quickly rose moving away for him. He chuckled.
"Kitsune, I love you," he said.
"Shinsuke, please go,"
Am not going anywhere,"
He then rose slightly drugging the chair back. Sensing the incoming danger, Kitsune took a few steps back from him, and the pillow in her hands dropped.
"Stop running . . ."
"Shinsuke leave now, or I call the police . . ."
"I said stop running from me,"
He then pulled out his gun and pointed it at her. Kitsune froze in her tracks as she stared at the barrel and then at his shacky hand.
"Shin . . . Put the gun down and leave now,"
"Why are you like this? Why are you pretending like you don't love me? All my life, I've only loved you, why won't you love me back?"
Then came several knocks and bangs on the door. Then knocks were followed by random swings of the doorknob.
"Kitsune, Kitsune. . . It's Akira, open the door please,"
Kitsune was slightly relieved.
"Shin my friends are here, just put the gun down and I can explain to them that you weren't going to hurt me."
"Allow me," then came Adam's voice.
The sound of the door being torn off its hinges threw the two into a panic. Kitsune tried to step back but . . . bang! Came a sound. It pushed her back staggering as well as taking her breath away. Before she could react, bang!
A loud ringing filled her ears, and the lights were fading fast. Still, she wasn't scared, just confused. . .Then there was darkness.
* * *
"After she fell, there was a distinguished silence, before everyone was thrown into a frenzy," said Jey.
Like a hawk, he looked down across the streets hundreds of thousands of meters away. He then rose. A pair of dark wings with white tips emerged from his back with feathers being shuffled in the air. A happy smile flashed across his face.
"Now let's see if the experiment if the experiment worked."