My eyes followed him everywhere now and I know he noticed and it irritated him but oddly enough, I loved that he was irritated with me. As weird and stupid as it sounds, I was desperate for any form of attention at all from that man so I grasped whatever he gave me.
I wonder if its because of things like this boys avoided fucking virgins. It probably wasn’t the same with all the girls. I even thought I would not cling to my first but here I was clinging to every little thing he does.
I haven’t been able to do anything at all because my mind has been clouded with thoughts of him. When I open my eyes, I see him in places he isn’t and he is always waiting for me whenever I try to close my eyes and I am not complaining.
My heart has been breaking as much as my heart has been racing. The girls he brings home these days have increased in number as it has started ever since that night. It was as if he was trying to wipe the existence of that night.
