Sakura stood there, stunned, as the tears started to flow down her cheeks. How had things gone so badly? I knew it would be tense and awkward, but I didn't expect this. Dad didn't even try, and Sasuke… I need to go find him.
Rounding on her father, she glared daggers at him. "How could you do that?? You know how important he is to me. You know how much I care for him! How much I LOVE him!"
"He hurt you. As a father, I can't just welcome him into my home, especially without so much as an apology."
"That's what he was trying to do! He isn't good at things like that, but he came here tonight because I begged him to come so that you and mom could get to know him as he is, not the rumors you've heard or the speculations you've made, but him. The real Sasuke. Without him, all of us would be dead by now in that stupid tree. Or do you only remember the bad things about him?"
"Enough! He has never been any good for you, and you need to realize that! I am only trying to protect you from more pain and heartbreak."
"Well right now, you're the one hurting me and breaking my heart in a way he never could or would."
With that, she turned and hurried out of the house to find Sasuke, ignoring her parents' calls to come back. She went to her apartment first, but of course, it wasn't that easy. She knew he would go somewhere private, where he could keep away from prying eyes, so she headed to the training grounds. Unfortunately, those were pretty big, and without a way to sense chakra, she could do little more than search the old-fashioned way. After about an hour, she finally saw him sitting against the base of a tree. It was the only tree still standing within around a mile. The rest were charred and broken, likely as a result of being on the receiving end of a chidori.
Walking up to him, she didn't know what she should say or do exactly. His eyes were trained on the sky, and he made no effort to acknowledge her presence. Sighing, she leaned against the tree next to him, careful not to invade his space too much. After a few minutes of just being there, she decided it was time to break the silence.
"I'm sorry. I knew it wouldn't be exactly easy, but I didn't think my dad would react that badly. I thought he would be cold but at least be willing to listen to things. What happened when I was gone?"
Sasuke said nothing, continuing to stare at the sky, so she tried again, "Sasuke… please talk to me?"
Again, she was met with silence, but she didn't want to leave him here to brood and make himself feel worse. He had made a lot of progress on moving past his actions, and that would set him back quite a bit.
"Don't do this, please. Don't block me out. I want to help you! Don't close yourself up and leave us both alone in this."
To her dismay, he still didn't react to her, and just as she was about to force him to at least look at her, he spoke quietly.
"I told you it was a bad idea."
"You did, and I'm sorry to say you were right. What did my dad say to you while I was gone?"
"Nothing that wasn't true."
"That's hardly an answer. I have my suspicions about what he could've said, but you have to know that all that's in the past now."
"Is it?"
"What? Of course, it is. You've changed; you're different now. You've always had good in you, and you're acting on that."
"That doesn't change the past."
"No, it doesn't, but it can change the future."
"You don't know that."
"Maybe not exactly how, but I know people will start to realize what an amazing person you are."
Sasuke finally moved from his seated position and turned to face her, but Sakura was surprised to see his face void of any emotion except his eyes. They showed nothing but anger.
"And what if that never happens?"
"It will. It'll just…"
"You don't know that! You're always going on about how good things will be, how good I am, how everyone will just move on. What, you think any of them want me around? They'd just as soon kill me if they could."
"Not everyone is like that. People take time to process things. You have to allow them to…"
"I have to give them time? When was that courtesy ever extended to me? When did anyone care what I thought or felt?"
"I always have. You aren't alone."
"Wrong. I am alone, and I've been alone since that night. I never should have entertained the idea that I wasn't, and I never should have come back to the village."
"What are you saying? You are NOT alone. I'm standing right here! If you never came back, we'd never have been able to reconnect."
"That would've been better."
Sakura hugged herself and felt her eyes start to water. He couldn't mean that. He was just lashing out at her. But when her eyes met his again, she couldn't find any kindness or gentleness in his gaze. It was just full of anger.
"So, you regret everything we've done? Everything we've shared since then?"
A flicker of emotion crossed Sasuke's face before he could control it, but he still said in low voice, "Yes. I do."
She couldn't stop the tears any longer. She knew he didn't mean that, but hearing it was too painful. Besides, she couldn't help but think maybe he meant it a little bit. He could have continued being a rogue ninja, even after the war, and maybe he missed that. She hugged herself tighter and looked at the grass in front of her.
"Fine. Go brood by yourself and leave me alone too. You obviously don't care about my feelings."
Sakura didn't give him a chance to respond before darting back into the village and towards her home. She was still crying and needed to curl up in bed for a long while.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Hours later found Sasuke sitting high in a tree, looking at the starry sky. He had gone through a lot of emotions this evening, and none of them were good. Now he sat wondering what to do. He'd broken under the pressure of it all. How much was one person supposed to take without being able to defend themselves? Everywhere he went in the village, people either whispered about him (half of which he heard anyway), glared at him, ran away from him, or openly dismissed him altogether. They would say things about his family too, but he had always kept himself in check.
A part of him had accepted Sakura's words that tonight would be fine, so he hadn't had his guard up quite so much. He intended to hear their distaste for him and be allowed to respond in turn. What was the point though? Tonight, he'd finally been pushed too far, and he acted on it. Of course, that only added to his crimes and people's hatred of him.
What he never thought he would do though is take it out on Sakura. She was nothing but kind and supportive of him, and he had hurt her. Again. And he hated himself for it.
Sasuke was pulled out of his thoughts when his blond friend jumped up and sat next to him.
"I saw Sakura on her way home when I was going for dinner."
He didn't want to hear about what state she was in, but he knew it wouldn't be good. Hoping Naruto would let him be, he just returned his eyes to the night sky.
"What the hell happened? I'm giving you a chance here to explain before I assume you did something to hurt her, and I punch you."
Taking a deep breath, Sasuke decided he wouldn't get away with not answering his best friend's questions, so he started, "I finally snapped from all the rumors, and I took it out on her."
"What made you do that? You've always let things roll off you."
"Idiot. Even I can't control my emotions that well. It does get to me, and tonight I had enough."
"So, what happened?"
"Sakura made me go to dinner at her parent's house."
"...Um, well, was that… a good idea? I mean, I know you, but that's kinda a big step for them."
"That's what I said."
"So, they gave you a hard time?"
"Her father did, mostly. He waited for Sakura and her mother to be in the kitchen before he started yelling at me. He wouldn't let me talk at all. Then he mentioned my clan and Itachi, and I yelled back before leaving."
Naruto grew quiet for a while, thinking about it all. Sasuke wouldn't admit it out loud, but he was glad his friend was here for him. He'd always bottled up his emotions or used them as fuel in his revenge, so having people around who would talk to him was a nice feeling.
"Especially with the anniversary coming up in a few days, that probably hit hard."
Sasuke whipped his head to look at his friend, but Naruto stared forward. I didn't think anyone remembered that day but me. The village never did anything on that day, so why would he have the date memorized? Everyone just carried on like the Uchiha clan never existed.
Naruto didn't offer any explanation, but continued, "Still, blowing up at one of the most important people in your life was a jerk move. Plus, she probably feels awful that she had you go with her, so I bet she's blaming herself a lot."
"I…. didn't think of that."
"Heh, you aren't the only one who can read Sakura."
They sat together in the tree for a long time after that. Sasuke was letting his mind wander over everything that had happened since the war. In truth, things had gone quite well for him. He expected he would go to prison, and he really hadn't known how his trial would go. He had his old teammates, but aside from them, he had burned a lot of the connections he had to others. Most of all though, he had gained Sakura. He'd always cared for her as more than just a teammate or friend, if he was honest with himself. He'd squashed that thought away in favor of finding his brother, but he couldn't ever fully extinguish it. Now that he allowed that feeling to grow, he'd opened up to her on some things. Maybe it was time to open up more.
It wasn't until he heard a snore beside him that he realized Naruto was asleep. How he didn't fall out of the tree was a mystery, but Sasuke just smirked at him.
Reaching over, he grabbed his shoulder and said, "Hey, wake up, idiot. Go home."
Naruto almost did fall out of the tree when came to, but he latched onto the branch with his chakra. Looking around, he found Sasuke and asked, "Huh? Why are we here? What time is it?"
"It's late. Go home."
"What about you?"
"Don't worry. I'm going back to Sakura."
Smiling, Naruto stood and stretched before jumping out of the tree and calling a quick, "Night!" before running off. Sasuke stood and made his way back to the one person he needed to see right now.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________
After getting home, Sakura took a quick shower before putting on her comfiest pj's and snuggling up in her bed. She had cried and thought about things for a long time until she went into a fitful sleep. She had a nightmare she hadn't had in a while. It was the night Sasuke first left the village, but her mind made it so much worse. He said cruel things to her and confirmed he not only didn't love her, but he hated her with all his being. No matter what she did to try to right the situation, he always had a nasty retort back.
When she woke with a start, she nearly screamed at seeing someone in her room, but her eyes adjusted to allow her to recognize the young man looking at her with sadness. She spoke quietly into the dark room, "What are you doing here?"
"Sorry, I can go if…"
"No, that's not what I meant. Stay, please." Sakura reached out her hand, and he took it, sitting down beside her on the bed. She took a deep breath before managing to match his gaze. He looked so different than he had hours before. His face showed sadness and regret, and she saw no signs of animosity in his eyes anymore.
Her feelings of regret started to rise to the surface, so she broke the silence, "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have made you…"
"Stop. You have nothing to apologize for."
"I rushed things. I was getting too far ahead of myself."
"I said stop. You didn't make me go. I could've said no."
"But still…"
"I'm the one who should be sorry. I didn't mean… I just…"
Sasuke trailed off and looked at the wall, and Sakura couldn't remember the last time he had been so lost for words. He didn't speak much, but he was always able to explain himself. She squeezed his hand, making him look down at it before continuing.
"I'm sorry. It all got to me, and I couldn't just sit still anymore, especially knowing that he's your father."
"So, the fact that he's my dad made a difference?"
"Of course, it did. If they hate me, how could we ever be together?"
Smiling slightly, Sakura squeezed his hand again, and this time he looked up at her. She could tell he was feeling deeply remorseful, and she raised her other hand to cup his cheek. To her surprise, she thought she felt him lean into her touch just a bit.
"This is why you should've just talked to me in the first place. I knew letting stew by yourself was a bad idea."
His face softened a little, but he was still feeling guilty, so she added, "You're human. Obviously, all the rumors and little whispers would get to you. I'm sorry I didn't notice how bad it was getting."
Looking away again as she let go of his face, Sasuke was quiet for a minute. He didn't look at her as he answered, "It's not your job to keep tabs on what people are saying. Most of the time, I let it roll off me. It's not a big deal. But… the real reason I snapped was because in a few days, it's… the anniversary… of my clan's death. I don't like that people still see Itachi as the villain, even if that's what he wanted."
Sakura stared at him with wide eyes. Why have I never remembered the day that happened? As a kid, I guess it didn't occur to me. Then Sasuke was gone, and my only goal was to get him back. No one acknowledges it in the village. There's no vigil or service, nothing. Wait, he said Itachi wasn't a villain? He's never spoken about what happened between them. Deciding now was not the time to bring it up, she squeezed his hand again.
"I… I'm so sorry, I didn't know. I should have. I didn't…"
"I didn't expect you to know."
"But…" was all Sakura could manage. She didn't know what words to say to help, so instead she pulled him into a tight hug. He seemed surprised at first, but gradually wrapped his arm around her. She couldn't stop herself from starting to cry at the thought even though she cried so much before also. What she didn't expect was for her own shoulder to start to dampen. Her cries that were wracking through her body slowed slightly in surprise, and she was able to notice how tense Sasuke was and how every so often his body would tremble as a sob would escape him. Her heart broke again at seeing him so fragile. Sasuke had never cried in front of her, and she didn't think he did alone either. It was silly to assume that though. He experienced something most people wouldn't think of in their worst nightmares.
He had held her numerous times while she cried and felt every emotion go through her. Now it was her turn. One of her hands went to the back of his head, where she ran her fingers through his hair in what she hoped was a soothing gesture, while the other stayed firmly around his back. She didn't say anything, afraid she would do something wrong or push him away again.
Finally, his body seemed to calm down as the sobs stopped, but she didn't let go. She'd let him dictate how long he needed to stay there. His body had slumped over the course of their embrace into a defeated, almost lifeless position, and she held him close to her with his head on her shoulder under her chin.
Placing a kiss on the top of his head, she said, "I won't pretend to know what you went through or the feelings that come with that, but it is ok to feel those things. After that night, you were left alone to deal with everything, so I guess you were half right earlier. You WERE alone. You aren't now, so don't forget that. I'm so sorry. I don't want to push you, and I'm not saying you need to now, but have you ever told anyone about what happened? Or about what happened afterwards with your brother?"
After a minute, Sasuke slowly shook his head. That's what she had thought. He'd been holding everything inside himself with no one to help him.
"Well, if you ever want to, I'd be willing to listen."
Sasuke slowly rose from his position and broke the hug to look at her face. She'd never seen him looking so disheveled. His eyes were red and a little puffy, and his face showed a mixture of confusion and awe.
"Why?"
Smiling a little, she reached over and brushed the remaining wetness from his face, saying, "I love you, dummy. I would do anything if it would help you."
A myriad of emotions washed over his eyes for a minute. Sasuke looked away before turning to sit on the edge of the bed as he said, "I'm going to go take a shower now. You should go back to bed before it's too late."
Standing, he walked quickly out of the room. Sakura couldn't say she was surprised. She was actually more surprised he let her in that much rather than leaving when he started to cry. He must have been embarrassed, but she was happy to know that he trusted her that much. She was a bit upset that he just left like that when she'd confessed her love to him again, but she could wait. She curled up on her side of the bed and tried to go back to sleep.
After a short while, Sasuke reentered the room and got fully into the bed with her. He'd still been staying out on top of the covers due to his upbringing, so she was a little surprised to find him solidly against her back as he pulled gently to him, spooning her from behind. She pretended to be asleep, and while he may know she was awake, he didn't say anything for a long time. As she was starting to drift off, she felt his arm tighten just a little around her and heard him speak softly into the darkness.
"I love you, Sakura. Thank you."