After a long night of barely sleeping, I sit up in bed with sunlight streaming through the curtains. I wish it was all a dream. I really do, and for a few brief moments I convince myself that it was just a bad dream, but it wasn't. I just hope that it's going to all be over and I will find mother and father downstairs in the kitchen just as I always do.
I quietly get dressed just like any other morning, and make sure to close the door softly behind me, because Ruby is still asleep. I go downstairs, with anxious anticipation. It almost feels as if I were going downstairs on Christmas morning, after a sleepless night of wondering what surprises lie in store downstairs. This has the same feeling, but the opposite; it's dreadful.
"Please be here," I pray. I continue the few steps left down the stairs, and down the narrow hallway to see Dinah asleep in the parlour. I try my best not to lose hope at the sight of her still there. I continue through the dining room, and through the doorway into the kitchen to see that mother and father are nowhere to be found.
I could feel my desperation growing, and my heart is pounding. I go back through the parlour, intending to go back upstairs to see if mother and father are in their bedroom. I stop as I see Dinah wearily sit up. I see the saddened look on her face, and the small shake of her head and I see that there is no need for words.
I solemnly sit on the sofa next to her and say, "We have to find them. We can't just sit around and wait for them to walk through the door."
"I know," Dinah answers, rubbing her eyes, "that is why I won't be going to school today. I am going to go to the dance hall to see if mother and father are there. If not, I will go to the police."
"I'm going too," I say, quietly. Before I can finish, Dinah cuts me off, "no, you have to go to school."
"To do what?" I snap, "I can't focus on school at a time like this! I have to help find them. I need answers!"
"We all do, Jane," Dinah retorts, "that is why I am going as soon as possible, I barely slept all night"
"And that is why I'm going too," I explain as gently as I can, "you can't do this alone."
"Jane, I'm tired. I need to get this done, and you simply can't miss school," Dinah sighs, "I really don't feel like arguing about this."
"Good," I say standing up from the sofa, "I'm going with you and that's final."
I head back to the small kitchen, and get ready to make breakfast. Honestly, I cannot believe Dinah could even think about sending me to school at such a time. Even though I know that I want to try to convince Ruby to still go to school, because if Dinah and I find something disturbing, I would not want to put Ruby through that. Perhaps that is what Dinah had in mind with me.
I cook some eggs, and find some sausage to add to it. I make toast, and I even end up finding some bacon in a wooden barrel that we use to preserve meat to cook. I decide that I might as well make a nice breakfast, to take our minds off of the whole situation. Meanwhile, Dinah was upstairs bathing.
Ruby comes downstairs in her nightgown, with a confused expression.
I set the numerous plates of eggs and bacon on the table, and beckon Ruby to sit down.
"Are Mama and Papa still not here?" Ruby asked.
Hearing Ruby say this makes me stop in my tracks. She always calls mother and father 'mama and papa,' but hearing it this time hits differently. We don't know where our parents are, they could be hurt, sufferingin pain for all we know. We don't know if we're ever going to see them again. Hearing Ruby call mother and father that reminds me that she is too young to go through this, too innocent to see such cruelty in the world. I have to protect her from it.
I sit down at the table, and look Ruby in the eye, "They're not home, yet. Dinah and I are going to go out today to find them."
Ruby's face fell, and started picking through her eggs and sausage with her fork. "When?" She asks.
"Dinah and I aren't going to school today, so Dinah can rest and we can look for them," I reply, "I would like for you to go to school, and maybe when you come home, mother and father will be here waiting."
"But I really want to help," Ruby sighs, looking down.
"I know," I say, "but you can help by going to school, and taking care of yourself, but you mustn't tell anyone about what is going on. I need you to be strong for me, okay?"
I put my hand over Ruby's to comfort her, and I see her look back up and say, "Alright… I can try."
"Thank you," I answer, "now make sure to get ready so I can walk you to school in a bit."
I feel like such a hypocrite. I hardly care, though. We have no clue of what we are in for with this search, and what lies ahead of us. If we run into something horrible today, I couldn't bear putting Ruby through such trauma.
Dinah comes downstairs to eat breakfast, while Ruby is upstairs getting ready for school. I clean the kitchen, Dinah goes back upstairs to rest for a couple of hours, and Ruby comes downstairs with her school dress and pinafore, while holding her books.
I could tell that Ruby took heed to my request that she takes care of herself, as she looks more put-together than usual. I must say that I feel proud of her already, since she's trying her hardest to keep herself together.
After I tell Dinah that I'm taking Ruby to school, I get on my hat and my wool shawl, seeing that it is a cold morning. I walk Ruby to school in Adamsdown, just as usual, only this time we walk in an awkward silence.
As we get to the schoolyard, where cheerful children run and play, the older ones calmly talking, I turn and look down to Ruby.
"Everything is going to be fine," I try to say as optimistically as I can, "I'm sure it's all a misunderstanding, this will pass soon enough."
"I know," Ruby agrees, "I won't say anything about it."
"Thank you," I smile, "have a good day, I'll be here when school is over."
I wave to Ruby as she runs over to her friends on the schoolground, and I turn around to go home.
***
I sit on the couch, with a book, after a long morning of cleaning the kitchen and trying to stay busy. Dinah comes downstairs, looking fatigued but better than she was before.
"Are you ready to go?" She asked, "We'll go start at the dance hall and work our way from there."
"Alright," I agree. I put down my book, and get up from the couch toward the front door. Dinah and I get on our hats and shawls, and head out the door to the sidewalk. We walk down to mainstreet, where we are able to hail a carriage.
***
A few minutes later, we thanked the driver and got off the carriage to see a large building, with a big sign that read Grace of the Swan Ballroom. We approach the large red doors with brass trim, and take a deep breath as we open the door.
"You know, it's good that we came in the morning," Dinah whispered, "otherwise I'm not sure you would be allowed inside."
I nod my head in silent agreement, as we enter a large and open room with cheerful but calm music playing. Being only morning, the place is nearly deserted. There are a few couples on the wooden dance floor, and one or two customers sitting at a bar. The band plays up on a stage in front of the dance floor. The rest were all just empty tables, with mother and father not in sight.
"The only employee I see is the bartender," I mutter to Dinah, "perhaps we should start there."
We approach the bartender, who is smoking a cigar that is somehow getting ash on his moustache. His balding head gleams in the dim light, and he looks rather grouchy, as if serving beverages is too much work for him.
"Excuse me sir," Dinah says, "I was wondering if you could be so kind to assist us."
The guy looks up from cleaning a glass, looking bewildered. "Can I get you a drink?" He gruffed, "I'm sure that you are well aware that your daughter is not allowed to sit at the bar."
"Oh, pardon me," she exclaimed, turning pink, "this is my sister, Jane. I am Dinah Evans and I need assistance looking for Ann and John Evans. I understand that they were here last night."
"Listen, lady," he said impatiently, "I am no detective, and I can bet money that you aren't either. Buy something, and maybe I can tell you what I know."
Dinah stands tall, determined, yet poised at the same time. I could tell that this guy is testing her patience.
"Oh, so this is how we're going to act, huh?" Dinah said sternly, as she began leaning on the bar, narrowing her eyes at the man, "tell us what you know. We haven't seen them since they left to come here last night."
The bartender looks surprised at Dinah's sudden retort, as am I. She almost never talks in such a manner. The bartender stays silent, as if he's waiting to see if Dinah will go even further.
Finally, he speaks up, "The Evans?" he scoffs, "I can't believe you want to find those Irish drunkards."
"Would you like to tell me more?" Dinah asks impatiently.
As I watch this conversation go on, the less I like the bartender, and I never even liked him to begin with. He holds out his hand, expecting payment. Dinah rolls her eyes, knowing that we won't change his mind.
"One shot of fire whiskey," Dinah slams a coin on the counter, "Now tell me."
The bartender laughs, clearly happy to see Dinah so upset. He begins pouring alcohol, "Oh yes, they were here last night. Drunk and wasted as hell, I tell ya'."
"Our parents are no drunks," I pipe up, "they hardly ever drink."
"Well they were last night," he continued, "the bloke was drunk sitting here the whole time, while the lady was reasonably sober. They left at about eight o'clock after they got into a bit of a brawl."
"And how do you know all this?" I ask.
"I work double shifts at this joint," the man answers, "I was bored all night, so I spent the evening laughing at the drunk Irishman. It's that bad Irish blood I tell ya'."
Dinah and I ignore the insult, as hard as it was, we give our thanks, and walk away from the bar, with the whiskey Dinah ordered completely untouched.
We head out of the dance hall, and onto the busy street in silence. We get to a park about a block away and find a bench to sort out our thoughts about the whole mess.
"There has got to be something that has been going on," I say, "mother and father never come home drunk. "
"That is not all that bothers me though," Dinah replies, "that obnoxious bartender told us that they got into a 'bit of a brawl.'"
"And they left early," I finish.
There is silence again, and I can tell that we are both thinking the same thing.
I feel that the odds of seeing my parents again are rapidly decreasing.