"Your majesty," I stated upon arriving near the King. I assumed he wanted to leave. He just called out to me and made his way outside, as if wanting to continue the conversation there.
"Willock, I believe you will be a great leader in Wales. However, a lot awaits you, so you should start focusing on improving your life there starting today. Make sure you know all regions and areas; the barons surely do not like the idea, but make sure you can at least win over almost three quarters of them. It will help you with the people. I wish you good luck in your endeavors, and I believe when I ask how things are going in Wales, I shall be given one of the greatest positive outcomes. Have a good night," he stated and left without saying another word.
Of course, I knew what awaited me. I knew this was to be the hardest task I have ever done. But is it really as hard as being born knowing you do not belong anywhere in this society? Even when the King spoke to me, he never gave me the little concern that he gave his sons. I am pretty sure he gave me the land of Wales just because I had somehow stolen the precious heart of one of his daughters. Thank God they were never related; otherwise, I would be sprawling in another heartbreak.
After contemplating all that, I found my way into the party. The King's and Queen's carriages had already left, leaving only his children's. This meant Princess Diana had not yet left. I remembered the little peck I gave her, and somehow I felt, through her reactions, she enjoyed it. She really liked it. That was something our girls never knew and experienced from many men. All they were taught is how to be loyal, classy, and above all, innocent - the perfect lady of every man's dreams. Mother sure was unlucky. I wish... But maybe if all this hadn't happened, I would never be in this picture. Maybe I would be somewhere in another man's body, or I would still be waiting for the day the Viscount's lineage finds its entanglement with the King's.
However, I was never, not once in my life, okay. I ever once really thought about the reason I was born. I found myself complaining inwardly and wondering why it was me who had to pass through all that and not my brother Charles, who had formulated a habit of just sleeping with random women at every party as if they were some means of exchange. But of course, he had his father's money, and in addition, the society was never against him. If I were the same as him, and it happened one of those maidens and ladies ended up having an illegitimate child, it would sure cause chaos. That... I knew. Dear reader, it would cause chaos, as this means, since I am the firstborn of the King, and I bore him a son, it means that the whole Kingdom is shaken, meaning that the King is neglecting the rightful direct entity. The third child of the King's lineage is always important. If I am to get a child before that prince, my child will take the throne instead of that Prince's child. These were the rules of this land that somehow favored the King's bastards. However, the King had other bastards, those which nobody knows about except his obnoxious and heartless queen, who puts on a face of innocence when you first meet her. When in realization, maybe after a week of having her around, you realize that she ought to be the biggest pretender in man's history. That woman sure pretends.
I have never really been in a position to ask the princess about her. As you all realize, the princess and I find time to talk in ballroom dances. Maybe I should be much more romantic than that; I blame myself, though. I never had the chance to send her flowers or letters. I am sure many men had given her all that, but all I gave her was one simple art of herself, the way my soul saw her. I remember myself drawing her; I was wasted drunk and feeling like an emotionless piece of gutter. My mind just pictured her; it just could not focus on anything else, and the brushes became my friend at that moment. In a week's time after the painting was done, I found myself wondering why I had painted her. It felt creepy and weird, but sometimes I liked it as that.
"Deep in thought?" The princess startled me from behind. I was outside, watching the stars. I don't know how long I had been there, but on seeing her, I suddenly felt the cold chills.
"Sometimes, I think. I think the stars are the lucky creatures in this world," I stated, not even knowing where that statement came from. But if you come to think of it, these heavenly bodies were really lucky. ".. I am to marry you in a few," I added, which made her cut me off, "you feel unlucky because of that?" Hell, why did I say that? "No,.. I just had conversations with your father. He gave us Wales lands, however, a lot awaits me there," I stated, not wanting to burden her with the whole problem. I would never love to trouble her with my problems, but I knew stating that had already started troubling her. And she was in love; love can do anything.
"But that is no matter. I called out to the stars, as I have been contemplating my previous life. It has never been a good journey. At times I hated it when you tormented me in my dreams. I hated it at times because I just could not believe that you shall marry another and leave me in my dump of being a King's bastard," I added, looking at her as I raised her chin up. She was always beautiful, and I sometimes saw her like a really small being that needed my protection.
"I just... you are beautiful. Seeing your beautiful face every day will somehow make me forget most of my worries. However, tomorrow I will leave for Wales. I need to look for two men and an aging woman. I need to check some maps, and I need to know what happens in that land. I do not wish to starve my family," I stated smiling, which made her smile back. I am sure she was glad she would have a hardworking husband, and hell, I will work my days up. I shall, like the King stated, I shall even forget the last days I ever really rested and found my piece of mind, but I shall make sure I enjoy every process as it is because that is all that matters in this world: enjoying the process.
"Tell me about your mother," she stated abruptly. I was surprised by that. I am sure she realized it due to my change of composure and facial expression. But with her yet to be my wife, I sure would never not give her the information I know about her. So, I just took her hand and led her to one of our outside benches. Once one was engaged, they could take a woman anywhere, except bed her. The bed was meant for marriages only. After making sure she was comfortable and checking the shining almost full moon, for some seconds, I started, "Which mother exactly?" I wanted to know who she yearned to be knowledgeable about, and I saw the squinting of her face, and I knew she was in no want to talk about the Duchess. It was the woman, Lady Isla... the woman... that sounds disrespectful. "Okay, all I hear is that the King courted her. As we are here, I bed you today, and in realization that you are to bear me a child, I decide to leave you be and end up looking for a woman somewhere else. She died during my birth. I hear she was caring and cunning, loving and beautiful. I hear she had a beautiful smile. I shall take you to her when we are married. I will introduce you. When I was mad and when I am mad of the world, I just visit there."
"Doesn't she embrace your dreams?"
"She used to, when I was a little boy. She just told me, 'you are a king, you are a king.' I was young, but after I met you, she does not hang around anymore. Maybe my time with her was already up." And after saying that, I realized that the dreams truly were gone, and the princess clearly took her place. Princess Diana was most times in my dreams, but I guess it was my obsession with her that made me really have her. I wanted to see her, really.
"Anyway, I… I have been thinking," I continued, facing the princess as I really wanted to know her reaction one on one. "I feel I have never been the best of boys when it comes to being romantic. I am sure the Viscount's son has sent you as many flowers and letters seeking your hand, not to forget the Baron's son. I sure see the way he looks at you as if in envy of me for snatching you from his sight. I am sure I stand last in the lines of being romantic, but angel, I…" I laughed after realizing that I called her angel, and maybe she did not realize. "I mean princess, I… I, I wanted to do all that. I wanted to wake you up in the morning with the scent of beautiful roses sent right from the Lake of Tigris. I wanted to send you letters to profess my utmost love and feelings and to make sure you see me in the view of some romantics and like a boy wanting nothing but to please you. I want to please you, is what I am trying to say. By pleasing, I mean I want to really show you the true man I am. On my adventure to Iraq, I realized some moments, when not well cherished, might become nothing but moments and memories without the other person to drink and cheer up with. So in these seven days, as we get married, can I please you?" I stated, looking at her. It was the first time I found the courage to look at her. I knew my schedule was tight, and I needed to figure Wales out before taking the princess to that place. But if it is giving her seven months of heaven, who am I not to comprehend? It is she who is deserving of the utmost pleasing, and I care less if it is too late, or maybe some men would state that I shall please her after marriage. But now I want to make up for my missing days. I want to make up to her. I want her to boast to her sisters of the letters and flowers. I want her to boast when I call her dearest, for no one would ever find a place in my heart as she does. It sure would be the biggest hole, one which takes forever to fill.
"I would love that, Willock, but the truth is, I loved you for who you are. The pleasers mostly really faked it, and I felt you always made the best of every chance we met. You made sure I was in comfort and happy, and made sure we danced. Those dances still remain memorable to me."
"Would you like a dance now?" I asked suddenly. We danced, yes, but if dances were memorable, why don't we have another.
"I have a question though. If it were between me and that princess you were to marry, who would it be?" I laughed after she asked that. "Of course, you," I stated, shaking my head hearing that from her.
"My utterance really means, if I was already engaged or married off, what is it, who would be up next.., who would you marry?" And I knew, I knew what she was trying to say, whether she was trapping me or anything, I was not sure. But it was something that I was always taught, some questions from a lady who loves you really mean a lot and carry a lot of weight.
"The princess was charming and beautiful. I would say, if you were to be engaged, I sure would be heartbroken, honestly. But I was already hurt when I left here. I was almost sure that my chances with you were minimal, not just minimal but really least, and I felt I had the least of cares from you, in comparison to other men who were in line seeking your hand. So, the princess had a liking for me, she enjoyed listening to my pieces... I am not sure who would be on my left hand walking down the aisle, but surely, I knew if it never would be you, I would love the other with the minimalist part of my heart. I would marry her just to have a friend to help me conquer my loneliness and maybe provide some heirs, as I surpass and fight against fellow men who look down on people with labels like I. Anyway, I really mean it when I say I shall, and I want to please you. I hope you shall be pleased, and when you walk down that aisle, I shall be the happiest man in the building. You shall make my dreams come true. I hope the Times Tower really finally will write something good about us, something like 'Profound Bond'. You are my found bond. I shall miss you when you leave my embrace, as I always have." I finished and took the princess's hand as I walked her to their carriage, smiled as they left, and headed to the house. To search for the Wales map, long nights, sleepless, and in work await me. I sure shall embrace them…, those nights.