Is there a world lacking questions? My life is a paradox—quite a great one, indeed.
The king of Iraq was told about my desire to leave, or rather, to be helped find my purpose. I wanted to have a say in my community; I wanted to be given a chance; to be given a chance to prove that I am a person and I care about everything; I wanted to just be given rights as any other individual and not be treated as the solemn bastard they stated me to be.
"You knew." I stated that, range fully integrated into me. I was telling Amir, and I knew he knew that I was in no proportion, nor was I in no acceptance of what he and his surprising family were plotting.
"You need someone, brother." Amir stated. We were currently in the room with which we both shared.
"Was it the reason for all this? The nice treatment—was it all a plan for your own pleasures and interests?" I asked again, and I knew that if I did not control my anger, I might find myself punching the beautiful face of this friend of mine. Was he really a friend? I was not quite sure.
"No, understand," Amir tried to explain, but I felt it wasn't right. My reflexes took over, and I found myself throwing a punch directed at the center of Amir's nose. It would likely break it, I thought. I didn't know how I suddenly turned into a fighter, but it happened. After that, I regretted the fact that I had thrown a punch at Amir because he didn't just let it slide.
I felt my head burning, my sides hurting, and I'm not quite sure how long I lay there. When I woke up, I found the maidens tending to some injury on my head, and Amir stood there with his legs apart and a bandaged hand, his expression consumed by obsession. I wish I had punched his face even harder. I knew all this anger was bottled up inside me, stemming from the frustration about my family, the disappointment of not winning the princess, and her placing me in the position I was supposed to be in all along. Was this what they really wanted me to get involved in, some complicated entanglement? Weren't they serious?
"You should have some rest." Amir stated this right after the nursing maids left the room.
"I should have punched your face." I said it again. I just never knew to kill my anger when mad; I just never backed out, didn't I? It was something I suddenly found myself embracing. Wanting some pain, even if it means that I will be the man being beaten all along, I will just punch the hell out of them.
"You have changed, brother. You hated fights." Amir stated, and that made me again feel contempt towards him—was he calling me weak?
"Are you calling me weak?" I asked. I was in fight mode, and it just felt wrong at the moment to even fight. I tried rising from wherever I was when Amir just came and caught me hard and laid my head on the pillow. I sometimes forgot that he was a trained armed force; it was always something princes were given. A certain training in case one becomes king and has to command the armed force. With that, he just left, and I was left alone in this comforting bed. As I lay down, I remembered the words of the king:
'I believe Amir told you our yearns to have you here.'
'No' As of course I would answer such a question, all I was told was about being a good pianist and helping out in playing classical music for the parties that white men or other English men were inside.
'You were to seduce my daughter.' I had never heard of those words in any case, but I heard them. I was to seduce Princess Hasmine, or was it Princess Shahid?
'Which daughter?' I asked as if I was in knowledge of the same, or as if I were radiating myself, or rather, as if I were already in business in the schemes and plots of the king. Of course, I would not act out of anger in front of the king. For the first time, he had welcomed me in the best of ways.
'My younger daughter,' and I remember Amir interjected and stated Shahid, and I knew hell was to break out in all accustoms of this palace, in addition to the hell that was already in my heart. My heart was already a forest, thick and bushy; I was not sure if it would crave another heart, or rather a delicate human inside of it. Princess Shahid? Was the word that ran through my mind; it was like a loop; it was just weird to state it. If it were Princess Hasmin, then yeah, I would throw dice on that. I felt she had a liking for me; maybe I would try all it out; maybe I would really try things out with her, but this girl, I barely even knew much about her; I barely ever interacted with her; I barely ever knew her favorite color; how would I suddenly be forced into this? And with that, he just left; he did not even tell me about what I wanted; he wanted me to fulfill this obligation. Maybe you now understand why I was mad and why I was furious with Amir. He made me a fool in front of the king; he made me a completely lost individual, and now I am yet to be another lost person who is not even sure what happens tomorrow or what is ought or begotten for me the next day. Sometimes, I wish death would embrace me and take this cup of suffering away from me. How would I live with that girl? Where would I even start seducing her? She is like sixteen; age is not an even tone right here, but my heart is so far away from this girl that I might be a person who shows her the thorns of love other than the flowers of it. I am out of the pianist job in the hotel, and rightfully, I enter into the circle of marriages and customs of a family. What is there for me if I am to marry this girl? The fact that it is seductive means that, by all means, I am supposed to make sure this girl falls head over heels for me, and knowing that her sister had already fallen, I just felt much worse than the pain in my face felt like, and with that, I just drifted to some sleep.
"He fell." I heard Amir state this on my awakening, so I opened my eyes and saw the queen checking me. The queen never really entered Amir's room; it was quite weird even seeing her here. Was Amir really stating that I fell? And as per the statement, the queen left the room, and Amir was left.
"You lie quite." I stated.
"Brother, about earlier, father meant sister, Hasmine." He stated, "He quite does not differentiate the two." Amir stated, As I tried so hard to sit down, he really beat the hell out of me.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Okay,,… eeh,.. I came up with the plan. Sister needs a man as fast as she's old enough to get married. I thought of you, and you quite make a good couple." Amir stated this with his overly serious English and stare.
"Why would you think I am accepting of marrying your sister? What am I to offer her?" I told him something I also wanted him to understand, or somehow place himself in my quite troublesome life.
"Now that's where you chime in. You shall be marrying the princess, and the British government has a liking for our oils and an attachment to them, so you shall go back and make demands to the king about the same. Tell him that you have quite a good agenda at hand, that you have won the heart of the princess of Iraq, and that would be the best alliance for your nation and ours," Amir stated. He was always politically astute; he just knew how political relations worked. That was the agenda of every betrothal in England: to bring people and families together and to form alliances that could not be broken by mere wars. "And then you shall have an heir, with whom you will be the prince of England," Amir added. He was still embracing the idea of somehow becoming a king.
"And what if I am to be killed?"
"The King has a liking and soft spot for you; he feels he never did you enough as a father."
"Lies," I stated as I tried shifting my leg position. I could even hardly tell if the sun had risen, but maybe it was some night or almost morning. I wasn't quite sure, but Amir had not laid down as the neatness in his bed could be observed.
"If it is to be lies, then why is it that the queen keeps writing warning signs?" Amir asked, and I just shook my head. If the King was remorseful, then he should have searched for me all over the nations. Maybe he just really wanted nothing to do with me. I just sometimes wondered what it would be like to live in such a castle. I did wonder sometimes, but I would erase the wonder right when the thought came into my head. I guess some thoughts you can't escape thinking, right?