Upon our arrival at the lake, neither of us had uttered a word. The silence that hung between us, honestly, unsettled me momentarily. However, after a brief period of introspection and a therapeutic mental exercise, I chose to accept the quietude and immerse myself in the present moment. My thoughts shifted from the scandal to the princess. Undeniably, I held an affection for her; genuine and deep. If the power lay within my grasp, I would court her without hesitation, showering her with the most opulent gifts, dancing with her in the ballrooms, and ultimately one day, approaching the king for nothing but a quest, seeking her hand in marriage. Such were my desires, my intentions pure and earnest, perhaps the most noble a man could entertain for a woman.
And yet, there was the scandal -an impediment, an unspoken obstacle. She had confided in me that she was bound to wed the prince of Russia, an advantageous match by all accounts. She would lead a life adorned with regal desires, eventually ascending to the status of the Russian queen, or some similar exalted position. Perhaps, in that future day when she is to be crowned the princes, I shall avail myself and visit. Maybe, I would gaze upon her radiant skin, the flawless canvas of her unblemished face. Through her perfect smile, and notably, her unshakable self-assuredness, I would glimpse her once more. One day... one day... Oh dear lord!
"We've arrived, boy!" my father's voice boomed, an unusual severity accompanying it. A tone I had not experienced before in our interactions. Hunger, I assumed, must have gnawed at him. Stepping out of the carriage, I entered the grand structure that now housed both our family and the guests involved in as I had stated earlier, how they came to be of family into thuis large palace. Jaykim, without delay, approached us, his gesture, a respectful bow before he proceeded to provide an account: "The lands have been cultivated…, the oil refinery attended to…, payments made to the blacksmiths... the wrestling matches…., the restaurants running... and all that" His statements encapsulated the developments in the region right after my departure. He was a true right hand man of father indeed. My father acknowledged the presence of Derby and her kin, after being provided the knowledge of them by Jaykim and then as we were walking inside the house, I heard him clear his throat.
"You've let me down, Vikings. Tremendously... deeply disappointed in you…," Father sighed, his frustration intense. And rightfully so. His anger was entirely acceptable.
Confronting Princess Diana was beyond me, and finding the right words to extricate myself from the tangle of the situation, a web woven with seemingly flawless words, proved an elusive endeavor. I simply wished to dispel the misconceptions and doubts the princess harbored about me. A task that turned out to be far more challenging than I had anticipated. That was all my desires and need, how easy to say it in my thoughts I guess.
"What am I to do, Father?" I whispered, my voice pitched to be for his ears alone.
His gaze met mine, accompanied by a weary shake of his head. He spoke with a tone loaded with annoyance, "You've done enough, my son. Now, it falls upon me to rectify all this…, your mess. Your role however, is straightforward and I instruct you listen closely, obey my directives without questioning. Whether that entails your departure from town, London, or even the kingdom itself."
Wait, could Father truly be serious about this? Being cooped up within the confines of the house was one thing, but being coerced to depart for an unfamiliar country was a move far more significant and honestly entirely an harsh style. These were the thoughts racing through my mind. I could only hope he would not be too harsh in his judgment of me. I hoped. Yet, deep within, I recognized that I had indeed shattered, or rather tarnished, the Duke's reputation in every conceivable manner. Especially the words that he was raising the illegitimate offspring of a royal son, however, My future remained hidden, known only to the divine, while I, with a nod signifying understanding, simply yielded to his words, affirming, "I comprehend your wishes, Father. Act as you deem fitting for my life's course."
With that, I bowed slightly and departed for my upstairs room. Upon entering, I discovered Derby within, gazing out the medium-sized glass window. "Hey," was the only utterance that escaped my lips. Her demeanor however, seemed slightly startled by my presence. I so unnoticeably closed the door, and settled on my bed, waiting for her response. As waiting, I recognized the inappropriateness of the situation, it was inappropriate for a man and ladyship to stay in the same chamber together alone, without a sanctity of marital rights. "I don't understand. You shouldn't be here," I asserted, to which she promptly replied, "I shouldn't be here." With that I just nodded, acknowledging her sentiment, when I noticed a solitary tear teeming in her eyes. Compassion welled up within me, and I gently inquired, "Hey, are you okay? You seem to have been... tearing."
She appeared poised to leave after my statement, but I cautiously caught her arm, murmuring, "Hey." As I turned her to face me, a realization dawned that this was the closest I had ever been to a woman, apart from the brief dances in ballrooms. It was an intimacy previously unexplored, a closeness that felt uncomfortably real. Hastily, I cleared my throat and stepped back slightly, restoring a semblance of distance between us. "Apologies," I uttered, unsure of what exactly I was apologizing for. I nodded in her direction and added, "Are you okay?" She confirmed her well-being with a nod.
"I heard the news," she stated, prompting me to avert my gaze and move toward the window, near which she stood earlier. "Yeah, well, everyone has," I responded, feeling her footsteps draw closer. "Hey, it's okay," she offered in a tone that subjectively, felt it carried a tinge of sarcasm. I couldn't help but let out a cynical laugh at that. Was it really okay… oh c'mon.
"Of course, it's easy for you to say that. We... you and I, we're so different. You can't possibly understand the challenges I face," I expressed, my words laden with frustration and disbelief that she had stated that I was going to be okay or rather fine in other terms.
"And of course.., I can't understand. (scratching her right arm) You're of noble birth, and I... I belong to the peasants, the downtrodden well, aren't those the feelings we can't really fathom to?" she replied, a note of bitterness in her voice, and I knew, I solemnly needed to say something before this furnace of ladyship infront of me burst in unstoppable flame.
"No, that's not what I meant,, misunderstanding.. I mean you've misunderstood me. I wanted to convey that comprehending my struggles is difficult for you. Your upbringing isn't one where social status dictates every aspect of your life. I didn't intend to cast it in a negative light, however, my words were merely meant to highlight how fortunate you are to be here. You're free from the worries of your next step, of how your words might shape your family's future, or even the positioning of your kin today and in future," I clarified, striving to convey my thoughts accurately.
"Do you think our lives are easier?" she queried, her voice edged with frustration. "Well, aren't they?" I retorted, locking my gaze with hers.
"Do you think we want to fight in nightclubs for survival? Do you think it's easy? This is our only means of staying afloat. You should understand this better than anyone. You're a bastard—start living a life as you see fit for your label, or you'll end up a noble peasant like us. Stop yearning for the princess's hand, or cease showing the world who you are. Bastards are eliminated. What part of that don't you understand? It would be a waste for you to be massacred due to your reckless desires," she declared vehemently.
Her words rendered me momentarily speechless. I struggled to respond, though her perspective had unveiled a truth I'd never overlooked. Honestly, I had never embraced my true nature, never defended my own identity. Father shouldered all my troubles, shielding me from the inevitable crashes. Mother instilled patience in me, teaching me to navigate life's challenges. Within the room, as a quite air resonated, a soft knock reverberated. We knew it was time to depart. The question suddenly lingered; should she leave first, or should I? The implications of being seen together were significant; I couldn't allow Father to harbor further unfounded suspicions. He needed to comprehend my guilt. Perhaps dinner was served, and so I urged Derby to exit ahead of me, to act as if nothing transpired. Her response was a derisive snort that sounded almost pig-like.
Several minutes later, after her departure, I exited the room and joined everyone downstairs, where dinner was laid out. "Hello, everyone," I greeted as I took my place to partake in the meal.
Following dinner, my father requested a private conversation. This left everyone, including myself, curious about the topic he wished to discuss. I rose from my seat deliberately and headed to his familiar office. "Please, have a seat," he offered, and I complied by taking the indicated chair.
"Son, you've always been a guiding light in my life. From the moment you were placed in my care, I knew I would protect you with everything…everything, I mean everything I had, even if it means punching someone, I would," my father began, his voice measured and thoughtful. "So now, my dear Willock, it's time I shared a condensed version of your history. I believe you are mature enough to understand the complexities of your situation. Your biological mother, Lady Isla; may her soul rest in peace, was a vibrant, youthful, and stunning woman. Despite all that, she lacked an understanding of life's necessities, the societal demands, and the attributes needed for acceptance. She was entranced, no, not by darkness or malice, but by her infatuation with wealth and indulgences, I sure cannot state right here."
"As I mentioned, she was remarkable, but her pursuit of material desires led to an unfortunate or rather fortunate connection between her and the King. With his Majesty's penchant for gathering concubines, he indulged his desires without restraint to the young ladyship, without any compromise. And so, he did, he did actually, court her, and in retrospect, she actually enjoyed the liaison. However, as often what is to happen with such arrangements, without knowledge, and with the stupidest of reasons, consequences emerged: the gift of life, the gift that every noble, every duke, every king, every relationship yearns, but yearning is not for all, for society decides, the gift that stays in the society and that that is shoved or rather slayed off; it was a child. And the child was surely named Willock. I believe you understand the Willock am in conversation of. However, despite the yearns of the viscount to make the king stand up to the honors and grounds and accept responsibility, the King couldn't marry a woman whose innocence had already been compromised, even if it was by his own doing. Then however, he was not yet crowned king, he was still a young man, a prince."
"Thus, Lady Isla sought refuge here during the challenging nine-month journey of bearing and nurturing you, my boy. I witnessed her pains, struggles, and tears. But I couldn't bring myself to offer her assistance, for she had chosen her path and understood its consequences. We had hoped you would be a girl, as they're often more easily accepted by kings. However, a male heir was born, and news inevitably reached the King, a potential threat to the throne, and we knew soon, an established order would be set. We so had to conceal you, as your very existence posed a challenge. However, I do not want you to hold pains, and worries of your pasts, it was not your faults, son. I can't predict tomorrow's headlines, but I hope they won't be too distressing, although I suspect they will be. I'm exploring ways to help you out of this predicament. I should have shared this with you earlier."
"Goodnight, my son. Take care, and be cautious in your relationship with this Derby girl. I've had my share of headaches from your affairs." With that, I stood, offering a slight bow, my mind abuzz with unanswered questions.