Chapter 18 - Frozen Fate

He rubbed his eyelids, chasing away the sleepiness that was bubbling up. However, his sleepiness was accompanied with a slight chill, and he laughed at himself as it made him shiver.

He crossed his arms around his shoulders and tried to warm up his body. Yet, no matter how much he did that, the chills did not go away. Rather, there was no sign that they were going away.

—This is weird.

Subaru realized the change in his once optimistic situation.

—Cold is an understatement, it's more like pain.

When he looked under his sleeves, he saw goosebumps rising on his arms, and it was apparent to him that he was shivering internally.

This was abnormal. This other world had warm weather, and he could usually maintain the perfect temperature by rolling up his sleeves.

Then why is it so cold that my teeth are chattering now?

"This is bad, no way, could it be…!"

He began shaking, though from terror rather than the chills, and fell to the floor. He tried to brace himself with his arms, but the chills could already be felt throughout his whole body, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't find the strength in his arms to get up.

After trying for nearly 30 seconds, he somehow managed to finally stand up. But both his knees were shaking, and he felt that he could fall to the ground any time if his attention wavered.

He could feel himself growing weak. He felt a sense of fatigue in his hands and feet. His once-loud heartbeat weakened, and he slowly felt his thinking becoming dull.

He could find no strength left in his entire body, and he could even forget to breathe if he didn't focus on it.

Lips shaking as he tried to gasp, Subaru crawled out into the hallway to call for help—dragging his feet behind him.

"…S-Someone." He tried to shout for help, but his voice trembled, as if something was blocking his throat.

His throat dried out, only allowing air to pass through, and his breathing slowed, as if his lungs had been overcome with fatigue.

This is bad. That single thought overtook Subaru's mind.

He could not think of a single solution, and he could not understand what was being done to him.

The only thing he knew was the fact that the current situation was threatening his life.

Groaning, he aimed for the stairs with uncertainty. Even though it was a path he was used to walking and the distance wasn't very far, his destination seemed so distant.

His breathing became hoarse, and walking from there to the upper floor was mortifying as each step wore down his soul.

"Aaah… Aaah…"

Subaru finally made it up to the top floor crawling one step at a time using his arms and legs. He headed further back into the hallway—to where the person who he longed for was.

He felt like the inside of his body was melting, and there was a discomfort as though everything was being mixed together. He dragged his feet onward as he failed to contain the nausea and tears that swelled up.

'That guy... Tanaka must be still awake'

A sense of mission, of obligation, of an emotion he could not spell out was driving Subaru.

There was nothing like the desire to be saved, which would only reaffirm the misery that was his life, but while ungraceful, there was simply a pressing sense of absoluteness that he had to warn the others.

His whole body felt exhausted, and none of his muscles obeyed his commands. To Subaru, the place he was approaching seemed as far away as the clouds.

"───"

Amidst the chaos and uncertainty, Subaru's throat tightened, and he couldn't help but release a hoarse, guttural cough, as if the very air around him conspired against his every breath.

Boom!

The hallway seemed to reverberate with a jarring noise, like a heavy object slamming into the floor, followed by the unmistakable sound of a chain rattling against itself.

 that moment, his body leaning on the wall began to slide down. He stood firmly. Despite all exhaustion that was consuming him, he was able to identify that the voice was somewhere near.

He halted his steps and leaned against the wall. Then the next second, he heard the sound of a clinking chain again. Something launched at him. It didn't hit... It was something like a Medieval weapon, a morning star... But the weird thing is that it stopped. Stopped in the middle of the air, defying the laws of physics.

His entire body had become numb and unresponsive, or more like it didn't exist anymore. He couldn't confirm the presence of limbs with any of his senses.

And before he could notice, the pain that was circulating around his body was gone. No, to be precise, he could no longer feel anything. The space around him also wrapped. He couldn't breathe. Subaru's mind was plunged into an incomprehensible void.

In this incomprehensible space, Subaru's consciousness was adrift. There was no sense of time or place, only an overwhelming sensation of emptiness.

He couldn't see, hear, or feel anything. It was as if he had been cast into an abyss of sensory deprivation. His thoughts echoed in the vast emptiness, disconnected and fragmented.

"…!" He let out a soundless cry, but it was absorbed by the void, leaving no trace.

Then, abruptly, a sensation began to return. It started as a faint tingle, like the first hints of sensation returning to a numb limb. Slowly, Subaru's awareness began to reassemble, piece by piece.

He became aware of his own existence, like a solitary island emerging from the fog. Thoughts and memories resurfaced, forming a fragile thread of continuity.

Finally, he could feel his body again. It was a strange sensation, as if he had been separated from it for an eternity and was now reuniting with it.

Yet, the return of sensation was not without discomfort. It felt as though his body had been reset, every nerve ending tingling with unfamiliar sensations. It was an unsettling experience, akin to waking from a dream into a new and unfamiliar reality.

"…!" Waking to the sound of your own screaming is one of the worst things you can experience. Subaru sent the blanket flying as his hand immediately shot up. He gasped haggardly as he absorbed the shock.

"Hah.. Hah! What was that!" He gasped haggardly as he absorbed the shock of his abrupt awakening. His heart pounded in his chest, a reminder that he was still alive.

He raised himself up and rotated his left shoulder to make sure it still functioned as normal. 

"I came back… No, I made it back."

Touching his body, Subaru confirmed the absence of any injuries.

With all that squared away, Subaru realized he needed the day and time. According to his experience with Return by Death, he should have returned to his first day at Roswaal Manor. But it was possible he'd been sent back to a different point in time, so he first had to confirm this detail.

"Ah, sorry. Good morning."

It was at that moment he noticed the presence of the twins holding each other's hands off to the side of the room. An unconscious man had suddenly awoken screaming; of course they'd be scared. Even with his relaxed greeting, the twins didn't respond. They remained huddled together like small animals protecting each other.

Scratching his head, Subaru wondered what he should do. The twins probably forgot all about me, huh? The thought pierced his heart, but he suppressed the pain and formed a smile. He'd have to first show goodwill in order to get along with them. Even if they had forgotten him, he remembered them clearly.

"Sorry for the trouble I've caused. Natsuki Subaru, ready to go!"

Subaru leaped up from the bed and raised his arms and leg into a flying crane pose. It intimidated the twins, but he remained like that as he asked, "By the way, could ya tell me the day and time?"

And so began his first day at Roswaal Manor for the third time.

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The soft, warm embrace of sunlight filtered through the curtains, casting gentle rays across Tanaka's face. He lay still on his bed, his eyes fixed on the ceiling above. The room was tranquil, and the only sound was the faint rustling of the curtains in the breeze.

But this calm facade was soon shattered by the intrusion of Ram's voice, breaking the peace like a sudden storm.

"How did Tanuki end up falling asleep again after Ram took the effort to wake him up?"

"Huh?"

Her words held a mixture of frustration and genuine concern, delivered with her characteristic no-nonsense demeanor. Tanaka's head whipped around, drawn to the source of this unexpected interruption. There, standing beside his bed, was Ram, her piercing crimson eyes regarding him with a blend of irritation and perplexity.

Her tone softened, if only slightly, as she continued. "Don't give me that 'huh.' Tanuki was taking too long to get down, so I asked Rem to come check on you. And she found you sleeping again on the floor."

His gaze darted around the room, catching sight of the blue-haired twin sister, Rem, who stood nearby. Suddenly, his surroundings triggered a flood of memories. Fragments of a relentless loop he couldn't fully comprehend flashed before his eyes. Images of his recent death, Rem, the chain, and the inexplicable attack all played out in his mind. Yet, here he was, seemingly alive and well.

"Ram even took the trouble to wake you up this mornin.."

Ram's voice persisted, forming a relentless stream of questions and requests for an explanation. However, to Tanaka, they felt like distant echoes in a swirling tempest of thoughts, a cacophony that threatened to engulf his senses.

"Hah...Hah...Hah..."

His breathing grew heavy and erratic. Each inhale became a desperate gasp for air, and his exhalations came in short, trembling bursts. His chest rose and fell rapidly, beads of sweat forming on his forehead.

These people, who had treated him kindly, offering him a job and a place to stay, were the same people who had already killed him. The incongruity of it all was maddening, and his breaths grew deeper, ragged, and disorganized. Despite that, he felt suffocated, unable to resist the urge to reach out for his own neck.

The room seemed to close in around him as despair and anxiety gnawed at the edges of his consciousness.

"Agh... Hah... Hah... Hah..."

This was an unprecedented situation for him. He found himself in a foreign world, possessing little knowledge about its rules, trapped in a repetitive cycle of events without understanding their cause or purpose. To make matters worse, he was surrounded by people he could no longer trust.

"Hah...Hah...Hah..."

How could he? They were people that he felt comfortable around, which was a rare thing, only to end up brutally killed. The feeling of frustration and betrayal continued to pile up.

"Hah...Hah...Hah..."

What should he do? Run away? To where? When he doesn't know shit? And even if he does escape this place, wouldn't he just go back in time after the fifth day?

Desperation was a vice grip on his chest, and with each breath, he felt himself spiraling further into a dark abyss of hopelessness.

"Agh...Hah...Hah...Hah..." Tanaka's grip on his throat tightened, his struggle for breath growing more desperate by the second.

It was the first time in his life that he had felt such a sense of hopelessness, a crushing weight that left him with no apparent way out.

Ram's voice punctuated the moment, a brief moment of distraction in the midst of his turmoil.

"Sister, something is wrong."

Rem's presence joined the scene, sensing that something was amiss.

"Hm?"

"Hah...Hah...Hah..."

But Tanaka was beyond hearing their conversation. His world had narrowed to the frantic rhythm of his breaths, each one a desperate attempt to regain control. His heart thundered in his chest, a deafening drumbeat in his ears.

"Oy, Tanuki, What's wrong?" Ram's voice cut through the chaos, momentarily snapping him back to reality.

Desperation etched across her face, Ram cautiously approached him, her usually sharp and critical crimson eyes now filled with genuine worry. She extended her hand toward him, recognizing that he was in distress.

"Don't... touch me."

In a futile attempt to repel her, Tanaka tried to push her away, but his weakened state betrayed him, causing him to lose his balance and fall from the bed with a resounding thud. His breathing remained erratic, his hands now clutched tightly around his own neck.

"AGH...HAH...HAH...HAH..."

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Subaru's thoughts meandered back to that fateful night of the fourth day. It had been after his promise with Emilia, likely in the dead of night. An inexplicable chill had coursed through him, sapping his strength. The sensation was powerful enough to induce rapid-onset asthenia, even while he was awake.

"The first death was from asthenia while I was sleeping..."

However, his musings led him to another puzzle.

"The morning star..."

The possibility of asthenia is merely conjecture for now, but this new mystery is far more important. The peculiar sound of a long chain clanking about. He clearly remembered that dreadful sound reverberating in his ears. It was immediately after he heard this that he was attacked, but....

"It stopped mid-air just before I died. Was it like when time stops right before you die?"

Subaru reasoned that there was at least one person involved during an attack on the mansion on the fourth night, and he just happened to be another victim. There's no proof that the other inhabitants of the mansion were targets, but…

"If I was targeted, then everyone was probably a target. This is probably related to Emilia-tan's royal selection, like with the loot house."

'I don't know if the surrounding nobles have developed a grudge against Roswaal, so I should ignore that for now. If I'm going to get involved, I'd rather be involved in a cute girl's business.'

Subaru clutched his head as he gathered his thoughts.

'I've figured out there'll be an attack and that Emilia will be targeted. That should be a big step forward. But…'

"Even knowing that, I have no proof to explain it with and no real way to prevent it either."

"And I didn't even see their face. A completely meaningless death."

He found himself stuck in a helpless loop. If he had no knowledge of his attacker, how could he possibly formulate a counterplan?

He folded his arms, tilted his neck, rotated his hips, and began to moonwalk around in a circle.

Frustrated, he folded his arms, tilted his neck, and began an odd moonwalk in the room.

At the center of his improvised moonwalking circle, a displeased young girl's voice pierced through his thoughts.

"You're irritating Betty to death, so either leave, or Betty will kill you."

Subaru swiveled toward the irate girl. "Sorry, sorry. I've noticed I think better when I'm moving around, for some reason. Can you cut me some slack? After all, we're friends, right?"

"Betty doesn't recall creating that relationship with you, I suppose. This is only the second time we've met."

"Actions speak louder than words, and you did just let me in here."

"You just broke through the Door Crossing on your own. What's going on here, I suppose? Unbelievable."

Subaru explained, "Well, I'm not here to cause any trouble. Just serve some tea and let me chill here."

"Betty will do no such thing. You are truly irritating, in fact." Playing with one of the curls in her hair, Beatrice's lips curled up in annoyance.

A thought occurred to Subaru. "Come to think of it, you're a magic user, right? Even though you don't look it."

"What do you think magic users are? And being compared to those second-rate users is troubling, I suppose." Beatrice pouted with her nose pointed upwards.

She must have real confidence in herself. Based on that haughty attitude… "You don't have many friends, do you?"

"Where did that come from?!"

"Well, I don't have any friends either so I can tell, but that's not good for you. Being so high and mighty at that age is gonna cause all kinds of trouble going forward."

Beatrice just sighed at Subaru's constant teasing. Seeing that reaction out of her made him cut off that topic and switch to the main issue at hand. Right, what I wanted to ask a magic user to begin with…

"Is there magic that can weaken someone until they die?"

Subaru's sudden asthenia. He wanted to confirm whether it was by poison or disease, or perhaps by magic. His current theory is that the cause for his sudden chills and fatigue was magic. After all, there was no obvious source for a disease to spread that quickly, and the effects were too delayed for him to have ingested poison.

Beatrice frowned at Subaru's question. She most likely wondered about the reason behind such a question. But seeing the rare seriousness in his expression, she sighed slightly and replied, "If it was a question of whether it exists, then it does."

"So it does."

"It is closer to a curse than magic, I suppose. There are more shamans that are familiar with it than magic users. It is a more nefarious method, I suppose."

Subaru became confused by the appearance of this new job by the name of shaman. In response, Beatrice raised a finger as if presenting a lecture. "Curse-users, or shamans, come from the northern country of Gusteko. It is a subvariant of magic and spirit arts. However, it is full of defective techniques and not something to take seriously, I suppose."

"But they can still curse someone to death, right?"

"That's the defective part. There are many paths, but all they can do is cause harm to others. Out of all the mana users, they are the most irritating, I suppose."

The disgust Beatrice showed towards the curse arts was so deeply ingrained that she showed no signs of willingness to compromise her point. Subaru held no appreciation for curses either. Right now he just needed more information.

"Anyway, so with that curse art thing, you can do what I said before?"

"You can, I believe. But rather than learning a curse, there's a much simpler method, I suppose."

Subaru furrowed his brows, at which Beatrice smiled amusingly. She then opened up her small palm and covered Subaru's eyes. The next moment…

"…Gah!?"

Subaru's upper body quivered and collapsed at the sudden feeling of loss. He fell down to one knee, dangerously close to losing consciousness. His eyes fluttered as he felt the fatigue coursing through his body.

"How was it? Feeling it with your own body?"

Beatrice looked down at Subaru, giggling condescendingly. The back of her hand was elegantly placed at her lips, but Subaru couldn't laugh it off and call her pose adorable with her actions still fresh in his mind.

"Dammit, what did you…"

"Simply put, Betty just drained the mana from your body. Simply drain some more and you would reach the same condition, I suppose. Rather than relying on some curse, this way is much easier."

Subaru could do nothing more than look up maliciously at the triumphant Beatrice.

"Are you trying to kill me?!"

"Betty held back. If you were to turn into a husk here, then Betty would have to deal with your husk every time she wants a book."

"Husk? What am I, a bug?"

When seeing her expression that seemed to confirm this, Subaru began to question why he thought this was a safe place.

"Don't tell me that you're the one who killed me."

"If you died then we wouldn't be having this conversation, and it would be more peaceful. Unfortunately, Betty is busy and doesn't have time to kill you." She folded her arms behind her and moved away from Subaru to a bookshelf. Her dress fluttered as she struggled to grasp a book just barely out of reach.

"This one?"

He grabbed the surprisingly thick book off the shelf and passed it to the sulking girl.

"Hmph."

Remaining displeased as she took it from him, she again moved away from him and towards her chair.

"What book are you reading there?"

"A book that mentions how to get rid of bugs."

"You have bugs in the library? That's the worst. What kind?"

"It's big and black, with a foul expression and mouth. And it thinks highly of itself, I suppose."

"That's a very peculiar bug there."

Upon seeing that, Beatrice sighed lightly. "Do you have any other business, I suppose? If not then please leave."

"Ah, um…right. So that thing where you slurp out someone's mana, can anyone do that?"

"That term feels inappropriate, I suppose… In this mansion, only Betty and Bubby can use that. Roswaal doesn't have the talent for it, I suppose."

"Really? I heard he was all-powerful." Maybe he was just putting on a show? Subaru formed a rude thought about the manor's lord. He gave himself a pass, however, since he technically hadn't met him in this timeline, yet. "Anyway, about that. Could you not just take so much when you do that mana-drain? Both you and Puck."

"…I suppose Bubby has extracted mana from you as well?"

"Yeah, that bastard. He said I was full of mana, and he just kept asking and asking and forcefully… What's wrong?"

As Subaru continued his rant, a bit of crimson appeared beneath Beatrice's eyes. She placed both hands on her cheeks and muttered, "Ah, what a thing, I suppose. Betty and Bubby had an indirect mana-drain."

"What's with that bittersweet, indirect kiss-like reaction!" Stop that! I feel like a can that's been passed around!"

"With that in mind, it was quite a rich flavor… Can Betty do it again, I suppose?"

"I'll shrivel up like a prune! I don't have much blood right now!"

"Ah, right. Everything important was put back, but your blood wasn't returned, I suppose. Well, even Betty isn't that all-powerful."

Beatrice sighed in disappointment, but Subaru could only tilt his head in confusion. Her statement didn't match up with his memory.

"That makes it sound like it was you who patched me up. It's not good to try and steal credit from Emilia-tan."

"That half-blooded girl doesn't have the power to fix fatal wounds yet, in fact. She and Bubby closed the wound, and Betty healed it… What's wrong, I suppose?"

"I just don't know how to feel," he mused.

A hidden side of what happened back then had just unexpectedly come to light.

He assumed that Emilia had healed him, just like she did back in the alleyway. He glared at the girl in front of him suspiciously; she didn't falter and eyed him back just the same. Unless she's a big fat liar, her words can be taken as truth. That means that Beatrice is…

Subaru accused, "You big fat liar!"

She smiled smugly, and their conversation evolved into a teasing exchange. However, Subaru, annoyed, expressed his dissatisfaction.

"Why didn't you just tell me it was you who fixed me up? You're a big fat liar. You have the worst personality."

Beatrice playfully retorted, "Says the one who can't accept kindness from another person."

The verbal battle began and quickly escalated to the verge of a physical one. But before Subaru could grab her, he found himself flying through the air by Beatrice's magic. She played with one of her curls as he found himself hitting the now upside-down door.

"It's about time for you to leave, I suppose. The shaking in your hands has stopped, so your fear must've left you."

"…You noticed it?"

"You were trying to hide it, I suppose? It's vexing to be treated so conveniently."

Beatrice turned her nose up and waved her hand as if to shoo away a bug. Subaru accepted this gesture, righted himself, and stood up. He then brought his hand up to his face—the shaking had indeed stopped.

"I guess the time for excuses is over. Jeez, you're not kind at all." He smiled bitterly. With that last excuse over, Subaru raised his head. Placing his hand on the doorknob, he turned back to the girl one last time. "Sorry. But thanks. I'll come again."

"Your payment was the indirect mana-drain. Next time Betty will drain the rest of it, I suppose. So don't come here again."

"This is strange; he isn't here yet," Subaru thought to himself as he approached the door, expecting to meet Tanaka, just like in the previous loop. Consequently, he closed the door, much to Beatrice's irritation, causing her eyebrows to twitch involuntarily.

"Are you testing Betty's patience, I suppose."

"Well, I kind of changed my mind, so I'm just going to play around here."

'I want to wait for Tanaka until he finds me to restart the loop from that point.'

Beatrice then stood up, a look of frustration apparent on her face. She raised her hand, and a gust of wind swirled around her.

Subaru felt an impending sense of danger and tried to plead with her, "Wait! Wait! Wait! HEAR M...."

"Your time is up, in fact."

With that, Subaru's feet left the ground, and he was launched from the door over the window. As he flew through the air, he couldn't help but shout, "Arrivederci."

He had been struck by Beatrice's magic and launched out the door. From there, his body kept going past the second-floor terrace until finally landing in a flower bed below. Luckily the ground was soft enough to cushion his fall, but depending on how he fell he could have easily had to restart for the third time.

"That darned loli, it keeps seeming more likely that she's the one who killed me…."

"Umm, can I ask if you're okay?"

Meeting the silver-haired girl in the garden, Subaru relaxed.

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As he was contemplating Roswaal's incoming proposal, he couldn't help but notice the absence of Tanaka. Unlike the previous two loops, where Tanaka had been right there with him during his negotiations with Roswaal, he was now nowhere to be seen.

'Where is that guy?'

"Aaas Lady Emilia's patron," Roswaal began speaking, snaping Subaru back to the conversation that was taking place.

"I am willing to pay a reeeeasonable price to keep the information you obtained about the insignia robbery under wraps. Okaaay?"

"A price, huh…" Subaru repeated thoughtfully. Having successfully brought the conversation back to this point, he contemplated how to reach his ideal conclusion.

In his previous two loops, Subaru settled the matter with an appeal to work in the mansion as their butler. The last time, he only did so on the assumption that the day would unfold in the same manner as the first. But this time he had no intention whatsoever of traveling down the same path. In order to guarantee a different outcome, the reward from Roswaal would also have to be different.

"Okay, Rosy," he said conclusively. "Let me crash at your mansion for a couple of days. And after that, I'll get out of your hair. Just lend me a bit of pocket money for the road."