'The person I grew attracted to ended up being a queen.'
'The person I was talking casually this morning is a royal candidate.'
Subaru: "A phrase like 'queen candidate' has such an erotic feeling to it."
Tanaka's eyes widened in shock as he responded to Subaru's remark.
Tanaka: "You fucker!! Are you trying to get us executed?"
Emilia, caught in the middle of the conflicting reactions, voiced her confusion.
Emilia: "Why am I getting two completely different reaction that I don't like?"
Subaru, his face flushed with a mix of excitement and fear, continued his banter. "Waaaah, your cold gaze is sending shivers down my spine... Just as one would expect from a queen. Please don't look at me as if I'm some lowly pig!"
Emilia: "I'm not looking at you in such a horrible way, okay? I wish you wouldn't say things like that, Subaru!"
Tanaka, trying to diffuse the tension, interjected in a hushed voice. "Shhh, dude seriously stop. God knows what nobles might do if we piss them off."
Subaru: "Hey, relax, buddy. Emilia-Tan over here is as harmless as a butterfly with a feather duster. She wouldn't even hurt a mosquito, unless it stole her ice cream, then it's on!"
Subaru's non-challan behavior was ticking him, his tone turned stricter as he tried to convey the seriousness of the situation.
Tanaka: "You are being naïve, too naïve!! You should know that aristocrats are bunch of pieces of shit especially royalties. If you offend them in any way, you can kiss your ass goodbye."
Subaru, unfazed by Tanaka's warning, quipped back scratching his cheek.
Subaru: "By offending, you mean the way you did just now?"
Tanaka's serious face got disturbed as he realized his previous comment had been overheard. He broke into a cold sweat, feeling the weight of his words. Suddenly, Tanaka abruptly stood up from his seat, causing everyone's eyes to shift towards him. However, instead of gracefully kneeling, he stumbled forward, barely managing to regain his balance before tumbling to the ground.
Tanaka: "Please forgive me and this retard for our insolence, please don't hang us or boil us or throw us as food for some wild animal or... Just don't kill us please."
Subaru: "Oy, you fucker! Don't shift the blame towards me."
Roswaal: "I muuust say that I'm quiiiiiiite sad that you feel that way Tanaka-Kun, I thought there was somethiiiiiiing special between us."
As the two kept teasing him. Emilia on the other hand was genuinely taken aback by Tanaka's display, she quickly reassured him with a sense of urgency. "I WONT! I WONT TO ANYTHING BAD! PLEASE STAND UP!"
As Tanaka heard her request and seeing the reaction of those around him, Subaru and Roswaal were openly teasing him, he saw the little spirit girl Beatrice was sneering at him, and the twin maids were covering their mouth with their hands trying to hide their laughter. Realizing his mistake, Tanaka's face flushed in embarrassment, he then slowly stood up and then spoke up in a low voice trying to play it cool, "Ahem, sorry about that little outburst."
Rem: "Sister, sister, Tanaka-Kun is trying to pretend like nothing happened."
Ram: "Rem, Rem, Tanuki acting skills are truly remarkable."
Tanaka: "Alright, alright. How about we zip it and focus on the matter at hand?"
Emilia, her voice laced with sincerity, tried to ease his fears.
Emilia: "Yes yes, I have no idea how nobles act in your world but here, as long as you are in this mansion, no one is going to harm you. I promise you."
Roswaal, intrigued by the discussion, couldn't resist his curiosity." Just out of curiosity, hooow do nobles act in your world."
Subaru: "There aren't any. Most ruling systems were abolished after world wars, and now citizens in most countries vote for a new president every five years. But in our history, there were all types of messed up, psychopathic rulers. I remember a story about a Roman emperor who used to fight in a gladiator arena, but his opponents were usually weakened or handicapped, giving him an unfair advantage."
Subaru paused for a moment, a look of disgust crossing his face. "And yeah, I forgot to mention that he also had a personal harem of 300 concubines or something like that. Truly a piece of garbage."
Emilia: "That's... horrifying. How could someone do such things?"
Roswaal: "I seee, even throooough you emphasized on the less important point. This explains Tanaka-Kun reaction."
Tanaka: "He actually picked a cute example, Genghis Khan and his Mongol armies destroying entire cities, massacring millions of people to instill fear and deter resistance. Leopold the second invading and colonizing other countries. Under his rule, forced labor, torture, and massacres were rampant, leading to the deaths of millions. And.... Let's not talk about the guy with the funny mustache."
The room fell into a momentary silence as everyone absorbed the weight of Tanaka's words and the atrocities committed by past leaders. Seemingly, the image they had for what's beyond the Great cascade was something like a fairytale land.
Subaru, trying to alleviate the tension, interjected with a more positive outlook. "But hey, let's not get too hung up on the past! Sure, those guys were total jerks but they are long gone. After all, look at all the cool stuff we have now! We've got anime, manga, video games, fast food, and so much more!"
Emilia nodded, relieved by Subaru's reassurance. "Even through I didn't understand a single thing, it's seems the state of your world is better now, then that's good. Okay, now let's go back to our topic."
With a clap of her hands, Emilia reset the conversation and calmly returned to her seat.
Roswaal: "Lady Emilia."
Emilia: "Mm, I understand."
After giving a quiet response to that call, Emilia put her hand in her pocket. She then brought out the object from her pocket and placed it on the table.
Subaru: "That's… I-isn't that the insignia from…?"
Emilia: "Yesterday, I went to the capital in order to attend some business concerning the royal election, and I got my insignia stolen. I tracked the thief down until I reached an abandoned warehouse, that's where I met Subaru and where he helped me get it back. "
Tanaka: "What the hell were you doing in an abandoned warehouse?"
Subaru: "I swear dude, I still have no clue how I got caught up in that mess, but regardless I think it was super worth since I got to meet Emilia-Tan."
In truth, Subaru had orchestrated the events that led to him retrieving the insignia. He then looked at the seemingly precious thing which he risked his.. Traded his life for three times. It was the insignia adorned with a dragon motif that had been put through the bitter experience of being stolen, courtesy of Felt, something that Subaru had finally returned to its rightful owner after coming back from three whole deaths.
The deep, serene twinkle of the crimson jewel in its owner's hands filled Subaru with a sense of awe, its prettiness sparking his curiosity.
Roswaal: "You seeee, the dragon signifies the crest of Lugunica. There is a reaaaaason why we call it the Dragon Kingdom of Lugunica. It is a symbol that is often found on castle walls, weapons, and armor, but that insignia is especiaaaally important. Anyhoooow…"
Roswaal paused for a second. Subaru gave him a look that urged him to go on, which he nodded to, and then he shifted his gaze to Emilia to suggest that she continue. She closed her eyes, and then said, "It is one's qualification as a royal selection candidate. —A test to determine if the person is worthy of sitting on the throne of the Kingdom of Lugunica."
As her words echoed in the room, a sudden surge of energy rippled through the air. Tanaka and Subaru, caught completely off guard, shot up from their seats simultaneously, their jaws practically hitting the floor.
Subaru: "Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold up a second! You mean to tell me that the very thing that determines your eligibility for the throne... it's gone? Just like that?"
Tanaka: "You lost your proof of qualification as a ruler!? And my parents call me carefre..." Tanaka covered his mouth realizing his tongue is slipping.
On the other hand, Emilia witnessing their reaction was blushing in embarrassment. "Don't put it so disgracefully! A light-fingered girl stole it!"
Subaru: "That's the same thing—!!" With that loud shout, Subaru slammed his hands against the dining table as he rose to his feet.
He looked down at Emilia. Her face was turning crimson, her eyes brimming with humiliation.
Subaru: "Even if you make a face that stimulates my sadistic heart, it won't work!"
Tanaka: " Waaaait, seriously, aren't you just screwed if you lost it!?"
Subaru: "Yeah, like how the hell does this whole thing work!? If you lost it, could you just get a new one issued by a public office!?"
Roswaal: "Public office… I am not quiiite sure what that means, but it wouuuld be difficult to simply nonchalantly go and ask for another one, you seeee."
Gazing at the flustered Subaru, Roswaal calmly adjusted the collar of his clothing, and continued, "A king carries the kingdom on their shoulders. It would be outrageous if they could not even protect a siiingle small insignia. Why should people think they could entrust the country to such a person?"
While Roswaal kept talking, Subaru digested everything that had happened.
The stolen insignia, their encounter in the alleyway, the fight at the Stolen Goods Warehouse, getting welcomed like this. The answers he could derive from this became united into a single one.
Subaru: "That explains why I almost died yesterday, the situation was pretty serious."
Tanaka caught off guard from Subaru's declaration, spoke up, "Wait what!? What do you mean almost died?"
Roswaal: "Yessss, Emilia-Sama brouuuught him in the middle of the night, he was deaaaathly pale, covered in blood, and on the verge of deaaath. Right now, I'm deeeeeply moooved to see him walking around like this."
Tanaka: "How did I miss such an episode?"
Rem: "Tanaka-Kun was sleeping when Emilia-Sama arrived."
Ram: "Tanuki didn't notice anything because he was sleeping."
Subaru then began recounting the events that unfolded at the warehouse—the encounter with Felt, their clash with Elsa, Reinhard's timely arrival, and his own heroic act of saving Emilia in the nick of time.
Tanaka: "Shit dude, are you really okay now?"
Subaru: "Yeah, I'm all patched up now, it's all thanks to Emilia-Tan's healing magic."
He then added, "In any case, If the imperial guards got word that you'd lost the insignia, it'd seriously be bad. That's why Emilia-tan was looking for it all by her lonesome, like a lonely puppy."
"…Yes, that's right." Emilia replied.
Subaru: "Felt was the one who stole it, but Elsa was the one who made her steal it. And she said someone had requested her to do it."
Tanaka: "Then whoever hired that assassin tried to prevent Emilia from becoming a queen."
Roswaal: "That's probably the caaase here. If someone wanted to make you drop out of the royal selection, there is no simpler way that I can think of than to steal the insiiignia."
After affirming what had been said, everything that had happened to Subaru yesterday started to come together.
How Emilia was so stubborn; Felt and her client, Elsa. And how the value of the insignia was the direct cause of him getting into a mess and dying many times.
Subaru: "Man, now that I think about it, I did a super good job! Whatever I did was seriously amazing, huh!? You were in danger of sayin' sayonara to the royal selection, right, Emilia-tan!? And since you were about to lose the insignia, saying 'I accidentally lost my insignia! Teehee! Sorry!' won't cut it, right!?"
Emilia: "Wow, I couldn't understand sixty percent of what you just said."
Subaru: "Waaaaaaaah, it doesn't matter! What actually matters here is that, looking back, I did a super awesome job for you, didn't I, Emilia-tan?!"
Subaru was in a state of ecstasy once he realized that he had unexpectedly accomplished a great deed by doing the things he did. Then he got up again, brought his face close to the still-seated Emilia, and took excited nasal breaths.
Subaru: "Fu-fu-fu, how about it, hoooow aboouuut iiiiit, Emilia-TAN. This fool right here was nice and played a preeety active role in making you happy, huh? Maaan, I wonder if I can expect a nice reward or something, really! I wonder, I wonder, I wonder?!"
Subaru cast his gaze down at Emilia, placed his hand below her chin, and lifted it up.
Upon hearing Subaru's great achievement, Tanaka decided to ignore Subaru's non-challan attitude towards Emilia, they owed him big time after he saved their asses and they seemed like good people who would tolerate his weird personality.
Tanaka: 'I guess he earned a pass to act however the fuck he wants.'
Emilia: "…Yeah, you're right. You've been a great help to me, Subaru. So much that you saving my life isn't enough to describe it. So… you can ask me for anything."
Subaru: " Well, I think it's more accurate to ask your backer since you are penniless, isn't that right Rozchi?"
At that manner of address, he pointed at himself.
Roswaal: "Are you perhaps refeeeering to me by any chance?"
Subaru: "Who else would it be? Rozchi. It's really the perfect name for you."
Affirming it with a nod of his head, Roswaal laughed cheerily, but everyone in the room had a different reaction. Emilia's face stiffened, the twins glared at Subaru, Tanaka let out a defeated sigh, and Beatrice had an uninterested look on her face as she spoke up, "Do all people beyond the Great Cascade have this stupid habit of altering other people's names, I wonder?"
Tanaka: "Nope, just him."
Subaru: "Shut it drill Loli, grown ups are talking!"
Tanaka: "Pffttttttt."
Beatrice: "What's with that lili, in fact! What the heck is up with you, I wonder!!"
Tanaka: "Hahaha, I can't, you nailed this one, ha"
Subaru, pleased with Tanaka's reaction, grinned even wider. However, Beatrice leaned back into her chair and crossed her arms, looking quite angry, not fully grasping the meaning behind Subaru's words but sensing the jest, she wore a displeased expression.
Their playful banter continued, adding a lighthearted atmosphere to the room.
Roswaal, amused by the exchange, decided to steer the conversation back on track.
Roswaal: "Anyhoow, On the topic of private funds, I, the patron, am more suited for you to ask for a reward from, rather than Lady Emilia, who is essentially penniless, is it nooot?"
Subaru: "Right? And you shouldn't be able to refuse me, either. Afterall, I saved Emilia-tan's life and contributed greatly to preventing her from dropping out of the royal selection! In short, I'm something like a savior for the Emilia-tan Camp in the royal selection!"
Roswaal: "I muuuust admit that it is the truth. Well then, allow me to ask you a question in addition to that." Roswaal stood up, looking down at Subaru from his superior stature.
Roswaal: "Whaaat do you desire from me? As it is, I cannot refuse your request. Even if you wish for any sort of treasure. Or perhaaaaps, even if you preferred something else… such as a luxurious banquet set up for yourself. If it is to conceal the truth of the lost insignia, then I am willing to do anything."
Subaru: "Hee–hee–hee, as one would expect from a great nobleman. You really speak my language."
With a lewd smile on his face, Subaru tenderly poked his thin chest with his elbow.
It was painful to hear the sound of his popularity falling to pieces behind him, but this had all been for the sake of preparing for this. Bearing the image of a villain, he extended both hands out. "I will ask for any reward that my heart desires! And you cannot refuse me! This is a promise between me and you. If you break it, you'll have to swallow 1,000 needles."
Subaru: "Seems like I'd be on the briiiink of deaaath by the 100th one. Well then, it is a promise."
Roswaal: "A man doesn't go back on his word, right!?"
Subaru: "I must say, that iiis quite a saying. I see. A man mustn't make excuses. I will not go back on my word."
It was a negotiation with both of them presenting their strong-mindedness as a man.
Believing that it was worth placing his trust in a promise that was made on top of that, Subaru proudly crossed his arms.
Subaru: "Then, hire me to work in this mansion."
Compared to how long he had built it up, Subaru's declaration was said easily, without hesitation. And obviously everyone was dumbfounded.