"UNIQUELY IDENTICAL TO HER," CHIARA SMIRKED. "So, I realized that your animosity with her lies more in a competitive complex, to see who's better since you are almost the same in everything, than in actual hatred. Am I right?"
Yes. But she said nothing and only chewed her bottom lip.
Chiara turned to Kevin, "And as incredible as it looks, you also fall into that, cousin. Not as weirdly identical as Khloe and Nina, but surprisingly similar in a way that is hard to ignore. To Cornel. Though you are definitely better and more easier to deal with than that one might be. Plus the fact that he leans more into introversion. But you've noticed your similarities, have you not?"
Unfortunately, he sighed. "I did, indeed. But I'm better."
"I agreed with that," she rolled her shoulders. "I just found it to be rather amusing. It's the same with papa and Nicolae."
"My brother's always been better than him, though."
"That is a fact," Chiara exclaimed. "Papa was the best and even if he isn't here anymore, he'll remain as the best. But at least I can understand why he would befriend Nicolae Scarlat to begin with. Well, he's always been a bad bitch. Both him and mama, that's why they made such a powerful and intimidating couple. Something I will always look up to, even now that we are apart."
Hm? Is that a clue for her type? Khloe grinned. "So, you want a relationship such as the one your parents had? With someone strong and intimidating, who will allow a power play to happen. Dom with dom. And equal. Like that?"
Chiara arched her eyebrows, "No man is as powerful as I am, Khloe, neither will they be an equal to me. At least, not in the brute meaning of the word. Yes, I would appreciate a power play, and yes, I do feel like I want a relationship like the one my parents had. Not to mention that mama was more powerful than papa, and could also throw him down on a fair fight, but they became equals in a overall of abilities."
"Is that your smart and fancy way of saying yes?"
Jesus, this raggaza is really something else. "Not necessarily, but kind of? I do not have a vision formed of what I want in a person. You see, I've never been in love, and my entire heart was solely for my family. I'm attracted to danger and trouble, so I would be more into someone that doesn't like me than someone who's already into me. But I've avoided any kind of relationship, because I'm not very healthy. I am definitely what people call a red flag."
As if that wasn't obvious, Kevin almost chuckled. A deadly and overpowered weapon with its own conscience would only allow someone to hold itself, if that someone proved worthy and strong. It's the Norse tale of Thor and Mjolnir, only a God would be able to hold and use the power of such a Godly weapon. "How so?"
And I thought it was obvious to them by now. "I am a very possessive person, Kevin. Since I was a child, I presented severe anger issues. At 7, I was diagnosed with DMDD; which stands for Disruptive Mood Dysregulation Disorder, and is usually only seen in children and adolescents. Nevertheless, when I was 14, my family began to wonder if I had Bipolar Disorder, and when the diagnosis came out, it wasn't bipolarity but IED. Which is just as bad and stays throughout adulthood."
Khloe blinked confused with the term, "What is IED?"
"IED stands for Intermittent Explosive Disorder," Millie said. And it is definitely dangerous in a person with Chiara's skills.
Chiara nodded; oh, she's clever. "To put it down for you, IED involves repeated, sudden episodes of impulsive, aggressive, violent behavior or angry verbal outbursts in which you react grossly out of proportion to the situation."
"So, you have both DMDD and IED?" Kevin frowned.
"I don't know. DMDD is more severe than IED, however it's diagnosis is cutoff at 18. I'm not 18 yet, so for now, between the two, what stands the most is DMDD. But it's bad nonetheless, and it's very complicated to deal with someone like this, thus one of my red flags."
"It's worse than IED?" Khloe gasped. "What are the signs?"
Does she means symptoms? "The symptoms of DMDD are ongoing irritability, anger, and frequent, intense temper outbursts. It goes beyond a "bad mood." And compared to the others, the DMDD symptoms are considered to be severe."
That doesn't sound good. Doesn't sound good at all. "But my brother and Caterina treated you, right? You received treatment for it, didn't you?"
Chiara stared at him for a while, making a worrisome silence befall them, rising the anxiety in the air, "The Mafia believes anger is a blessing, and I had more than most people. Thus, they believed the best was to utilize that and weaponize it, teaching me how to use my anger to my benefit in fighting and killing." Dio mio, look at their faces. Priceless. "Besides, mama also had IED, which she was said to have since the tender age of 9, and she used that pretty well."
They gasped, "Rufus left you untreated?" Kingsley frowned.
"Yes? It was for the best. Papa became a vital part of the Di Matteo back in Italy, and he was very close to my nonni, thus when they explained to him how that was more of a bless than a curse, he accepted it and helped me refining it. Anyway, I was diagnosed with severe anxiety at 12, and with depression at 15, after nonno died. That merda definitely got way worse now, give all that happened."
Bloody hell, "How many mental illness do you have, Chiara?" Khloe questioned worried with her eyes wide, as Chiara had told them about four, and it didn't sound like that was all.
"A bit?" Chiara chuckled. "Well, up until now the mental doctor of the Di Matteo diagnosed me, from a tender age, with IED, DMDD, predominantly impulsive and hyperactive severe ADHD, PTSD, severe anxiety, depression, more than one sleep issue," she caressed the curled tip of her braided hair. "SPD and OCD."
Shit! It was their shared thought.
"What do you mean by more than one sleep issue?" Khloe tried to remain as calm as she could, even though she was internally freaking out.
"Besides the insomnia you're already aware of? When I sleep, I tend to go through somnambulism, in which we walk, talk, and do stuff while sleeping. And when I present a high level of stress and fall asleep, I have sleep-paralysis," and it all began after my first kill. "That's why I prefer to overwork myself utilizing my insomnia, rather than trying to sleep, because it never do me any good. It works until I faint from exhaustion. When that happens, I don't go through either somnambulism or sleep-paralysis."
Tormented is an understatement to describe this kid. "When did that began?"
Chiara clenched her jaw, "When I was 12." Should I be totally honest with them? Because they are looking quite frightened. "You can say that the first time we kill someone causes quite the effect on someone."
They turned pale.
Khloe gulped, "You first killed someone at twelve?"
"Why?" Kevin gasped.
She looked from one to the other. "Don't be quick to judge on this case, alright? No one intended for that to happen. None of mama's family made me do it, neither did my parents. Long story cut short, the Di Matteo has countless of enemies, but the ones we were wary the most were the other Mafia famiglias in Italy, because they represented the real danger. It was because of them that we all needed to be extra prepared and always on guard, never trusting any person who wasn't from our famiglia. The Marangon clan, living in Palermo, very near Sicily, were the only ones in the area that were considerably as strong as the Di Matteo."
"Cut it short," Khloe asked, and Chiara glared at her. Scary. "Sorry, I didn't mean it rudely."
"Don't be impatient if you want to understand, raggaza. As I was saying, they were dangerous enemies whose are of action was near ours, thus the confrontation as inevitable when people of the two famiglias crossed ways. However, when I was 12, they tried a bolder approach on us, on mama. Bolder but that marked them as cowards. They targeted me, Tine, and Cosi, and they attacked our villa when everyone else left, believing a war against the Marangon would break out on the border. When I heard them coming, I put the sound-blocking headsets on my siblings' ears, and locked them in papa's bulletproof cabinet, where he used to put all his computers and hacking stuff. I took out the five loaded guns that papa kept hiding under his desk, and I shot everyone," and by doing that, I accidentally killed some of our staff on the blinding peak of adrenaline and fear. Chiara clenched her jaw, haunted.
"Jesus Christ," they gasped, covering their mouths in sync.
"It must have been traumatizing," Millie muttered.