Yeah, it's always been my life in the end. My choice who I married and what I'd do after leaving home.
That's what I told myself.
The words of Garcia, I guess…
Have you ever loved someone so much you'd give an arm for them. Not the simple explanation- No…
LITERALLY give an arm for them.
When they know they're in your heart and you know you're their armour. Protecting them and you.
To the point you would destroy anything that would try to harm them. Break any who'd dare to do so…
I had someone like that.
My mother was the Popess within Drakeyol. The great Holy City blessed by the 13 Graces of old.
In a demon attack, she'd lost her arm trying to protect me. Doing all she could to keep me safe.
That's what a parent was.
Nothing like that irresponsible father who left home to pursue his dreams. She was the true parent.
Even if she was a product of the times…
My mom used to say: "Baby, you make me proud."
I was a filial daughter with a pretty face. A good match for a good parent who'd stayed by my side.
She knew me so well, even scolding: "You've got such a pretty face… so why the dirty mouth!"
I was quite the problem child at home.
Rebellious enough to use bad, uncouth words.
It felt great being the high profile rebel.
I asked: "How come you call me crazy when I speak my mind? Men are doing that all the time."
"That's just how men are." She would snap back and double down: "We girls have to be proper."
"Is that why you taught me how to sing? So I could lull my hubby and stand like a canary?" I quipped.
Damn, she was right about this mouth of mine.
Improper things to say were coming natural to me.
I acted as crazy as she and my absent 'father' had raised me. Singing my songs to my heart's content.
It wasn't a love song. Not even a sing along.
But if I asked those noble ladies in Drakeyol if they were with me, I knew they wouldn't disagree.
Sweet like a honeycomb, and stinging people like the bee from a hive. That was their described me.
They asked too much from little old me.
Add a little sugar, they say. Be a little sweeter, they say. Be proper, they say. Speak softer, they say.
Girls shouldn't talk when the man is speaking.
It wasn't right to do.
And what was more important than 'rightness'?
Gotta be a lady, but I had one thing to say:
"FUUUUUCK ALL OF YOU!" Countless marriage proposals from old, 'virtuous' men were thwarted.
The idealisation I had of my mother broke apart.
She indeed protected me, but didn't care for a word I said. To her, reputation was what mattered.
The religion was her people.
Fine. I'll do me and you do you.
I didn't need nobody's permission.
I wouldn't back down against her…
I'm Garcia. The only limited-edition crazy Cleric girl that'd not be in the good graces of her mother.
Nice to meet you~
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Sixty thousand people all jumpin' out their seat.
The curtain closes, and they were throwing roses at his feet. He took a bow, and thanked us all for comin' out. A familiar face made eye-contact with the man, and he couldn't help looking back at me.
They're screamin' so loud my eardrums were bursting. And it looked like my father didn't notice.
Still, he took one last look at the crowd.
Glanced down, and likely didn't believe what he was seeing. Right, Dad… I ran away from home.
I came to see you.
Even among all the cheers of the crowd, he heard my voice clear and loud. As if nothing else existed.
"Daddy, it's me… Can we be together again?" The tearjerker of a joyful reunion ended with a big hug.
I lived life on the edge like no other. Becoming a brat that did whatever she wanted. Whenever.
"How did you get here? We're all the way out on the edge. Your mother wouldn't have let you come here. Disasters happen here too often." Even if he said that, it didn't stop me from coming over.
I was a great Cleric, after all.
Demons were no match for someone like me.
"I followed you here. Don't worry, I can take care of myself now. So please… don't leave me this time."
"…Alright. Promise." He said that so seriously…
…I should have noticed the depths of his eyes.
The hidden pain that he wouldn't let me see that night, and the true reason why he never returned.
I'd find out about it the next morning.
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Outside the Inn I'd slept. Just nearby the truck that was both Dad's stage, house, and travel vehicle…
…I was losing my mind.
"You told me that you weren't leaving!" Even if he was 'Dad', how dare he do this to me like this?
I grabbed this coward by the collar.
"Sorry…" Rather than explaining himself, Dad just made a foolish smile as I was screaming his name.
His name being Dad, since I didn't remember the thing Mom called him when they were together.
This was all I referred to him as this whole time.
"You lied to me… Why? Do I make you uncomfortable to stay? Is it my looks?" I dressed like a high maintenance girl. Guys would probably call my looks 'feisty' and easy on the eyes.
His band members seemed to think my ass was lit.
Just look at them checking me out even now.
One glare was enough to make one of them remember how I decked him for staring too long.
Damn these fucking Bards…!
I get that Dad became a travelling singer because he was a Bard himself, but why leave so secretly?
Couldn't he tell me he'd go off again himself?
…Not that I'd let him do that, anyway.
"If you need money, I'm an S Rank Adventurer all on my own. Look!" I took out a golden coin readily and put it in his hand, causing gasps from the long haired hippies that were playing the instruments.
"Garcia…" He tried speaking up.
"No! I get what you're about to say. Fine. I'm leaving, I get the point already… but don't tell me to go away." I barely held in my grief. It was so hard finding him, but he was chasing me away like this?
How could he leave me? Not even saying goodbye.
"But wait…" He tried to stop me.
"It's too late Dad, you made your choice. You made the same one you did the first time. What left is there for you to say? Now go out there and show them that you love them more than us!" I stamped my feet. Tired and angry at his dumb expression.
Why did I even come?
"You're misunderstanding." He tried to worm his way out of it, but I couldn't handle his rejection.
"Go sing for them. That's what they want. They want you now. They keep screaming your name every day. It's no wonder you couldn't just go to sleep." My sharp words made him fall into silence.
I turned to leave. Maybe it was better pretending I only had Mom in my life. She also did whatever she wanted to, but at least had interest in me. Why did I let myself chase him here? Miss him to this extent?
No, I couldn't deny it.
My Dad was the one who taught me to sing.
It was something I started to love when he introduced me to this. Singing lullabies for me.
"We're having one last performance. Attend it for me." Dad said while shoving a ticket in my hand.
As if he had been holding onto it for this chance.
It's ragged. He'd definitely been holding onto this for a long time. It's bad… but I couldn't ignore this.
Even though I'd left without saying another word.
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The next night was his final performance before he'd leave. I couldn't stop my feet from moving.
Dad asked me a favour for the first time.
He looked at me with those eyes…
I couldn't ignore that look. Taking the ticket and going to the front-row plastic collapsible seats.
The spotlight fell on a handsome figure.
Dad was such a cheat. Looking so young and nice when all his friends turned to bearded weirdos.
Pervs who didn't seem to do anything but play music all the time, then moving to the next city.
What was the point?
Just as I thought that, the music started without me noticing. It was a slow but intriguing melody.
That's what the synced instruments were like…
Dad took one look at me before scanning the crowd around me. He smiled like the sunrise.
Warming, and not at all cruel…
Only those who didn't know him would think that.
Damn coward.
"This one is a song I'd wrote years ago." He spoke.
Dad's microphone allowed his voice to be heard by everyone even without the use of any big speakers.
An exclusive piece of tech only usable by Bards.
His earlier words ended without any sequel. It left me no choice but to listen to his singing to know…
…just what was he hiding?
Dad started singing for me:
"From underneath the trees, we'd watch the sky. A plane would be our shooting star. Even if it's a lie."
"I'd never dreamed of having you, but here you were. My girl was smiling, and was always trying."
"But here we are, we're here tonight. I bit the karma, but what happens when karma bites back?"
"What armour do I have?"
"And everything you stand for turns on you to spite you. The righteous criticise things despite you..."
"What happens when you become the main source of her pain? When she shows you what she made but you gotta go catch the grade. She asks where's mommy. She can't find mommy where is she?
"I told her to 'go away Garcie baby your daddy is busy'." Dad revealed the worst of himself: "'Daddy writing this song, it not gonna write itself'. 'Dad will help you up, but you have to walk by yourself'."
It made me remember times I tried to ignore because I loved him. Wanting him to come home.
Maybe I purposely forgot…
"Then turn right around in that song and tell her you love her. Stole a cookie from the kitchen jar and appeased her mother. We forgot our pains and my karma left, but the time we had already left."
"I kept having this dream. I'm holding Garcie to help her walk. She keeps screaming she doesn't want me to leave. She said I'm making mommy sad. 'Why? Why is mommy crying?'."
"I told my baby I ain't leaving no more. To hear the words 'Bad Daddy, you lie!'. She says I always say that, and I always say this is the last time. But Daddy you're not leaving no more. Daddy is mine."
"She's piling boxes in front of the door trying to stop it. Daddy don't leave me. 'Daddy, no stop it!'."
"A father left his daughter to be the hero of another's dream. Giving her a nightmare, but I didn't mean to be mean. When I look up, it's just me standing in front of my bathroom mirror."
"These walls must be talking because man I can hear her. Screaming my name again. Can't sleep."
"My fans are saying 'You got one more chance in life to do right, and it is tonight'. 'Go out there and tell her that you love her, before goodnight!'. And just as I go to walk out of my bathroom door…
…It turns to a stage, they're gone and the spotlight is on and I'm singing. Heroes don't be thinking."
The crowd didn't hear the lyrics at all. They were so moved by the rhythm and the funky beats.
They cheered so loud, I just wanted to leave.
He said all he wanted to say to me.
But just as I turned around, he started singing again with an emotional voice filled with hope:
"I hear an applause, and how all this time I couldn't see. How could it be? That the curtain is closing on me? The stage-light sun darkens. My life flashes before me. The nightmare ended before me."
"That's when I wake up. My alarm clock kept on ringing. Flowers were blooming and birds are singing. It's spring and Garcie's outside with the lilies. Springing me up to life to continue my path."
"Songs save the world, I'll write them myself."
"Garcie baby, spring won't end just yet. Daddy will make the world right. Don't worry. Wait for me."
"And when I'm gone in your life, just carry on with it. Don't mourn for me. Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice. You know I'm looking down on you smiling. Protecting you will all my heart."
"Don't feel no pain, Garcie. I'll always be back."
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It was only after I watched Dad and his mates leave that I was told about why he was travelling around.
Bards were a special Class. Depending on their songs, they could induce effects on a big crowd.
Dad left specifically for this.
Those in villages far from Drakeyol and Faustus City were susceptible to miasma poisoning.
But there wasn't enough Clerics spread around.
Not enough to cast 'Protection' on every person.
By singing to large groups with Holy Mana in his voice, Dad was essentially saving a lot of people.
It was no lie that people saw him as a hero.
There was no Demon Lord he was questing to defeat, only people to save while leaving me be.
So when will he come back for me?
Probably never. Until the world was saved, he'd likely continue travelling to protect the people.
That was just who Dad was to me.
When I had my own children, I wanted to protect them like my mother and love them like my father.
Only… I failed as one.
When my son died, I tried to take in whatever was born into the corpse as my own son in denial.
When I had another child, the thought of starting a family from scratch… unfairly crossed my mind.
But all those thoughts vanished in an instant.
Two kids had knocked desperately on my door and dragged me out to save their gravely injured friend.
Diana had gone out and Farhon was still guarding the edges of the village. A bit far from home.
I had to take care of this matter myself.
What I didn't expect to see was Graid plastered to a tree, and my son having been beaten senseless.
"What happened to him?" I looked at the two kids who called me over, and they spilled everything.
I walked up to the hero who saved Graid and his son. Holding his fragile body in my arms.
The last time I'd held him like this… was when he was a baby. He was too light. As if he wasn't fed.
My heart shuddered when I realised my son had squeezed out his life force to protect these people.
Even at the cost of unimaginable pain and agony.
It made me feel ashamed…
I'm sorry. I'm a bad mother…
I tried abandoning you.
How could I think that you weren't my son? Even if you aren't that, you'll still be mine from now on.
No one can say otherwise.
My brave little hero, your grandpa would've loved you sincerely. You're just like him. You're one of us.
Don't let anyone say otherwise!
…No. I have to say this to your face. You have to wake up. You can't die like this. Not yet… Not now.
Don't worry. I'll be here for you. Always.
Mommy won't let your muscles fall into atrophy and become crippled. I'll definitely save you!
Just sleep for now. Everything will be alright.