When I woke up the second time, it took me a moment to remember where I was. A bit of light is streaming through the crack between the window and the gray curtain that shadowed it. I carefully sit up, and my headache immediately reminds me of its presence. I can see shapes of furniture from the dim light, but no noise from anywhere. Thoughts slowly start to form in my mind.
I could run away. Should I run away? What if this actually is my home? There's no way. I wake up in a strange bed, meet all these strange people who won't let me see my parents and I just conveniently don't remember anything about living here. The more I think about it, the stupider I feel for doubting myself.
I throw back the covers and stand up. Again my legs fail me, but this time I grab the bed before I hit the ground too hard. Taking a few steady breaths, I attempt to rise again, but my legs don't move. I try over and over, until they are quivering from exertion. I fight the urge to cry. I don't know why, but my legs don't work. At all. Maybe I was drugged, and the effect will wear off eventually. Or maybe I was drugged and it will never wear off. Maybe Hokil, if that's really his name, wants to incapacitate me. I give up after a few more tries, and crawl on my hands and feet around the side of the bed.
There are doors on both sides of the bed, but instinctively I feel that the one on my side must be a bathroom. So I crawl over to the other one, and sit up on my knees to reach the handle. Turning it slowly, I discover it to be unlocked, and it opens easily. On the other side I see the extravagant dining room that I was carried through last night, at the end of a long hall. No one is around, but the lights are on. I crawl out into the hall.
"Miss Bani, what are you doing?" I shriek at the unexpected voice, and a face appears in front of me. "Forgive me, I didn't mean to scare you." He reaches out his hand to me. "Can you stand?" Something is off about his voice, the way he says his words. It doesn't sound right.
"No, I can't walk at all." He wrinkles his face in confusion.
"What?"
"What do you mean, what? I spoke perfectly clearly," I say, annoyed.
"Why are you talking-"
"Bani!" A voice cries out from across the room somewhere, interrupting him. "Attendant, I told you to tell me when she wakes up."
It's Hokil, and he looks sternly at the man, who dips his head and apologies. Hokil doesn't even notice as he lays his eyes on me and rushes to my side. "Bani, how are you feeling?" His tone with me is entirely different, softer and gentler. He is trying so hard to get me to let my guard down, and it's much scarier than if he were to yell at me.
"I'm fine," I grumble, looking at the ground. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me up. "What are you doing?" I demand.
"Hush, Bani, you can't walk. I'm just helping you."
"Where are you taking me?" He looks at me as if I should know the answer.
"Where were you headed?" I hesitate. Telling him I was going to run away doesn't sound like the safest option.
"To the bathroom," I lied. He carries me back into the bedroom I just left.
"The bathroom is right over here, honey," he tells me, walking over to the other door. Ew, honey. Do we have pet names? He takes me inside and lowers me onto the toilet. "Do you need help with anything?" He smiles earnestly at me.
"Yeah." I raise my arm and point at the door. "Shut it on your way out." His face freezes for a second, then he lets out a little chuckle.
"Of course."
His feet make a tak tak takking sound as he walks across the hardwood floor, and when he reaches the door, he pauses.
"I love you, Bani," he calls over his shoulder.
He doesn't even wait to see if I'll say it back. Well, obviously I wasn't going to. I'm glad this boy is learning.
After I finish, I crawl over to the sink to wash my hands. I can barely reach the faucet, and it reminds me of when I was very little, and Mom bought me a stepstool to use. Oh Mom, will I ever see you again? I shake my head at this thought. Of course I will. I'm gonna get away. This man cannot keep me here forever.
I reach for the soap, and stop as I notice something. There's a toothbrush holder fastened to the wall, and it has two toothbrushes in it. One of them is purple, my favorite color. I blink a few times. Just a coincidence. I finish washing my hands, crawl over to the door and open it again. Hokil was waiting for me on the bed, and jumped to his feet as soon as I emerged.
"Here, let me help." He tries to pick me up again, but I push him away.
"I can do it myself." I crawl over to the bed and attempt to get into it, but it's too high up. After a bit of struggling, I finally gave in.
"You can at least lift me up," I grumble. He immediately does, and I feel his broad chest against me. He's easily as strong as the man who carried me last night, but much gentler. After lowering me, he sits at my feet.
"Would you like anything to eat?" He asks me. I cross my arms and stare at the ceiling. It's a rather unremarkable ceiling.
"What time is it?" I ask. He checks his watch.
"It's about three in the afternoon."
"About," I repeat, mocking him. He doesn't react.
"Are you hungry?" He badgers me. I cross my arms and sigh at him.
"No."
"But you haven't had anything to eat for nearly two days." I wrinkle my brow.
"Is that how long I was unconscious?" It grows silent between us.
I wait for him to answer, but he just stares at me, shocked. Then he starts to laugh. And he laughs, and laughs, and laughs. The whole time I just stare at him. This man must be truly deranged. Finally he sobers.
"No, Bani. You were asleep for longer than that."
"How long?" I demand. He does not answer. "What's today's date?" He turns away so that his back faces me. "I'm not playing, Hokil. What is the date?"
Then I let the silence simmer a bit, see how HE likes it. I guess he doesn't mind it so much, because he doesn't say anything for quite a while.
"Three years," Finally he speaks.
"What?"
"Three years." I shake my head.
"No."
"Yes Bani, three years."
"No." I keep shaking my head at him. "No, you're lying."
"You have no idea how much I wish I was," he says quietly.
"No. No, no you're LYING!" I scream. I lunge at him and grab his shoulder, turning him to face me so I could see what expression he's making. He must be laughing secretly, thinking how funny it is to mess around with me like this. But he isn't. His cheeks are streaked with tears, and he has so much pain in his eyes.
But I don't care, because he's clearly lying. There's no way this is true. A million thoughts run through my brain, and so many of them are questions. How did I get myself into this predicament?
"Bani, what is the last thing you remember?"
"Shut up!" I scream at him. "I hate you!" I punch the pillows with my hands in fists, and suddenly become aware of the tears on my face as they begin to run down my neck as well. "I don't know you!" He grabs my hands and I try to break free from his grasp, but he holds them tightly.
"What is the last thing you remember??" For the first time, he raises his voice at me.
"I DON'T KNOW!" I scream so loudly that the pounding in my head gets unbearably strong. I curl up into a ball and start crying, waiting for the pain to go away. I feel the bed move as he stands up.
"I'm going to leave you alone," he says flatly. "I never should've asked in the first place, this is all my fault." He leaves the room, shutting the door behind him.
"Damn right this is your fault," I whisper to myself. "Kidnapping and drugging a seventeen year old. You're going to spend your life rotting in jail once I catch you." My eyelids start to feel heavy.
"I'm going to push needles in your eyes. I'm gonna-" My voice fades. "You better not have drugged me again, you bitch. I'm gonna-" I stop fighting it, and my eyes close.
I drift into slumber once again.