Chapter 5: Trial of Fear
After coming to the second trial, Tom looked around and saw the same Fog he saw in the first trial the only difference he could see was that this Fog had black color to it, while the one in the first trial had a yellow color.
Tom thought to himself that "those colors might have something to do with the meaning that hides behind each trial. If yellow represented self, what would black represent, or what could the other colors be?"
Tom didn't have much time to think because the same ancient voice he heard in the first trial spoke once again, although it had more clarity to it this time.
"There is no fear if emotions do not consume thy heart. There is no fear if no desires touch thy. Forsake the seven emotions and six desires, and thou shall reach."
After thinking about it for a short while, Tom understood the purpose of this trial. It is to surpass fear. Although the voice said he needed to abandon the seven emotions and six desires, he thought that was simply a hint. If you follow it, your path will be easier; if you don't, you will need to face the full strength of this trial.
Tom didn't want to become a doll with no feelings. But, even though immortality is his goal, that doesn't mean he was willing to be an immortal dull rock that will not have any desires or emotions. He thought a person without emotions could not feel, and a person without desires could not walk.
"Understanding your emotions and controlling them is the true way to reach ascendence in mind and achieve a realm beyond the norm, achieving nirvana."
Without thinking for much longer, Tom took his first step into the Fog, preparing himself for what was to come.
Darkness, pitch black darkness, no sound, no smell, not even the feeling of touch. Tom wondered if what he needed to do to succeed in this trial was simply to wait or?
Time passed little by little; Tom didn't know since he came here how long had passed and how long was left in this trial. He felt that the world was tightening at him, feeling a sense of unease.
"Did they forget about me?"
"Is this trial even working correctly? Who knows how long it has been running for?"
"Will I die here without achieving anything?"
Question after question started to pop up in Tom's mind. As he started to doubt the trial and doubt the world itself. More importantly, he was doubting himself.
Who could blame him? After all, Humans' biggest fear is the unknown. Did you ever have that feeling before you sleep if you will ever wake up tomorrow or if your loved ones will? Did you ever wonder if the you in the mirror is actually you or if it will launch itself at you while you look away?
Legends like these have made a lot of people unable to sleep at night. Making others laugh at them and telling them that these stories were simply made-up to make children behave themselves. However, these stories and legends we hear aren't always made up. For example, have you ever heard of the kids with black eyes? Demonic beings that wait for their prey at night. They might be knocking at your door any day, waiting for you to let them enter your house and take your life while wearing the skin of innocent children.
All of those legends and more gather when you are at your weakest point, when the darkness creeps in, and you want to sleep. The unknown makes you think about all of that which is hidden deep within.
Tom saw all that and more, and while he didn't see it with his eyes. Instead, he saw it with his mind. A person's mind can sometimes create a more real-world than reality itself. This reality might be a haven. A haven from all of the world's darkness and cruelty. But, unfortunately for Tom, his mind created a personal hell and nightmares worst than anything you can imagine.
Although Tom might have a stronger mentality than most mortals, he was still a mortal at the End of the day. Being stronger than them didn't make his mind reach a new level where it couldn't get destroyed. It only meant that he would not lose his way in normal circumstances.
From a nightmare to a nightmare seeing moments that he lived in his cursed life, while others were all new that he saw for the first time.
Tom heard a voice calling to him. Calling at him. He blinked his eyes in the darkness, not expecting to see anything new, but once he opened them again. He saw himself standing before Billions of people on a stage, and they all said one thing.
"You cursed, man, die here and now. Every little hardship you faced was caused by your own hands. Die now you are a demon."
The fear of rejection. The feeling of being rejected by your family and friends. The feeling of being rejected by the people you value most. Tom felt as if he was being rejected by all.
Tom might have been able to take a hundred, heck, even a thousand people attacking him. But billions of people gathering at you while cursing at every choice you made in life? Tom started to believe that he was going to fail himself at last.
The roller coaster of nightmares didn't stop there. From in front of billions of people to darkness and from darkness to underwater, where he was shackled by chains, where he couldn't breathe. He couldn't even cry for help. He felt the feeling of true and utter helplessness that only someone in that situation would relate to. The feeling of helplessness that breaks you fast without mercy.
Moment after moment, nightmare after nightmare.
If you ever experience fear, I mean genuine fear. You would know that the trauma and the feeling that you can't move because you let your fear takes over you isn't something any human can handle.
After all of that, Tom was thrown into a temple, and written on it was the fruit of immortality. Although all of that was simply an illusion, it was so strong that Tom could not help but fall into it. It wasn't something a mortal or even a strong cultivator could withstand. The illusion made Tom genuinely believe that this fruit was actually a fruit that would grant him immortality.
Walking inside the temple to see the fruit. A peach of unimaginable beauty, its size wasn't that of a regular peach. Its smell didn't smell the same, and once Tom saw it, his beliefs got only stronger.
Tom walked slowly at first, but after he saw the peach, he ran to it with all he had. He didn't mind fighting immortals if he needed to get the peach. But, just when he neared it, it disappeared.
Tom couldn't believe his eyes. His dream, the thing he most desired, disappeared in front of his eyes. He inhaled, then exhaled, inhaled, then exhaled yet again. The core of this trial was the fear of losing your dream and the thought of never getting them back.
Tom's mind was on the verge of breaking. The previous nightmares broke a piece of his mind, but this one might be the straw that breaks the camel's back and, in this case, Tom's mind.
Tom knew once his mind broke, he would fail the trial, and he didn't want to think of the consequences behind that. Not only would he lose his only chance at immortality, but he also might get killed directly.
When Tom was most desperate for hope, he remembered that "If one wishes to destroy his fears, then he only needs to take a step. Fear can't walk. It simply wants to convince you it has control when in reality, it's the deadwood you hold yourself by."
Having this drop of hope helped Tom take the step that he should have taken long ago, walking away from his fear, walking away from his past, and burning the deadwood that might have held him back.
Tom took a step that made him break away from the illusion of fear because fear, at the end of the day, was simply but an illusion. Tom finally succeeded with his second trial as he stood in front of the Fog. Looking back at the fading dark black Fog that made him go through hell and back, Tom said, "I once thought that I was a fearless man, but now I see that I am just as afraid as any other mortal."