Caleb Bizzell and the Three Love-Dovey Liminals A Fairy Tale
by B-MO
Sup Fam! I got bored at work today and decided to try this Fairy tale generator I was recommended by UglyTurnip( he writes DDLC stories. If you're into those, look him up) and thought post this as a JOKE chapter. Enjoy...or don't. Your choice.
Once upon a time there was a Kind Hearted boy called Caleb Bizzell. He was on the way to see his Girlfriend Mirabelle Marequine, when he decided to take a short cut through Cuckholde.
It wasn't long before Caleb got lost. He looked around, but all he could see were trees. Nervously, he felt into his bag for his favourite toy, Rick Sanchez, but Rick Sanchez was nowhere to be found! Caleb began to panic. He felt sure he had packed Rick Sanchez. To make matters worse, he was starting to feel hungry.
Unexpectedly, he saw a Love-Dovey Liminal dressed in a Pink Yoga Pants disappearing into the trees.
"How odd!" thought Caleb.
For the want of anything better to do, he decided to follow the peculiarly dressed Liminal. Perhaps it could tell him the way out of the forest.
Eventually, Caleb reached a clearing. He found himself surrounded by houses made from different sorts of food. There was a house made from Carrots, a house made from Gummi Worms, a house made from Churros and a house made from German Chocolate Cake.
Caleb could feel his tummy rumbling. Looking at the houses did nothing to ease his hunger.
"Hello!" he called. "Is anybody there?"
Nobody replied.
Caleb looked at the roof on the closest house and wondered if it would be rude to eat somebody else's chimney. Obviously it would be impolite to eat a whole house, but perhaps it would be considered acceptable to nibble the odd fixture or lick the odd fitting, in a time of need.
A cackle broke through the air, giving Caleb a fright. A witch jumped into the space in front of the houses. She was carrying a cage. In that cage was Rick Sanchez!
"Rick Sanchez!" shouted Caleb. He turned to the witch. "That's my toy!"
The witch just shrugged.
"Give Rick Sanchez back!" cried Caleb.
"Not on your nelly!" said the witch.
"At least let Rick Sanchez out of that cage!"
Before she could reply, three Love-Dovey Liminals rushed in from a footpath on the other side of the clearing. Caleb recognised the one in the Pink Yoga Pants that he'd seen earlier. The witch seemed to recognise him too.
"Hello Big Liminal," said the witch.
"Good morning." The Liminal noticed Rick Sanchez. "Who is this?"
"That's Rick Sanchez," explained the witch.
"Ooh! Rick Sanchez would look lovely in my house. Give it to me!" demanded the Liminal.
The witch shook her head. "Rick Sanchez is staying with me."
"Um... Excuse me..." Caleb interrupted. "Rick Sanchez lives with me! And not in a cage!"
Big Liminal ignored him. "Is there nothing you'll trade?" he asked the witch.
The witch thought for a moment, then said, "I do like to be entertained. I'll release him to anybody who can eat a whole front door."
Big Liminal looked at the house made from German Chocolate Cake and said, "No problem, I could eat an entire house made from German Chocolate Cake if I wanted to."
"That's nothing," said the next Liminal. "I could eat two houses."
"There's no need to show off," said the witch. Just eat one front door and I'll let you have Rick Sanchez."
Caleb watched, feeling very worried. He didn't want the witch to give Rick Sanchez to Big Liminal. He didn't think Rick Sanchez would like living with a Love-Dovey Liminal, away from his house and all his other toys.
The other two Liminals watched while Big Liminal put on his bib and withdrew a knife and fork from his pocket.
"I'll eat this whole house," said Big Liminal. "Just you watch!"
Big Liminal pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from Gummi Worms. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
Eventually, Big Liminal started to get bigger - just a little bit bigger at first. But after a few more fork-fulls of Gummi Worms, he grew to the size of a large snowball - and he was every bit as round.
"Erm... I don't feel too good," said Big Liminal.
Suddenly, he started to roll. He'd grown so round that he could no longer balance!
"Help!" he cried, as he rolled off down a slope into the forest.
Big Liminal never finished eating the front door made from Gummi Worms and Rick Sanchez remained trapped in the witch's cage.
Average Liminal stepped up, and approached the house made from Churros.
"I'll eat this whole house," said Average Liminal. "Just you watch!"
Average Liminal pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from Churros. She gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
After a while, Average Liminal started to look a little queasy. She grew greener...
...and greener.
A woodcutter walked into the clearing. "What's this bush doing here?" he asked.
"I'm not a bush, I'm a Liminal!" said Average Liminal.
"It talks!" exclaimed the woodcutter. "Those talking bushes are the worst kind. I'd better take it away before somebody gets hurt."
"No! Wait!" cried Average Liminal, as the woodcutter picked her up. But the woodcutter ignored her cries and carried the Liminal away under his arm.
Average Liminal never finished eating the front door made from Churros and Rick Sanchez remained trapped in the witch's cage.
Little Liminal stepped up, and approached the house made from German Chocolate Cake.
"I'll eat this whole house," said Little Liminal. "Just you watch!"
Little Liminal pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from German Chocolate Cake. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
After five or six platefuls, Little Liminal started to fidget uncomfortably on the spot.
He stopped eating German Chocolate Cake for a moment, then grabbed another forkful.
But before he could eat it, there came an almighty roar. A bottom burp louder than a rocket taking off, propelled Little Liminal into the sky.
"Aggghhhhhh!" cried Little Liminal. "I'm scared of heigh..."
Little Liminal was never seen again.
Little Liminal never finished eating the front door made from German Chocolate Cake and Rick Sanchez remained trapped in the witch's cage.
"That's it," said the witch. "I win. I get to keep Rick Sanchez."
"Not so fast," said Caleb. "There is still one front door to go. The front door of the house made from Carrots. And I haven't had a turn yet.
"I don't have to give you a turn!" laughed the witch. "My game. My rules."
The woodcutter's voice carried through the forest. "I think you should give him a chance. It's only fair."
"Fine," said the witch. "But you saw what happened to the Liminals. He won't last long."
"I'll be right back," said Caleb.
"What?" said the witch. "Where's your sense of impatience? I thought you wanted Rick Sanchez back."
Caleb ignored the witch and gathered a hefty pile of sticks. He came back to the clearing and started a small camp fire. Carefully, he broke off a piece of the door of the house made from Carrots and toasted it over the fire. Once it had cooked and cooled just a little, he took a bite. He quickly devoured the whole piece.
Caleb sat down on a nearby log.
"You fail!" cackled the witch. "You were supposed to eat the whole door."
"I haven't finished," explained Caleb. "I am just waiting for my food to go down."
When Caleb's food had digested, he broke off another piece of the door made from Carrots. Once more, he toasted his food over the fire and waited for it to cool just a little. He ate it at a leisurely pace then waited for it to digest.
Eventually, after several sittings, Caleb was down to the final piece of the door made from Carrots. Carefully, he toasted it and allowed it to cool just a little. He finished his final course. Caleb had eaten the entire front door of the house made from Carrots.
The witch stamped her foot angrily. "You must have tricked me!" she said. "I don't reward cheating!"
"I don't think so!" said a voice. It was the woodcutter. He walked back into the clearing, carrying his axe. "This little boy won fair and square. Now hand over Rick Sanchez or I will chop your broomstick in half."
The witch looked horrified. She grabbed her broomstick and placed it behind her. Then, huffing, she opened the door of the cage.
Caleb hurried over and grabbed Rick Sanchez, checking that his favourite toy was all right. Fortunately, Rick Sanchez was unharmed.
Caleb thanked the woodcutter, grabbed a quick souvenir, and hurried on to meet Mirabelle. It was starting to get dark.
When Caleb got to Mirabelle's house, his Girlfriend threw her arms around him.
"I was so worried!" cried Mirabelle. "You are very late."
As Caleb described his day, he could tell that Mirabelle didn't believe him. So he grabbed a napkin from his pocket.
"What's that?" asked Mirabelle.
Caleb unwrapped a doorknob made from Gummi Worms. "Pudding!" he said.
Mirabelle almost fell off her chair.
The End