Me, Petra and Ariza spend the next few days searching through books, papers, documents, basically anything related to running a kingdom. Stuff like finances, taxes, military numbers, all things we might need to get a valid opinion on the situation and how to actually go about things.
Obviously, reading is an impossible task for Petra right now so she's responsible for keeping everything sorted into neat piles and has a similar role of a bookkeeper or clerk in this large study the four of us are currently in. Her memory is really good so she suits that role fine.
I purposely forgot to mention Zeki, he really cannot keep his mind focused enough to read long and boring documents and I agree with his boredom over such a thing, I hate doing this too but even then, sometimes you have to do boring things.
"You lot all done yet?"
He's leaning back on a chair with his legs resting on one of the tables in the library mix study that is in this palace, all the rest of us are scuttered around here also.
"If you want the short answer kid, we're stuck"
The reason being is simple, the elves have a larger fighting force, better equipped soldiers, experienced generals, more motivation, heck, they even use superior tactics. The question is, how has this country managed to survive against such a superior enemy for so long?
We've looked through everything, nothing is missing and everything points to us losing this war. This country would've been screwed if the current route was to continue as it looks.
The country could survive easily enough without the war but the elves will not stop at anything less than complete surrender or destruction on our side, that might get us out since it technically would be ending the war but we don't know if the conditions are ending or winning the war, that's even if we're to assume that's the way out. Surrendering isn't an option, especially when we can use unlimited magicka though.
It sounds like only us four have unlimited magicka in this world so that's good but that still might not be enough to win the war but I'll explain the reason shortly.
"It even says we were the main reason for the war happening. Who starts a war that they know they'll lose?"
Even Ariza understands the situation perfectly, it only seems like Mr obnoxious doesn't seem to understand why this is going to be an issue and is going on about something else now.
"You are kinda the main reason brother, the previous you should've just agreed to the marriage"
Yeah, that seems to be the main reason for us declaring war on the elven country, one of their princes asked for Ariza's hand in marriage and decided they wouldn't take no for an answer so we declared war on them. It's still seems slightly idiotic but none of us four had any choice in the matter since we only just arrived.
"*Sighhh*... this really is troublesome"
"Don't know why you're so stressed orangey, us four can just go full blitzkrieg and blast through their defences"
Blitzkrieg? Does he seriously think something like that will work? Thinking about it... no, absolutely no chance, we don't even know what main location to focus on, the location of the elven capital in unknown to us. We don't even know if they even have a capital.
"That won't work dipshit, we aren't in a World War two simulator. Find the enemy first before you suggest things like that"
"Hey, I'm just trying to help, bird brain"
At least that moves me back onto the issue about us having magicka and how that won't win the war.
It's not like we couldn't win a battle just with our unlimited magicka cheats, the issue is that only two of us can properly fight. Me and Zeki cannot be at every border and every fort at once so some strategy is needed. Ariza is not a fighter and Petra could only fight under really specific circumstances where all the enemy is in one direction and no friendly fire can occur.
Also, the elven tactics are mixed and are similar to guerrilla warfare or how the Germanic tribes used to fight the Romans, that's the only thing I can compare it to if anything. Long story short, they don't use the conventional large army with shield wall approach and prefer more on the shock and awe ambush types of approach used to combat that type of attack. Unfortunately, our stupid country uses the large grouped up force approach.
This also doesn't work since they hold more strength than us in the first place as well, it really would be extremely bleak and depressing if us four didn't hold so much strength in the first place. It is a shame Petra will struggle to fight with us but what can you do about it?
"What are we looking to do then? How do we win this war that orangey is looking so annoyed about?"
Thankfully, Petra answers for me to Mr obnoxious.
"We obviously need to step in and join the battle otherwise things will keep going wrong. You and Ikarus would be suited to front line action, Ariza can provide healing support while I'll handle the logistics and strategy for the rest of army, would like to join the front lines as well but seems like a bad idea with the way these elves fight"
At least it seems Petra is in agreement with my idea even if I didn't have to say it out loud, does she know war strategy though? I really only know bits and pieces from history and a few video games, anything Zeki knows also seems to be from something like that. As for Ariza, I guess her healing comes from magic, not abilities then. Everything Petra seems to do works out well so I'll put faith in her.
"Me and orangey on the frontlines? Hell yeah! It's gonna be a right bloodbath, isn't that right?"
"I'm more than happy to heal, I'd rather not kill if possible"
These two look more than able to be convinced, I'm going to be stuck with Zeki now unfortunately but nothing I can do about it.
"You in agreement Ikarus?"
"Of course, there is a lot to do though, who's going to handle all that mundane crap like that meeting thing from the other day?"
"Can handle all that, don't worry yourself over such things"
Petra says that but we'll still have to make advisors handle things while we're off fighting and doing everything like that, we can't win this war if there's technically nothing else to come home too. Then again, Petra probably could handle everything on her own.
"Fine then, this is going to be time consuming but the sooner we get onto the battlefield, the better. I'll put my full trust in you Petra"
"As will I Ikarus"
Of course, me and Petra can't have a moment with those two.
"Before you two start getting sappy, don't forget that older sis is a man, unless you're into that orangey"
(Ariza) "Uh huh"
Damn that annoying kid, he really doesn't know when to shut it. There was nothing sappy going on there at all and I'm still not into men even with the clusterfuck that's going on right now. I'm definitely going to use him as a human shield when we start fighting.
A king, queen, prince and princess all going onto a battlefield, what could possibly go wrong? It's not exactly like our decision can be overturned by the country, we do have the power and final say over everything here.
Everyone is in agreement but there was something none of us realized, just how long it would actually take to start making serious progress attacking the ambushing tribes of elves. At least we have each other to get us through it... that's dumb.
__________
Six months later...
(Temporary Perspective Change)
"Hel-"
"You stupi-"
Two of my elven brothers are incinerated by the flames of those bastard human royals, we've already lost several dozen brothers and sisters in this last ambush but now it's even more. All tactics are meaningless against these forces.
We could've run into any groups of the opposing forces but it had to be this group of knights, all well as both the pyromaniacs. When the hell do they even fight together? None of us have a single chance now that these two have arrived, maybe one could've been fightable but now everything is ruined.
Could try a lucky arrow but then again, the princess is probably not far behind if those two are both here, every elf knows of the healing properties she possesses.
If we were to come across her, we're under strict orders not to harm a single hair on her body, she heals indiscriminately friend or foe, human or elf. How such a lovely human could come out that cesspit of human scum is unknown to any elf, truly everything could've been saved if she had just married the prince and not been forced hostage by her family.
Should we try surrendering? No, even the thought is shameful, elves are too prideful to be taken hostage by a bunch of inferior species, some of my brothers have already laid down their arms, they are no longer brothers of mine. Scum.
I'm going to try one last attack and see if I can pop an arrow right into the skull of that bastard prince. If I fail, the spirts can have my soul and do what they please, we will defend these forests until out last breath.
"Dirty humans! You will never take me aliv-"
__________
"You stupid fucking pointy eared bastards! We've been looking for you scum for the last several weeks"
"Your highness, the battle is now over, there's no need anymore for such anger"
"Huh? All right"
Zeki can't help but insult the elves after we've sent them to the afterlife, me and him are standing around with our knights after completing the last skirmish in this never-ending forest.
Six months, six bloody months of this, battle after battle killing so many elves and we're still fighting even now. It clearly seems these fountain dungeons have a strong tendency for things like this, I guess being stuck as a queen is a better alternative than stuck as a kid for example but it still is draining being stuck in a world you know probably isn't real. There's only so much entertainment you can get from never ending killing as well.
The elves' tactics have turned even more ambush like now so we've had to resort to searching through forest after forest looking for groups of resistance. Initially, the first groups we first came across we very easy to kill, they didn't expect two human looking phoenixes of unlimited magicka to greet them so the first few battlefields quickly became a boring massacre. They learnt from their mistakes though and adapted even more to these methods.
The thought of burning down the forest to flush them did cross my mind but both sides rely on this large forest for supplies and food, doing something like that would probably lose us support of our own population. Sighhh, damn politics.
If only they used simple military tactics, all of this would've been sorted out so quickly, damn fake elves. At least we have made some progress I guess, there's only so many elves that can be hiding in these gigantic forests that surround their country. Eventually, they'll have to sue for peace and if they don't, then we'll have to kill every last one of them.
There has been too much death though and Zeki still wants more.
"Is that all of those swine that's left? If you tell us where your leaders are, we'll let you die a quick death"
"Kid, we don't kill people that surrender, remember?"
"Urr, fine then"
A few of the remaining elves have surrendered and of course Zeki is threatening them, we still have no idea where the leaders on the elven side even are so his threat might've worked if we hadn't gone done that route already.
It doesn't matter how many questionable methods we've used; the elves do not snitch. Whether it's using nasty methods or using a praise and reward method, the prisoners of war do not snitch on their brethren. Ariza and Petra won't allow us to use full blown torture so we're stuck taking out groups of their forces one by one but that's probably for the best, torture is a war crime after all.
As for the captured elves, they'll be bound and then taken by the group of knights that are alongside us, no point in a queen or prince handling such a mundane task.
At first, the army were completely against the idea of sending two kids and the queen into the frontlines until they actually saw us in action, we've even gained some nicknames.
Zeki holds the beast of blood nickname, Ariza has the angel of life and I hold the shittest, the mad queen. I guess it's not that shit but still, the other two have better nicknames.
I do find it funny how I'm considered the mad one when this kid enjoys inflicting pain and misery on people like it's nothing, it's a good thing we're on the same side otherwise he'd be scary.
The way he acts is different to me with the bandits, I'm literally only looking for EXP and killing criminals is just an added benefit. He truly is a killer at heart, he seriously enjoys such a thing. I wonder if this is the reason why he's a stay-at-home hermit outside the dungeon, maybe he can't control his bloodlust but he still seems able to control it even when we're fighting so it's a little confusing.
We should probably head back now, searching this deep in the forest late at night is suicidal against a foe like these crafty elves, not for us two, just rather not be leading a force of knights to their quick deaths.
"Zeki, we're heading back now, stop eyeing them up. You've killed enough today"
"Fine orangey"
He can't help but the fear of God in those captured elves, guess they deserve it.
'It's time to see Petra once again'
__________
"Ikarus, you're back"
"Alright Petra"
Petra currently has a couple of servants dressing her male body, even out here in this battlefield camp we still have access to servants helping with all our needs. I should probably get mine and take some rest but I want to return back out on patrol as soon as possible, who cares about a little ash and blood on clothes anyway?
Thankfully, she is already clothed in the area that mostly matters so I don't have to avert my eyes from the gigantic snake she has down there.
Yes, I've accidentally seen it, I've somehow seen her male nakedness before witnessing her full female nakedness. I would've been extremely embarrassed if it wasn't for the fact I'm completely jealous, it was close to a full maderaka. Yes, that big if you even know of that measurement, another one of those times I wish I could be male but then again, I still really like this body so it's just a battle of internal conflict. I still think I prefer this body though.
How I even stumbled into such a scenario, you can thank her stupid servants for thinking it would be a good idea to try and make us bathe together. I was told the bathing area of one of the forward camps we had was empty, it was not. By dear God, it was not. My eyes are still permanently scarred, even now.
They still work for us but they won't ever be trying to do something like that again, Petra actually had to calm me down because I did come close to wanting to kill them both. The women currently dressing Petra right now were responsible for such a thing so I still hold dislike towards them even now. They even look fearful when I just take a look in their direction so my threats clearly worked.
As much as I still like Petra, that thing isn't EVER going anywhere near me, you can take that to my grave. Obviously, any potential development between us has been holstered because simply put, there is the issue of a gigantic third leg in the way.
Petra clearly isn't as shallow as me but even then, she has never once called me out on my tastes so I think she can completely understand my reservations at such a situation, she'll still make a tease or a joke out of things so nothing between us has changed on that front.
I do wonder if she's even used... you know what, I'm not thinking about that anymore, my mind needs purging at times, still struggle to get over that.
"How's my wife doing this fine and lovely evening? Looking lovely like usual"
Sometimes Petra's sense of humour can be too much of a wind up, all the servants have heard the weird way we talk to each other so why does she still use wife every now and then?
As for my look, that also must be sarcasm, I've got splatters of blood of battle gear I wear, it's not exactly covered like how Zeki gets it on his armour but still.
There isn't no way anybody with half a brain is going to fight wearing a long heavy dress, trousers are clearly the main way to go even if I'm using magic, the dress I wear outside the dungeon is short so I was just looking for a little bit of a change inside here. Ariza still wears a dress looking outfit but she's mostly just behind the front lines obviously healing our fallen soldiers and helps us on occasion, me and Zeki have both taken the occasional stray arrow and relied on her for help.
"Cut it out, got some news to report"
"You two can leave me and Ikarus then"
Both the servants have now dressed Petra and leave me and her alone in the tent, the guards are outside so we're more than safe right now.
"Me and Zeki have cleared out the last remaining resistance in the darkest parts of that blasted forest, there might still be the odd elf or two scattered about but we've already spent a month in that part alone"
"Good, that's covers off any potential ambush from the right flank then"
Her strategy calls leading the country's forces have proven more than excellent saving hundred, maybe even thousands of lives, she really has taken the mantle of army leader well. I don't actually think she enjoys it all that much but everyone has to play their part in escaping this dungeon.
"So... what's next then? When are we heading even further?"
"Patience Ikarus, you'll die of exhaustion if you rush too far ahead"
Sometimes I do feel like she is being a little overly cautious though, I think it's more she fears for our safety so me and Zeki aren't allowed to fight for too long, I still fully trust her instincts though.
She has the role of leader, I'm just the mad warmongering queen. If she says I shouldn't do something, then she's probably right. I should rest tonight then.
"Have you eaten yet or have you spent all day fighting again?"
"..."
Of course, I have no answer to that. There's no time to eat when there's elves that need killing or capturing, time is of the essence.
"Thought so, that's why made something in advance"
She pulls out a lunch box and puts on the main table in her large tent. I open it up and immediately get surprised, there's no way the servants made this.
"Wait, you made that? Why just not get the servants to do it?"
It literally looks like the style of an anime bento box, there's fish, rice, egg, sliced meat, tomato... she's actually made this for me?
"Had some free time, don't think anything of it"
Damn, they always say the way to a man's heart is through their stomach... wait, that isn't what this is, is it?
"If you're looking to win my heart or something, this won't work especially right now"
"Heh Ikarus, I'm in the body of a male and you also share the mind of a male, this isn't anything like that"
She seems genuine at the very least, might as well tuck in anyway.
"Thanks anyway... itadakimasu!"
Just as I'm about to pick up and use the fork in the lunchbox, a messenger busts through the tent. This must be important otherwise he wouldn't have been allowed in.
"Your majesty, an elven messenger has arrived at our camp"
Damn it, every time I want to relax and eat...