I sat in the backseat of the middle SUV that one of the Knights put me in. I stared out the tinted window at the front door of Lucas' mansion. Not knowing what was taking Viktor so long was not my issue, the fact that I was stuck here, waiting for him was.
I mean, since I was going for the dramatic exit, the least he could have done was follow me. Sitting just outside after a temper tantrum was just as embarrassing as having to enter the room after slamming the door.
*cough* Not that I have ever done that, you understand… I was just talking in theory.
Anyways… I was stuck here, replaying the whole conversation in my head and kicking myself in the ass. How on earth was I supposed to kill a wolf without knowing who he or she was!?! What was I thinking?!?
I think that might have been a little bit of my problem, I wasn't thinking. The words just appeared in my mind and I spoke them out loud and *bang* here we are… sitting in a Van Helsing car like a 5-year-old that was put on a timeout.
The pout on my face really didn't help the mature look that I was going for.
But maybe I should take this time to reflect on what actually happened because something sure as hell did.
The words I spoke to Vlad and Lucas felt right, and the feeling I got, no matter how fleeting… I can't describe it.
To say that it felt like something unfurling inside me wouldn't be right, I wasn't scared, or intimidated…I felt like I had finally found the place where I belonged.
Maybe it was because I had been running from this perceived darkness all my life that I was, in fact, denying something that was part of me.
Out of everyone in my family, the countless generations that came before me, there was only one other Ribbon Girl, the one that started my line. So why did the power choose me over the others?
When I got back home I would have to take a look at myself and see the truth where I had refused to see it before.
I wanted to be stronger, I needed to be stronger… but if I thought Van Helsing could teach me that… I was wrong.
I had been a police officer since 1844 in some form or other. In fact, I was mostly having to pretend to be a man in order to be hired by the townspeople.
Mother told me that I was a monster, that I couldn't be left to myself and I had to protect the humans from the other monsters because only I could. But we all know that Mother was not going to win any awards for being the world's greatest mom.
I closed my eyes and leaned the side of my head against the cold glass. I was a police officer, a human police officer, but that never seemed to save me.
I have spent weeks in the past hanging from warehouses until the bad guys got bored. Although being a police officer taught me how to fight, I never learned to save myself. I was always passive, never hurting anyone, never truly fighting back.
Maybe it was time to turn that around.
The sound of the door opening startled me out of my thoughts and I opened my eyes to see Van Helsing looking at me.
"Did you know that I used to watch Nicholas and Vlad running around and playing, you following after them like a shadow that never went away?" He asked, closing the door behind him as he got himself comfortable.
Some unseen gesture or unheard sound started the convoy, but I was too emerged in what he was saying to really pay attention to the outside world.
"You were? I never saw you. I was always told that as the Count's son, you had too many responsibilities to visit a band of Gypsies that traveled all over the place," I replied, completely intrigued by this conversation.
Out of the six families, I knew Vlad the best. His father was a mercenary, and his mother was dead so he spent all of his time, when he wasn't training, with my family. I knew him as well as I had known any of my blood siblings. And, since his father was gone all of the time, he might as well have been.
I had heard about the Monstru, and I had even seen one or two of them on occasion. They were simple people, never really talking or causing fights. They just did their own thing and left everyone alone.
The Skinwalkers were the ones that mothers told their children stories about so they would behave. I had never met one in person, or at least, not to my knowledge. After all, they could have been standing right beside me and I never would have known.
Lucas' family looked after the hunting dogs and was a close-knit group. Although he hung out with Vlad and Nick on occasion, I really had no interactions with him.
Now, Viktor… Viktor was what every man in our town wanted to be and every girl wanted to be with. I swear, even my sister had a crush on Viktor. But how could you not? Well, everyone but me. I was too focused on Vlad to notice anyone or anything else.
"Yes," he said, once again preventing my mind from wandering. "I would watch you three from my study window some days. I remember being incredibly jealous of Nicholas and Vlad for being able to run around, for being free in a way that every boy dreamed of being free."
"You weren't free?" I asked, dreading that I was about to rip the scab off a bloody wound.
"I was a Von Dracula, I knew my role since the time I could talk. Partaking in non-educational things was simply a waste of time."
I reached over and took his hand in mine. I could understand the desire to do what it was that everyone else was doing. I understood the hatred of being different
"I would have liked to play with you," I said with a smile on my face."But let's face it, Elena would have tried to steal all of your attention, and I would have been just as invisible to you as I was to Vald."
"You are many things, Little Cub… invisible is not one of them," he chuckled and took his hand back. Looking forward, he made it clear that the conversation was over. But that was fine.
The spiral that was my brain had finally come to a rest and I was relaxed once again.