Just how big is this place?
I am starting to lose my breath just by walking along the long corridors and entering numerous rooms.
I need a suitcase, Damnit!
I searched Mordred's memories about the Dawn Palace.
It was a gift to Morgause from the High King and is one of the largest buildings in the capital.
The corridors' walls facing outside are made up of something called electrochromic glass that can be made opaque by the simple push of a button.
During sunrise, the glass and exterior walls reflect the light, making the whole building glow under the morning sun, hence why it is called the Dawn Palace.
The interior is quite simple with pearl white walls decorated with paintings and framed photographs at several intervals and the ceiling embedded with light panels of different designs.
The lights can give out a variety of colors and they also respond to sound. There are a few chandeliers hung from the spaces between the light panels but they are mostly for decoration.
The interior temperature of the entire palace is maintained at all times by air conditioners using ardor to maintain a comfortable temperature.
What kind of sorcery is this?
The huge entrance hall leads to a massive atrium ringed by interior balconies of the upper floors. A massive transparent circular dome made up of electrochromic glass controlled the amount of sunlight shining on the atrium.
The ground level of the atrium is surrounded by a lush garden and a fountain on one side.
Two huge staircases spiraled around a massive glass and steel pillar containing two elevators in the middle of the atrium. Wide skywalks radiated from the central pillar to the upper floors.
There are about five floors in the Dawn Palace, including the ground floor and they are massive!
I am breath taken by the splendor and size of the Dawn Palace. Arthur went all out in making this place. He must've loved Morgause very much.
Wish he had given even a small amount of that love to Mordred.
Mordred had lived in this huge palace all his life and he spent most of his time in his room, the library, or in the huge garden surrounding the palace.
I understand why. This building is freaking huge! I would get lost!
If the Dawn Palace is this impressive. I don't want to imagine how the Royal Palace would be. I am kind of glad Mordred is not allowed in there.
As I passed the many doors along the corridor, I noticed that this place was not well maintained. The paintings have a layer of dust on them, the light panels flickered and some were dislodged from the ceiling.
Even a chandelier was hanging at quite a precarious angle. I can also feel the temperature control being a bit wack. It is too cold for my taste.
The pearl white paint is fading and getting dirty and there are a lot of cobwebs everywhere. The cleanest and tidiest rooms in the Dawn Palace were mine, the servants' quarters, and the servants' lounge.
After a few minutes of walking, I reached the central atrium.
"Goodness. What were those idiots even doing?", I frowned as I looked around.
The beautiful garden that used to be the greatest attraction of the atrium is overgrown and covered with weeds.
The fountain has stopped working and some places are reminiscent of the dense and undiscovered woods in my past world.
"Hmm.", I have to get a suitcase but there is something here that I should see first.
I pushed past the dense vegetation and reached the end of the atrium behind the central pillar.
There, on the far wall hung a huge portrait. The overgrown plants and arlants didn't cover it but grew around it to form a natural frame of greenery.
It was as if they found the picture too beautiful to be covered.
I stopped and gazed at the huge portrait of my mother, Morgause.
It felt like looking at a goddess of war.
Her sparkling emerald eyes seem like they can gaze right into your soul and the mischievous smile on her ethereal face makes you wonder if she had a prank ready for you.
The sleek black armor she wore under a long black overcoat coat showed her graceful and athletic slim figure and her long white hair almost glowed.
Her face radiated confidence and serenity so much it could brighten up any gloomy atmosphere and give one hope.
I can't help but be entranced by her beauty and grace. The way she held her black sword with confidence, the way she looked at the camera, and the way she stood for the photo.
Everything was perfect about her.
I reached my hand out to the photo. The only things Mordred had in common with Morgause were her white hair and beautiful face. He wasn't strong or confident.
In my past life, the first time I saw my mother was when I turned eleven. Despite knowing about my origins, she was never disgusted by my existence.
I still remember her tears of happiness falling on my face as she hugged me.
I too, was overjoyed to see her and felt the love of a mother.
I should've known it was not for long.
One day, she told me the truth about my birth. I can't describe how disgusted I was at myself and angry at my father.
I remember storming out of the room that day.
Now that I think of it, her telling me the truth was inevitable. And that was the last time I saw her alive.
During the night, she was brutally killed in her sleep by a knight who later turned out to be Gaheris, one of the sons she had with her husband, King Lot.
He had killed her right when she believed she finally found happiness.
I was devastated when I learned of her death and later on in my life, I hunted down the bastard who killed her.
I showed no mercy when I hunted him down. If Gawain hadn't stopped me, I would've beheaded the mongrel with my sword.
But I was not the only one affected by her murder.
The king was enraged at Gaheris and banished him from the kingdom. I didn't kill him but I made sure his remaining life was hell.
I gave him nightmares that haunted him till his death.
When I lay dying on the crimson ground of Camlann, I thought of my mother. Our encounter may have been brief but the days I spent with her were the best ones I ever had.
The Mordred of this world, unfortunately, lost his mother before he even knew her. In this world, Morgause died peacefully after giving birth to Mordred.
I looked at her portrait. Looks like Morgause lived a good life in this world. It was a tragedy she wasn't able to see her son grow up.
And now the son she gave birth to is dead and someone like me has taken over his body. A certain mix of feelings swirled in me as I looked at my mother in another world.
"I am sorry Morgause. Your son was a kind child but he is now gone, I don't know if I will be able to live in his stead. I hope you and Mordred have reunited up there and please watch over me."
I said these words as I gazed into those bright green eyes, full of life and cockiness.
"What in the name of the Incarni are you talking about?", a familiar voice suddenly asked behind me.
I yelped and jumped in surprise, "What the heck, Merlin?!"
The warlock was standing right behind me as if she just appeared from thin air.
She didn't hear what I just said. Right?
I hope so.
But judging by her expression I'm afraid that is the case.
Merlin was about to ask me a question but seeing my panicked face she sighed, "Fine. I'll not pry."
She raised an eyebrow and crossed her hands, "But what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be packing up?"
I rubbed my head, "Yeah, about that. I was searching for a suitcase when I saw the photograph of Mum."
Merlin was a little confused but when she laid eyes on the photograph of Morguase, her expression softened.
"Yeah. I can understand. You look like her."
"You knew her?", I asked.
Merlin nodded, "She was one of my best friends and a greater prankster than me. She was the best Spiker in the kingdom and was a very amazing person."
"And I have disgraced her legacy. I am such a weakling.", I scoffed at myself.
"Well. That is true but who knows, maybe you'll emerge as a stronger person after three years in the north.", she shrugged and gave me a meaningful look.
I glanced at her, "You must be hoping I will die."
Merlin just stared at me. She didn't even try to avoid her gaze but I can see guilt and pity hidden well behind the ever-changing colors of her irises.
"To be honest. That is what I want to happen.", she tilted her head, "I believe you are aware of my future vision?"
I nodded, "Yes. You've made several predictions and prophecies."
She nodded back, "You're correct. One of those concerns you."
"Oh?", I pretended to be surprised.
Merlin noticed my act but ignored it, "I'm going to be straight with you. I saw the future where you destroy Arthur's kingdom."
I didn't speak a word and just stared at her. Of course, I know that. I already destroyed Arthur Pendragon's kingdom in my past life.
I took a deep breath, "I understand where you are going, Merlin."
She was surprised by my calm response, "This was unexpected."
I shrugged, "Isn't that why I was confined to the Dawn Palace all my life? His Majesty can monitor the potential danger closely."
"But ignoring me and making my life hard is a sure way to make the prophecy come true. And now he's sending me to fight against the Tear. Wouldn't that result in the creation of the monster he fears if I survive?"
Her expression wavered and avoided my gaze, "Isolating you was my idea. By the time I realized my mistake, it was too late."
"At first I wanted to kill you soon after you were born but Arthur vehemently opposed my decision."
A shudder passed through her body, "That was the first time I had ever felt his full anger."
I was surprised. In my past life, my father was very keen on killing me, such that he collected all the newborn children of the land born in May, put them in a ship, and sank it, killing many innocent lives.
I was among them but I survived and was rescued by a fisherman and his wife. They were the ones who raised me until the age of eleven.
I learned about the May Day Massacre and realized that they died because of me. One of the reasons why I hated Arthur was because of the innocent children he cold-heartedly killed in an attempt to escape the prophecy.
In the battle of Camlann, the weight of the children was on my sword as it clashed with Arthur's mighty Excalibur.
But Arthur only implemented the massacre. The mastermind for it was Merlin. He was the one who put the idea in the king's mind.
In that sense, the Merlin of this world seemed to be the better one. At least she didn't kill innocent and even if she wished, the Arthur of this world wouldn't have allowed it.
Merlin was still speaking, "At that moment, I proposed the idea to confine you to the Dawn Palace and to keep an eye on you. I thought that when your powers awakened, I would be able to mold you into someone who will not cause the destruction of the Kingdom."
Her eyes were downcast, "I never thought that you would be weak, and for Arthur who wished for his children to be strong, to ignore you."
"Morgan's indifference, Elaine's bullying, and your confinement within the compound, all of them were a result of that decision I took on the day you were born."
"You deserve a better life, Mordred. But because of me, it's gone. I regret not killing you back then. If I had, you wouldn't have to suffer this much."
I clenched my fist in anger and glared at her but I couldn't help but agree with her. If Mordred hadn't been born, if he was killed, then he wouldn't had to suffer like this.
Even in my past life, I wondered this. If I was never born, things would've been very different.
Merlin smiled bitterly and touched her eye, "Many say seeing the future is a blessing. But I say it's a curse, one that will destroy the ones I care about."
"Everything I did and will do is for my dear friend, Arthur, one of the few people who never saw me as an abomination."
She looked at me, "You must never forgive me, Mordred. Despise me. But if you survive the coming three years, I swear on my life that you will have my support."
My eye twitched with anger. How can she say that after ruining the short life of a kid? Because of her bad choices, the previous Mordred is dead and I am suffering as well.
I glared at her, "I don't need your help, Merlin. You've done more than enough."
I turned away from her and was about to continue to look for a suitcase when she suddenly grabbed my shoulder.
Annoyed, I looked back and froze.
Merlin's eyes were desperate.
"Please Mordred.", she pleaded, "I have made so many mistakes and the regrets are pulling me into despair and insanity. Please let me do the right thing for once."
I looked at her. Those were the eyes of a person who made a lifetime of mistakes and is on the verge of plunging into despair.
I recognize that look, that desperation. I used to see that very expression in the mirror during my previous life.
I narrowed my eyes, "If your eyes cause you this much misery. Wouldn't it be better to take them out?"
There is no way a person would blind themselves willingly. The sense of sight is precious after all.
But she just laughed, "You think I haven't tried that?"
No way.
I stared at her in shock, "You blinded yourself?"
She nodded with self-loathing, "One day I got tired of the visions. They were driving me crazy."
She glanced at her hand, "So I grabbed a pen from my desk and, well. It was quite bloody and painful but the visions stopped."
Her expression darkened, "But only for a moment."
"Hearing my screams, my assistant barged into my room and found me slumped in my chair, my eyes fully regenerated."
I grimaced. It must've been quite nasty.
She looked at her hands in disgust, "That was when I realized that I became something akin to an immortal being."
"I've become like him.", she said so quietly that I barely heard it.
Interesting. A mysterious person who seems to be immortal.
Weirdly, the image of the blue-eyed wizard popped up in my mind.
I observed Merlin's expression. The hatred she has for herself and her immortality is quite evident on her beautiful face.
She is the one who ruined Mordred's life but she is already suffering from her actions. Living forever and being haunted by one's regrets and demons is a cruel fate.
Even a heinous villain like me can see that it is too much for a single person.
I sighed, "Fine. I'll accept your offer. You better not regret it."
Merlin smiled after hearing my answer. She shrugged.
"It's fine. My life is full of regrets."