Heavy.
Every step felt heavy as I moved down the supermarket aisle.
Rows upon rows of goods were presented before my very eyes as I just randomly picked up whatever snack I could find and threw it on the cart.
It was mainly for the girls who were probably dealing with a lot of stress.
How could they not be under a lot of stress with the situation that was going on?
"Haa."
I was just as stressed as them.
Like an addict, I found myself constantly checking my phone, eagerly awaiting for Dean to message me.
Ah.
Just when was he going to text me?
That was all I needed to hear at the moment.
"There's fifteen minutes left, I better hurry."
Checking my watch, I hurried to the counter, but not before picking up several packs of familiar candy. It had basically become a habit by now.
Knowing that it was all that I saw Sarah eat, I just bought them whenever I saw them. But most surprising was the fact that she wasn't actually addicted to candy.
She just seemed to like this specific brand for some reason.
Whenever I tried buying her other brands, she'd politely refuse me.
"Thank you for your purchase. Have a good day."
"Thank you."
Drip. Drip.
It was drizzling outside.
The sky donned a somber gray, casting a moody ambiance all around. It perfectly reflected my inner feelings.
Taking out my phone and checking for the 'nth' time, I released a long sigh.
"Haa... Still nothing. Just when exactly is he going to te—hm?"
My feet came to a sudden stop as I felt a slight tug of my coat. Unknowingly, the rain that had been pouring down from the sky just moments prior had disappeared.
"How may I help you...?"
I lowered my gaze, and two hazel eyes blinked back at me. Before me, an expressionless little girl stood, her clothing appearing quite tattered. She also seemed on the skinnier side as her clothing seemed rather loose.
Without answering, her gaze wandered over the bag in my hand.
"Are you hungry?"
Nod. Nod.
Thinking for a moment, I opened the bag and took out the first thing I could grab.
"Ah."
But that thing turned out to be the one thing I couldn't exactly give away.
Sarah's candy.
"Hmm, I can't give you this, how ab..."
I stopped myself from speaking. Staring at the pack, the little girl was already salivating. Alternating her gaze between me and the pack of candy, she rubbed the corner of her mouth.
"Take it."
'Whatever, it's the company's money anyway.'
They could afford this little loss.
With visible sparkles in her eyes, the little girl took the pack of candy from my hand.
"Let me help."
Seeing her struggle to open the pack, I offered her a hand.
"Here."
Num. Num.
She dove right into the pack and for some reason, her image overlapped with Sarah's. Of course, she was obviously not Sarah. The girl before me looked to be eight or nine years old while Sarah was already twenty-two.
However, the twinkle that appeared in her otherwise lost eyes and the way she was devouring the candy so eagerly made me think of her.
"Tha...nk you."
She spoke for the first time. Her voice was brittle.
"Does it taste good?"
"Mhm."
"Here, clean your hands with this."
"...?"
"It's not good if you eat with your hands dirty."
Before I knew it, I was cleaning her hands with a tissue. A habit I'd developed back at the orphanage.
In fact, this scene reminded me a little of my siblings.
How were they doing?
It had been a while since I last visited them.
'Maybe I should go and see them when I have time.'
I raised my head and looked around.
"... Where are your parents?"
The street was empty with just the two of us standing.
Mhh... now that I took a closer look, this area seemed rather unfamiliar. Wait, this doesn't even look like Sun Island. The infrastructure here was quite poor, unlike the usual bustle that was prominent in Sun Island.
'How in the world did I manage to wander all the way over here...?'
"Parents?"
"Yes, mom and dad. Where are they?"
"H... home."
The young girl replied in a hushed tone. As if she suddenly remembered something, her hand, which was digging the pack of candy suddenly stopped.
"I go."
"You're leaving?"
"Um."
"Wait."
I grabbed her hand before she could leave.
Looking around me and checking my watch, I spoke,
"Let me come with you."
The area looked unsafe. For an eight to nine-year-old girl to roam around like this all alone didn't sit well with me. But besides that. There was something about the little girl that bugged me.
I wasn't exactly sure what it was, but a part of me refused to leave her alone.
She reminded me too much of a certain someone.
So I decided to accompany her on the way back.
"Oh, right."
I looked at the little girl who was tightly holding onto the pack of candy as if it were her most prized treasure.
"What's your name?"
"..."
The girl blinked her eyes and raised her head. Her face, which seemed expressionless, showed a slight change as if she had rediscovered a hint of feeling.
Her response came shortly after.
"Sarah... My name is Sarah."
***
His face was scary, but he was kind.
He gave Sarah candy, so he must be a good man.
A strange but kind man.
Creaaak—!
Her little hands pushed the familiar door leading up to her house. The door opened like it was welcoming her with open arms.
"Oh, you're back Sarah?"
A warm and gentle voice greeted her at the entrance of her house.
The room was bright. It was flooded with brightness as the sun's rays poured in through the large windows, making it difficult to see ahead.
It was so bright she could hardly make out her mother's features.
"Mom."
A familiar warmth embraced her as she felt her mother's hug.
"Have you had fun playing around? Did you enjoy yourself?"
"Mhm."
Sarah brought forth the pack of candy she received from the strange but kind man.
"Oh, what's this?"
"Food."
Her small hand squeezed the pack of candy.
So delicious.
"...And who gave you this?"
"Him."
Sarah pointed at the strange but kind man. He was still standing by the door.
"Oh, my."
As if realizing that someone was standing at the door, her mother made a surprised look.
"How rude of me. Please come on in. Come in."
"..."
But the man didn't move and just stood where he was. His expression was scary.
He only snapped out of it when Sarah tugged his clothes.
"Mama said to come in."
"Oh."
The floor creaked under his step.
"Please, come and sit here. We don't have much, but I hope you find yourself comfortable, and thank you very much for helping Sarah."
"Sit there."
Sarah pointed toward the living room table.
With a nod, the strange but kind man sat on one of the chairs around the table.
"One for you, and one for you."
Sarah placed two candies on the table.
One for the strange but kind man and the other for her. The rest was for her mother and father. Satisfied, she patted her hands which were glittering with sugar.
"Mommy, when will Dad come out?"
Sarah's gaze wandered over a certain door.
It was the door that led to her father's room.
Her dad was there, but she wasn't allowed to enter.
'No matter what, you mustn't enter the room,' he said to her.
"Your dad will join us later. Eat your food for now."
"Um."
When the topic of food came up once more, her gaze shifted away from the door, returning to focus on the candy.
"Eat. Eat."
She devoured the candy.
So sweet. So tasty.
But that was when she noticed something.
"Why you... no, eat?"
"I... I've already eaten enough."
The man pushed his candy toward her.
"You eat it."
Blink.
Sarah blinked her eyes.
She could eat it?
Staring at the man to make sure he wasn't lying to her, only after seeing him nod did Sarah happily eat the candy.
What bliss.
Creaaak—!
Hearing a familiar creaking sound, Sarah turned her head to see a tall figure walk in.
"Daddy!"
She spent no time running to the man.
"Ho, ho. There's my little princess."
"Hehehe."
Giggling, Sarah hugged her father tightly.
"What have you been up to, Sarah?"
"Eating."
"Oh? What are you eating?"
"Candy. Very delicious. I gave it to Mom too."
"Mhhh."
Her dad suddenly went quiet.
"Dad?"
"...Sarah."
In the gentlest voice he could muster, he spoke to her.
"Your mom..."
"Yes?"
She was in the living room.
"She's... in a faraway place. It's been a year now. I need you to realize this."
Blink.
The brightness that was engulfing the room started to dim.
Slowly, the surroundings started to turn dark.
"I know you miss your mom. I miss her too. More than you can imagine, but..."
Rotten walls. Broken windows. Mold. The house's true appearance started to reveal itself.
"...you need to move on. You will eventually see her. It's just that... the time isn't right yet. There will be a time when you will see her again. It's a promise."
Sarah cocked her head as she stared at her father.
Despite the light dimming, it was still difficult for her to see his features.
"But dad..."
Blink.
The brightness dimmed once more, and her gaze wandered over a certain room.
"...Will I also see you again? You still haven't left your room."
Blink.
The brightness disappeared completely.
What remained was an eerie silence as the girl stood alone in the darkness.
Just her.
And herself.
.
.
.
.
'Just what is this...?'
Rather than being shocked... I just didn't know how to react. How was I supposed to react to this?
The dilapidated walls, the pervasive mold, the cracks zigzagging across the walls, and the lingering scent of decay filling the space...
I clenched my teeth.
'Just what is this?'
How could anyone live in such conditions?
And...
"...Will I also see you again? You still haven't left your room."
I got up from my seat and walked up to Sarah.
My gaze fell on the door she was looking at.
"Is that where your father is?"
"Um. He's busy working."
"How long has he been working?"
"Hmm."
Placing her finger near her mouth, she pondered.
"A long time?"
"Do you know how long exactly?"
"No."
She shook her head.
"When mom left, he said that he suddenly had a lot of work to do."
"Ah."
My heart clenched.
"Are you happy?"
"Yes."
She nodded immediately.
But the more she was like that the more my heart squeezed.
"So... why aren't you smiling?"
Sarah raised her head. I thought that she had always been expressionless, but now that I got a closer look at her. She seemed more like an empty shell than just expressionless.
"Smile?"
"Like this."
I tugged the corners of my lips up with the aid of my fingers.
"Eh...?"
Imitating me, she tugged the corners of her mouth.
"Like this?"
"Like that."
I held out my hand to her.
"Do you want me to bring you somewhere nice?"
"But..."
Her gaze wandered over to a certain room. Trying my best to keep myself calm, I opened my palm.
"Let's not disturb your dad for now. Maybe, when you return, he'll be out of the room."
"Really?"
"Really."
My heart gripped even more tightly. I felt like shit for lying to a child, but I couldn't bear to tell her the truth either.
I was a piece of shit regardless of what choice I made.
But that didn't matter to me. At the moment I only had one thought.
I needed to bring her back with me.
She couldn't stay here any longer.
"Mister."
I felt something grasp my hand as my head lowered. Sarah was looking up at me, her large hazel eyes blinking.
"Yes?"
"...Thank you."
And it suddenly got bright.
"Thank you for being kind to me."
All of a sudden my hand felt empty as the world turned bright.
I stood by myself in an endless light.
"..."
Just me.
And myself.