Safely on the yacht, leaving in the memory of a bad adventure because of the mysterious sea currents, after I left comforted by my friend Liz, who cleaned my wounds, I decided to go to the bathroom to remove the sweat of fear and try to rinse those bitter memories mixed with the sweet kisses that raised my desire.
I don't understand why humans had to complicate everything, because we cannot succumb to our passions without being afraid of what people will say or leave a bad impression, even more, complicated for women, if we take the initiative we are in danger of passing as easy girl and no guy will want to marry a tramp or there is the other extreme that if we do nothing our man can go with another one that will secure it by giving him what he wants; An old woman said that men only want us for the bed, it may be somewhat true, what happens is that if the loved one does not provoke desire or desire is not satiated, that would be like a brotherly relationship, but not a couple, another thing is those who only like a bird that eats and flies.
I go into the bathroom, I take off that uncomfortable wetsuit that I will surely throw away, I open the shower and the cold water makes me erase the image of Angelo, everything is fine until the door opens because I forgot to lock it, it's him, he pretends to be embarrassed, slowly covering his eyes, at the same time that I cover my special areas, although I can surely see everything, I block myself, my mind is disconnected, while he thought he was in a good mood and also enters without clothes to take a bath with me, telling me,
"I've been needing someone to rub my back for a while; it's very difficult to do it well on my own."
I wanted to rub it, for a moment I see him and I imagine giving free rein to my desires, I contemplated him imagining being in his arms, but cowardice wins me, I am not capable, I am afraid, so I better leave wrapped in the towel, although I still have soap on my body, he tells me,
"Wait, don't leave; come, I will bathe you well."
I turn around, shouting at him,
"Don't assume I'm just anyone, respect me. You can't get into a girl's bathroom without her permission; that makes you a pervert."
I run to my room, when I enter I slip because in the confusion I ran away barefoot, I went face first, luckily Liz who was waiting for me there thirsty for gossip, she caught me, telling me,
"I was so weak and dizzy that they left you."
I comforted her by hugging her and replying,
"No, I was very upset that he invaded my privacy."
"I assumed that your relationship was already going to another level," she tells me with her friend's curiosity, I choose my words to answer her,
"I don't think he is capable; I love him; it's just that I feel he has something strange about him; it's as if I already know him, and besides, I have in my head what about my companies and those attacks; I feel I'm going to suffocate, I don't have time to be in a romance."
"I don't believe you, I know you well, you're afraid, you're afraid of falling in love," Liz tells me, hitting the nail on the head, forcing me to answer her with sincerity,
"Yes, it's true; I'm afraid, not only because I've never been with a real man, but also because bad things happen to the people I love, I don't deserve this."
She hugs me, my best friend, almost my sister, faithful and correct, she kisses me on the forehead and tells me,
"Get over it, leave the past behind, take off your traumas, like an old dress, throw them under your feet, step on them like cockroaches, turn them to dust, and by the way, I brought you a souvenir that can help you," she hands me a mysterious box and leaves smiling.
Curiosity overcomes me uncovering that gift; it turns out that it is full of strange things: some balls joined together; a little tube that, when I took it without wanting to activate it, started to vibrate; I screamed and threw it against the wall; I continued seeing that series of colored tubes; underwear that does not cover anything; masks; handcuffs; I think it must be to kidnap him; it can't be! I don't need this; I see a large object, I examine it with both hands, and I deduce that it is like a phallus made of silicone; it smells good, and my curiosity forces me to bring it close to my nose, and precisely Angelo enters, alerted by my scream, being surprised by these artifacts that I clumsily try to hide under the blankets, feeling my face burn with shame; I look at myself in the mirror of the room, seeing myself as red as a tomato; what will he think? That I am a nymphomaniac who feigns shyness, that I am the personification of the prude, I lower my eyes, wanting to hide my shame, and I see a whip that is on the floor, I'm trying to kick him under the bed, I slip again, tangling myself in the towel, falling this time into his strong arms, and again naked, I feel with my breasts the hairs of his pectorals. Angelo is also wrapped in a small towel that only covers his hips, I look at him going over it like a flash, I see how that towel threatens to fly away, shame wins me, I wanted to faint, I wish the yacht would open and swallow me up by the sea, I bend down covering myself, awkwardly looking for the towel, wanting to hide what he already saw several times, I find it at last, but because Angelo reaches it to me, he only tells me,
"Let's go to dinner; come down in five minutes."
I wanted to grab him by an impulse of unconsciousness, and when I took a few steps I slipped with one of those toys, it can not be today I have the clumsiness bounced, although this time guided by my screams he turned around while I fall on him making him lose his balance, and unintentionally I tear the towel trying to grab i not to fall, resulting in both of us lying down, naked what a horror, me on top, we laugh, first nervously and then for real, his laugh I love it, I feel his breath, and it is as if he sends me electric rays that turn me on and magnetic that attract me to his lips, in an uncontrolled way we kiss, our lips again caress each other trying to merge, to taste each other, fighting with bites, begging to be one.
Likewise, I wished that instant would last forever, I did not want to let things go up a level, although Angelo tried several times, I prevented him, I still did not feel capable, I needed time, and I do not know how much, maybe until I am an old woman that to kiss him I have to take off my tooth box, thus avoiding the problem of unintentionally biting him, I was sure that Angelo would not have the patience to wait for it, he would surely sleep with thousands of women when he returned from the walk, unburdening his desires in other bodies, perhaps imagining my face, remembering my kisses, he would look for one with a body similar to mine, one with my complexion, after all, he would return to Colombia, where beautiful women abound.
I kept kissing him, trying to control myself not to succumb to his desires, I remembered Liz's advice, and in my mind again, I accepted him, after all, what could I expect that a beautiful millionaire boy would wait to have sex until after marriage? And what would he think when he found out that the one he waited so long for was married and moreover she was not a virgin because according to her, she was raped by her uncle who is an old man with a kind face, they might think that it is a lie like those who say they lost their virginity because of a fall, or that they got pregnant in a pool or sitting in a public bath; the memory of my disgusting uncle cuts me off, I decided to stop, I push him away seeing his face of anguish, despair, and bewilderment, making the face of a little boy about to make a tantrum he tells me,
"Don't be mean; come on, I won't hurt you, don't leave me like this."
I see him and my throat fills with sighs, maybe I should throw myself headlong into his game, it must be like when I go to the dentistry, close my eyes waiting for it to pass quickly, remaining with the satisfaction that it already happened, I feel like in the cartoons in those parts that the doll appears on his shoulder a small angel that exhorts him to act well and in the other comes out of a dark cloud, but what a sin it can be to be with that man that I desire so much, maybe I was only repressing myself guided by archaic customs invented to avoid the proliferation of creatures without parents or diseases, I was being a philosopher instead of bringing out my scientific side, my wild side and experimenting, giving myself completely to him, body and soul, more body than soul, then I bit my lips in a symbol of breaking my limitations and I threw myself overboard throwing my traumas, I kissed him filling him with astonishment that became pleasure, I felt that his hands wanted to make a map on my skin with a path that went to my interior, this time I did not stop him let him do with me what he wanted, at this moment I would be his woman and he would be my male.