* * *
After all, I spent the whole night in the house that day.
To stay up all night in a house where a woman lives alone. It would be a big deal if someone heard it, but there was nothing romantic about it.
All I did all night was cleaning and packing up.
Most of the contents of the cardboard box were movers. I don't know how long it's been piling up, but I think I brought it when I moved in and left it alone until now.
I opened all the boxes and organized as much stuff as I could.
After cleaning, the remaining boxes were piled up in the recycling bin at the emergency exit.
There was no vacuum cleaner to clean the floor, so I replaced it with a mop. I couldn't afford to clean the entire house, so I had to be content with securing a minimum radius of activity.
"Oh, oh… … Dazzling sun!"
After clearing out most of the boxes and clearing out the kitchen at least to a usable level, the sun was rising outside the window.
There are no curtains on the living room window, so the only advantage is that you can see the outside scenery better.
"What about breakfast?"
I left the house and headed to the convenience store.
For the items I bought, I chose instant rice and instant bean sprout soup, and for side dishes, I chose kimchi in small packs and jang-jorim quail eggs in a glass bottle. As a bonus, I bought an ion drink, water, and a hangover cure drink.
It is an infinitely instant list, but even this can be said to be domestic for that house.
"I'll use the microwave."
Cook instant rice and instant soup in a convenience store microwave. It would all cool down on the way back home anyway, but there was no other way as the house had no cooking utensils, let alone a microwave.
After finishing all the work at the convenience store, I went back to Sua's house.
"Mr. Sua. It's me. Woke up?"
When I knocked on the door, I heard a rustle from inside the room, then it was quiet.
Hmm. What is Sua thinking? Would she be surprised too?
Come to think of it, there was a feeling that I was too far-fetched. I didn't ask for it, but I cleaned the house, organized my luggage, or cooked rice on my own. Besides, I wasn't a person who was a stranger until yesterday.
Maybe Sua is drunk and doesn't even remember who I am. Maybe he's quietly calling the police right now... … .
"Sua, I am Jin Seon-hu. Son of actor I'm Im-hye, who is filming a drama together this time. Did you meet yesterday? Do you remember?"
"… … Mr. Seonhu?"
A small voice came from inside.
Phew. Fortunately, he seems to remember.
"Yes. I asked Sua to take care of her mother because she drank a lot. So she did some breakfast, can she open the door?"
After waiting for a while, the door opened slightly, and Sua poked her head out through the crack. It was a little disheveled, but still that face was shining to the point of death.
"Have breakfast."
When I shook the convenience store envelope in my hand, Soo-ah, embarrassed, opened the door.
"Bean sprout soup and rice. Since there is no table, I will use this for now."
I took one of the strongest cardboard boxes I had left for the dining table and set the table on it.
Rice, bean sprout soup, and side dishes were a simple table consisting of kimchi and jang-jorim quail eggs. It seemed even more absent because of the cardboard table.
"It's already cooled down, but eat it before it gets too cold. If the rice is hard, roll it in soup and eat it."
Sua sat down and looked down at the table in a daze.
It was like someone seeing Bob for the first time.
Well, a human who is the size of Hwang Su-ah must have never received a meal like this in his life.
Sua couldn't help but hold up her spoon while hesitantly, unable to overcome my eyes telling her to eat it quickly.
"How is it? Is it worth eating?"
"… … taste… there is… … ."
"Really?"
I just opened my mouth, but can I taste it? That's what I asked too.
"It is delicious… … really."
"Eh."
Tears like chicken droppings fell from Sua's eyes, who repeatedly said that the food was delicious.
At first, she thought she had seen it wrong, but Sua's eyes were flowing with tears as if a dam had burst.
"No, hey, if you can't eat, don't force yourself to eat."
"Ugh… ugh... … Ugh... … ."
Mr. Sua shook her head and poured the steamed rice and bean sprout soup into her mouth. I couldn't help but be terrified of such an unexpected reaction.
Mr. Sua stuffs rice into her mouth while sobbing. It felt like a scene from a drama. Is this what a born actress is?
"Uh, um… … I'll let you know how to throw away the leftover food after you finish eating. There is a food waste bin next to the sink, so all you have to do is throw it in there, uh... … Enjoy your meal."
I tried to give you the basic information necessary to live as a resident of the same apartment, but I don't think I'm going to hold on to the crying person.
I ran out of the room as if I was running away from Sua.
Under… … I really don't know English.
Even if I said I did it yesterday because I was drunk, I would have sobered up today.
Women's minds are complicated, but maybe this is a bit harsh.
I don't think I'll understand that I'm a woman until the day I die.
Looking at the sun shining outside the window, I sighed for the number of times today.
Mother's Agony — Son's first sleepover
After the twisted relationship with his son, he had a lot of worries.
The conclusion I came to after thinking about it was that it couldn't be this way.
The relationship between me and my predecessor is a relationship that cannot be accepted in the world.
If it becomes known in any way, it will inevitably become news because of the name Lim Im-hye. Even if Mi-so or So-young, who are closest to you, find out, the whole family will be deeply hurt.
The souls of the predecessors are too weak to endure such pain.
So I had to stop right now. At this rate, it was obvious that we would all face destruction together in the end.
When I received counseling from Hwang Soo-ah, a junior actor, I thought it was a good opportunity.
A child with a radiant youth that I do not have.
When I looked at her personality and personality that I saw and felt when we worked together once, there was no part that fell apart anywhere. She was the kind of child she would want to be a good match for, if only she could, with the heart of being a mother.
So, we decided to set up a meeting place secretly. You might get angry if you didn't tell me, but your mind will change once you meet the seonhu. Because Hwang Soo-ah is one of the most beautiful girls in Korea.
As expected, the seonhu was taken aback, but they quickly adjusted to their seats. Even though it was the first time he met him, somehow the seonhu was talking and shaking hands with Hwang Soo-ah normally.
Seeing such an appearance before and after, my heart tingled for some reason.
It meant that the former's illness had improved. It's definitely something to be happy about, but I felt a bit sad seeing the successors getting away from her mother's arms.
I guess this is what good men and women are like. The two got along very well objectively.
It may seem that the seonhu, who is still young and has not achieved anything, is lacking, but I thought that if the seonhu could fill the unique deficiency of a young actress, they were a couple with enough potential.
With a suitable story, a bridge was built between the two, and this mother was going to fall out. As initially planned, the two became close easily, and Hwang Soo-ah in particular seemed to cling to what he found from the seonhu.
Okay. As initially planned... … .
But why is my heart getting heavier and heavier?
Children could not be happy to leave their parents' nest.
With an honest heart, he hoped that he would remain in his mother's arms forever. She wanted to be a poor son who couldn't do anything without her mother.
But that's just my selfishness. If it was really for my son, I had to let him go. In order to fly on their own, they had to cheer on the wing flapping themselves.
But I couldn't.
"Mom can go alone. Let's talk about the future with young people."
The reason why such words came out so suddenly was because I couldn't bear to see another woman being held in the arms of the lord.
I knew that such an action would make things difficult for me. And she also knew that the seonhu would come after her, prioritizing her mother over her Hwang Soo-ah.
It was a cowardly act. I prepared Hwang Soo-ah to distance myself from the seonhu, and in the end I couldn't stand watching the two of them get closer.
In the end, the seonhu left Hwang Soo-ah behind and pursued me. A small sense of superiority spread in his chest.
"My son, it's a big deal still looking for his mother. Thank you for thinking of me, but aren't you old enough to be independent from your mother now?"
When he expressed his intention to reject it implicitly, the seonhu showed a defiant attitude for the first time.
Each of these actions before and after filled my heart with passion.
iced coffee. I also don't want to let go. Why are the fruits of sin so sweet?
He was hugged by the lord and laid on the bed. The eyes of the lord looking down at me shone sharply.
What is the ancestor thinking? Her fears, expectations, and worries mingled in her head.
"Seonhu. I can't do this... … ."
Verbal refusal. If I'm being asked to do so now, can I really refuse?
In the short time that I faced the seonhu up close, countless thoughts passed through my head.
"Mom. Love you."
An honest confession without any embellishment comes and sticks in my heart.
I want to hug the seonhu right now. I wanted to whisper that her mother felt the same way, and that her mother loved her predecessor.
However, I was the one who decided to distance myself from the predecessors. For the future, to protect the family.
As a mother, I made the right choice.
The ancestors left. She went to Soo-ah, whom she had forgotten for a while.
I was the one who introduced Sua to the seonhu. I was also the one who induced the two of them to get closer.
But there was me who later regretted it.
Suah Hwang. A child with youth and beauty that I do not have.
The difference between Hwang Soo-ah, who is having her brightest days as a woman, and me, who is in her twilight years as a woman, only widens as time goes on.
The gap never closes. Probably, once the seonhu is taken away, you will never be able to find it again.
The moment I handed out the name Hwang Soo-ah to fill my empty seat, my story was no different from the end.
I don't want to let go... … .
My dear son my dear man
Our ancestors who raised me with all my might. It felt like my heart was being torn to shreds at the thought of having to be deprived of such honor.
"Calm down, I'm Seong-hye. Wake."
I lifted my heavy body from the bed. He staggered like a sleepwalker.
We arrived at the dressing room.
I took off all my clothes and stood naked in front of a full-length mirror.
Still, but still a usable body. It was the result of decades of desperate management.
I have lived my life paying attention to even the smallest habits, so as not to sag, not to change color, not to have wrinkles.
However, lying about one's age was no longer possible. Maybe two or three years at most. After that, no matter how hard you work out or use expensive cosmetics, you won't be able to stop your body from withering away.
The flowers were about to fall.
I only have now. The only thing that can respond to the feelings of the predecessor is now... … .
Afraid. Going back to the normal hat. The fact that the seonhu don't show interest when they see me.
Before that happens, at least once... … .
Just then, the phone rang in the pocket of the clothes I had taken off.
It was before and after.
"Seonhu-ya… ah… … !"
"Mom. I think I'll be a little late today. Don't wait, go to bed first."
After reading the message sent by the predecessor, I collapsed on the spot.
It's late tonight That meant that the seonhu would spend the night with Hwang Soo-ah.
It may not be strange that young people these days continue on the first day they meet.
But I couldn't stand it.
I moved my trembling fingers and tapped the phone.
No. Listen quickly
But I couldn't write the answer to the end.
It was because I felt so humble that I was trying to control the succession by asserting my authority as a mother.
If you tell them to come back even now, the seonhu will come back.
But that doesn't help anyone. Except to relieve my jealousy.
Hands lose strength The smartphone fell to the floor.
I am a mother. He is the one who should be most delighted with the growth of his ancestors. You must never hinder the growth of your ancestors and descendants.
"Seonhu-ya… ."
Comes to mind The hand of the predecessor who stroked my chest. The way he kissed me on the mouth and was ashamed. A voice that groaned in pleasure.
"Iced coffee… … ."
My hand moved naturally. Recalling the path the ruler's hand had passed, he moved along it.
"Seonhu-ya… … ."
Carefully touches her chest as if she is afraid it will break.
The seonhu was excited, but did not lose control. She put my feelings before her own pleasure. I could feel the affection in the way he touched me. That was her merit before and after.
"Iced coffee… ah… … ♡"
The body is hot. My hand went down from my chest to between my legs.
Masturbation. I hadn't done it once since I was in middle school.
But that was the only way to soothe my loneliness now.
"Oh… !"
Fingertips touch the clitoris.
The long-forgotten joy of a woman. Just as a dry seed meets water droplets and sprouts, I recalled the pleasure through the first and after.
Ethics obsessed over her, and she was afraid of the eyes of the people around her, so she tried to distance herself from her predecessors.
But does that really matter? Is this something I should prioritize even more than my wish for success?
"Ha… oh… ♡"
In this society, there will probably never be any recognition of the relationship with the predecessors. If known, the whole world would condemn it, and the family would collapse. There may be no place to set foot anywhere in Korea.
So, I was about to give up.
I thought it was the best to protect my family and to protect the future.
So, I tried to introduce him to another woman and get him away from me.
However, it was only after he let go that he realized how big his heart and desire are. I never thought I'd regret this much... … .
Stupid woman.
"Before and after… … After all... ! Alas!"
If the seonhu would open that door and come in, even now. I will tell you that I love you too, that I love you with all my heart.
"Iced coffee… … !"
An act of masturbation performed by recalling the memory of being touched by the predecessor. Sexual pleasure could be obtained even in an unfamiliar act.
At the end of it, I reached a small orgasm.
But this was not it.
The pleasure I got from communing with the predecessors was not like this. It was deeper, hotter, and ecstatic.
The pleasure of licking the surface of watermelon only left futility.
As if a thirsty person drank seawater, the thirst for the superiors only intensified.
"Iced coffee… … ."
By now, the seonhu should be making love with a young woman.
When I thought so, I felt like I was going to cry in misery.
I made up my mind.
If they return this morning, I will be with them even if I seduce them first.
But that day, the seonhu did not return until the sun rose.
It was the first day the seonhu stayed out overnight.