“Ugh, I’m sick of this!” Nadia tosses the thick, tattered book across her bed. “Please don’t make me read anymore, my eyeballs will fall out!” She collapses dramatically across the bed.
Katia sits in her chair beside the bed, her usual spot, and chuckles slightly. It’s at times like this she shows her true age, she thinks to herself. “You’ve done well. I think you’ve adequately studied, and self-reflected enough for today. Shall we have dinner now? I had the kitchen prepare stewed lamb and potatoes, your favorite. Along with our daily blood rite, of course.”
Nadia nods in response, and Katia picks up the phone on the wall by the door to request their meal. “It shouldn’t be long now.” Katia speaks pleasantly as she walks over to the bed. “May I?”
“Don’t be silly Katia. You know you never have to ask. I’d like it if you did.” Katia climbs elegantly onto the bed and Nadia wastes no time resting her head in her lap. “Thank you for always staying by my side Katia. Without you, I’d have lost my sanity long ago. I’m sure of it.”
Her words visibly surprise Katia. “What do you mean, Nadia? Of course, I’d be here, it’s my duty. From the very first day we took you under Minister Lowell’s care, they assigned me as your personal attendant for anything you needed. It’s a task that I take great pride in and will carry out until my dying breath. Watching over you and serving you is my only true purpose.”
“You’re being way too serious, Katia. Please don’t talk about dying. I’ll never let you die. You deserve to live forever. I’m the one who’s going to protect you. I’ll ensure you can live happily.”
“Yes, I suppose so. Then I can say the same to you. Don’t you run off to die either. If you do, then what shall I live for?” She sees Nadia’s face scrunch up apologetically and tears glistening in her eyes. “Come now, no crying. I didn’t mean to scold you. I just meant that I’d be very sad if I couldn’t serve you anymore. You’re dear to me. So much so, I could call you my daughter.”
Nadia feels emotional as Katia strokes her hand across her forehead and through her chestnut curls. She loves it when she does this, and it always relaxes her and soothes her when she’s feeling down. “You’re very dear to me too, Katia. If I didn’t have you, I never would’ve made it this far. I’m sorry I tried to end it all without considering how you’d feel. I’m tired of fighting, but if you’re here, I can try for a little longer. I’ll try my best for your sake, but I can’t promise.”
“That’s all I could ever ask of you, Nadia. Just keep fighting. We’ll find a way. Either the minister will, or I’ll figure out a way myself. No matter what, I want you to live while you can as yourself. I know it’s hard, but you can still have the experiences the other kids your age do and more. You just have to try your best and show them that you’re worth befriending.”
“Even if I wanted to, they wouldn’t give me the chance. If I even come near them, they become fearful and move away. Or if they’re more daring, they’ll shove me, call me a demon and then run away laughing. I can’t even defend myself because if I did, I’d just prove myself to be the monster they claim I am. So, I think I’d rather continue to be alone. It’s easier that way.”
“While it may appear easier to seclude yourself, you’re actually making your life more difficult. Those kids and even the adults of our congregation are going to see you as they will regardless of your actions. They’ve already made their preconceived notions about who you are, and there’s little you can do to change those perceptions. So, you might as well just live as you like, right?”
“I don’t think it’s that easy, Katia. Even if they already see me as a monster, I don’t want to subject myself to their glares. I don’t like how they see me or how they treat me, but that’s not what bothers me the most. It’s the fact that I feel pressured to still smile in their faces and be polite, even when I know they hate me and I despise them. I don’t want to fake it. It’s stifling.”
“I understand, Nadia. It’s not fair that you must always smile, and they frankly don’t deserve it. However, your smile is beautiful, and I think you should flaunt it. It’ll light the way for your beloved to find you, and ruffle the feathers of those who want to see you down. Trust me, dear.”
Katia always seems to have the perfect words to say to improve her mood, and it overwhelms Nadia with sentimental feelings. “I love you Katia. I want to be with you forever. As long as I can still be me. If I’m able to grow into a woman, I’ll definitely do all I can to satisfy you.”
Katia giggles. “I love you too, my sweet girl. You already do plenty to satisfy me just as the kind girl you already are. I don’t need anything else. You should save that determination for your true love. I’m sure they’ll find you soon, so just wait a while longer, okay?” The girl nods obediently.
Katia leans down and nuzzles her nose against Nadia’s, and they laugh together. Moments later the maid arrives with their food, and they enjoy a peaceful meal together. Somehow, despite Minister Lowell’s strict order, Katia even sneaks in a few sweets too.