"I'm going to miss you terribly." Mistress Kiara tugged me to her, squeezing me so hard that it hurt. She smelled of those god-forsaken roses and for the first time since smelling that pungent smell, I liked it.
I only learned a few weeks ago why Kiara and the girls had taken to me like their own daughter, trying to shield me from their ways and protecting my honor.
Mistress Kiara had a daughter only a few years younger than me that had passed from a virus a couple of years ago. The girl had slept in the attic I rented.
Even if it was for only a little while I am glad that I got to experience what a mother's love felt like. My mother died when we were younger and Ivy's father partially raised us. He was a rather rough man with a firm hand that had left many scars across my body. Luckily he never hit Ivy.
The rest of the girls were hugging each other, watching me leave with worry in their eyes. A few of them let out choked sobs making it extremely hard to hold in the tears that were burning in the back of my eyelids.
She looked almost reluctant to let me go, she had a fire in her eyes telling me she would fight every single one of the men that tried to take me. My money was on her if she did. "I can say the same. You all gave me a family. I've never had that before."
"Take care of yourself, dear. Be vigilant." She gives me a weak smile that doesn't reach her eyes and I laugh to keep myself from bursting into a mess on the floor.
The sound was strangled, I fan my face with my scared hand trying to stop the tears once more.
I wasn't a big crier. Yet my body was fighting to prove me wrong.
"I will. I love you. I'm on my way to tell my sister, Clementine, and Professor Pine goodbye." I hadn't seen Ivy in months, it was regrettable seeing as how this might be the last time I get to see her at all.
She had been full of life, her eyes shining with contentment, and knew without a doubt that I wouldn't have to worry about her while away at war.
The once feeble girl had grown into a strong woman and that couldn't make me any happier. We have been through hell growing up, it only seemed fitting that she got her happy ending.
Maybe she would even have some of my nieces and nephews before too long.
Would I ever get to see them?
Fae wars could last way longer than my life expectancy. Would my dying breath be taken in a foreign land? Surrounded by strangers?
All because I took the life of an abusive asshole.
It wasn't fair but I knew better than anyone that life wasn't fair.
"I love you all. May me meet again." I say faking false cheer for their sake.
The door was closed behind me, and my small amount of belongings was crammed into a suitcase that Mistress Kiara told me I could have.
The dress I wore tonight took up most of the room but I couldn't bring myself to leave it behind. A strange attachment had developed between me and the delicate fabric. Almost as strong of an attachment as me and the pencils.
There were only two of them left, yet I still kept the unusable end of the third. The small piece of wood seemed too valuable to throw out even though it held no use at all.
The first place I would go would be to Professor Pine because it was the closest.
I hoped he was home...
Taking a few steps in that direction, a certain brown-haired, jewel dress-wearing woman stood in front of me.
The biggest of smiles on her face, her eyes were shining with excitement.
I didn't think Clementine would be so happy to see me go...
It wasn't until I noticed both of her suitcases that realization struck on why she wasn't somber.
"I'm coming with."
"Wha-. How? You can't." So many questions rattled my brain to the point that I was stumbling over my words. Unable to form a whole sentence properly.
"Healer hands baby." She held them up and they glowed a vibrant red.
It had been a week ago that she revealed to me she was a healer, untrained and dangerous, but still a healer.
"My father agreed that I could go, and learn some new things from the famous Milly. She's serving as the only currently present healer to the warriors right now. I've heard she works wonders."
"So we're doing this? Your coming with me?" Part of me still didn't want to believe it, this couldn't be real, and luck rarely worked in my favor. I felt like this was a sick joke that was about to be ripped out from under me.
"Yes. Damn it, now smile." She sat down her suitcases and raced towards me with her arms stretched out. She ran, nearly tackling me, and I stumbled back from the impact.
I've learned this past month that she is a big hugger, and I've grown accustomed. It doesn't bother me as much as it did when I was younger.
"Thank you, Clementine."
"What are best friends for?"
-.-.-.-
"Okay so here is my address. I expect weekly updates. I'll send money for the expenses." Professor Pine handed me a piece of paper with his information on it.
"Okay, I'll try my best." I was sure to be busy when I arrived, the war was at full speed still, Oberon and Bolt taking over for The General while he tried to sort out some allies.
Despite that fact, I planned to spend whatever time I could afford on Professor Pine.
He had been kind to me over these few months I've worked for him, despite the rocky start we had.
"Goodbye Professor Pine. Do me a favor?" He nodded quickly. "Write the best damn history book anyone has ever read and I better get credited in the back."
He gave me a look of thanks, he was rather skeptical of his work, and he doubted himself a lot.
"Credited? You're going to be in them. Do me a favor?"
"Yeah?"
"Kick some beast ass." I laughed harder than I ever had.
The sound was foreign to my ears.
I wish there were more things to laugh about in my life.
I'm going to miss that cranky old history Professor more than I should.
-.-.-.-
Three simple knocks sounded on my sister's red-painted door, sweat was coating my skin from the walk here, Clementine was supposed to be telling the men to pick me up here.
So, at least I didn't have a taxing walk back to The Brothel.
The neighborhood was nice, way nicer than anything we ever live in growing up.
Its roof didn't have any holes in it, and the windows were modern, unlike the ancient ones that most servant homes possessed. She even had a doorbell but I wasn't sure if it worked.
A nice little mat sat at the top of her steps, 'Welcome-ish'. It screamed Ivy, causing a sad smile to tug my cheeks upwards. A smile that made my eyes crinkle.
The lawn was well taken care of so this man of hers wasn't lazy. She even told me about him building her flower box's the last time I had come.
This place would be perfect for her. The reason I was picking up on so many details was that I wanted to be able to remember she was safe and well taken care of.
It would make saying this goodbye so much easier.
It was already well into the night but I couldn't leave without telling her bye, knowing that this might be the last time I see the girl I grew up with.
The girl that had my back when we were younger.
The woman I would and have killed over.
She opens the door and the first thing that catches my eye is the half-naked male standing behind her. My cheeks tint with color, they were clearly in the middle of an intimate moment.
Embarrassment kept my cheeks a ruby shade of red and tightened my throat.
My sister was flushed from exhaustion, a lazy quirky smile inhabits her mouth. "Hello, sister."
She has never been shy, she inhabits this flame inside of her that burned brighter than the sun.
That Fae. The first person I ever killed almost snuffed it out but it was back in full swing.
"I'm leaving." The words rush out. I fidgeted about with my hands.
"For good. I came to say goodbye. The queen is sending me to the war beyond the Outer Wall, as a part of my probation."
She turns to the man that was hugging her from behind. "Give us just a moment?" She leans up and kisses his lips gently.
I'm struck with a feeling of not knowing if their affection gross's me out or made me envious.
What did kissing a man feel like? It was something that hadn't crossed my mind much.
I wasn't the girl that had crushes growing up, the visions preoccupied me.
For a moment just now, I let myself wonder what a relationship would feel like.
She steps outside her robe swaying in the wind. As soon as the door is shut behind her she's in my arms. "Is there something I can do to make you stay?"
Her black hair, which was just a shade lighter than mine, catches in my mouth and I swat it away from the sensitive skin.
"No, Ivy. I'm in it. Too far down this rabbit hole to jump out now. I'm going to miss you. Promise me you'll write. I'll figure out a way to cover the expenses."
"I promise. This is all my fault." I return her hug, and the feeling of family tugs me into warm memories.
"Never think that. I love you." The wagon pulls up behind me and I release her gently. "Be happy."
It's all I ever wanted in life, was to see her happy.
"Maybe one day, Ayumu you can be too." With her parting words I turned to my new reality, would this be forever?