I jolted awake with a loud gasp. I looked to my right, then to my left.

I was in my room?

I looked to my hands bronze in color, they were indeed shaking….

"How did…" my mind flashed back to the last thing I remembered.

(Flashback)

I stood upon my bed, my hands were shaking violently as I held the knife to my neck.

My own failures flashing through my brain, then finally…

"My mothers corpse on the ground, her purse that she normally Carres with her was gone."

It was a robbery.

I gritted my teeth, I was only focused on myself, my pain at the world, I was hurting; but what I didn't realize, Iw as hurting others.

You don't realize until they are gone.

Just like that….

IMy family turned against me, blaming me for her death, I was treated bad; it wasn't until I was proven not guilty that they started feeling guilty about how they treated me, but by then it was too late.

My homie Aaron, was the only one who stood by my side, unfortunately it was not enough.

My mind was too far damaged

Now I stood ready for the unthinkable.

I put the knife on my neck and the blade dig deeper to a point where you could see the blood trickling down from it.

"Goodbye world…at least I will be able to see you again, this time I promise you."

My eyes gained a determined look.

I promise you that from now on, I will be the better son."

With one swift motion the knife came across my neck. I spasmed, before I dropped to the floor.

(Flashback end)

I stared at my hands, they were visibly shaking

"How the fuck am I still alive?" I thought to myself

"Eli hurry up and get ready!" The voice of my mother called from the hallway, "Your going to be late for school!"

it was slightly different from before though she was always a tomboy this was slightly different had more of a rough edge to it.

"How the fuck is she alive…" I thought at first I would think I was in heaven, but I don't deserve to go to heaven.

At least not after what I've done.

I shook my head, and got ready…went to my closet to get my clothes, I paused. Pink… All of my clothes were pink…ugh, but you know what I don't have time for that.

I grabbed my clothes and I rushed to the shower, 1 minute got my underarms and my private areas then I stepped out to dry myself off; brushed my teeth put deodorant on.

Then I put my clothes on and bolted to the door…

I froze as I stared at my mother; she really didn't look much different from before, the only I noticed was different was her posture, but you have to have a good eye to notice the difference.

I stood there staring at her for a second In to hug her tightly, eyes watering.

She stiffened for a minute, before she hugged me back with equal passion.

I wiped the tears from my eyes before I broke the hug; she looked at me with a smile but I could tell with her eyes that she was surprised.

"What brought this on?"

I shrugged, "Just decided on a change."

She smirked, "You keep saying that."

I merely smiled, not saying anything…my mind flashed back to her corpse laying lifeless onto the ground.

I resisted the urge to clench my fist.

'Not this time.' I thought, 'things will be different.'

"Would you like me to take you to school?" Mom asked me.

Now normally I would reject this, simply because I would be too embarrassed…she wasn't the girl to care about what others think about her… so she would just get up from her bed dressed badly with holes in her shirt, never bothering to switch to a clean oneher hair all messed up wand it would embarass me.

But now I realize, what the fuck did so complain about, she was there for me, she cared for me, she helped me when others didn't. She was my rock.

She supported me even when I was against her.

Not many have that.

I grabbed my backpack leaning against the couch before slinging it onto my back.

My smile grew.

"Sure."