(Maya's p.o.v)
It had been a day, not sure if my brain could take more of it. I was feeling like not exactly in the mood for more episodes. I had heard enough with the family drama. Me and my family had just arrived from the countryside. From a funeral function.
We had just said goodbye to grandma and dad was driving us home. When it comes to my family, we were complicated. Am the eldest daughter, the rest three were triplets. They always fought but had each others back at the end. Mess with one, you'd mess with all. They looked up to me their elder sister for guidance. So my mother worked my ass off, so that I'd learn the value of hard work for the three to learn from me. As i never used to jock with academics, so did the three. Every time I'll put on a big sister mask. I'd expect them to copy. I guess it worked. Before high school i had zero issues with that life, though i wanted more, like hold hand with the boy i had a crush on but who was i to demand how my life should be, So long as my mother kept calling me ' My favourite baby child.'
All i could get then was mama's pride. I couldn't let it go without a fight. But I guess i lost coz after high school things weren't the same. I became a teenager used to high school life, freedom in every corner. Being mama's favourite child, felt way more than punishment than privilege. My siblings needed their role model while i needed freedom. My life, my became complicated. Soon after my return from highschool we started having minor arguments with mom, then next she was on my throat, it didn't take long for us to be foes. But still i had to be the perfect sister, my siblings lives depended on it. To get mom off my back i enrolled in my role as the role enrolled in me. After i got used to it i simply stopped living my life and i just became an observer. I observed as my sister lizzy made boyfriends behind mom's back, My brother Larry got recognized by girls his age and beyond, Lenny embraced his title in the family, being the last born and this boy i always met in church. Never did talk to him but watched him live his odd like life. He's an artist, love making up stories and socializing with kids. Be it not my responsibilities i would have approached him then , at least that's what i kept telling myself the truth being i was afraid of the unknown love to me was not a familiar topic. But what happened after our return from grandma's funeral changed my perspective of him. Maybe he liked playing with kids because he was scared to hang out with his age mates. He was never in a relationship maybe because he was a coward when it came to girls. Maybe he was no more than what he appeared. To get him off my mind that what i convinced myself with, a boy like that wasn't worth my time. After our arrival i didn't feel like embracing the comforts of home. When arrived my mom was already home, normally mom and dad rarely look eye to eye. When they did chaos would be the product. Which at times made me wonder, how was it they were together that long that long. A relationship of over ten years. They separated six years back but we kids made them still connect time to time. Phone conversations were normally smooth compared to face to face conversations. I don't blame dad for finding someone in his life but it seemed mom did. Apparently that was the only reason I came up with that could explain mom's resistance when it came to the idea of us visiting dad. So when I saw mom at the door i immediately predicted war. As she said , she did take another ride home. Once i greeted her and i bid dad goodbye i immediately made my escape to the church.
A few months from church, i wanted to see how much had changed. Our house was just next door to the church so no much walking was involved. Fortunately on my arrival the first faces that welcome me in were of him then his friend.
"Long time no see?"
"Am great." I replied to Brian.
"We know, we heard the news."
"Which news?" ' Is attending my grandma's funeral really good news.' I wondered. ' How did they come to here about it?'
"That you were leaving us for further academics."
"Ooh, that news,"
"Which other news were you expecting?" His friend Phillip asked mischievously.
"What he meant to say was, we are glad you are back though next time heads up before you disappear. Okay."
"So you guys did miss me."
"Yeah, we did.." Hearing the words that came from his mouth, He missed me. I kind of blushed. I felt my cheeks become hot, too hot that Phillip seemed to notice and just smiled.
"So what did change upon during my absence?"
"Phillip tells me nothing much but i see a lot has,"
"What do you mean Phillip tells you?"
"Am also visiting for Christmas."
"You also joined."
"It's complicated."
"I see."
"Anyway we were on our way out, glad seeing you again?"
"Me too." Phillip added.
"So was i seeing you.. I mean you both, glad seeing you both too."
"See you around, i hope."
"Same."
Though I didn't want to show it but it just happened. The funny thing was, i didn't regret it afterwards rather hoped to our next meeting.
The next meeting was the next day, he came in late and for the first time since forever he actually sat beside me. I can't say if he wanted to or was it because i sat where he usually sits. The point is, it felt nice.
I don't know what i expected him to do but i wasn't comfortable with sitting close to someone who was minding his own business. I wished to provoke him and see his reaction but i was scared to. The best i could do was look at him as he concentrated on his art.
My days knowing him I've never seen him take notes in church. If not writing them scribbling something on his book which were notes, what they were i can't tell coz he's handwriting wasn't exactly the reading type.
To my left i could see, Tom texting to someone he had saved as Babe with love emojis. Jane and paul were three seats away making good use of their time in church. Paul's hands were else where as Jane seemed restless, they were sitting mates. Even if I couldn't admit it, maybe that's what I wanted.
After some i realized he wasn't gonna react or even talk to. Maybe it was because I wasn't beautiful enough for him to care. For once he used in a group he's a guy with his own type which was rare. Many have tried to harass me, the rest pretend to care in my life so that i could notice them. But him, i just noticed him yet i didn't know why.
Seeing he wasn't talking any actions i figured maybe I'd tell him how i feel whatever happens happen, but once the service was over coz i didn't know how to start telling him in the middle of the service.
'Hi Brian, mind if we talk. There's something I've been wanting to talk to you about. My feelings. There's this feeling i have when am around you or thinking about you. I don't know what they mean but am willing to find out if you want me to. If not then am glad i got to get it off my chest, thank you very much.... '
I planned the words to tell him in my head. But shortly after i was summoned outside. When i went, i was told to lead the teens for their teacher had just been summoned to another assignment else where. And after the teens mom requested me help her out with the cleaning so that we got to celebrate Christmas as a family afterwards. I did it as quickly as i could but i the time i was winding up, he was gone. He and his group and already left the premises. The best i could do was go home and try to enjoy Christmas but vowed to tell him the next time i met him.
I wish I had to tell you my Christmas was great, great it was not. I wasn't even in the mood to considering it was the other day we buried our grandma but the Triplets did have their fun. Dressing up like prince' and princess and each went out to have fun. I just remained home with mom watching Christmas carols on TV.
On Wednesday i went to church, he wasn't their, neither was his Phillip. On Sunday, Phillip did show giving me hope would also show but i waited till the end, he didn't text think i know Phillip approached me and gave me a letter claimed it's from someone i know.
Seeing the handwriting i knew exactly who it's from, and i was boiled up in rage and sliced the letter in to two.
"This are some of the things i despise with passion, Phillip tell your friend if he wants to tell me something, better do it straight to my face my face. Is that clear?"
"Yes Madam." He answered in fear.
And i threw the pieces on the ground and left for the toilet. To be fair, i didn't know exactly what i was angry about, whether it was because he didn't show up or like a coward he hid behind his words. He didn't have have the balls to tell me what i wanted to hear straight in my face. After some minutes of cooling down i came back to my senses and realized what i had just done. Despite of being his friend Phillip was also mine. No matter how how angry i was, he didn't deserve the tone i used on him. I got out only to find him gone.
But i figured i had the following week to apologize and now here i am heading to Bitter city try and correct what i did wrong six months ago. After the call, i got a clear picture of what i was up against.
Truthfully speaking i wasn't sure if Brian would even speak to me on forgiveness leave alone being forgiven.
I really messed up things with Brian.
...