'Fuck...'
"-ey."
'Just remembering it gets me angry all over again...It's not enough. I shouldn't have killed that fucker easily...'
"Hey, Alex!" Helena's sharp voice rang loudly, snapping my wandering mind back in place.
I looked at her baffled and slightly pouty face.
And then it dawned on me why I was so angry about that noble and the reason why I would find my emotions peaking in a matter of seconds whenever I remembered what he did to that elven family.
"...Ah, so this is what it feels like...?" I couldn't help but scoff dryly.
"What is? You've been acting strange since a while ago; you know that?" Said Helena sourly.
"Helena...I think I'm in love..."
And as soon as I said that, someone spat out the tea they were drinking, bursting like a broken faucet.
Howard, who choked himself, jumped on his feet and made a beeline towards us. He didn't say anything and stood between Helena and me. His gaze darted back and forth between us two.
When he failed to discern anything, Howard finally asked loudly. "Are you for real!? Say that again!"
Ignoring my perplexed look, his mouth kept moving.
"I didn't hear you wrong, did I, Alex? I think it's good and all. To be honest, this way, we can make it official, and Helena will be in good hands. But isn't this too out of the blue for a confession?"
Howard was prattling about some things I just couldn't wrap my head around. Meanwhile, Helena slumped her head low without saying anything for some reason.
Take it from me; if she was not being loud for a whole minute, something must've been wrong.
"Hey...what's wrong with her?" So, I asked.
"Hm? Ah, leave her be. She's just embarrassed. Look at how red she is." Howard whispered back teasingly.
'Embarrassed? Why, though...?'
It felt like something was really out of place here. But the thing was, I didn't have a single fucking clue about what's what.
"Love!" Adam, feeling excited due to Howard's reaction, jumped in gleefully.
"Yeah, Adam. Alex says he loves Helena! It's great news!" Followed Howard, grinning wide.
"Huh?" "Great news!"
Adam and my voice overlapped, leaving a strange ambiance in the room.
Just to be sure, I had to ask. "Say what again, Howard? Who loves who?"
"You and Helena? You love her." Replied Howard back.
'Is this punk smoking something behind our back?' I squinted my eyes at him.
"Says who?" I questioned him again.
"You did." And he answered with confidence.
'Yeap, this punk has been smoking some shit behind our back. I'm positive.'
"I did? When?"
"Just now! You said you're in love with her. I heard it with my own damn ears, you bastard!" Howard, who seemingly realized something was off, raised his voice.
"Bastard!" Adam popped in with innocent smiles in between.
"No, no, Adam. It's a bad word. Aunt Maya will scold you if she hears you, okay?" Howard fetched the unruly boy and warned him gently while giving me a furious glance afterward.
As much as I liked to say I was faultless in this case, I realized I wasn't. "Yes, Adam, Howard is right. And no, I didn't say I'm in love with Helena. It's a misunderstanding."
Yes, it was an honest misunderstanding...
"Misunderstanding? What are you talking about? If not her, then who else could it...be..." Howard's words slowly came to a halt, and colors soon left his face. He looked at me and shook his head ruefully. "Oh, Alex..."
He then mouthed the words, telling me that I was on my own from then on.
"Who's the bitch?" Helena, who's been radio silent this whole time, finally moved, slowly approaching me from the side.
Howard immediately slipped into the side, covering Adam's ears while trying to stay as far away as he could from us.
"Um...Who's what? I don't quite follow..." I could feel something brewing...Man, I could feel something ugly brewing in Helena's deadpan eyes.
"I said. Who's the bitch?" Sounded her, colder and sharper than the one before.
'Just what in the hell is the deal with these crazy twins!?' I complained unjustly inside. "Now, now. Calm down...Look, I said I don't understand what you're getting here. Who's a bitch? We were talking about how Howard misheard me, so why do you ask me about some bitch all of a sudden? Explain it to me so I can understand what you're saying, Helena." I tried to read the lines in her face, cranking up my brain to figure out the mystery of the centuries.
'Yeah, talk, please talk, you crazy princess. Instead of looking like a serial killer while glaring at me like that!'
"This is the last time I'll ask you, Alexander. Tell me, who's the bitch you're in love with?" Helena's tone turned colder and colder.
'Who's the...Ah...? Argh!! For fuck's sake!' And finally, my little crumpled head, which was seemingly void of any brain cells, arrived at the crux of the matter. "Hey! I meant my family! I'm in love with my family!!"
I screamed. Yeah...The number of times I screamed throughout this life could be counted on one hand. This was one of them...
"Huh?" "Huh?"
This time, it was Helena and Howard's turn to overlap. But with a totally different expression.
"I've been feeling off for some time now, so I spent some time thinking because of something. And it hit me...I think I love my family...I never felt this way before. It's a first for me, so I am surprised by it, too." I laid out everything in case they got to a wrong turn again.
They stare back at me. Slowly, their expression melted down and shifted.
"You're joking, right...? You love your family? You only know that now?" Howard was the first one to open his mouth.
"I am as serious as good ol' Byron can be. And hey, this is kinda important for me, you know. To realize this on my own...It's a big deal..." It really was. In all honesty, it really was...
"So, there's no bitch?" And Helena chimed in, scrutinizing me as though I wasn't off the hook yet.
"...Yes, Princess. There is no bitch." I looked her right in the eyes and gave it to her straight.
"Pfft. Hahaha!" And Howard began to burst out laughing. "Hahaha! Oh god, my sides hurt! Hahaha!"
I kept an eye on the twins. And the more Howard kept laughing, the uglier Helena's countenance was.
"Huhuhu...And here I thought the crush was mutual, but it turns out to be-"
"I dare you to finish that sentence...Go on..."
A cold threat from the Ruby-haired princess was all it took to make the punk shut his mouth.
'Crush was mutual? Who? Helena has a crush on me?'
She snapped her neck sharply toward me, glaring murderously. It was like she was about to chew me whole on the spot. I wasn't joking. I even roused my magic silently, just in case...
'Bro's mental! She ain't having no crush. She's about to cook me alive because of you, Howard, you punk!!'
I was no love guru or some shit like that, but I even knew for sure that the look on Helena's face was not the look you would give to someone you like. Nu-uh...Nope...
"Forget what you hear just now, Alex..."
"Forget..." Unknowingly, the same word had left my lips.
To be honest, there was a side of me that was itching to say, 'What if I don't want to?'
You know, being a bit rebellious once in a while. And it's not like she can kill me or anything.
But all being said and done. It was just scary.
I can't exactly describe how and why. It's just...Helena was freaking scary sometimes...
She scared the bejeezus out of me more than any bloodthirsty brigands out there.
"By your will, Princess."
'Fuck, of all the things I could've said...Damn you, Renata...' I groaned quietly inside.
Peeking at Howard, he was subtly nodding at me, hinting that I had done it right. It was infuriating and relieving at the same time.
"...Good." Replied Helena with a small, satisfied grin.
Just in time before the awkward pause ensued, Hannah knocked and entered the room. "Pardon my intrusion, young master. It is time for your Etiquette class with Sir Lodrick."
'Thank the heavens! Tactical retreat!!' I screamed inside with unbound joy while trying to play it cool on the outside. "Yes. Class is important indeed. Let us make haste. We can't keep Sir Lodrick waiting."
But yeah, I escaped with my tail tucked behind my legs...
Out of my own damn room...
From a nine-year-old girl...
...Fuck me...