I missed his smell. After our break up, I used to wear his black cardigan around my body every night, imagining that it was his embrace wrapping around me. I haven't washed it since he left. I irrationally liked to believe it still smelled like him.
Even though I surrounded myself with the memory of Anse, I cursed him for leaving me. The pain of not having him with me was like an arrow to my heart however instead of blood, hot fury boiled out of the wound.
"God damn you Anse"I whispered bitterly.
I have never and never will forgive him for what he did to me. And yet I loved him so, and still do. His absence pierced a hole into me that ached every time I breathed. That's how much I loved him. every single day and all night long, I think of him. We were supposed to walk hand in hand till the end of life. Without Anse, I've no anchor. I miss him with a longing that goes so deep I will never see the bottom of it.
As I looked into my future I can't envision the day that another man will make me feel the way he did.
I thought of the photograph in my wallet and already in my mind the image of my Anse's face was beginning to fade. It was important to me that I looked at it before I went to sleep. I didn't want to forget how he looked. Then it would mean that I accepted he was gone.
There was a cozy but marvelous workout area in Paradise mansion, clearly well maintained with many gym equipment. The best outlet to unleash anger. As if in medication, almost, as my fists would connect with the punching bag, my anger dissipated to some extent. I channeled my pent up frustrations into the focused energy needed to work the bag. I could feel a fine sheen of sweat covering my chest running down between my shoulder blades and pooled in the shallow dip at the small of my back soaking into the back of my pants. It was two in the morning. Too agitated to sleep, I worked the speed bag for thirty minutes now.
I was still thinking about the catch. Four hours had passed by. The way his eyes had glistened was bad news. I hit the speed bag with one last hard punch and stepped back, blowing out a sigh and working my shoulders back. I grabbed a towel and dried off, then pulled off the black T-shirt over my head and went towards the gymnastics ring equipment. My bra was sticking to my body.
I could feel the tattoo of a little blue butterfly lying in between my breasts itching and burning my skin. It was insane how much those beautiful memories would sometimes haunt me or sometimes give me solace. Shaking my head slightly, I kneeled down, panting. I couldn't afford to go off track. Currently my duty is my priority and that is Michaelson.
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It was seven pm. It has been almost 24 hours since I last saw Michaelson. As I was walking in the corridor, I saw an old lady being followed by a bodyguard as she walked inside the house with a relatively black bag. Her hair was graying and tied in a bun. Her face was marred by wrinkles. I approached her.
"Why are you here?"
Didn't she dread her life?
She smiled gently at me and faced her bodyguard.
"You can stay by the door please" she told the tall muscular man around his thirties dressed in dark blue formal clothing. A stone face. As he went reluctantly, she smiled at me, her eyes turning smaller.
"I'm the caretaker of Mr Michaelson pets"
I thought Michaelson had only Alpha as a pet. I still looked at her suspiciously. She was the first woman I encountered here except Alpha.
"Mr Michaelson is just a humble human. It's his profession that makes him act all evil"she continued cautiously.
I can't seem to remember if I asked for his character certificate. Was she on crack or something? She called torturing and killing for pleasure a profession.
"Oh really!" I challenged her statement.
"He's not as cruel as it seems."
She smiled warmly. I waited for her to elaborate.
"He's a kind soul."
Kind souls don't stomp on other's lifelines mercilessly.
"I can't come here during the day. I come on Mondays and Thursdays at this particular time" she explained.
Over-friendly woman.
She directed herself to the small staircase next to the fifth room of the corridor. She halted as she signaled me to join her. We walked to the large door at the end of the stairs.
"My name is Ruth"
"Sefa"
I returned her friendly smile.
"Since when do you work here?"
"You mean since when do I know Mr Michaelson?"
I nodded.
"It's been a while"
Wow. That barely answered my question.
"I'm repaying his debt. Long story. Excited to meet them?"
She opened up the door. It was a small but spacious room with no furniture. She pointed towards a tree. I took two steps away.
"That's Scar"
It was a big bird, a very big and beautiful one, a Macaw. It was red and a bit blue with bright red plumage covering most of its body, wings and long tail and such beautiful claws holding its branch. It could tear apart your flesh with that enormous beak. I've only seen small birds like pigeons and lovebirds live. This one has a beautiful, almost featherless face.
"Oscar…"
I looked at the decorated basket on the floor. My breath hitched in my neck as I witnessed the animal swaying its legless body, all white as snow. As though, dust would taint it, it was bathed in milk. Pure white. Small dots on its face, with two black eyes.
"A s-snake" I stuttered.
I didn't realize I reached the stairs as I backed away, surprised.
"And Alpha. Alpha where are you? Where is she?" She walked to the basket.
"She is a big white cat, you will see."
"You indeed have a strange way of using words. She is a tiger"
She laughed, probably amused.
"Ruth" I pointed to Oscar.
"Don't be scared. Oscar is a good boy."
"Right, I can see that. Is it poisonous?"
"Not at all!"
She tried to approach me with Oscar in her hands.
"Just keep an eye on the head"
"I will"She laughed.
Its body weighed quite something as it settled itself on me. The white milky reptile was strangely intriguing. The way it was coiling itself around my neck and arm. Weird enough but I think I love snakes.
"Oscar"I said as I looked into its small dots admiring its flawless body while it was staring at me.
"I think I can handle it" I said.
Ruth let go of Oscar's head who placed it on my palm.
"Ruth. What is the date today?"
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He had a bird with claws and a snake with holes on its face. What else was expected? I had been sleeping around with a snake, a tiger, perverts and a psychopath in the house.
"What are you doing here?" a dark voice laced with anger spat.
I raised my head to see his dark hooded amber eyes. They looked kinda strange. I kept rooted at my place as he proceeded towards me slowly.
"Do I have to repeat myself?" His voice became smooth and gentle.
He inclined his head to the left like a mad person with a faint lazy smile.
"What makes you think I'm answerable to you, creep?" my anger over surfaced my fake pretense as the sweet and scaredy cat.
I watched as his jaw clenched. His breaths were coming out forced. Before I could comprehend his actions, he grabbed my wounded arm and dragged me up the stairs which I complied helplessly. I didn't know what awaited me in his room but whatever it was, I knew it was not going to be pleasant.
The room was dark and hot with only the lamp as a source of light. His hand tangled into my hair. I felt like a doll, helpless and frozen and just waiting for him to crush me. I felt the shame and disgust flow over me. Indeed, it had been such a long time since I had felt this much hatred for myself. When his underlying man touched me in that cell, I felt hatred similar to this one. The hand that was sifting through my hair came to a sudden halt and grabbed onto a bundle of hair. I held his hand attempting to loosen his grip as he made me stand up. His eyes shone as he heard a pained whimper escape my lips as he was tugging onto it painfully. He was delighted by the sound. He wanted to hurt me badly. Cold fear pumped through my veins.
"You have to learn how to obey me" he said as sweetly and soothingly as possible that bellied the state he was in.
He was really angry.
I felt cold sweat covering my back as his breathing fell on my cheek. His hand was still gripping at my hair harshly. My throbbing scalp cried out. I hit the side of his stomach real hard and elbowed his jaw. He threw me on the floor. I landed on my wounded shoulder. An angry pain boomed and pierced my mind. I could hear him composing himself and closing the door. As I hissed in pain, pressing my lips together, I hoped for this man standing before me would feel any remorse. But I knew it was impossible. I could hear the gentle thuds of his feet as he came closer.
Just be brave. You can do it. I chanted the mantras in my head.
I stayed there, stiff. Terrible possibilities of what lay ahead slashed through my mind, all ending painfully. He stood there, silently and trankil while peering down at me with a dull and slightly pained expression on his face as though he didn't just do all those things. He didn't pull me, grab my hair and throw me. Those eyes held promises that he would get what he wanted. Don't fight back. I watched as he struggled momentarily for a second to crouch down.
He hovered over me and grabbed my left hand. He handcuffed it. As he tried to grab my right hand, I kicked his arm and he knocked against the wall. He recovered fast and got hold of both my wrists. I tried pushing him away and punching any part that I could reach. That earned me a backhanded slap across the face that was so hard that had me land onto the floor as my ears rang. My vision blurred and my head spun.
"Dare to anger me again. I'll see to it that you are punished"
"You want me to make you strip naked in front of everybody?"
I punched him hard on his jaw. He scoffed.
"Take back your words"I trembled with anger, giving him the ultimate death glare.
"Guess what?" I smiled evilly, lifting my hand up to lightly brush against his collarbone where a visible hickey sat.
"Only the whore can please you which clearly I'm not"I say bluntly, knowing it'll get a rise out of him.
For a second, anger or contempt or something of the like flashed through his eyes. But it was just a flash and he threw his head back in haughty laughter.
"Easy, woman"
If I didn't know him better than I did, I would have thought I was imagining it but underneath all that cockiness was his anger and agitation which he was trying to mask. People like him liked to be in control at all times. The alarming lack of restraint terrified them.
He cuffed my hands and fastened the handcuff to the makeshift bed.
"Dear hostage, please acknowledge my patience will not always be so understanding"
"You're a douchebag"
He leaned in with a glint in his eyes, just close enough that mine narrowed at the undesired proximity.
"Who feeds you almost every two hours and keeps you alive"
"Piss off"I growled to make sure there was no room in my tone for miscommunication.
"Freedom should last long enough to keep the person's mentality intact but…not so long that she gets addicted to it"
He smirked and backed away from my face, a bit too slow for my liking.
"Why don't you kill me then?"
"That's not the solution"
"Then don't expect me to behave"
He dragged me towards the makeshift bed by the handcuffs. It would be stupidity to fight him and get killed.
"Talk to me when you come to your right senses" he threw a walkie talkie on the bed.
He smiled as he uttered the last word with a very low and sweet tone whilst he leaned against the door with one hand holding the side of his waist. The idea of punishing me himself, pleased him. It was seconds later, I managed to fight the fear.
"Till then your limit is within this room's radius"
"Lisaaa" the way he said my old name sent chills down my spine. Such repugnance and anger were clearly visible.
There were those oddly different vibes radiating off him which I couldn't ignore. At the door, he turned to give a salute whilst accompanied with this creepy and sadistic smile on his face. Get your head treated at an asylum when you have so much money instead of buying weapons and animals. He was a sick man who seriously needed help, not a humble and kind person as Ruth described. With that, he left the way he had come, his dreaded promise hanging in the air, choking me. I waited to see if he would return. He never did. It was one hour later that I took the small walkie-talkie. It wouldn't be hacked to contact someone from outside since it was set to connect to specific devices.
'Good fucking riddance. I abhor his presence.'
He called me Lisa. He clearly knows everything from my birth. Maybe about my past life as well. I snorted with laughter.