~Laith~
I ran as fast as my feet could carry me. To put distance between the courtyard and myself. Not waiting to hear the stranger's response to prince Zephirin. If the deposed crown prince handled him as delicately as he did me then I was certain I knew the answer the man would give to the proposal.
Prince Zephirin was like the moon, even though he was surrounded by darkness. He has a way of lighting other people's world in a way that makes them feel like they are the center of the universe. A feeling I took for granted as he always reached forth his hand to me without fail.
Now, however, he was stretching that hand to another and I was helpless to stop him. My breathing fastens, my heartbeat racing. I blinked and missed my chance with the deposed crown prince.
I refuse to accept that enmity is all that can exist between us. I had seen the light of the passion and glimmer that radiates from the two of us being together. And I couldn't return to a reality where Zephirin wasn't in my corner, reassuring me and holding me so I wouldn't fall apart.
I clenched my hand around my robe above my chest. My heart squeezing in a lot of pain. The pang was getting worse as the image of Zephirin kissing another replayed in my mind.
Dark thoughts trailed my mind. I wanted to gouge the other male's eyes out for so much as gazing at Zephirin and cut off his neck where Zephirin planted the sweet kisses.
'Those kisses should have been mine, ' I possessively thought. I squatted on the ground. Tears streamed down my eyes in the disbelief at the situation.
My mind began to race. Was I the only one that Zephirin touched so fondly? Am I the only one with whom he protected with so much passion? The questions puzzled my mind.
Footsteps inch closer to me from the back. I could tell that it was my new guard who couldn't take a hint to leave me alone. I mean what is his problem, no one asked him to follow me around like a lost puppy.
"Do you take pleasure in making me uncomfortable? Can't you see that I don't want you here and leave, " I let out with venom in my tongue.
He wasn't the one I was angry with or needed to scold. Sezian happened to be within reach for me to vent out the frustration of having watched Zephirin kiss another.
"Who is it? "
I knitted my eyebrows at his vague question. "Who is what? " I bitterly asked.
"Which of the two men do you like?" he became clear. Words choked at my throat. My mind refused to permit me to name the subject of my affection.
I was irritated. Sezian was not a fool. He was able to connect the dots concerning the red strings of love in my heart in a matter of minutes of being in my company. It was going to be hard to keep secrets with him around watching me like a hawk. I had to get rid of him before he found out through me that Zephirin was the evil one.
"I don't need you poking your nose into my business. And you better not report anything you see or hear around me to Prince Cealan, " I warned him. My sobbing state made it impossible for me to sound threatening. I sounded like a wounded child throwing big words around an adult.
"The prince suggested me the job but it's the Saint that hired me for you. I report to you and you alone, Incirion, " he bowed his head. Refusing to move an inch and leave my side.
"I want to be alone, " I pointed out the obvious.
"Treat me like your shadow. Always there with you but never heard, " he bellowed. The vein in my head nearly exploded in frustration. Staring at the stubborn guard who refused to leave.
I ran my hand in my hair, letting loose the pins that held my hair in place. I roughened my perfectly combed hair in frustration. The glass blue butterfly pins in my hair dropped to the ground and shattered. The glass pins were similar to the pieces of my life. Too broken to put together again.
"Look what you made me do, " I complained. I was already irritated by the twists and turns my life was taking but the Saint had to shove another problem in my face in the name of protection.
"I won't judge you. Incirion or not, you are human and have the right to feel whatever you want to feel for whoever you like, " he stated like I had asked him for his opinion on the matter. Like the rest of the world, he took it upon himself to force his opinion on me without regard to whether I cared for it.
I didn't care what he thought. I meant it when I said that I was done letting others write my story for me. That included giving me opinions on what they thought of my feelings.
"They are my feelings. What business is it of yours to have an opinion on them? " I asked him. "Would you express such thoughts if it was a common man in the street? "
I think not. People only dare to be so daring with me. Being the Incirion had somehow made me a public property. Everyone seemed to believe they had a right to me.
Sezian looked at me in shock. His mouth was slightly open without words to give answers to my questions.
"I have been tasked with the responsibility to protect the world from evil. That doesn't mean the world gets to decide how I live my life, " I spat out harshly. I was at my limits with people, it was the last I heard of others having opinions on my life. "I will do as I please and you will keep your opinions to yourself, " I let out and stormed off.
I needed the deposed prince. He is the only one who understands, protects, and respects me. He gives advice but never lets out an opinion on what I do. He accepts what I feel and stands to offer a supporting hand. It vexed me to know that he was occupied by an undeserving male whom he chose as his form of distraction.
It felt worse to admit that I was jealous of his distraction.