There are a lot of things said about memories. Memories are said to make one just sad for life, bitter or toxic, and sometimes numb. It is said that memories change one to either become a better version of oneself or to become a lot worse.
But it was so different for me. At first, it made me think about a lot of things, like how I was supposed to live life alone, and how I was going to go through the remaining stages of life on my own. How I was supposed to be the person I always wanted to be without the presence of those things going on in my memory.
Some say memories come and go, but I'm pretty sure this memory has come to stay. It is never going to fade. It's going to keep playing in my head like a recorded tape on repeat.
I wish the memory never became part of my memories. I wish it never happened. But it happened, it happened and now it's haunting me.
I wish I was a robot, instead of being covered in this fur of a night creature that feels every emotion a thousand times more than a human being! If I was a robot I could delete this exact memory forever so it wouldn't have to hurt this much.
It's the most heartbreaking thing to happen to any creature that creeps onto the face of this earth. Be it human or animal, insect or anything at all!
If memories were files, I could just delete them, or rewrite the file. But it's a file that cannot be edited or deleted.
These memories have changed me, these memories have created homes in my already void heart. These memories have changed my perspective on life. These memories have made me seek revenge.
This is not a memory of losing a friend because it's more than that, this is not a memory of losing a boyfriend to another girl or boy, because it's more than that. This is not a memory of having your boyfriend or lover leave you, because it is more than that, and this is definitely not a memory that you just wish to go away, because each time I wished, the memory got stronger and clearer. That wrong tape on repeat got louder and slower.
You know, there are a lot of things memories have done to people and one of those things is suicide. One starts to have suicidal thoughts. One begins to feel uncomfortable in their own skin and begins to cut themselves, trying to get rid of the skin that gave them those memories.
But then, I don't have to kill myself because I already feel dead. I don't have to cut myself because I'll fucking heal immediately! I don't try to get rid of my skin because I feel like I'm already shedding. And all these things mean the world to me because a lone wolf is either too strong or too weak.
A lone wolf actually feels dead without a backup from his pack. A lone wolf is actually healing from his wounds but with thoughts on revenge. A lone wolf is naked and doesn't have to remove the only thing that gives him warmth â its fur.
It threads lightly because it knows it's prone to the danger of the night. It works smart and not hard. It knows working hard would only make him weak faster. So he doesn't try to work hard. Only calculating his steps and action. Following its prey behind till it devours it.
Its plan is simple and short. Take from them what they took from it. It didn't matter how much time it'd take. It just wanted its revenge.
It wanted them to go through the same pain it had gone through.
The pain of seeing your own family murdered in cold blood with your young eyes. A young wolf saw that and had to be alone for years till it grew to maturity.
It wanted to be strong enough to face the pack that killed its pack. It wanted to be smart enough to beat them at their own game. It wanted to make sure that they didn't see it coming.
That wolf became one of them and decided to work on the inside. Each member per day before it got to his main prey. The Alpha itself.
Trust me when I tell you, that, that wolf knows it will die in the process or might die, but it doesn't care. If it has to die trying, so be it. And it didn't care how long it took to get back its revenge.
This lone wolf had nothing to lose, but a lot to gain. At least that's what it thinks and that's what its going to work with.
This wolf is full of rage and anger. Full of so much hate for the pack that took its family from her. But to beat them, it has to become one of them.
The thought makes its skin crawl. But then, it remembers it is on a mission and it shakes off that feeling of disgust.
It goes ahead with its first phase of becoming one of them and it succeeds.
The new Alpha is trying to right his father's wrongs so he decides to adopt lone wolves.
To create an alliance and to widen his pack. What he doesn't know is that he had adopted his own enemies.
This makes this wolf's plan much easier.
It still has to harbor the pain of seeing other families be happy around themselves, while it gets to suffer.
In ancient times, wolves have been able to turn humans that could feel human emotions but ten times more, if not a hundred.
Every time it sees those families get to be happy, the pain increases and its rage does too.
My name is Vivian Dongalion, I am that lone wolf, and I am going to get my revenge!