Asher
Brenton
I spaced out often, not because of Kalina's rants as we strolled near the garden, but because I didn't trust myself to focus on her often. It would freak me out more than her. I was hell bent on keeping her away from me, but the sad glints in her eyes made me imagine that it was Averly when Leslie used to cheat on her.
So, I felt like parts of Kalina reminded me of my sister. I couldn't afford to put up a strong front of rejection. At some point amongst my anxiety and my untamed mind, I forgot how to pretend to hate Kalina. It was easier when Vera was around, but the reckless half gave her sister a thumbs up to meet me.
She stopped, her eyes fluttered at me from the snow that dusted her eyes. "What are you thinking?" She tilted her head, her grayish blue irises alight.
"Not much." I awkwardly whispered and she blushed when I glimpsed at her.
"Not much sounds interesting." She fixed her sweater with one hand while the other remained on her side. Her trials made me appreciate her internally, but I had no hope for anything in future with her. My overthinking made me accept that.
"Well," I added, "I was actually thinking about going to Winterland tomorrow, would you want to come?" I asked, my hands shivered slightly from my apprehension.
She beamed at me as she replied, "I would like to! I-I mean yes." She fumbled as she fidgeted with her hands, her eyes downcast in shyness before she looked up at me again.
We were standing and I didn't know what else to say, my energy drained from my first social interaction as I noticed that we lasted a total of half an hour, less talk for me and more from her side.
I could never be good for anyone. I cornered myself again. Kalina was out of my league, she was a better person than me, she was an open book while I was a closed one.
Then why the heck did I invite her to hang out with me?
She snapped her fingers at me as her big eyes told me to come back to earth, "Well, thank you for walking me, I have to go back home to study for the finals." She justified with pink cheeks.
I nodded as she waved and rounded to the corner of the tiny aligned bookstores.
Jocelyn finally made a move just like I expected her to. A visit to Leslie's family was what she had plotted and I was going to blow whatever assumptions she told his parents about me.
As I turned around with a determined mindset, I thought about how easier I made his death when he made my sister a traumatic one, I finally halted in front of Leslie's house. It was a modern villa with white window panes and a Victorian style entrance door, I knocked on it impatiently and a woman opened for me. She raised an eyebrow at me with hostility in her eyes, I could understand why since I killed her son.
But she didn't have to know that. I couldn't just ask her directly either.
"What do you want?" She snapped.
"Is Jocelyn still in there?" I questioned.
"She went right after telling us that Leslie's death was no accident. Perhaps you might know about this?" She insinuated.
"No, I don't know Leslie. I just saw him around school." I pretended to be clueless just like I did with Kalina. But something was amis, I didn't know what was it, if Jocelyn wanted to out me so bad then why did she keep my name out of it?
That girl despised that I was even alive.
"Sweetheart, who's at the door?" A man's deep voice called and she huffed as she turned back around.
"Just a school friend of Leslie's." She shouted before she faced me. "Go on, tell me how did Leslie die?" She sneered at me.
"I don't know ma'am, maybe you should ask the police."
"Then piss off." She snapped and bashed the door close once I stepped away.
Leslie's mom was more sane than mine at least.
I clicked my tongue and strolled some more to Jocelyn's house to see what she had to impress me with. Fortunately, my house and Jocelyn's and Vera's were pretty close to each other, much to the drama that was about to be caused, I didn't care about anyone or anything.
I wanted nothing to lose, it would make my suicide much easier with nobody around. I would die peacefully just like I wished.
No more loud noises in my head.