Damn her. Damn that Hokage. Just because he'd failed at the Chuunin exams once again, she'd sent him back to the academy.
Uzumaki Maguro slammed his fist on the desk. Children had begun taking their seats all around him.
"Are you our sensei?" A girl with pale eyes and black twintails asked.
Of course she would think that. Maguro was 29 years old, afterall.
Maguro smiled confidently, then walked to the front of the classroom. He stepped up on top of the teacher's desk and looked over the twerps he would have to attend class with.
Besides the Hyuuga who had addressed him, there were 4 other students here. There was a boy with messy tawny hair and bright eyes fixed on Maguro in anticipation. The boy beside him was clean-cut and more composed, but from the twitching of his mouth, it was apparent that he could barely contain his excitement as well. Was he an Uchiha? He sure looked it.
There was the blonde girl. She had an adorable angular face, but she shyly turned away as soon as Maguro looked at her. And in the front, but off to the side, a girl with unearthly white hair, who he'd never seen before sat alone. She was the youngest of the lot, but there was an air of solemn maturity behind those pale violet eyes of hers.
Maguro raised his arms to the air. "I am Uzumaki Maguro, the descendant of the legendary hero, and all of you will have the honor of learning from me!
"Wow, you're amazing, Maguro-sensei!" The messy-haired boy shouted. The Uchiha let out a gasp of awe.
"To show you how great I am, I will demonstrate the most powerful technique in all of Ninjutsu. It has been passed down through my clan for generations. Take notes. This will be on the exam." Maguro made the hand-signs and…
Turned into a curvy, nude, female version of himself.
The two boys fell to opposite sides. The shy girl blushed brightly and fell face-forward onto her desk. The white-haired girl in the back was paying him mind for the first time. Her eyes had widened a bit and she seemed to be stunned into silence.
The Hyuuga girl actually burst out laughing and banged her fist against her desk a couple of times. When she could finally manage to get some words out, she said, "Oh, right! Such a powerful technique, Maguro-sensei." She placed a hand on her chin, and grinned broadly. "Why don't you show us another, since you're soooo great. Maybe a useful one?"
Maguro stomped his foot. "Don't underestimate the Sexy Jutsu. Just look around you at how many students I've incaspatulated."
She looked at the 3 unconscious students. "Well, I guess that will work on perverts, but show us something that will work in any situation."
"Fine then! The great Maguro will show you the fire shield he has been working on." He hadn't really finished this technique, but he would have to go all out now.
He made the hand-signs ending in the sign of the dragon. "Fire Release: Furious Lizard Flame Conversation!" he shouted.
He let his chakra flow out, all over his body. He could feel his body warming up. He could feel… wait! That was too much! Fuck! It hurt! He was on fire!
Maguro jumped of the desk and ran until he slammed into a wall. Then he ran towards the opposite wall.
"Stop, drop, and roll," He heard one student say. Of course! The secret art of fire extinguishing. He fell to the floor and rolled. And he stopped. He was in pain all over, but he didn't see any fire.
He was looking up at another adult who must have just entered the classroom. The man's jaw hung open.
***
Maguro's eyes opened. He still hurt all over, but he definitely wasn't on fire. He was in a bed, and it looked like he was wrapped in bandages. From head to toe it seemed like.
"Lady Hokage, he's just through this door," Maguro heard through door. The door slammed open and Takara glared at Maguro.
"So you're the idiot who set himself on fire. Of course you are," the woman standing next to her assistant said. She had long flowing black hair that sparkled when the light caught it just right and eyes like the ocean.
"I'm on the verge of perfecting my ultimate fire shield! And once its done, I'll be indestructible! You won't even be able to touch me. Then you'll have to admit how great I am!"
Takara sighed. "I've cut you a lot of slack because you're my former squad mate, but if you do something that stupid again, I'm going to remove you from the shinobi program altogether."
"Haven't you done enough to me!? You always thought you were better than me. Is this your way to humiliate me, sending me back to the academy!?"
Takara put a hand on the side of her eye as her eye twitched. She took in a deep breath. "Maguro. I sent you back to the academy because you never mastered the fundamentals. I'm trying to help you, but you need to put in the proper effort."
"The hell would you know about effort!? The all-powerful Takara, born with a unique power that just fucks over anything and everyone. You were practically guaranteed to become hokage, the moment you were born."
"This isn't a game, Maguro. Power and titles are meaningless if pursued for their own sake."
Just then, another man in green flak burst into the room. "Lady Hokage!" He panted a few times, before continuing. "Urgent news of the Corruption. You're needed back in your office at once."
"I'll make this quick then." Takara held a single hand-seal and her body began to sparkle. The sparkles in her hair grew larger until they looked like stars. Then, entire swirls of galaxy appeared across her entire body.
The room around him seemed to have disappeared except for the bed as Takara approached him and laid a hand on his chest. "Creation Chakra Mode: Rebirth"
Maguro had been subject to this technique countless times, yet he never did get used to it. How could he? All in a split second, he perceived some huge explosion, dust and rocks swirling. The Earth. Giant lizards. Animals flashing by. Cities rise from nothing. A dark warm place. Then a bright light and the sound of crying. His life flashed before his eyes.
Then he was back in the hospital room. No one had moved. Nothing had changed. Except he was no longer in pain and he knew all of his wounds were healed.
***
Maguro stood knee deep in the river. He was a little charred, but practicing this technique in the water was safer. He made the hand-signs over and over, immediately plunging into the water as soon as his fire shield activated.
"Put in the proper effort," she'd said. As if he hadn't always!? He worked 100 times harder than her!
"Hey! Mr. Maguro!"
Maguro turned his head. It was one of the kids from the academy, the boy with the messy hair who had shown Maguro the respect he deserved. "I thought your fire move was really funny."
Maguro sighed and stared down at the water. "Oh, uh… thanks, kid."
"My name is Kurama Hanjiro. Can you teach me how to use the fire shield too?"
Maguro perked up at this. "Oh! You want to learn from the legendary hero, Maguro? I don't know… My techniques are all powerful forbidden jutsu. In fact, the hokage herself is afraid when I use these techniques."
Hanjiro looked a bit hesitant, then clutched a fist. "You can do it, Mr. Maguro!"
"Hmm. Alright. So, this is an incomplete technique, but I've been thinking. My shield is too powerful! That's why I get burned. So, I just need an even more powerful shield to protect me from my shield!"
"Ah! You're a genius, Mr. Maguro. So, how do you use the other shield?":
"Well, I haven't tested it yet, but here goes!" Maguro made the hand-signs, then shouted, "Eel-ectric Stupification Jutsu!"
Sparks flew from his body, conducted by the water. His arms and legs convulsed and he fell backwards. He vaguely remembered footsteps running towards him and Hanjiro's voice before passing out.