"Brittany will be here too. Everything will be fine. We don't have to sit beside each other. We're here to study. Yeah, study. Nothing else. Brittany will make sure we focus on what's important. She's strict when it comes to schoolwork. I'll be fine. Everything will be fine."
I paced the length of my room, nervously digging my fingers into my curls and clutching at it helplessly as I repeated the mantra that everything would be fine, over and over again.
But nothing would be fine.
I had wondered what it was before, but now I was quite certain.
I was attracted to Vasilis.
I was attracted to him, and nothing about my attraction was mild or subtle or calm.
I was violently attracted to him, and it was the scariest thing that had ever happened to me.
Remember that I'd almost gotten kidnapped before in Turkey? Yeah. And I lived with shady parents who had crazy business opponents that were constantly chasing after and attempting to kill us?
But my attraction to a boy was somehow scarier than all of that.
I wanted to laugh, or cry, or maybe yell?
I'd never been attracted to anyone in that way ever before. The most I'd had were celebrity crushes, and I had a new one every other week, depending on whatever show I was currently obsessed with.
I'd never been that physically attracted to someone that was within close proximity before, and I didn't know what to do with myself.
I wasn't even sure if it was a healthy type of attraction. It definitely didn't feel healthy to feel the intense urge to kiss someone I barely even knew anytime they were within three feet radius of me.
Or was it because I'd been so starved of human contact and affection for so long, and now my body was reacting irrationally at the smallest bit of humanly contact after so many years of perpetual isolation?
Yeah, that was probably it. Nothing else made enough sense but that.
But I'd had more contact with other people. Aiko had hugged me, weird as that was, and Brittany had hugged me too. I hadn't felt electricity running through my body during those times.
But somehow, a single touch from Vasilis was managing to turn my world completely upside down?
I slumped on a sofa and buried my face into the soft, velvety cushion as a strangled groan ripped itself from my lungs.
They were to arrive in a little under thirty minutes, and I was not ready yet.
Well I was ready physically, but mentally I was not ready to have people in my house.
To have Vasilis in my house.
I'd gotten up at the crack of dawn after tossing and turning in bed all night. I hadn't been able to sleep because I had been unable to stop thinking about how his fingers had felt on mine. How I'd started to imagine having his fingers on other parts of my body.
That was so inappropriate!
And then I began to worry about having him here. What if I had those inappropriate thoughts while he was around and somehow he hears them? I mean, I knew that was impossible and ridiculous, but still! The idea filled me with such dread, that I hadn't been able to sleep a wink.
I had already decided we absolutely should not study in my room.
Oh no. Hell no.
Even though my lounge/reading area had a small library Dad had curated specially for me, and would be the perfect place to study.
Instead, I'd asked Mr. Edward to help me get one of the lounges downstairs ready. All I had to do was bring my school bag and other books we would need. The house library was still under construction, so we couldn't study in there yet.
It was better that way, not studying in my room. Less risky.
My parents weren't home, like dad had mentioned. They were at a meeting and wouldn't be back home until sometime the next week. But I'd told them I was having friends over, so they could inform the security team and not cause any hassle.
Mom had wanted to argue against me having people in the house, even if they were kids from school, but dad had swooped in calmly and convinced her that it was great I was finally making friends, and that since the project was super important, we needed the right space to work in.
She'd agreed begrudgingly after that, and I hadn't dared tell her that I would be going over to Brittany's house in two weeks for our next study session, because we had agreed to rotate it.
I knew Mom would absolutely flip out, and I decided to cross that bridge later when we got to it.
Brittany and Vasilis arrived at exactly 12:30pm, like we'd agreed on.
I stood in the control room, watching them through the drone cameras as the gates opened and they drove in.
Brittany was the one driving, she drove a black Porsche, and Vasilis was sitting very still next to her. They both looked so uncomfortable together, I laughed a little and it helped ease some of my nerves.
Then a while after, the front door bell was ringing, and I was sprinting through the house to get to it.
I pulled the door open, chest heaving. Brittany rushed in to throw her arms around me for a hug.
"HOLY SHIT JADE!" She was screaming, her emerald eyes wide in astonishment. "THIS IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL HOUSE I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE. WHAT THE FUCK!!!!"
I laughed as we pulled apart from the hug, and scratched my head as I said, "Thank you," because I didn't know what else to say.
"Oh my God! I HAVE to explore!" Brittany continued as she walked further into the foyer, skipping around the house like a child. I simply shook my head and laughed. She was so cute.
But the other presence still darkening the doorway snatched my attention back to his looming self, and I turned my head to meet Vasilis's dark, burning gaze.
He stood tall, dressed in a plain black crew-neck sweater and black ripped jeans, with his head phones hanging around his neck, and his hair let loose in a dreamy cadence of curls that framed his gorgeous face.
It was the first time I'd seen him in casual clothes, and my stomach lurched at how much more attractive he was, standing there with his hands in his pockets.
The crawling spider tattoo I'd glimpsed the other day on his neck was out in plain sight because of the round crew-necked cut of his sweater, and he appeared a bit uneasy.
I hadn't thought it was possible for him to look even better than he did in uniform, but there he was, gorgeous beyond belief.
"What are you doing just standing there?" I offered a smile, hoping that the desperation of my attraction wasn't obvious on my face. "Come in!"
Vasilis's shoulders seemed to relax slightly at my invitation, and he hesitated for a moment longer, before he then smiled and walked in.
I shut the door behind us, heart in my throat.