"Oookay Staph!" yawned a guard.
I was a little tripped from what I heard- Twas assuming this trip to the town would be as our beloved classic fantasy shit. However the guard there said Staph for stop, lazing in their stools, shoulders hung and relaxed.
Not ones who stood a statue and on guard like regular fantasy stories.
Dressed with rather minimal steel, a lean breastplate held tight by leather straps with pauldrons of same metal made, where in their chests a symbol dignified these lazy grunts, four wings of white within a golden circle- the mark of the Deity-King.
Helmets on their knees and on flattened barren floor they sat- a bunch of lazy grunts.
This was not it.
"Ain't it supposed to be 'HALT!'" soft a whisper, I enacted my best fantasy-guard act and voice, thinking it safe for mocking them a tad from the distance.
I took up my oldman's bulls-eye accuracy in hitting the funny bones, Rip shredded some laughter and there we fucking were before the huge fucking gate and the loafing lazy guards.
This might be how children felt when playing make believes, I was deep in living that fantasy.
The stone walls of tall, where plants hang and dressed them all in-betwixt their cracks.
Two little shed like roofs in the top, more like a tower where in each sides of the gate they stood as two scouts slept in the chilled breeze under roofs of wooden made- in makeshift shabby hammocks which had holes in them likely an air conditioning for their behinds as they swang ever so slowly- Another lazy day, swing swing away, drifting away from the fantasy realism we were used to or maybe this is how it really were everywhere, lazy grunts in times of peace?
Are these peaceful times? I most definitely did not know.
We even met a rather spiteful tongue;
"It's not supposed to be HALT!" the guard imitated thine with emphasis on the HALT, he most definitely heard me.
"He a newbie?" he asks Rip with rather a lazy lid- slowly unveiling his sleepy eyes, slowly with the neck as he craned up and towards him.
"Yeah Serpin! Found him lost, naked with nothing and crying on the forest, dressed him best I could but his feet's still bare so I had to bring him here." Rip replied with a smile.
"Why're telling me this? You're wasting my time there you know.. time is gold and if we had our time back we will go back to HALT!-ting around." He didn't have to take offense to what I said- he further continued, "…and perhaps you could sneak this little noob who don't even have an ID yet!" he says, sounding like a grumbling sleep talk of sorts, "And for having our time, that would require you to add in more gold also for the sarcasm and a lil bit more for the time I used in explaining all that and that finally leads us to two more for explaining this and another for calculations."
"Calculations?" the tongue spat for I were ready to even think of saying it.
"Yes! One gold for taking my time, another for my breath, one for you being a noob and for walking bare-footed, add another one for let's say sarcastic kindness, half a gold for HALT!-ting, half for your hair cause that's a whole nother person. If you say 'Nay!' or decline that's not a person then that's half another gold and if you say it is an umbrella home grown that'll cost you four more for disrupting the umbrella business in the town and from all that–," he yawns, ",it would require you one more gold for checking your hair, another half for getting off this seat, one and a half Oh so very glittering gold for having to check your stupid hair, I might've just added that in already but fuck it and finally one for this calculation and another for taking me this long for calculating.. That'll be just fiddy gold cause we're too lazy to say twenty right boys?" he called, "Twent.." they all sang a choir in a low gruff, "Anddd another five for the boys talking, so that'll be fiddy-fi- fuck it sixty. Sixty golds cause we're bad at Math. Right boys?"
"Bad!", "Hopeless.", "Death!" And "All F's." answered the other lot, their voices- all came together- said together like giving parts in choirs.
All in the while, Rip and I could not have spoke, nor there were time.
Rip simply smiled at the guard, while the guard added up his calculations all while keeping a lazy unblinking eye at yours truly.
"Now the price of all that will be seventy gold!" he put his price- a lazy palm lazily held out for a deposit.
"Seventy's a hard-working word, longer than twenty!" I retort, a smile and tone of kindness calm.
"Eighty's a lazy word.. ya know!?" he struck back.
"I think twenty's just the right relaxed word!"
"Hunnid! And that just rolled outta my mouth," he tapped his tongue, "See there?! I wasn't even saying anything!" he intensified the air around.
I met my match in tongue but I would not retreat so easy, No one shall reign over me!
My eyes might've been blinking furious his was still rather lazy.
I would've gave another throw on words until, "Here!" proffered Rip, teasing a pouch of gold swinging it left right before Serpin's eye.
"Seventy?" he asks, his eye fixated immediately on the pouch, left right they followed.
"Seventy!" Rip reassured.
Serpin loosened the little rope of the mouth of the pouch, and his eyes turned to a hue of the blue screen which all players or Descents knew.
"That's seventy! Which means you guys are just my little bothersome nightmare, I'm going back to sleep. Boys?" he called, "Do we hope to remember these two little nightmares when we wake up?"
"Nope!" they answered.
And so we took our tall little steps in.
Not a far walked was the barren road, which then snaked upto the hill.
"Peaceful times?" a question asked.
"More or less, Serpin's a friend, greedy player but you know how it is, he started working there before people knew they could actually get cash from here, I'm guessing he already knew about it.. and there's a barrack just over there past the trees so no one's life is always in danger, also like animals as I've heard beasts and monsters stay clear of humans.." Rip handed out infos.
"Maybe we're the apex in here too!" I proposed, "Maybe.." he complied then we walked on.
The hole in the hill now looked more a deadly cave where little spikes of rocks pointed down from up, and up from down, "Where'd the water come from?" glimmering eyes of wonder asks my guide, waterfalls were always a delight.
"You'd find out for yourselves soon.. very soon!"
"Are we going in there?" I pointed to a house on top a lake of sorts, where the waterfall first impacted the ground, a somewhat massive lake- constantly with little vibrations where then they flowed a stream down to Sunder-Bloom forest.
They put a shallow wall of rocks around the lake and along the stream, a single construct stood with loads of guards guarding about.
Only a single yet large construct stood- with a single storey just besides the lake, half of the building was over the water with tall foundations submerged under.
"We'll rent a cart in there, I'll get you around the tourist way." Said Rip, "It's fun to ride that elevator but you're a tourist and you'll be getting the tourist treatment."
Besides the inn was a massive slab of stones in a circle with familiar runic carvings which shone with the same purples that purples. It was a place that Rip dubbed as the elevator. Another massive circling slab of rock with the same runic pillars slowly levitated up just besides the waterfall that flowed from the gargantuan cave-like-maw of the hill- and on towards the town on top the hill it went, "Elevator!"
Rip presented.
I was not impressed, "We have these at home ya know!"
"No we don't," he was quick to correct yours truly, "More on that later, come!"
Making closer steps I find that the whole place was huge, with training dummies and targets all round.
An inn where guards and many a folk of humans and ears and snouts of all beastmen and Descents with their own unique themes mobbed about, it was busy and noises of them all mated for a capital hum of noises.
We headed to the counter, it was clear we stood out particularly I yet not one of them seemed to mind, even my afro which I thought would conjure two maybe three blinks.
"I thought I'd be stared-at or something?" I commented to Rip.
"Well bro! You ain't their first Stars-Descent you know?!"
He then lead me to the Inn where noises multiplied more and morer as we got closer, standing our tall stature in front of the counter, "Take a look inside." Rip presented me a whole building of players, of us.
What a weird and colorful bunch we were, wild hairs and more, lingerie armor wearing hotties and prudish cheeks of full clothed beauties blushing when seeing the hotties, full armored men and hoodie wearing freaks in the warm sun with their long over-coat counterparts- all different breeds of styled everyone, they drank some beer and roared and sang, all these folks were bustling.
It were true to say the smiles in the inn did not mourn the death of Muller, their hearty guffaws and songs celebrated his life and all descents rejoiced the life he gifted all.
"Something must've been good, Y'all kind left all together, like ducks migrating then you came back the same but with more cheeky smiles in all o'yer faces, it bugs the ears but good money you lot are." Said the plum bosoms of the innkeeper, a stout strong woman in her forties.
"Awesome!" I could only exclaim, "Let's go in!" I immediately stepped a foot.
"Uh-Uh-Uh-Uh!" Rip held and pulled me back by the afro, "Without an ID the inn won't serve ya!"
"Fuck all hecks!"
'The hotties!' I gloomed, my little minor boner gloomed.
The little fermenting whites in the balls gloomed.
My perversion gloomed.
"First Mission: Get an ID! Second: Bitches!" words which then compelled me to not feel gloom but rather to erase it with the promise of pent-up lust flushing out all in an ejaculating moment.
With dilated eyes of blue and lips full of drools, "Lead the way sensei." I bowed.
"Very well!" he said, "Rent us a cart ride to the top please."
"That'll be two golds!" said the innkeeper.