The next moments were honestly a blur for him, how he got back from the dungeon when he took the bus or walked, his body covered in the blood of the three people he killed as he walked through the slums, drew the gazes of many of those who would normally beg for credits or food.
Instead, they hid in their small wooden crates or cardboard homes, waiting for the almond-skinned orc to pass through.
Click!
He managed to open the door, his hands trembling because of his minds imbalance... pushing through the door, there was the thick scent of a woman's lust and estrus that was slowly fading as light footsteps darted towards him, a cute dark-skinned girl, wearing a cheap cloth apron, stained with what seemed to be tomato sauce and other foods, as the scent of a slightly sour, but fragrant meal drifted from the kitchen.
"Welcome home, Raven! Eh... What's the matter? You're crying. Is there something wrong... oh no, you're covered in blood?"
The next moment Lilith rushed towards him, her hands and actions nothing like the usual cheeky girl; instead, she checked his body from head to toe, making sure he was alright, then the small cuts that remained she gave them a gentle peck with her soft lips.
"You need to be more careful... the matron said a kiss can only heal light wounds..."
Raven stood in a daze, taking a moment to realise she was speaking as she believed in the old tales that mothers and older women would tell children about how their kiss would remove the pain, which struck a strange chord in his chest as he began to bellow with loud laughter, his mind troubled.
Still, the feeling of someone waiting at home brought him the smallest amount of solace, a little portion of him saved from madness and regret.
His huge body leaned down, hugging tightly onto the soft body of Lilith, lifting her into the air as they embraced each other tightly; her face was filled with a colourful blush as she tapped his shoulders.
"I have to finish dinner... It's not much... okay?"
"Please... Just for a little longer..."
Lilith gave a small pout before surrendering to his hopeless dull eyes, leaning into their tight embrace, stroking his silky black hair and looking at him curiously. Raven became more youthful, losing some of that middle-aged edge, looking the same age as Lilith.
"Did something bad happen today...? You seemed so happy last time, but now... It makes my chest tight just looking at you... Raven..."
He took a moment, his eyes showing various emotions, trying to speak, wanting to make an excuse or some grand reason, but he couldn't.
Those purple eyes, no matter what lies he could spin, his chest throbbed, became tight and instead, his hands grasped her tighter, pushing his face into her neck as her scent soothed his erratic nerves and chaotic thoughts.
"Today...."
"Today?" Her hands now twisting and massaging the back of his head, hot breath from his nose and lips causing her to shudder a little, but she remained serious, her face different from the usual playful Lilith, like she was the big sister or older woman now.
"I took a human life for the first time...."
"Three people...."
The moment he told the truth, his chest tightened, his huge hands grasping tightly onto Lilith's thin frame like a drowning man seeking some buoy or lifeline to keep afloat.
Her lips smacked, and her body seemed to tremble as she hummed slightly before Raven felt a warm touch, her lips pressing against his forehead as she pulled his large body down, now resting his head on her bosom, forcing him to bend a little.
"You had a hard time, didn't you?" Lilith's voice was gentle but like a mother's, as her eyes looked at the cabinet with the images of a young Raven.
A subtle brilliant glow started to shine from deep within her eyes.
"Ah..."
"They tried to kill you, right?"
He hesitated, believing it was his fault for being born an orc, before he shook his head.
"Ah.... that's right..."
Lilith began to stroke his cheeks and head, her voice like his only guiding signal through his mind's blurry and clouded state, her fingers like signposts, her voice like a train platform announcement.
"Then it's okay; it's all okay...."
"How...?"
"Do you blame yourself? Do you regret killing them?"
His eyes were like shining amethyst, more vibrant than his neon eyes, as she lowered her head, looking directly into his eyes, as her thumbs stroked his cheeks, squishing the soft meat gently.
"I... I would have died.... but... I could have let them live..."
"Then wouldn't others have suffered your fate?"
Raven felt stunned when her eyes looked into his; it was like this young woman could see the future, see everything that happened and have all the answers to his questions, the sensation like when he viewed the first mural of the manticore.
"They were demi hunters.... likely many demihumans would have died..."
"Hmmm..."
"Did you do bad things to them?"
His body trembled, the remains of their bodies, both males were tortured for what seemed to be hours, their bones so fragile and crushed when he kicked them, they were like bones of skin... While Marie... he knew what he had done with her mouth, how he drained her very life using his cultivation technique in a foul and disgusting way... stealing the pink energy AND taking back the purple energy leaving her an empty husk, before snapping her neck.
"I don't think they deserved peace or mercy... But... my mind... it's confusing and chaotic!"
"You cannot forgive yourself, can you, Raven?"
He opened his mouth, frozen for several moments it was the truth, the moment he found his power increased and he gained a class... The guilt vanished for a moment, which only caused him to feel even worse when the adrenaline of battle faded.
"I..."
"It's okay, shhh..."
Lilith's fingers began to stroke under his eyes as if he was crying, but there were no tears; there never were. Yet he never refuted her words when she asked why he was crying earlier because inside, he was.
Like a child, the act of murder for the first time as a normal male who worked in a business for years.
He wasn't a hardened warrior, part of the army or even a true adventurer, although his mother said the world was filled with filth and dirt. To protect him, she was never too direct, wanting him to learn on his own.
Now he was learning, with his own hands stained with blood.
"I... I cannot forgive myself, even if they were human scum..."
'I cannot kill without reason...'
His mind was focused as once again Lilith's warm lips pressed against him with a gentle peck, smacking against his cheeks one by one, then moving to his lips as she kissed Raven for the first time before pulling back after a few seconds passed, a light sound fo their lips coming together filling their ears, as she looked at him with brightly lit purple eyes, large amounts of the dark and chaotic purple energy pouring into her body as refreshing and brilliant purple energy filled him.
It wasn't the dirty purple with black, but pure purples, like Lilith's wonderous eyes or the marking on their bodies.
"If you cannot forgive yourself, then don't. Wait until you are ready."
"Eh?"
"Until then, I will forgive you, accept your sins, and carry them with you. You saved me from that lonely hell; how can I sit around doing nothing while you fight alone in those dark dungeons?"
Her eyes were affectionate, and he felt the energy from his body filling hers, causing her to grow a few centimetres in height; her face became more beautiful, with Lilith's Ameythst eyes more charming and soothing than before.
She stroked his cheek with a faint smile, brushing away the sense of fear and dread towards his powers, like a lighthouse guiding him to shore.
"You will go that far? We've only just met... I merely gave you a place to stay?"
He didn't feel a strong romantic feeling for Lilith, but in this soothing moment, she had managed to make a small opening in his heart; he felt his mind clearing up as her hand stroked him, slowly removing the black, dirty energy as only a pure purple mist flowed through his body as if that darkness was corruption, self-doubt and his sins.
Raven couldn't know how much his actions and presence saved her over the years, just like Lilith didn't know that she also saved him, at this moment when her words and the energy changed as if to make him, not force him to believe her words, lightening the load on his heart and mind.
The pair looked into each other's eyes, both vibrantly glistening and wet as they leaned closer, their lips almost brushing together.
Bubble! Ssssst!
A loud bang and hissing sound came from the kitchen as they snapped out of their moment, Lilith giving a wry smile as she pulled out of his arms, her height now closer to his as she skipped into the kitchen, her bright face red with her hands covering her chest.
"My heart is moving so fast....ahh.... what was that!?" She said in her usual voice, no longer the mature and motherly tone.
"Eh!? I'm so tall now!! So cool I can reach the top cupboard, Ah! Don't burn.... pasta, and don't overboil!!!! Ahhhhh!"
Meanwhile, Raven at the door looked upwards, his body feeling refreshed as the cute voice in the kitchen caused him to smile wryly.
"Mother... I cannot accept the dark world of an adventurer as I am now; my heart is far too soft."
He looked down towards the cabinet and then the kitchen as the loud banging and slamming of pans resounded.
"But with her... For her... and the future. I will do my best to change and accept your words and this way of life."
"If I don't kill them first, they will kill me and everything I care for."
Once he finished whispering, the sounds in the kitchen began to irritate him, so he flung off his suit jacket, grabbed his apron from the hangar, and dashed into the kitchen.
"Alright, what's wrong? Let's make dinner! Put more water in that pan, and we'll boil a new pasta set! Mmmm, you did the tomato well! Let's salvage this; a bit more salt and pepper, and it's good! How is the meat... good! Let's finish together!"
"Mmmm....!"
Thanks to his long years of practice, the two began to salvage her meal as he gently taught her timers, when to remove the pasta, and if she liked it a certain way. He also gave specific times for each type and brand of pasta they owned.
An hour later, as if the moment at the door never happened, the pair sat down and ate a tomato and meatball dish because she overcooked the spaghetti they went with farfalle!
As the meal went on, Raven lowered his fork, looking at the beautiful woman now eating the pasta like a beast, with tomato sauce around her lips, nothing like the charming and motherly woman that helped him take the first step out of despair.
He opened his mouth as she looked up, still sucking on a large beef meatball with a slurp.
"Lilith, will you come into the dungeon with me, not as a helper or luggage carrier, but as my partner?"