Where did I leave you guys off? Ahh I see I remember what happened. So Christine is in my arms isn't she? Ok here we go.
What she did after that really shocked me, she moved closer and wrapped her arms around me this gesture left no space between our bodies, this is a lethal range only a few excellent people can hold back their hormones and not get hard, but inevitably it bulged up and poined at her, did she feel it? I don't know, till this very day she has never let me know and I have never bothered to ask I got tense I had a feeling that this was going to be a kiss, but I wasn't quite sure yet, I let her lead, she looked at me and I at her, and then she said.
"Were you expecting something Cinderella? Look at you, you are already numb to the knees, almost thought I was going to Smooch with you didn't you" she casually says
"I mean, it wouldn't have been a bad idea, but no way I was actually expecting a squeeze since you're such a cave lady, hah" I replied
"William! Argh take it back I am not a cave lady, I am a well mannered young lady," she mutters
" Unless you take back what you said about me being a princess" I replied
Christine: aww William but you are a cute princess.
"No I'm not!" I yelled.
We frolicked for quite a while, but then we hit the road heading back home, the road was empty and quiet but the two of us didn't let the quietness bother us because we had eachother's company.
She was singing some popular song which was rather annoying and brought a ringing sound to my sensitive ears, it was the funniest thing you could possibly imagine, it was sort of like a donkey trying to give birth to fourteen foal, it was a site to behold, but she did have a beautiful voice but I was never going to let her know that I thought of her in that way, I just preferred to keep it to my self embodied spirit. We walked for a number of minutes we by passed a common junction called "SDA" it had a pharmacy, car repair store, fast food restaurant on the left and a wholesaler store on the right, which is kind of an odd settings if you ask me, sometimes I wish the government could evolve me before making certain decisions regarding architecture development of the country, I strongly feel that they are neglecting a brilliant mind such as mine to rid this country of it's incisive ignorance and pure redundancy, I for one would make an excellent educational advisor and work ethic role model, but that's not important at the time now is it?
Just ahead of SDA was a gas station and a convenience store on the side was this big building with flashy lights that was quiet during the day but loud and lively at night, as if it was a ghost or conjuring palace, it gave me goosebumps at the thought of it.
As we casually talked Christine looked at the sky and said;
Christine: Hey William, do you ever think of me first thing in the morning? And the last thought of the day?
Me: hmm not particularly.
( yes I think about you every second of the day why is that even a question?) I thought to myself
"Why do you ask" I added
Christine: can we go home like right now, my place if you don't mind.
" Hmm why is she suddenly bringing this topic of heading to her house, this is dangerous, it's the last day of 9th grade we can't afford any fuck ups right now, but if I say no it will hurt her feelings and if I say yes we might have a baby before I finish school, don't overthink shit William first of all you are too young to even handle her, second of all she probably regards you as a friend, third of all both of you dumbasses are young as fuck and this is probably just infatuation, but again how did Mom and dad do it? How did they last this long?" I thought to myself
I entered I deep thought while Christine talked about something l completely irrelevant, my mind was in another place wondering what went wrong. Quick skip to the present day just to show you were this novel is going, a tiny accident that happened on the 31st of December, 2023
This is something I never told anyone but here goes nothing.
One Sunday morning as the rain poured down, I sat alone in my room, staring blankly at a blue wall thinking of all the possible things I have and could not achieve. My heart felt heavy, burdened by the weight of all the pain and sorrow i had been carrying for so long, Christine is gone and I can never have her back, I don't want her back anymore, it was so easy for her to leave me like it was nothing like I never meant anything to her, but now I don't give a fuck because now I have Layla, she will be with me forever because she wants to stay.
Tears streamed down my face, as i thought about all the things that made me happy with her and all the things I'll never have.
I couldn't help but wonder why i felt so alone, even when surrounded by people who claimed to love me. It seemed like everyone had their own problems to deal with, and nobody had the time or energy to truly listen to me and hear what has been bothering me for the past 1 and a half years.
All I ever wanted was someone to hold me and tell me that everything would be okay. But instead, Christine left me with nothing but the sound of the rain and the emptiness that seemed to consume my humanity and soul.
As the night wore on, I felt uneasy and I was slipping deeper and deeper into despair, wondering if there was any point in continuing to fight of life, but suicide wasn't an option I'm not that weak or that much of a coward to even think of doing such a degrading thing, when all I felt was pain and sadness I listened to music to numb the pain But even in my darkest moments, a small voice inside me whispered, "Don't give up. Keep going. You are stronger than you think."
And so, with a heavy heart and tear-stained cheeks, i wiped away my tears and faced another day, hoping that someday the sun would shine again and the pain would fade away. As I waited for another light or as I like to call it a second hope and her name was Layla.
But I'm getting ahead of myself here aren't I? I haven't even explained what happened with Christine or how it began, I went off and wrote my pain in that paragraph, I just hope you truely understand how painful it is to face each day with an aching heart and tears in your eye balls each time her name croses your mind. life just gets tough and rough everyday, each day a new challenge and each day a new problem, but what makes us different is those that accept what has happened move on and become stronger, or live a life of sadness and misery constantly regreting every decision you have made we all have the power to change our fate, we just have to truely believe and work on ourselves, with that I shall resume back to November 2019.
As I got lost in a pool of thoughts she came up infront of me and asked
" What are you thinking about William? Why do you look so gloomy all of a sudden?" She asked
If I had known that she wouldn't be here with me in my times of pain I wouldn't have said what I said back then.
"I'm always ok with you, you make me happy Christine, I have no other reason to be sad, you are my makumino princess". I responded
Both our zodiac signs is Taurus, maybe that's why we got attracted to eachother but you know what they say isn't it? Like sides repel and unlike sides attract we fought the repulsion between us but I guess our efforts were in vain always struggling for better days but no positive results.
We never dated in the 9th grade we were just really really close buddies and because we were too young I guess, or it's because I didn't make a move, it felt like it would last forever but inevitably nothing lasts forever.
We walked back home that day and I felt as mellow as ever, not a care in the world, I escorted her home and I came back home, the holiday was finally on, days turned into nights nights turned into weeks, weeks turned into a month and time went by just like that, but everyday of Every week her and I would meet up and have a long chat or just listen to music or judged other people which was my favourite past time of the holidays. But that little fairytale came to an end sooner than scheduled.
Before I knew it it was already new year, 1st January, 2020 which was her mom's birthday what an interesting twist of events.
Me: hello Christine's Mom is Christine at home? And happy birthday another year huh?
Christine's Mom: Christine just came out of the shower she is probably getting dressed in her room so please wait for her out here. And thank you for the birthday wishes.
Me: you're welcome and sure I will wait out here for her.
Even though I knew that the moment I hear the car move out Christine was going to tell me to enter the house, so I just waited patiently.
Christine's Mom: Momma, I'm going out your friend is outside waiting for you so hurry up, see you later!
She said with a loving voice.
Immediately the car started and left the front part of the house, she came racing in her Barbie shorts and crop top, which exposed like 75% of her body, some female clothing is really weird, why wear something that only covered half of your body geez Louise it's a crazy planet.
Christine: come in William, she is gone i don't think she will be back any time soon.
Me: Are you ready for senior high school next week?
Christine: I'm crazy excited are you staying at Arakan high school?
Me: i was thinking about coming by Libala high school, but if we're too close to eachother I won't be missing you.
Christine: well aren't you a charmer, ok be right back, let me dress properly.
She went to her room and after about a good 20 minutes she came out in a short skirt and a small tee, her thighs are as light and creamy as caramel, you could eat them if she'd let you.
"Does she think I'm gay, or maybe she thinks I don't find her attractive? Why in the world would you dress like this in a house where it's just her and I? I refuse to partake in any baby making activities" I thought to myself
"How do I look?" She asked
"You look like the most beautiful girl in the world, because you are that girl" I replied
"Hmm quit the lies" she replied back nervously
"It's not a lie, I'm speaking the truth" I responded
Her:Let's just play a game shall we?
Ok so you pick a card it's either I do what the card says or I have to do ten push ups if I fail to meet the cards demands.
She picked a card and from the get go she went quiet.
Me: Christine, why are you quite what did you pick let me see.
But she wouldn't show me, she put her arms around me, looked into my eyes, my heart pounded like a train moving at 180km/h my heart was racing, I could hear hers race as well, her chest was so warm, it felt squishy and jelly like, the closer she got the more I could feel until she finally made a move and gave me a deep kiss, she was my first real kiss, one that felt like the end of this world and the beginning of another, her small lips felt soft her mouth was warm and my mind went numb she slowly twisted her head, went for the upper lip and Finally pulled back.
"What just happened"