I took a deep breath, opened the door, and walked into our flat.
"Shu, I'm back home"
No answer.
It was about nine o'clock but all the lights were off in the house. Did Shu not come back?
I went over to the living room to flop onto the couch as I was tired as fuck, then found Shu sitting there curled up in the dark.
"Hey, what are you doing here? Why do you have the lights off?"
"I'm angry"
"Oh what's wrong now… come on, I had a tough day"
"You think I didn't?"
"Come on man, at least you were not threatened by securities and got taken to the police station"
Shu grabbed what looked like a remote control laying next to him and threw it away.
"Do you have ANY idea how much I was worried?!"
"Calm down-"
"You just don't think. And when you do, you only think about yourself!"
Fuck. I've heard this before.
"You don't think about what's gonna happen if you do this. You will be GONE! Get it?!"
"Don't talk to me like that kid. You are crossing the line"
"And what's gonna happen when you get taken away?! What's gonna happen to me?! I'll be here. All alone! You don't ever care about me!"
"YOU are the selfish one! It's not my job to take care of you. My life shouldn't be all about you! In FACT, my whole fucking life is a mess thanks to you!"
"Then get out! Get out of my house!"
"YOU asked me to come here!"
Then Shu shot out of his seat and started hitting me everywhere with his hands.
"Stop"
He didn't stop.
"STOP!"
He didn't stop.
I grabbed his both arms and shook them hard.
"You think I can't hit back?! Huh?! Don't test my patience!"
I was shaking him hard and pushed forward, and Shu was trying to get his arms free from my grip while stepping back. Then he hit the edge of the sofa with the back of his knees and fell backward, and with momentum, I ended up falling on top of him.
After I composed myself I realized I was still on top of him, pinning and pressing his arms down on the sofa as he was laying on his back. I was still angry and breathing hard.
Our faces were very close and there was a moment our eyes met. Shu's eyes were swelling up with tears. He turned his head sideways to avoid me
"You are so close… I don't like this"
Then I realized I was imposing myself on him. I was being intimidating.
I let go of his arms and stood up to back off.
"I'm sorry…"
God, I hate myself…
"Just leave.."
"...."
"And don't come back"
I couldn't think. I couldn't talk.
I just turned my back on him and walked out of the house.