A few weeks later, Anita invited Derek to lunch. After placing the order, Anita handed him a bank draft.
“What is this for?” Derek asked when he noticed the cheque was made out in his name. He was surprised of the dollar amount on the cheque. It was the same amount that he had personally lend to Ethan a few months ago. “This is from your own personal savings?”
Anita smiled timidly before answering. “Thanks for helping Ethan out with the down payment for the new apartment that we will be moving into soon.”
Derek didn’t know how to respond at first, but he came to a realization why Anita had insisted on meeting with him without letting Ethan know about this lunch meeting. Derek had a suspicion something wasn’t quite right. “Did Ethan asked you to give this to me?”
Anita shook her head and casted her eyes downwards. “No, Ethan doesn’t know that I know about the money he borrowed from you. I came across the legal document that he and Gillian signed when they made the offer for the condo.”
“I can’t take this money from you.” Derek pushed the bank draft back to her. “I think it is best you talk this over with Ethan.”
Anita let out a dejected sigh and then looked up with eyes that were seeking for support. “If only he would talk to me about things that mattered to him.”
The last thing Derek wanted was for Anita to start crying in front of him. “Are you going to be okay?”
He felt nothing but compassion for what Anita went through in the past, but he also understood the burden Ethan had taken upon himself since her reappearance. After observing Ethan together with Anita and Gillian at the same time on several occasions, the answers to who was the best match for Ethan and with whom he was truly in love with were obvious to him. Yet he felt he had to be careful with his choice of words. “I understand 3 years was a long time to be away, and that things have changed. But you do know that Ethan still cares a lot for you.”
“Yes, I know!” Anita blurted with agitation, she just couldn’t help herself. She noticed the startled expression on Derek and let out a sigh to calm herself down. “Sorry … but.”
Derek waited for a moment longer, when nothing came from Anita, he decided to push the subject. “What is the ‘but’?”
After taking another sip of coffee, Anita decided to go on. “I know he cares for me a lot, but he is not the same Ethan I used to know.”
“Well, it’s not surprising. In the last few years I have known him, he has changed a lot. He used to be an introvert before Gillian open …” Derek realized the slipped of his tongue. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to bring up the past.”
Anita smiled genuinely. “Don’t apologize. I’d rather you tell me the truth. Ethan doesn’t tell me anything that happened to him over the last few years.”
“He is in a difficult situation right now.” Derek stated the obvious. “He needs for you to be understanding at this time.”
“No, he doesn’t need me!” Anita gave out another sigh as if she was about to vent some more. But she thought better of it and decided to speak her mind. “He needs Gillian because she is the only one who understands him. I honestly don’t know what is going on in that brain of his anymore. Come to think of it, I never did before.”
Derek remained quiet, but his attention was still focused on Anita. After all, what else could he add to her statement of truth?
“I know why Gillian broke up with him.” Anita continued. “It’s because she really loves Ethan and didn’t want him to make such a difficult decision between us.”
“But Gillian believes Ethan is still in love with you,” Derek had to clarify, but he was surprised Anita felt the same way as he did. But Derek also knew Gillian had talked herself into believing Ethan had never stopped loving Anita; not even when he asked her to marry him the second time.
“He loves me, but he’s not in love with me.” Anita let out. “But I believe if Gillian and I were to switch role, if Ethan had met her first and she was the one abducted, Ethan would not be able to let go of his feelings for her to fall in love with me or anyone else. Like now!”
Anita looked at Derek who had to blink away to hide his own opinion in this subject matter. Sensing his thoughts, she smiled and said to him. “You don’t have to worry about my feelings; I know you think the same of Ethan and Gillian, you and everyone else who knows about the three of us!”
Derek finally let out a relaxing sigh. “I am not one to judge him, but I certainly don’t want to be in his shoes right now.”
That night, Anita presented the same bank draft to Ethan who also refused to take it. Not only was he agitated when she asked him about the loan from Derek, he went further to confront her for invading into his privacy.
When Anita asked why he went into such a heavy monthly mortgage debt and why he needed to borrow money from Derek, Ethan gave her all sorts of irrelevant reasons that she knew were nothing but excuses. Finally she worked up her courage and asked him if it was to pay Gillian back for the down payment to which he finally admitted, but with reluctance.
“The condo was supposed to be your new home with Gillian after you two get married!” Anita stated with frustration. “You weren’t even planning on telling me that!”
“Since you already went through my documents, why do you bother asking now?” Ethan interjected with annoyance and shot her an indignant look.
Anita was almost in tears. “I just want to help you!”
Ethan was immediately overcome with guilt. He calmed himself down and approached her. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell at you.”
Though he pulled her into his embrace, Anita could feel how stiff his entire body was.
“Ethan, why won’t you let me help?” Anita asked with tearful eyes. “The money from the apartment we just sold belongs to you more than it belongs to me. You took over the mortgage all these years.”
He released their embrace and sat her down on the sofa. “I want you to keep the money for your own security. Let me take care of the mortgage and loan for this new one. It’s what a man is supposed to do!”
“But the money from the sale of the apartment can lighten your load so much more,” Anita was still trying to persuade him to take the cheque.
Ethan sat down next to her and took her hands in his. “Let’s leave the past in the past. You don’t owe me anything. I am the one in debt to you. I don’t want you to suffer or lack anything in anyway.”
Anita didn’t want to beat around the bush with him anymore. She wanted the truth from him. “Then why don’t you sell the new apartment and then we can get a cheaper one?” She looked deep into his eyes and got her answer; however, he gave her one that was far from the truth.
“It’s not a seller’s market at this time.” Ethan got up and headed towards his room. That was his way of telling Anita that this conversation was over.
Anita followed him into his room and found him sitting on his bed with his head down, looking totally dejected. It wasn’t the state she wanted him to be in. A sense of nostalgia overcame her, and she sighed because she could tell he was hiding behind the colors of the night again.
“Ethan, can we have a talk about our relationship?” Anita had envisioned over and over in her mind how Ethan might react when this moment came. However, she had never seen such mixed emotions in his eyes. Yet it was his response that gave her the ultimate surprise.
“I’m not ready to get married yet!”