[Derek Hale POV]
It wasn't much of a surprise that Derek couldn't get a wink of sleep at all throughout the entire night as flashes of all what he had seen and experienced over the last week came to mind as soon as he closed his eyes.
Was it strange to say that he hated Gerard more than he ever did Kate? Even though the latter burned his entire family to death and sawed his sister in half?
Derek got up in the middle of the night and went into the adjacent bathroom to wash his face.
He looked at his reflection in the mirror and unlike what he used to see before, a serene picture of the Alpha he always dreamed to be, what he now saw was so distorted that there was no way he could prove that the reflection was his.
"Heh, how pitiful…" His betas were fighting for their lives and here he was, worried about what his reflection looked like.
Who cares what he now was? If he can't even identify the image then that just made it all the more irrelevant.
He walked out of the room and due to it being night, the entire house was quiet.
"Can't sleep?" His inner thoughts were broken by Elias' voice that sounded behind him.
"It's alright, I understand." Elias said, waving in understanding as he saw the look in the scarred Alpha's eyes. "Join me for a drink?"
"Sure." Derek said and soon they found themselves sitting on the porch each with a bottle of beer in their hands.
"Want to talk about it?" Elias asked. "It's one of the worst things to happen to any Alpha if they lose their identity."
Derek chuckled darkly but the smile couldn't sit straight on his face and soon slipped away. "It didn't look that way when it happened to Peter, I'd even say it made him stronger. Doesn't sound all that bad to me from where I'm sitting."
Elias shook his head at Derek and let out a satisfying breath as he drank from the cold bottle of beer in his hands.
"From what I heard, it isn't that Peter Hale lost his identity. Instead his rage warped his identity and twisted him and that was reflected by his transformation as an Alpha." Elias explained. He might not be an Alpha but he dare say he was more knowledgeable than most.
"If you as an Alpha can't even identify yourself, even a twisted version of you, then how do you expect your betas to do so? It will be like a blind man leading a bunch of clueless children."
A growl almost escaped Derek's mouth and his eyes briefly flashed red, something that Elias noticed.
The young Hale took a moment to calm down and finished the bottle and used the empty glass as a lens to view the half moon hanging up in the sky.
"The only thing I can think of right now is finding Gerard and using my claws to dig out every single piece of flesh in his body, but I can't now." He set the bottle aside and looked at his hands. "I need to make sure that they are fine first before I do anything else. I can't continue to remain selfish, even if it's fully justified."
Elias looked at Derek, and though this was the first time he was speaking to Derek Hale, he easily identified the growth the man before him was undergoing.
Elias nodded in full support of Derek's words. "You're right. Sometimes there are things that are more important than justified revenge."
"I'm still taking it though. I'm still killing Gerard."
He laughed humorously but didn't deny Derek's words. "Of course. Sometimes revenge is just as important, dare say I even necessary."
Before any of them could continue their conversation, the doors were pushed slightly open and Malia put her head through the ajar.
Elias asked as he saw her intrusion. "Is there something wrong, dear?"
Malia shook her head and pointed at Derek. "I just came over from checking up on Isaac and Erica and came to tell grumpy here that they are waking up."
Derek didn't need her to say anything else and immediately pushed his way through the door and hurriedly made his way towards them.
His hands trembled for a bit as he got to the door but he couldn't care less about it at the moment and pushed his way inside.
The thick nauseous smell of medicine assaulted his nose as soon as he stepped inside through the door, and relief washed over him as he saw them both awake, though Isaac still looked a little sleepy and worse than Erica.
The first thing that came to his mind after the relief he felt was to hug them tight but that feeling was utterly crushed as his feeling of regret came in bashing through the door.
"Hey guys, how are you feeling?" He managed to ask as he made his way to their beds with a false calm gait.
No matter what, what he felt was most important at this moment was making sure that they were doing better than before.
"We look like shit, man. How can you even ask that?" Isaac said with a chuckle, his voice lacking the youthful exuberance it used to carry.
When Derek got close enough, he could feel their emotions in shambles and little bits of tears gathering at the edge of their eyes.
"I'm so sorry." His voice croaked as he hugged them.
They couldn't hold it anymore and wept out part of their fears and trauma after finally escaping what felt like a hellish nightmare.
It took Derek to understand what his beta meant to him, and when he did, he just couldn't help but cherish them more.
A family.
As someone who lost his entire family, he more than anyone knew just how important and priceless such a bond was.
They finally stopped crying and only Erica kept letting out silent sobs, both feeling like a weight had been lifted off their chest.
"So you trust us now?" Isaac couldn't help but ask as he remembered Derek's words a while ago, while the receiver of his words, Derek, winced at his question but nevertheless answered honestly.
"100%."
Isaac looked at Derek's eyes, searching for a hint of lie and smiling faintly when he found none. "Cool then. I guess all those torture weren't for nothing after all."
"Gerard, is he dead?" Erica asked after finally getting her emotions in a semblance of control.
Derek shook his head but made them a promise he very well intended to fulfill by any means. "No yet, but he'll soon very well be."
"We want to join you in killing him. He took something very important from us." Erica's words made all of their eyes harden.
"What did he do?" Derek's next words stayed in his tongue and couldn't roll off as he saw Erica and Isaac's eyes glow up in a cold blue that was all too familiar to him.
No more words needed to be said. He understood.
It was always due to a werewolf's taking the life of an innocent person that made their eyes turn blue. Even though it rarely happens, a beta's eyes can turn blue due to them experiencing a severe traumatic experience that forever stigmatizes them, turning their once bright golden eyes into an unfeeling blue.
Regardless to say, this was just another reason in the sky-high pile of other reasons that Derek had for wanting to kill the old bastard.
...
[The McCall House]
Stiles was staying the night over at Scott's house and without it being needed to be said, none of them could sleep well after what they saw during the day at the underground Argent torture chamber.
"You think that's what they do to every other werewolf they catch? If they don't kill them off immediately, they torture them for information and then kill them?" Scott asked. He was very affected by what he saw and couldn't help but be profoundly worried.
While Derek, and even Tristan to a little extent, had to tell him that it was important to be resolved to kill any time the moment for it calls, he didn't truly understand why they all had that mindset, until today that is.
Stiles who was on the bed with him grumbled irately at his attempt of catching a semi-goodnight sleep masterfully interrupted.
"I really don't know what to say, Scott. I don't think they were just being murder loving by telling you that and I know you know that too. Still, I can tell that torturing them the way Gerard did probably took it a bit too far for even the standards of the Argent." Stiles gave his honest opinion.
Scott's face fell aghast at what Stiles' words insinuated. "A bit too far? They looked like two strung up pieces of butchered meat, Stiles!"
Stiles rolled his eyes and stared at Scott sarcastically. "Really? A family of Hunters that have no qualms killing teenage werewolves are against torturing them if they can gain more information from it? Yeah no, Scott. I don't fucking think so."
Scott looked dumbfounded but ended up sighing and drawing the blanket up to his neck.
"Don't worry, buddy. You've got me by your side, right? I'm pretty sure I can think up a few things to save our ass if it comes to it." Stiles said but looked at Scott as if he suddenly remembered something. "But if there's a chance I might survive by giving you up to them, know that I'm taking it. Old Stiles shouldn't have to die because of you being a furry."
"Fuck off, Stiles." Scott flipped him off and they both laughed, forgetting their bleak future for now and just focused on getting some sleep.
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