Okay, she was being punished for being a rebel, and for her, it was the worst punishment ever. The only time she knew she was powerless, was now.
"Bel, they just want the best for you." Tega said, trying to cover her hands with hers, but she pulled away.
"They don't. Don't you realize they're just doing this for themselves?" Her voice was barely calm.
Tega breathed in deeply with her eyes closed. When she opened them, there was exasperation.
"They wouldn't be happy if you do this." She shook her head slowly.
Belcalise's cool snapped. "What about 'my' happiness?!" A finger of hers jabbed in her own chest.
To that, Tega didn't know what to say. She just stared on at Belcalise, nothing to do crossing her mind, so she grabbed her purse and got up.
"Just know if that happens, don't ever think of me as your Sister."
Belcalise bit her inner lip hard to feel another thing, a different kind of sentiment, but nothing was forth-coming as the pain in her chest surpassed any other.
*****
Those words remained with her as she walked down the aisle with her hand in her Father's.
There he was, at the altar, looking regal in a blue suit. It was obvious he was an epitome of a Fallen Angel, desired for the perfect, charming husband. But, just not for her. Her lips quivered at the thought.
For him, he thought she looked like a beautiful temptation, the one who would be his Wife. In her white wedding dress, the hands were made of thick, flowers that was off at the shoulders, almost at her mid upper arm. The upper part of it was slim, drawing out the lovely flair from her waist. Her toes were covered in the thick balls of white. Despite all those, to him, she was very much a Devil, if the past months had been any indication.
Nearing the altar, she stared down at the hand he held out to her long enough for eyebrows to raise and for her Dad's smile to falter. She looked up at him through her veil before she took hold of his hand. When she felt his hold on her tighten, she sucked in a shuddering breath and let him pull her up.
She could only stare at the length of him her eyes could equal as she stood opposite him, they refused to trail anywhere further.
"Dearly Beloved…" She couldn't help as her eyes closed numerous times in blinks of disbelief.
All that was happening was still not comprehendable to her, it was like something she had never dreamed of, probably because it was a nightmare.
Her actions remained mute throughout the procedure, but when she heard,
"Aubrey Finch, do you take her as your lawfully wedded Wife, to love and to hold, till death do you apart?"
Her throat bobbed up and down awaiting his response.
The Church turned silent with people like bags full of nerves, for the heartbeats he remained mute, looking at her. She could only be stoic while feeling his piercing eyes on her.
"I do."
A shudder went through her like a bolt of lightening. For some reason, she felt like flying to God and asking him why he was filling her life with misfortune.
"Belcalise Drew," she froze when she heard her name, "do you take Aubrey Finch, as your lawfully wedded Husband, to love and to hold, till death do you apart?"
The Vicar's words resonated over and over in her senses, her heart started beating again, gaining speed rapidly till she felt her whole being quivering with every pound.
Seconds passed and turned to minutes, her breath getting audible. Tega came up to her to put a hand behind her veil and wipe the sweat.
"Bel, please-" she muttered, hiding her face so no one would see.
If she gave her consent, it would be the end of her. Her happiness, to name one. She should refuse, this wasn't what she bargained for. If she agreed, her Parents would feel they had her wrapped around their fingers, and that was one thing she didn't like people feeling about her. A simple word could loosen her from the bondage she was a few metres from, but if she did that, it would be her detriment forever.
Either way, she was in a ditch. The other side led to her bondage, yet another, to her falling out with Tega. That was her only weakness. She had come to depend so much on Tega for the things she ever felt, and now, Tega being the obedient Daughter, was using it to her advantage, clearly luring her into a path she herself never followed. Just the thought of a day without this cheerful, rowdy girl beside her, she would be a shadow of herself.
Despite all those, what could she find.
Love?
It wasn't there.
A companion?
She didn't even know anything about him personally except for his name, they were total strangers.
Happiness could come, but it was temporary.
Yet if she didn't get married, there would just be the loneliness of having to push one person away from her.
How bad outweighed good!
Not that she cared, but could she disappoint her Parents like this?
'Be selfish for once!' She shouted inwardly at herself. 'Be selfish, don't care about others right now, think about yourself. If you decide to say 'no', you have just one thing to worry about. But, if you consent, multiple troubles will haunt you.'
Yet, no. No, no, no, her conscience would not allow it. It kept screaming its refusal at her denial. It came out of the pit of her stomach, but only to voice it out, it stuck to her throat, adamant to come out. Or her willpower was keeping it in. The facts, she couldn't comprehend. Losing all those years of companionship with her very own Dearly Beloved, something she might never get in marriage. It was the ultimate waste of time, or it seemed like the ultimate waste of time.
To her, almost two decades of blissful co-existence was worth more than a lifetime of loneliness.
Family always comes first, wasn't that what Tega used to say when she wanted to do something selfish that would lead her into falling out with her Parents?
None of those she wanted to lose. She wanted to clutch it to herself forever, the feeling that someone was always there with her.
Family, she couldn't forsake…
"I do."