What's "it"?! Ainz bit back the jab and waited.
"She kept saying she was just a village girl, but she was concealing an
immensely powerful magic item shaped like a horn. We thought it was
suspicious that she would be carrying such a thing, so we were trying to get
the details."
"What kind of horn? What does it do?"
"Well, its power is to…"
After hearing the man's story, Ainz suddenly looked up at the sky—to
escape the reality that it was the item he had given her.
When he had given it to her, he didn't have any idea what kind of items
were commonplace in this world; he just wanted her to protect herself. Who
could have guessed it would cause trouble for her later? He knew he hadn't
done anything wrong, but neither did he feel like he could abandon her.
I guess I should help her. This isn't my fault, but I should take
responsibility for giving her that item… It would be worse to ignore her and
have it fall into someone else's hands… Besides, if she gets taken prisoner…
Nfirea knew that Momon and Ainz Ooal Gown were one and the same.
Under these circumstances, if he heard Enri's story, he would think that Ainz
abandoned her.
That would definitely make him resent me. I wouldn't care if he was just
any worthless human, but he's extremely valuable to me. I can turn this issue
to my advantage! If I save her, Nfirea will be grateful. I gotta tighten my
chains on him little by little…
Ainz spoke in what he felt was a calm, dignified voice. "You don't need
to worry about her at all. I know her character well. She's not the kind of
person who will cause trouble, so please let her through. Can you do that for
me?"
"Of course. We would even let a criminal in if they were someone you
knew and you vouched for them."
"Is that so? Well, thanks. And then, sorry to trouble, but do you think
Raven Black could also go in ahead of the line?"
After getting permission to enter, Ainz returned to Narberal and
Hamusuke.
"We've been cleared to enter ahead of the others. Let's go through the
gate."
He rode Hamusuke past the people in line. The travelers waiting their turn
noticed him, but when they saw his raven-black armor, Hamusuke, and
Narberal, they looked away in resignation—they had seen the status gap
between Ainz and themselves.
With deep, reverent bows from the soldiers guarding the gate, Ainz and
his party passed through it and entered E-Rantel.
"Okay, Nabe. I have a favor to ask you."
"Understood. Your wish is my command."
He wondered how this loyal attitude looked in the city between fellow
adventurers, but he knew saying anything would be pointless, so he continued
with his order. "Talk to Enri, the girl on the next wagon that will come
through the gate, and find out why she's here."
Next, he looked for a place to hide. He wanted to avoid any further
conversation with Enri himself.
He glanced around the area, decided ducking behind a stack of wooden
crates would suffice, and had Hamusuke dash over there. The two of them
appeared so suddenly, the soldiers working there got flustered.
"Do you have a moment, sir? I'd like to ask you about these crates," Ainz
asked one of the soldiers after confirming that his position wasn't visible
from the gate. Of course, he had no interest in the crates. It was just an excuse
so they wouldn't shoo him off for being in their way.
"Y-yes. Thank you for taking an interest, Sir Momon. These are crates of
a vegetable called kinshu from the Grandel domain. It's…"
Ainz listened to the soldier's earnest explanation, occasionally muttering a
vague "I see" or "Really?" He was rather unengaged, but the soldier took no
offense and continued explaining. About the time Ainz was learning a great
deal about different ways to prepare kinshu, he sensed Narberal appear
behind him.
"—Sorry to interrupt you in the middle of your explanation. I appreciate
all the useful information you've given me, but my friend is back, so I need
to go," he declared unilaterally and had Hamusuke start walking.
"So what did you find out?"
"First, she wanted me to thank you. Then she said she has three aims: to
sell herbs, to check at the shrine if there are any people who want to move to
her village, and finally, to visit the Adventurers Guild."
"The Adventurers Guild? What kind of request is she going to make?"
"I'm afraid I didn't find out that much. Should I catch her and force her to
tell me?"
"No, no need. We're headed to the Adventurers Guild anyway. We can
probably just ask someone there."
He figured it wasn't about wanting to thank Ainz Ooal Gown directly. If
that was the case, she could have said it to Lupusregina when she visited…
"Oh, right. Nabe, have you gotten any special reports from Lupusregina
lately?"
When he saw her shake her head, his brow—not that he had one, of
course—furrowed.
Originally, he had stationed shadow demons in the village, but in order to
deepen friendly relations, he sometimes sent Lupusregina instead. He had
instructed her to report immediately if any problems occurred in the village,
but he hadn't heard anything yet.
So he was under the impression that Carne wasn't having any issues.
Perhaps it wasn't necessary to report that Enri had gone to E-Rantel on
her own, but worry appeared in Ainz's mind like a dark cloud.
"I thought Lupusregina was the kind of person who took her job fairly
seriously, but what do you think, Nabe?"
"It's as you say. She comes off as frivolous due to the way she talks, but
it's only an act. She's a crafty, brutal maid."
Crafty and brutal were not compliments. He furtively searched her face
for any trace of negative emotions, but her imposing expression contained
only respect for her teammate.
"So, master, is it all right to go to the Adventurers Guild as planned,
hmm?"
"Yeah. You know where it is, right? Okay, Nabe, get on. No need to take
your Animal Statue: Warhorse out again."
After Ainz took Narberal's hand and pulled her up behind him, Hamusuke
sped up as if she'd been raring to go. Ainz was no longer mortified to
swagger down the streets atop the giant hamster. On the contrary, he loved
that she could understand him and that he could give her orders. Riding her
was like taking a taxi.
Eventually, the Adventurers Guild came into view. At the same time, he
saw the wagon from earlier, as well as Enri disappearing inside the building.
"Dang… Hamusuke. I'm going in the back entrance. Take me around the
other side."
"Understood, that it is, master!"
Adventurers weren't usually allowed in the back door, but adamantite
ranks could get away with anything. That said, it was still his first time.
Taking excessive advantage of his privileges would have been bad for his
reputation.
He went in the back and asked the first guild employee he saw to take him
to the head of the guild's office. Luckily, perhaps, he was in.
"Oh, Momon! Thanks for coming!"
The head of the guild, Ainzach, welcomed him with open arms, grabbing
and enveloping him in a forceful…hug. Ainz was wearing armor and a
helmet, so it didn't bother him, but if he had been only lightly dressed, he
would have rather avoided it. The embrace was warm in too many ways.
After giving him a friendly pat on the back, Ainzach slowly pulled away.
"You haven't been coming around lately, so I've been lonely! Now take a
seat on the sofa. We can have a nice chat until the other members of the
meeting arrive." The head of the guild gestured at the sofa cheerfully, like he
was welcoming a good friend he hadn't seen in a long time.
"Thank you."
When Ainz sat down, Ainzach sat next to him.
The space between them was negligible. It made it hard to breathe; their
knees were even touching.
"Momon, we've known each other so long. You can relax with me, you
know."
"No, manners are important even among friends. That's a very important
lesson I learned from my predecessors."
Certainly, at work he would have sometimes gotten on friendlier terms
with clients, and even spoken in a casual tone, but he didn't want to open
himself up like that with the head of the guild. He felt it was appropriate to
keep things businesslike.
If you have too many connections inside an organization, it can start to
pin you down. I don't want to get stuck at one Adventurers Guild in one city.
Maybe it's time to move on? Or really… Ainz stared at Ainzach next to him
out of the slit in his helmet. Why are you sitting next to me anyway? Normal
etiquette would be to put Narberal there and sit across from us.
With that uncomfortable closeness, he couldn't help but wonder if
Ainzach was into him.
I heard from the head of the Wizards Guild that he's married, but maybe
that's for show? I thought he was just really eager to be better friends, but…
there's definitely something else going on. Or does he think I'm gay?
The last thing he suddenly imagined made him shudder.
Ainz was straight. Well, he had been anyhow. Incidentally, not that it
mattered, but Satoru Suzuki preferred women with breasts over flat-chested
ones. All this seemed to hold true even now, judging by the way he felt a
faint desire for Albedo over someone like Cocytus.
After taking some distance by repositioning his butt, he turned to look
straight at Ainzach. "Do excuse me, but I came here to ask you something.
Someone I know visited the guild just now, and I wonder if you can tell me
what her request was about."
"We have rules against that…"
"That's why I'm asking you. I know I'm being unreasonable, and I
understand how important it is to follow the rules, but please."
Ainz bowed his head, and Ainzach crossed his arms and stared up at the
ceiling with a stern face. But that lasted only a moment.
"All right." He smiled at Ainz. "I just can't say no when it's you asking.
Can you tell me this person's name?"
"She's from Carne. Enri, er, Enri Emmott."
"Enri, okay. Give me a minute."
Before long, he was back. Behind him followed a receptionist Ainz had
seen before. She came in stiffly, nearly paralyzed with nerves.
"Sir Momon!"
Wow, Ainz thought upon his first time seeing someone so nervous they
were walking completely out of step. He would have liked to tell her she
could relax, but he only nodded benevolently. Not coming off too free and
easy was one of those things adamantite-rank adventurers worried about.
"This is the receptionist who talked to Enri Emmott. You'd probably like
to talk to her directly, right? Anything you want to know, ask away!"
"Oh? In that case— Ah, but first, why don't we have her sit down? This
isn't my office, so it would be weird for me to say it, but…"
"No! That won't be necessary! I'm fine as is!"
Satoru Suzuki would have felt awfully strange sitting while the person he
was talking to was standing, but during his time acting as Ainz Ooal Gown,
ruler of the Great Tomb of Nazarick, those kinds of feelings had faded. He
had grown to simply accept the gap between those at the top and those below.
It seemed like proof that his role-playing as a masterful being wasn't for
nothing, that he had actually gained experience points.
So how many more points till I level up? Oh, wait…
"Are you sure? Well, then let's begin. I'd like to hear the details of her
request. It's very important, so can you make sure not to leave anything out?"
"Y-yes, sir!" Sticky, cold sweat beaded on her face.
"What is it? Is something wrong?"
"No, I…" Her eyes wandered side to side.
"Did I phrase the question poorly…? Hmm. Then let's try this way. Was
her request about searching for someone?"
"N-no, sir."
"Oh, okay… Then what was it about? Did she not even make a request?"
"…It wasn't an immediate request, more like a consultation about a
request she might make in the future. And well, she said there were monsters
in the woodlands—the Giant of the East and the Serpent of the West—that
are as powerful as the Wise King of the Forest you tamed."
Though Ainz found the barely coherent receptionist strange, he continued
questioning her. "A future request?"
"I-it's not what you think! I didn't realize she was someone you knew, Sir
Momon! If I would have known, I would have asked for more details!
Honest!"
Faced with this tearfully shouting receptionist, Ainz was puzzled. Is it
really all right to have someone so emotionally unstable manning the desk?
"Guild Master…"
"…Sorry. I should have supervised her better."
"What? It's the rules of the guild!"
Listening to their conversation, Ainz realized what their twisted
understanding was.
They were both under the impression that he and Enri knew each other,
and out of respect for the guild, she would make a request for a job that he
normally would have done for her free of charge.
Then the receptionist coldly turned her away due to assumptions about
financial issues. So they were arguing over who should take responsibility for
refusing an adamantite rank's friend.
Uh, if it's the rules of the organization, then the one who followed them is
right…
Ainz lowered his opinion of the head of the guild, glaring at him.
Pretty sure it's a boss's job to cover for their subordinates. Or is he using
the advanced technique of ripping into her while I'm standing here to inspire
pity and get me to forgive her? He sure is reaming her.
Ainz felt the receptionist's handling of the situation was correct. The head
of the guild probably thought so, too. But just as when Ainz had come in
through the back door or when he made the request to Ainzach in the first
place, adamantite-rank adventurers were easily made exceptions to the rules
—that was how badly they wanted to keep him around, and that was why
they were fighting.
"I didn't know!"
Ainz spoke gently to the sobbing receptionist. "You didn't do anything
wrong."
The receptionist's eyes went round in surprise, and all the tears in them
streamed down.
"It's important to follow the rules of your organization. Of course, other
times it's necessary to ignore them. I'm not blaming you at all in this case."
"Thank you! Thank you!"
"So I'm sorry to press you, but please ask her for the details. Don't tell her
I'll take the job. I just want to be informed so I can move at any time."
"Understood! Right away! I'll go ask her right away! Excuse me!" The
receptionist spun on her heel and raced into the hallway. She was like a
receding typhoon.
"…I'd like you to not pretend to blame innocent people just to arouse my
pity. That was unpleasant."
"Ah… Can't fool you, I guess."
Ainz gathered from the guild master's strained voice that his guess had
been correct.
It seems Japanese business techniques are used everywhere. But the
problem is… Lupusregina came into his mind. Did Lupusregina miss these
monsters that even this village girl knows about? Did the intelligence net
fail? I need to find out what happened.
With returning to Nazarick and getting the story on his mind, he waited
for the receptionist's report.
4:41 PM Nazarick Time
Lupusregina nervously entered Ainz's office. Confused by the sudden
summons, she couldn't hide her anxiety.
Once she arrived, those present included her, the regular maid Cixous, the
combat maid Narberal, Aura (the one who understood the forest the best), the
eight-edged assassins clinging to the ceiling, and Ainz himself. Incidentally,
Albedo was in disciplinary confinement.
Lupusregina began to make her most polite bow, but Ainz stopped her.
"Lupusregina, is there something you're not telling me?"
When she looked confused, he wondered if she hadn't known after all and
explained about the Giant of the East and the Magical Serpent of the West.
But then she looked like she did know, and Ainz's mood quickly soured.
He emitted a long, quiet sigh.
"You knew?"
"Yes, I—"
"You fool!" Overcome with rage, Ainz let his anger carry away his shout,
and it echoed.
Everyone trembled like they had been struck by lightning, and Ainz felt
his emotions being suppressed. Still, new stormy waves crashed over him one
after another, so his anger wasn't completely extinguished.
"Why didn't you report it to me? Were you trying to hide it?"
"N-no, it wasn't anything like that."
"Then why haven't I heard anything about it? What reason could there
possibly be?"
"I didn't think it was very important, so I didn't report it…"
When she looked up at him, frightened, his emotions returned like a
raging fire. "Lupusregina! I'm disappointed in you!"
Lupusregina wasn't the only one who shuddered. Cixous, Narberal, and
the eight-edged assassins on the ceiling all froze in shock.
"Yes, I've given you discretion in overseeing that village. But that doesn't
mean you can do whatever you want based on your personal judgment! I told
you to report in if something might change in a big way, so what is going
on?!"
"Well, I…"
He grimaced as she trailed off.
A working adult would never be forgiven for this kind of mistake—no, no
one would. Reporting in to your superior and consulting with them on what
to do next isn't just business manners—it's common sense for any adult! If
she can't even do that… That's not acceptable in this org… But…
Lupusregina was terrified. Ainz wondered if perhaps it was his fault as
well. Perhaps the mistake was due to his unreliable leadership—a lack of grip
on the reins.
If my wishes aren't making their way down the chain properly, it's my
fault as everyone's boss. Have I not made myself clear…? Maybe it would be
better if I retired and left things up to Demiurge or Albedo.
"…Lupusregina, do you understand how valuable that village is to us?"
"Huh? Er, I've heard from you that it's valuable, my lord."
"No, no. I'm asking you how valuable you think that village is."
"W-well, it's full of toys…"
"Oh, I see. Right… I'm sorry. This is my mistake. I didn't realize that's
all you thought…" Ainz smiled an exhausted smile, realizing it was his fault
after all. "I take back my disappointment. I said too much—forgive me."
"What are you talking about? Blame me—I'm the idiot!"
"Then all you need to do is be more careful next time. So, let's start over.
You must understand that the village of Carne is very valuable. Nfirea and
his grandmother Lizzy have particularly crucial roles inside Nazarick."
"What?! R-really?"
"Yes. I'm having them develop new potions for us."
"O-oh! I was going to give you this!" Lupusregina suddenly shouted,
completely pale in the face, and pulled out a purple potion. Narberal took it
from her and carried it to Ainz.
"What is this?" Ainz took the potion and held it up to the light.
"It's the latest healing potion developed by Nfirea!"
Ainz's anger flared anew, but he held it back. "With this, the Baleare
family is even more important."
Lupusregina gave him an uncomprehending look, and Ainz quietly smiled
at her.
This potion had to have been made using the various materials he had
given them from Nazarick.
Even though Nfirea and his grandmother couldn't use the potion
synthesizing techniques of Yggdrasil, they had used Yggdrasil materials to
create something that was neither the blue potion of this world nor the red
potion of Yggdrasil. That point deserved some attention.
"First of all, the healing potions in this world are blue. But the ones I
know are red. So I wonder about this." Ainz went on at length.
The knowledge and powers he had gained in Yggdrasil could be used in
this world, that much was certain. His encounters with angels, the existence
of things that seemed to be World Items—this and other evidence pointed to
a very good chance of Yggdrasil players existing in this world in the past. So
why were only the potions different from Yggdrasil's red ones?
He could think of three possibilities.
One was the loss of technology and a break in knowledge due to countries
falling to ruin. Because technologies, once known, were very likely to spread
to neighboring states, this had to have taken place over a wide area. Without
entire countries being destroyed, it was impossible, so the chance of it being
this type of disaster was low.
His second idea was that either Nfirea personally didn't know how to
make them, or the knowledge hadn't spread to countries in this region. Just as
it was said that in the past the color of Japan's noodle soup was different in
the east and west, so was it possible that in far-off countries, the potions were
red or something like that.
His final theory was the one that made the most sense: Synthesizing
Yggdrasil potions required Yggdrasil materials. And they either couldn't be
gathered in this world, or they had run out, so the best that could be created
here were blue potions.
"So excluding idea number two, this potion Nfirea made…" He shook the
potion in his hand. "…This potion could be a technological revolution the
likes of which hasn't been seen in hundreds of years. Well, if number three is
right, it could just be a retrogressive failure. Everything depends on how hard
Nfirea works from now on. Understand?"
What he was asking Nfirea to do was to make Yggdrasil potions without
relying on Yggdrasil potion technology or materials. Or to perfect some third
type of potion.
"So are you going to have a lot of people study potions based on this
one?"
Ainz frowned at Narberal's question. "That's a foolish question, Narberal.
Certainly that route would get us to perfection faster, but it's extremely
dangerous. Knowledge is power. To senselessly hand it out is a fool's
errand."
That's exactly how the world of Yggdrasil had been, so Ainz could say it
with confidence.
"For example, we can't say for sure that an advanced form of this potion
wouldn't kill me in one hit, so it's safer to monopolize this technology rather
than spread it around, probably… If our servants are simpleminded, it's fine
to share it with them. We have to advance technology carefully, and that
includes Nfirea's potion. That's why, really, I'd like to lock him up in
Nazarick and have him focus on nothing but research." It would be a good
way to maintain secrecy on top of barring him from using the potions he'd
made.
"So why don't you do that, my lord?"
He could tell she would leap into action as soon as he said the word, so he
answered in a hurry. "Building trust and binding him with chains of gratitude
will lead to greater future profit than forcing him to work from a dungeon. I
had Demiurge analyze this, and it appears that making someone feel indebted
to you is effective—hmm? What is it, Lupusregina?"
"I'm too much of an idiot to understand, so please tell me one thing. If
that's the case, then why did you give a potion to Brita, that adventurer?"
Hearing the name Brita threw Ainz into confusion—because he couldn't
remember having ever heard it. Maintaining an expression—or perhaps an
attitude, since his face didn't shift—that said he had everything under control,
he dug frantically through his memories.
Oh, that potion?
He finally remembered the incident at the inn the first night he had stayed
in E-Rantel.
Recalling what he had said, he was glad he didn't have the sort of body
that broke out in a cold sweat.
What should I do? What should I do?!
He couldn't stay silent forever.
Demiurge! Albedo! Why are neither of you here? Agh, Demiurge is
working outside, and Albedo is in disciplinary confinement. It's too late to
call them back now!
"I see. You don't understand why?"
"No, my apologies. Could you please explain?"
He wanted to scream at her not to ask so innocently. There was nothing he
could do now besides a make-or-break gamble. Having decided that, he felt
bravery welling up inside him.
"Hoo-hoo…ha-ha-ha-ha. Ce-certainly it was a dangerous move, as you
suspected, Lupusregina. There was the possibility of runaway technological
advancement. But I had an important purpose for daring to give her the
potion anyway."
"R-really?! It wasn't just to replace the potion she lost?!"
At the outburst from Narberal, Ainz swallowed what he had been about to
say. He spun up the gears in his brain and remembered that first day in ERantel in more detail.
Oh, right! Back then, I said it was to avoid doing something that would
tarnish my reputation! Crap!
Ainz feigned calm. Lying to cover another lie inevitably led to being
trapped in a corner like this. He frantically scraped together his rapidly fading
courage.
"…Is that really all you thought it was, Narberal?"
"Please excuse my error!"
"…No, you don't have to apologize. At the time, I wasn't sure if it would
work out, so I only mentioned the simpler of my aims."
"So then, what was your true aim?"
In response to Narberal's question, Ainz slowly opened his mouth, but
even at that moment, he had no clue what to say. Just then, though, he was
struck with a hunch and unhesitatingly seized on the idea.
"…Nfirea…" Having made his solemn declaration, he looked at each of
his subordinates. But while Albedo or Demiurge would say something like,
Oh, I see. I would expect nothing less, my lord, at this point, Narberal only
furrowed her brow and said, "Nfirea…my lord?"
Ainz put a hand to his mouth. "Mrph…"
Narberal and the others looked ashamed of themselves. They must have
taken his pose to mean, I've explained this much and you still don't
understand? But actually, he had unconsciously put his hand there while
trying to think what to do next.
For a short while, he was overly nervous, riding the waves of emotion that
were suppressed and renewed in turn, but after the fierce storm, he
discovered an exit. He didn't know what he would find on the other side, but
he was ready to grasp at any straw he had, so he stepped into the dark
unknown.
"…I-I've succeeded in capturing the apothecary Nfirea. Does that answer
your question…? Oh, I know… If someone gave you a potion totally
different from the normal blue ones everyone knows, what's the first thing
you would do?"
"…Ask someone?"
"Yes! You're exactly right, Lupusregina. And just as I planned, she took it
to the most knowledgeable potion merchant in town. That's how I made
contact with Nfirea." He remembered Nfirea telling him that story back in
Carne.
"Oh, I see! So that was your aim!"
"Seems like you get it now. It was bait used to acquire a capable
apothecary. There was a risk of issues in the future depending on how things
turned out, but I decided it had to be done regardless."
Comprehension filled the air, and admiration shone on everyone's faces.
Guess my story lines up…
Then a voice sounded, as if its owner had been waiting for Ainz to
internally sigh in relief. "Um…I don't mean to be rude, but may I ask
something else?"
Agh, just stop. No more questions, Ainz cried inwardly but didn't let the
slightest hint of those feelings show on his face.
"What is it, Lupusregina? If you're sure it's something I should be the one
to answer, go ahead."
"Yes, my lord." She swallowed hard; her expression was earnest. "Do you
always think two or three steps ahead like this when you do something?"
Of course not.
Ainz's actions were mostly haphazard. Sometimes he did think things
through, but most of the time, he was plunged into situations that betrayed his
expectations. He couldn't very well say that to a subordinate, though.
"Of course. I'm the ruler of the Great Tomb of Nazarick, Ainz Ooal
Gown!"
They oohed in admiration, and Lupusregina's eyes went especially wide.
"What is it, Lupusregina?"
"The Resourceful King…"
She practically choked out the words, and Aura took a step forward with a
frown on her face.
But Ainz stopped her. "Don't worry about it. Was that your only
question?"
"Well, I guess I have one more. Why don't you have monsters attack the
village and then save them? I think if you rescued Nfirea and his grandmother
from the burning village, they'd feel even more indebted to you and make
themselves useful…"
"That's not a bad move at all. Perhaps it's worth considering. But in that
case, it's possible that Nfirea would turn his hatred on monsters—he might
not want to cooperate with us anymore… If they were being razed by a group
of humans, it would be different. In that case, we should save Enri Emmott as
well, to tighten our hold."
Although the fact that Carne was useful as a village that the caster Ainz
Ooal Gown had saved did made it a hard decision.
"By the way, the most important person in that village is Nfirea. And
since he's in love with Enri, she is number two. Lastly, there's Nfirea's
grandmother Lizzy. I don't care what happens to the others, but protect those
three at all costs. In a worst-case scenario, guard Nfirea even if it costs you
your life… So, Lupusregina, will that be all?"
"Yes! Thank you!"
"Okay. I forgive this mistake, but now that you know my intentions, I
won't forgive another. You understand, right?"
"Of course, my lord!"
"Good. Then go. Go and do a splendid job."
Lupusregina left with a bow, and Narberal followed her like a prison
guard.
After the two disappeared behind the door, Ainz turned to the guardian
standing by next to him. "So, Aura. Have you heard of the Giant of the East
or the Serpent of the We—"
They heard a voice behind the door say, "Lord Ainz is seriously not
screwin' around! Thinkin' everything out that well before he makes his move
—the word monster doesn't even begin to cover it!" The thick door muffled
it, but it was still loud enough to interrupt the pair's conversation. And if they
could hear it in the room, how loud was it out in the corridor?
"…Should I tell her the door is thinner than she thinks?"
"She's pretty worked up, huh? I could punch—"
Just then from behind the door they heard a difficult-to-place slamming
noise and then the sound of something heavy being dragged away.
"…Looks like you won't need to intervene, Aura. Well, we've been
disrupted, haven't we? Okay, so have you heard of them?"
"Uhh, my apologies. I don't have any information about the Giant of the
East or the Serpent of the West. After the fight with the evil tree, I did a
search of the forest—albeit a quick one—looking for any powerful monsters,
and although I didn't reach the subterranean cave…"
"Well, if they're at Hamusuke's level, I can understand why they
wouldn't catch your attention."
A gardener wouldn't be aware of every bee that flies by. The strong
having that sort of oversight was a fairly difficult issue to solve.
"My apologies. Then, Lord Ainz, shall I mop them up?"
"That's not a bad idea. Maybe we should kill the obnoxious maggots and
bring the forest entirely under Nazarick's control."
"Understood! Then I'll send in a few of my pets."
"Hmm. That's no fun. If this Giant of the East and Serpent of the West are
as strong as Hamusuke, I'm curious to see what they're like."
"Then should I capture them and drag them back here?"
"No, going personally wouldn't be so bad. Thanks to Hamusuke, I've
learned the value of old knickknacks."
Aura looked like she didn't know what he was talking about, and he
smiled at her.
"Of course, that won't be all. Let's see if we can't devise a test for
Lupusregina, too."
7:16 PM Nazarick Time
Fenrir walked leisurely through the dark forest without making a sound. Even
if branches or tangled vines barred his path, neither his movements nor those
of the two riding him were hindered. On the contrary, it was like the three of
them were incorporeal ghosts—they didn't so much as snap a twig.
It was the power of Fenrir's special ability, Land Navigator.
"According to the report from my minions, the lair of what might be the
Giant of the East is up ahead."
The trees grew so thickly in this place that the starlight didn't even shine
through, but Aura didn't sound a bit nervous. Unlike humans and other
beings with ordinary vision, Ainz and the others could see everything as if it
was the middle of the day.
"I see. The Giant of the East and the Serpent of the West, huh? If we're
lucky, they'll be having a party together, but I guess that's a lot to ask. If the
snake isn't here, I'll leave it up to you, Aura."
"Yes, sir! I'll do my best! And how will you deal with these fools who
dare show hostility to you, my lord?"
"I think I'll try talking to them first."
Aura turned around to look at Ainz with a questioning look on her face.
"Huh? You're not going to subordinate them to your will?"
"Well, the Giant of the East and the Serpent of the West are both
unknowns. It's probably better, from a variety of perspectives, to go into it
with that attitude. I'd like to obtain them if they don't exist in Yggdrasil, you
know?"
"You're so kind, Lord Ainz."
She wasn't being sarcastic.
"Y-you think so? I'm really only kind when it benefits me—or members
of Nazarick… If these monsters are like Hamusuke, they might be valuable,
that's all. Might as well take the chance to see what they're about."
"You were mentioning that about Hamusuke earlier, too. Is she really so
valuable?"
"She sure is. She's great for experimenting on."
Hamusuke was currently training as a warrior under the lizardman
Zaryusu. Incidentally, there was another student as well—a death knight Ainz
summoned.
The aim of the training was to test if it was possible for them to acquire
the warrior class. Ainz was especially interested in the death knight's results.
If he could become a warrior, it would be possible to rapidly boost
Nazarick's military strength.
It was probably impossible, but they wouldn't have the results unless they
did the experiment.
"Is that why you're having the blacksmith make her armor? Because she's
so important?"
"You sure have good ears. That's one reason. But if I'm going to ride her
on a battlefield in the future, I need to strengthen her defenses."
If Hamusuke acquired the warrior class, she would probably be able to
wear full plate armor. When he put the heavy armor on her now, her mobility
and evasion capability markedly decreased, so it only made sense…
If she can't operate well in armor unless she acquires the warrior class,
it's just like the game… Well, even I'm bound by the game rules to the point
where I can't even put on metal armor, so compared to that, she has fewer
restrictions… If we had one more Hamusuke, we could investigate the
differences between them…
These gamelike restrictions were another mystery of this world. If he had
Demiurge investigate, he could probably get an accurate understanding of
them, but for whatever reason, he didn't really feel like it.
I might just have to force myself to acknowledge that this world has laws
of magic that are totally different from the laws of physics and accept that
anything could be possible…
"Lord Ainz, is something wrong?"
"Hmm? No, it's nothing. What do you need?"
"Ah, you seemed to be pondering something, so I just wondered if there
was something on your mind."
"Oh. Well, I just got caught up thinking about a bunch of things. It didn't
mean anything else."
"I see."
Seeming relieved, Aura turned back around, and Ainz moved his eyes
down lower from her hair like golden silk. His gaze passed her slim back to
his own hands around her little waist.
Such a delicate waist. I guess this is what kids' hips are like?
Ainz had never had children, so out of curiosity, he patted her waist as if
testing the sturdiness of one of his belongings. Then he brought his hands
higher and lightly struck her back. Since they were riding Fenrir, he
obviously didn't use too much force.
But Aura still jumped and whirled around. "Wah! What, Lord Ainz?" Her
face was bright red—so red even someone without Night Vision would be
able to tell.
"Ah, I just thought you had such a tiny waist. Are you eating enough?
Even with an item that makes it so you don't have to eat, you still can, right?"
"Y-yes. I don't get any magic buffs or anything, but I can eat."
In Yggdrasil, humanoids and subhumans developed in exchange for
having a life span, but grotesques stopped growing after a certain point and
aging ended. If those rules were valid in this world as well, Aura and Mare
would grow up. He didn't want anything bad to happen to them because they
didn't get proper nutrition when they were young.
Since his guildmates weren't around, the growth of these children was
Ainz's responsibility.
"Make sure you're eating!"
"Okay! I'll eat a lot and annoy Shalltear!"
He wondered why Shalltear suddenly came up but decided to ignore it.
"…Items that make eating and drinking unnecessary might be bad for your
development, so it may be better to exchange them for a different magic item.
Growing up… Someday, you two will have lovers, huh?"
Both Aura and Mare were adorable kids. Surely, they'd grow up to be
beautiful young dark elves. Ainz imagined all sorts of people confessing their
love for them—not that he had any experience with that personally, but he'd
seen it in dramas on TV.
Perhaps because of the conversation they'd just been having, he imagined
them surrounded by a ton of Hamusukes.
"Er, huh?"
Little Aura and Mare surrounded by a ton of Hamusukes. It wasn't a bad
scene, but it wasn't at all what he had meant to be envisioning.
A hamster is a mouse relative, so Hamusuke can probably reproduce like
crazy. I wonder if we'll have problems if we don't get her fixed. That said, I
wouldn't mind if she reproduced a little bit… I wonder if there are even
males of her race around…
"What?! It's a bit soon for that, Lord Ainz. I'm still only in my seventies."
"Oh, ahh, I see. So you're still a kid for a while, then. By the way, of the
members of Nazarick, who do you like? What's your type?"
Ainz had zero romantic experience, so he got jealous when he saw a
random handsome fellow flirting with a pretty lady, but he was confident that
he could be genuinely happy for the NPCs.
"I love you, Lord Ainz!"
"Ha-ha. That's sweet of you."
Ainz was glad for little Aura's flattery. Since he loved the NPCs, hearing
they loved him back made him smile.
"So, who do you love the most, Lord Ainz, Albedo or Shalltear?"
"Ha-ha. I love you, Aura."
"Huh?"
Ainz petted her head from behind, letting her golden hair slip between his
fingers.
"What?!"
I guess I need to think about the quality of their education as well. If
there's a dark elf school or something, would Aura and Mare turn out better
if I sent them? I wonder what BubblingTeapot would think if she were here.
School, though…? A rom-com set at a school? Peroroncino was shouting
something about that. That he wanted to established a Nazarick Academy
with Suratan. Wonder where that data went…?
"Whaaaat?!"
"What is it? You're awfully loud, Aura."
"Ah! S-sorry. I know we're near the Giant of the East's house, too…"
"It's fine. You don't need to apologize. More importantly, about your
future…"
"M-my future?"
"Y-yes. Is something wrong? You seem panicky… Did something
happen?"
"N-no. It's nothing. Right. You want to talk about my future?"
"Yeah, I do. In the future, I think it'd be a good idea to visit a dark elf
country, if there is one. I'll have you come with me when the time comes."
"Huh…? Oh, y-yes, sir! That future, right. Understood! I'd be honored to
accompany you. And—oh, we're almost there, Lord Ainz."
Up ahead in the darkness, past where the forest cut off, was an unnatural
light.
"I see. Could you station around us the magical beasts you brought? I'm
going to get ready, too."
Ainz used one of his skills, Summon Upper-Tier Undead.
What appeared was an ominous-looking knight atop a pale-blue horse.
Their numbers increased each time he used the skill.
"Okay, four should be enough. All right, pale riders. You guys stand by in
the air to capture anything that tries to flee."
When the pale riders silently acknowledged their orders and pulled their
reins, the blue horses galloped into the air. Once they turned incorporeal, they
could proceed straight into the sky through any branches in the way.
"Okay, the perimeter is secure. All we have to do now is see if this is our
monster."
"Yes! Oh, you're not going to test his stamina?"
"That's the very last thing. I'm not actually looking for a fight. Let's try to
have a conversation that benefits both parties."
He meant that. It wasn't as if Ainz liked combat. He didn't mind being
cruel if there was something in it for him, but that didn't mean he relished
brutality. He wasn't the type to go out of his way to step on ants on the road.
Nothing would be better than settling this encounter with a discussion.
Fenrir arrived at the edge of the woods. The "edge of the woods" in this
case was the edge of one of the clearings here and there within the forest
where trees didn't grow.
There were some areas where the trees died for special reasons, such as
the way the area around an evil tree was a pile of withered trees. There were
various different reasons, but this clearing was probably created by the
monster.
The trees were scattered around where they had been felled. It was as if
someone had undertaken a large construction project, failed, and abandoned
everything in a huff.
"This is kinda funny. Aura, he must have been trying to copy the building
you're creating. The product of this fool's efforts is appalling. This is what
happens when cave-dwelling creatures try too hard…"
"You're exactly right. Lord Ainz, there's its camp."
In the middle of the abused plot of land, so dead it seemed to have been
burned, was a crevice.
"…No lookout? That's pretty careless. Well, I guess we're not knocking
this time."
Ainz followed Aura toward the cave opening in the ground. When he
peered inside, a gentle slope seemed to lead to a somewhat more spacious
area in the back. The ceiling was quite high, so a fairly large creature could
live there with no trouble.
This reminds me of exploring labyrinths in Yggdrasil. Whenever we found
a cave in the mountains, there was that excitement of wondering what we
would find inside.
Back then, Tigris Euphrates or one of his other guildmates would have
taken the lead and Ainz (Momonga) would have followed. Or they could
summon monsters to send out front, undead in Ainz's case, and have them set
off all the traps, a method called warrior tripping or summons tripping.
Those were good times…
His steps were light as he reminisced, but his good mood lasted only a few
seconds.
He furrowed his nonexistent brow at the smell coming from below. It
wasn't gas but stagnant air reeking of animal fat and putrefaction.
A trap of foul air? I wouldn't expect such an elaborate trap from the kind
of less intelligent creature that would live here… I suppose it could also be a
coincidence.
Because Ainz was an undead, and thus didn't need to breathe, he had
perfect resistance against those sorts of air attacks. Aura had a magic item for
protection, so if the awful stench was an attack, its effects would be cut. At
that point, it was basically only a smell.
"This Giant of the East fellow doesn't seem to be very tidy. I'll settle for
enough intelligence to have a conversation, though…"
"Seriously. But I don't know how much we can expect. From the
footprints, it seems like there are numerous inhabitants of this cave, but none
of them is wearing anything on their feet. Calculating from the large foot
size, I'd say they have to be at least eight feet tall."
"I see… That must be one of them."
As they proceeded steadily down the slope, they could make out a
monster at the bottom.
"Lord Ainz, they're…ogres."
There were two of them ripping something apart and bringing it to their
mouths. A new bloody smell filled the air.
Ainz slowly aimed a finger but then smiled bitterly. If they were raiding a
dungeon, they would kill the ogres without a sound and quietly proceed to the
back to clean the whole place out, but their objective this time was different.
"…Well, we didn't come here to wipe them out. We have to start by
striking up a friendly conversation. Hey, you ogres, there! Sorry to disturb
you at mealtime."
The pair of ogres looked up at Ainz in a synchronized motion. Then they
roared.
The cave echoed a lot, so it was hard to tell for sure, but it seemed like
there were similar roars coming from farther back as well.
"What a vile racket they've got for an intercom system. Aura, fall back."
Ainz sighed a "sheesh" as he watched the ogres charge up the slope at
them. They didn't seem at all interested in talking.
"Skeleton! Skeleton! Enemy!" When the ogres arrived before Ainz,
shouting in their raucous voices, they unhesitatingly raised their clubs.
"I'm sorry—"
With a snarl, the ogres attacked.
"—we entered your house—"
They whacked Ainz, but he wasn't injured, of course, since the clubs
weren't magic.
"—without permission."
The ogres raised their clubs again.
They bashed Ainz's skull, and his vision wavered slightly. He didn't feel
any pain, but they were annoying him. That said, Ainz himself would be
furious and ready to kill anyone who barged into the Great Tomb of
Nazarick. In that sense, it was only natural that they attack him, so it could be
said that he should reconcile himself to that and accept it.
If the messengers of peace drew their weapon, it was too much of an
endgame scenario.
The ogre who arrived later thrust out not his club but his empty hand.
Ainz figured he had come to capture him, seeing as how the others' attacks
weren't working.
His brow twitched but not really, of course, since his entire face was made
of bone.
He was fine with being captured, but his eyes could see through the
darkness that the hand was covered in blood.
"Gross."
He immediately took a wand out of space and waved it. It didn't have any
fancy magic, but one hit from the item specialized in dealing battering
damage was enough to burst the head of the ogre reaching for him. A mixture
of blood and brains spattered the ogre standing next to him, who dropped his
club as he retreated a step. "Y-you…not…skeleton…"
"Yeah, don't lump me in with skeletons. We came to see your boss, the
Giant of the East. Could you call him for me? Well, I imagine he'll show up
if we wait, but…"
Ainz waved his hand at the ogre to be gone, and the creature turned his
back to them and scurried into the depths of the cave.
"…Sheesh. This would have gone faster if they had realized the strength
gap." Ainz rubbed the spot where he had been hit with the club and
descended the short remaining slope.
In the ogres' original position lay the half-eaten corpses of something that
seemed like goblins. How many was unclear, since it was just scattered
remains, but it had to be more than one or two.
Ainz and Aura gave the area a wide berth to avoid the mess and arrived at
the bottom of the cave.
"Damn. I got so annoyed that I accidentally drove them off. My plan was
to hold off on massacring and proceed in an amiable manner unless
negotiations failed…"
"You had no choice, my lord! Those vulgar ogres tried to lay their hands
on you!"
"I'm glad you think so. Squishy Moe always said, 'Punching someone to
get them to listen to what you have to say isn't a bad move,' or was it the
Warrior Takemikazuchi?"
"If one of the Supreme Beings said it, it must be true!"
Before he could remember which of his two extremely different
guildmates had said it, a ton of monsters walked out from the back of the
cave. They were all far larger than humans.
"A mob of trolls? Calling a troll a giant is sort of false advertising, but I
guess it's not a total lie."
Trolls were giants with long noses and ears, incredibly ugly faces, and
brawny bodies that were repulsive in the same way as a deformity. They
wore clothes made from skins of an animal similar to a tiger, with the heads
decorating their shoulders.
They were taller than the ogres, easily over eight feet, and possessed a
shockingly powerful regeneration ability that, unless stopped via fire or acid,
would regenerate them from even a lump of flesh. There were six of those,
plus ten ogres.
The one Ainz paid special attention to was the troll at the head of the
group.
Not only was he physically superior to the other trolls, but his hideous
face projected self-confidence.
Compared to the other trolls, he was also better outfitted.
He wore leather armor that seemed to be made of a number of different
animal skins, and in his huge hands, he held a great sword even more gigantic
than the ones Ainz used as Momon. The sword seemed to be enchanted, and
some kind of slimy liquid flowed continuously down the groove in the center
to the edge of the blade.
"Does that one look as strong as Hamusuke?"
"That's the sense I get, yeah."
Then this troll must be the Giant of the East. So what kind of troll is it?
Ainz observed the Giant of the East closely.
Trolls were highly adaptable, so they were as diverse as the places they
lived.
For example, volcano trolls were resistant to fire. Sea trolls were great
swimmers and could breathe underwater. Mountain trolls were big and
strong. The rare toll trolls that inhabited bridges were another of the many
varieties.
So what was the specialty of the troll standing before Ainz?
The ones adapted to caves were called cave trolls, but this one looked
different from those.
Seeing an unknown type of troll for the first time in this world activated
the merch collector within him.
The Giant of the East was a troll with an extremely rare mutation.
With countless battles behind him, he had adapted to combat and was now
specialized in it. To give his variety a name: war troll. Of all the troll-derived
races, his was the most exceptional. Compared to any other troll the same
age, his combat ability was superior.
Certainly, in terms of size, war trolls lost to mountain trolls, but when it
came to muscles and ability level, their bodies were better. And they wielded
not a primitive, easy-to-use battering weapon but possessed natural prowess
with bladed weapons, which were inferior to clubs without proper technique.
They were trolls awakened as warriors.
"So you're the Giant of the East?" After confirming there was no
objection, Ainz pointed a little to the right of the giant. "Then if you're the
Serpent of the West, I'd be thrilled, so how about it?"
Someone with only ordinary vision would think he was pointing at empty
space. But Ainz, who could see as if it were broad daylight, plainly noticed a
grotesque.
"You might think you've disappeared with Invisibility, but my eyes can
see through that. Why don't you give up the futile tricks and answer me?"
It must have canceled its Invisibility. Where there had been nothing a
moment before, a monster appeared.
It was indeed a serpent. Well, it would be more accurate to say it had the
body of a serpent. It was a grotesque with the thin, withered body of an
elderly human from the chest up and the lower body of a snake.
This type of monster was in Yggdrasil, too; the name came to Ainz's
tongue immediately. "A naga, huh? I guess serpent isn't wrong, but it seems
like there would be a better way to describe it. Well, given what the Wise
King of the Forest turned out to be, maybe I should have guessed…"
"I can't believe you saw through my Concealment; you're nothing but a
—"
"Why are you here, Skeleton?"
The naga's voice was drowned out by the scream that echoed through the
entire cavern. The Giant of the East took a step forward.
Ainz faced him head-on in order to negotiate. "First, allow me to say this
one thing: I'm not a skeleton. I'll take the liberty of having you correct your
mistaken impression."
"What are you if not a skeleton?! I permit you to call me Gu, ruler of the
eastern lands!"
For a moment, Ainz wasn't sure what the troll was saying. First, he
thought it was a word like king or chief, but then he realized the monster had
introduced himself.
"I see, Gu… Apologies for the belated introduction. My name is Ainz
Ooal Gown."
Laughter filled the cave.
"Hwa-hwa-hwa-hwa! That's the name of a coward! It's a pathetic name,
not a powerful one like mine!"
In response to those remarks, the other trolls began emitting grating
laughter in imitation.
"How dare y—"
Aura stepped forward, but Ainz stopped her.
"It's fine. I'm not even offended. Keep your head. We're here as friendly
messengers to talk, but just for my edification, I'd like to ask why you think
my name is cowardly."
"Oh, these fellows believe long names indicate a lack of courage, Mystery
Undead."
It was the naga who replied. The old-man face wore a sarcastic grin.
"So he's not an old knickknack but just a piece of junk, huh? And do you
also think I have the name of a coward?"
"No, I don't think that way—because my name is long, too. I am
Ryuraryusu Spenia Ai Indaloon, whom you call the Serpent of the West,
invader Ainz Ooal Gown. I constantly wish his brains were on par with his
magnificent body. But if that were the case, he surely would have conquered
this forest, so it's tricky."
"…Well, that just saved your life."
When Ainz let slip his feelings, Ryuraryusu gave him a questioning look
and was about to ask what he meant, but the timing didn't work out. Gu and
the other trolls' laughter died down.
"So, weakling, why did you come? Do you want to be eaten? Crunchy
bones are so tasty! I'll start with your head!"
"I'm the one building a fortress in the center of the forest using golems
and undead. Maybe you've heard of me?"
The atmosphere changed. Gu and his men grew intensely hostile, while
Ryuraryusu grew intensely cautious.
"I have, interloper! If this snake hadn't been so whiny, we would have
gone to kill you already! Well, you saved us the trouble, puny black coward!"
"Well that makes this quick. The reason I came is to negotiate with the
two of you."
Ainz gestured at them to bow down. "If you value your lives, submit to
me."
"You idiot! Why would we obey a coward like you? We're going to eat
you! Then we'll eat the runt behind you!"
"Gu, he's the master of that horrible building. It's a big risk to take him
lightly! And that's a dark elf behind him. They were the rulers of this forest
until they fled from the evil tree. They're strong—listen to me!"
Ainz couldn't hold back any longer and burst into refreshing laughter.
"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! You bark better than a dog, you meathead! Then how about
this? The guy you call so weak challenges you, with the tough name, to a
duel. You're not gonna get scared and run away, are you? If you're
frightened, bow your head down to the dirt. I'll keep you as a slave!"
"Interesting! I didn't think I needed help to fight you anyway! I'm going
to tear you apart and devour you!"
"Okay. That's your choice, then. As of this moment, negotiations have
fallen through. Aura, back up a bit. I'm going to play with this one by
myself."
The moment he finished speaking, a sword came swinging down at him
from overhead—a blow from Gu's nearly ten-foot-long blade.
Ainz didn't move. He stood facing the sword and took it head-on.
"Uh?"
"What is it? You seem puzzled."
Ainz didn't so much as flinch. Gu, his ugly face warped in surprise,
swung his sword from the side this time, but Ainz let it hit his body, the same
as before.
"Ngh?!"
Gu retreated a few steps and looked between Ainz and his sword. Then he
confidently turned his back and stood before one of his subordinates.
All of a sudden, the sword sliced through the air into the troll that should
have been on his side. The blade entered at the shoulder and cut smoothly
through the flesh, sending fresh blood spraying everywhere.
The troll emitted a dim-witted shriek.
Gu nodded in satisfaction at the body that tumbled to the ground. He must
have been happy to know nothing was wrong with his weapon.
"Ah, right, trolls can regenerate. Seeing it firsthand like this really is
impressive."
The cut rapidly healed. Rather than the damage rewinding, it was as if the
healing process were fast-forwarded.
Although he had probably tested it due to the regeneration ability, Gu
looked down at his subordinate with a sinister expression that made it seem
like he would have done it regardless.
"Deciding the fate of the weak is the privilege of the strong. But you've
made me extremely…uncomfortable."
Ainz stepped forward. He felt less and less like playing around any
longer.
"Gu! This Ainz Ooal Gown is no normal adversary! We should work
togeth—"
"Shut up! Stay where you are and watch in silence, you coward.
Grraaoohh!"
What came at Ainz was like an explosion of blows. The chain of attacks
unleashed by this body far surpassing human physiques delivered destructive
power on par with those of the highest-class beings he had faced in this
world.
But how much pain would a hit that couldn't knock down a tough castle
wall or put a huge crack in the ground cause for Ainz?
He let the sword slicing through the air hit him.
"Sheesh. Could you stop making wrinkles?" He looked away as though he
had lost interest and tugged his robe, disheveled by the impact, to straighten it
out. Then he suddenly looked up at Gu as though he had just remembered he
was there. "Oh, are you satisfied now?"
"Grraaoohh!"
Having realized his sword wasn't very effective, the troll cast it away and
charged with the intent to punch Ainz. The attack was a swing of a giant
hammer. If it had hit a human, they would have no doubt gone flying in a
splattered mess.
The blow would have been lethal for some, but Ainz took it head-on.
Afterward, he brushed off the place where he had been hit as if something
unclean had touched him.
Gu's attacks stopped. His hideous face warped to be even uglier, and he
stared at Ainz, who remained unflinching.
"You with the heroic name, is that the end of your confident attacks?"
"Your defense is pretty—gyaaaaah!"
Ainz rushed the troll and waved his wand, blowing away half of one of
Gu's legs. Unable to stay upright, his huge body crumpled to the ground.
"So have you got it through your pea brain that just because someone is a
coward doesn't mean they're weak?"
The trolls and ogres watching the battle gasped in shock at the shameful
state of their ruler.
Ainz emitted an annoyed sigh. If this monster only just managed to
understand his situation, he was worth nothing. One with the intelligence to
make a run for it with good timing, however, was a different story.
"Aura. Don't let that one get away. Capture it."
Aura instantly understood what Ainz meant despite his vague instructions.
The naga was attempting to sneak away under cover of Invisibility, but she
arrived at its side instantaneously.
"Lord Ainz, I caught it. Now what?"
Ainz ignored Gu and looked over to where Aura had a one-handed vise
grip on the naga's neck. His attitude spoke volumes to Gu and everyone else
in the room: He didn't consider Gu anywhere near a worthy opponent.
When Gu bared his teeth and growled in response to the scalding
condescension, Ainz didn't care.
"Hey, kid!" The naga wrapped its body around Aura until she was
completely covered. "I'm going to constrict until you pop!"
From inside the ball of snake body came a composed voice. "Uh, I can't
see Lord Ainz's majestic figure like this. If you make a fuss, I'll crush half
your throat—I have to be careful you don't die."
Sensing the power gap from that tiny fist, the naga shrieked and unwound
its body.
"Aura, time is money, and only fools spend unwisely. Please move
somewhere a bit out of the way so it doesn't get killed in the cross fire."
"Understood!"
Aura had no trouble dragging away the naga, though it was several times
her weight, and Ainz shifted his gaze from that scene to Gu, who was finally
able to stand up after the flesh around his stump bulged and his muscles
healed thanks to his regeneration ability.
"You're patched up? Then shall we continue?" Ainz tapped his wand on
his shoulder and readied himself in an unconcerned way. His attitude made it
clear he wasn't going to bother defending himself.
"Wh-what d-did you do? What are you doing? Magic?"
When Gu, with his sword up, withdrew a few steps, Ainz stepped forward
after him. Ainz's gait was short compared to Gu's, so there was more space
between them now than before they had started the fight.
"Hmph," Ainz snorted. "What's this? How strange. I'm the one with the
cowardly name, but I stepped forward, while you with the brave name are
backing away. Why is that, Gu?"
The answer came in a monotone. "It's because Lord Ainz's name is brave,
and Gu is a weird, cowardly name, right, snake?"
"Y-yez! An' you, Lord Ainz Ooal Gown, are the proof of thad!"
Ainz nodded a few times at the one cute girlish voice and the other
sobbing voice.
"I see, I see. That makes sense, then. So short names are cowardly, and
Ainz Ooal Gown is a name for great, courageous people, right?"
"Why you!"
"Shush, coward."
Gu overcame his fear with fury and lashed out, but Ainz neither defended
nor dodged but swung back with his wand. He didn't allow it to be blocked
with the sword or evaded.
The wand obliterated one part of Gu's body.
"Khaaaaa!"
Amid the echoing scream, Gu's subordinates looked on in fear.
"I'd expect nothing less from a troll. You can be turned into hamburger
meat and still come back to life. But it does seem to hurt. That last blow was
your weakest yet—the swing of a coward with defense in mind, trying to
protect himself from my attacks."
Ainz was looking at Gu's head, which was now half its original thickness.
Any normal creature would be dead, but Gu returned to his former shape
before Ainz's eyes.
Though the troll had gone back to normal, his face was bizarrely
contorted. There was terror in his eyes—the fear of someone helpless, twice
as intense as before.
"Wh-what are you? Why don't my attacks work?"
Ainz cocked his head. Then he slowly spread his arms. "…I am death.
And I have come to deliver it unto thee."
"K-kill him, you guys!"
"Oh-ho, just what I'd expect from a guy with such a cowardly name.
Breaking your word to duel me one-on-one? How fitting. So I'll forgive
you," Ainz said in extremely good humor.
Captive to the fear of an unfathomable monster, Gu's subordinates moved
sluggishly. No matter how stupid they were, they could sense Ainz's might,
and they had just gotten such an eyeful of it they felt sick. Within them, two
fears were in conflict; they all hesitated, looking between Ainz and Gu.
"Now!"
They still didn't move. How could they?
That went for Ainz as well. Everyone was frozen in a delicate balance. If
anyone moved, the balance would collapse and everyone would go scattering.
It would be a pain if they ran away. Chasing them all down individually to
kill them would be a bother.
"Then, yeah, playtime is over."
Ainz activated a skill that he didn't consider very effective but was
actually overpowered in this world. Aura of Despair V.
The aura radiated from his core and spread throughout the area.
The ogres, the trolls, and Gu crumpled to the ground exactly like
marionettes whose strings had been cut.
Sprawled on the ground, the monster didn't so much as twitch. It was
clear that though the bodies were still warm, the flames of their lives had
gone out.
In the now silent cave, a fearful elderly voice echoed out. "Wh-what did
you do?"
Ainz turned to look at the naga, who was shrinking back in order to move
even a short distance away, and answered. "I just used a skill. Trolls may be
able to regenerate, but that doesn't mean they have perfect resistance to
instadeaths… You're all worthless in the first place. I thought rather than
meaninglessly killing you, I would use you for something, but I figured if you
refused to bow to my rule, I would off you and be done with it."
"I will be your servant! Yielding to the strong is only natural for the weak.
Going forward, I would like to exert myself to the fullest for you, my lord."
Ainz looked quietly at the naga pressing its head into the ground and then
shrugged lackadaisically. "…Well, whatever. I don't care. I mean, I did come
here to negotiate, after all."
"T-terrible. You truly think nothing of me at all. Though I have ruled the
western forest all this time, you feel about the same for me as if I were a rock
on the ground that just happened to look like an animal."
"No, I have a little more interest in you than that. You mentioned
something about dark elves, didn't you? I'd like to hear more."
"Of course…of course, my lord. I will tell you everything I know! So…"
Ainz gestured for it to continue, so the naga spoke again. "If I talk, please
don't kill me."
"I can promise that. If you work earnestly and loyally for me, I'll provide
adequate compensation. Before that, do you have any underlings? Were you
ruling the western region on your own in the same way that Hamusuke—er,
the Wise King of the Forest—ruled the south?"
"No, I have subordinates. But I didn't bring them to this talk with Gu.
They don't have the power to turn invisible and flee in the event the
discussion broke down."
"I see. Next question: Do you have any trolls?"
"Just one."
"Wonderful. So can we have him play the role of the Giant of the East?
Er, well, no, that's tricky… Okay, in a few days I'll bring some of my—
No…you should come to the building this one's constructing. Aura, let it go."
"Are you sure?"
"It's fine. It swore its allegiance. If it betrays us, I'll just come up with a
different way to use it."
Aura's slender hand let go of the naga's neck. Beneath it was a blue bruise
in the shape of her grip.
No longer paying attention to the nervous yet somewhat relieved naga,
Ainz walked over to Gu's corpse.
"I can't remember what the stats for troll zombies are like."
Ainz could create undead from corpses using a skill. They were only
zombies and skeletons, but depending on the corpse he started with, the
zombies could be fairly strong. For a well-known example, dragon zombies.
Ainz picked up the fallen great sword. It was far longer than Ainz was
tall, so he took advantage of the basic ability contained in magic items to
convert it to an appropriate size. If he tried to swing a sword too big for him
to equip, the action would be immediately canceled, but just holding it was
no problem.
"I guess I should up the fighting power of the individuals in that village.
Maybe giving them this magic weapon is a good way to do that. After all,
there's no point in bringing it back to Nazarick."
"Lord Ainz Ooal Gown!"
You still have more to say? Ainz turned apathetically back to the naga.
"Th-there's no way I could possibly betray you, my lord. Who could, who
has seen your chilling eyes and the way they gaze at us like an ant at the side
of the road?"
"I don't think my eyes are that expressive, but is that a special ability you
have? Demiurge is observant, but not even he can understand how I truly
feel."
"It's not a special ability, but I can at least tell whether someone takes an
interest in me or not."
Ainz thought maybe nagas had a racial skill or something. "I see… Got it.
Now get out of here and bring us your underlings. That's your first order."
"Yes, sir!"
4
9:07 PM Nazarick Time
Demiurge arrived at Ainz's office with his usual elegance. First, he bowed
deeply to Ainz, seated before him, then shallowly to Mare and Cocytus, who
were also present. To the maid in the room, he nodded.
Ainz replied with a nod and continued his Message with Entoma. "All
right, Entoma. Give Lupusregina permission. Just make sure she protects
those three with her life."
"Understood. I'll give her the orders."
Demiurge strode to the center of the room. Ainz had to wonder jealously
how he managed to look so cool when he walked. Every movement is
bursting with confidence. Is it because he stands so straight?
Demiurge stopped sharply, and Ainz came back to himself. "Thanks for
coming, Demiurge."
"My lord! Thank you very much for the invitation. Have you finished
your Message with Entoma?"
"There weren't any issues. I got the report, and she had some questions.
The test went fine."
"Wonderful. And thank you for working around my schedule."
"No worries, Demiurge. It's only natural to schedule around the man who
works the hardest for Nazarick. And you're not late at all, so really, don't
worry about it… Now, I'd like to ask for your impressions…" Ainz handed
him a piece of paper. When he had seen that Demiurge's eyes had gone over
it, he asked a question. "As you can see, it's a menu, but what do you think?
It's for a human couple and possibly a child."
"…I think humans should eat anything you serve them without
complaints, my lord, but that isn't the answer you're looking for, so…not all
children can appreciate foie gras. Also, don't you think it might be good to
have something a bit lighter?"
"I see. Thanks for the input."
"Oh, you needn't thank me… Lord Ainz, are you inviting someone to the
Supreme Beings' sacred tomb?"
"Yeah. I'd like to give them a nice welcome."
Well, less making them welcome than winning them over. Essentially, he
was using his assets to pressure them and presenting them with benefits in
order to maintain good relations going forward.
"Are you sure?"
"Why not? Is there a problem with it?"
"No, my lord, nothing like that. Your word is correct."
Back in the days of the game, they almost never invited non–guild
members to the Great Tomb of Nazarick. They invited member Yamaiko's
little sister, whose screen name was "Akemi-chan," a few times, but that was
about it. Still, there was never any rule that said they couldn't have anyone
over. It just happened that they hadn't really.
So I don't think any of my guildmates would be upset if I invited Nfirea
and Enri. There's a clear difference between raiders and guests.
Demiurge seemed to have something on his mind, but Ainz addressed him
and the two waiting guardians. "Guardians, you're ready for the baths?"
"Apologies, but Mare and I will pick up what we need on the way."
"I see. Cocytus, you brought your own supplies? Then let's meet in front
of the baths. Inclement, if anyone comes to see me, have them wait."
"Understood."
Upon getting the maid's response, Ainz stood up and left his room. After
stopping the servants who were going to follow him, he led the way to the
bathhouse, which was also on the ninth level.
Personally, Ainz wanted to walk side by side and chat on their way, but
Cocytus was too reserved for that. He probably hadn't noticed Ainz feeling a
bit lonely, but he did close the distance between them a little and ask, "LORD
AINZ. THERE SEEMED TO BE FEWER EIGHT-EDGED ASSASSINS IN
YOUR ROOM. DID YOU SEND SOME SOMEWHERE?"
Though disappointed he brought up work, Ainz consoled himself, That's
how small talk goes sometimes. He concealed the fact that his voice had been
about to come out so happily. "They're at the inn in E-Rantel. Narberal is in
my room in case of any unexpected visitors; they should be keeping an eye
on her from a distance."
"ISN'T IT DANGEROUS TO LEAVE ONLY NARBERAL?"
"It probably is. Now would be the time to attack."
"I SEE. SO SHE'S LIVE BAIT, THEN?"
"Yeah. If the enemy who brainwashed Shalltear is watching us, Narberal
would be a drool-worthy target. No one has attempted to approach Momon,
who defeated the immensely powerful vampire Shalltear (well, under a
different name), so if Momon isn't around, and it's just one caster, then…"
"THEY'LL BITE?"
"Who knows? If they did, we'd catch them for sure." Ainz gestured
pulling up a fishing rod.
"THEN WILL WE MOBILIZE THE ENTIRE ARMY?"
"Ha, no. First, we'll investigate our opponent. If they're equal or stronger
than us, we'll have to adjust our attitude accordingly."
Cocytus emitted a little groan like he understood but couldn't endure such
a thing. "LOGICALLY, I UNDERSTAND THAT WE NEED TO BE
PATIENT, BUT MY EMOTIONS REMAIN AGITATED."
"We only have to wait until we've made a careful investigation of our
opponent and grasped their weakness. Once that's done, we'll rip their
intestines apart with our teeth and make them faint from the pain. To
brainwash Shalltear and force me to kill her is a serious crime."
Even if their opponent was a player, Ainz didn't feel any particular
affinity with them. The ones Ainz was close to were his guildmates and their
NPCs. If players came out swinging, he would use pain to teach them what
fools they were.
"One good turn deserves another, but that goes for bad turns, too. It's only
natural." Ainz smiled with an air of indifference. The thought that they would
be able to do even better experiments if they had players to work with excited
him. They would start with the horrible ones he could never perform himself
—terminal ones.
"AN EYE FOR AN EYE AND A TOOTH FOR A TOOTH?"
"Yes. But did you know that those words are also meant to prevent
excessive retaliation? I want to retaliate excessively, so I don't use that
saying." Ainz continued in his head, …Is what Squishy Moe used to say.
"OH! JUST WHAT I'D EXPECT FROM LORD AINZ! NOT ONLY IS
YOUR COMBAT PROWESS WORTHY OF ADMIRATION BUT SO IS
YOUR WISDOM."
Ainz didn't have to turn around to feel the wave of respect aimed at him.
"SO WILL YOU SPEND THE REST OF THE DAY AT NAZARICK,
MY LORD?"
"No, after we have our bath, I'll work here for a bit before going back in
the middle of the night. I have a lot to do over there, too. What are you up
to?"
"MY PLAN IS TO RETURN TO MY GUARD DUTIES AT
NAZARICK FOR A WHILE. I'VE TAKEN CARE OF ALL THE THINGS
I FELT I SHOULD BE PRESENT FOR IN PERSON, SUCH AS
EXPLORING THE VICINITY OF THE LAKE."
"So once you've returned, the ones working outside Nazarick will be
Demiurge with his various responsibilities, Sebas and Solution collecting
intelligence in the royal capital, Aura building our base in the forest, and
Narberal and me?"
"THAT ONE OF THE SUPREME BEINGS IS DOING THE WORK WE
SHOULD BE DOING DOESN'T SIT VERY WELL WITH ME…"
"Ha-ha. Forgive me, Cocytus."
"ME FORGIVE YOU? HOW ABSURD. YOU ARE THE RULER OF
THIS LAND, LORD AINZ. YOUR WORD IS LAW. WHAT I SAID
EARLIER WAS SIMPLY SOME FOOLISH NONSENSE. MOREOVER—"
The atmosphere shifted and Ainz thought, Hmm? He looked over his
shoulder at Cocytus's dark—though he couldn't read his emotions—
expression.
"IF WE WERE ALL AS OUTSTANDING AS DEMIURGE, YOU
WOULDN'T NEED TO GO OUT YOURSELF, MY LORD.
ULTIMATELY, IT'S OUR LACK THAT—"
"No, that's not right. You were each made for specific purposes, so it's
important that you all do the jobs you were made for. To be frank, you don't
need to be able to do anything else. Demiurge is versatile due to his
knowledge and wisdom. That's all."
Cocytus didn't seem quite convinced, so Ainz continued.
"If you want, you can increase your repertoire little by little. Yeah, you
should be learning by reigning over the lizardman village, right? Your
experiences in governance there will surely benefit you. And if you continue
on like that step by step, someday you'll be as versatile as Demiurge."
"DO YOU REALLY THINK IT'S POSSIBLE?"
"I don't think it's impossible." Ainz spoke euphemistically. "No one can
match Demiurge when it comes to strategy. Aspiring to be a man like that is a
long, hard road, but your efforts will not be in vain. That's how I see it."
The two of them walked in silence down the corridor. Then Cocytus said
quietly as if squeezing out the words, "THANK YOU, LORD AINZ."
"I haven't said anything that deserves thanks, you know. All right,
Cocytus, we're almost to the baths. Stow that gloom away somewhere before
Demiurge and Mare get here."
"YES, SIR!"
Spa Resort Nazarick on Nazarick's ninth level was a wonderful facility
containing a total of seventeen baths, including men's and women's, of nine
different types. The most unusual was probably the Cherenkov bath. The blue
light so bright it seared one's eyes made for a luxurious atmosphere.
When Ainz and Cocytus arrived, they ran into someone they didn't expect
to see.
"Lord Ainz!" The exclamation point might as well have been dotted with
a heart. It was Albedo. No, not just Albedo. Behind her came Shalltear and an
exhausted-looking Aura.
Meanwhile, Demiurge and Mare were nowhere to be found. Are they
waiting in the changing room?
"A-Albedo. What are you doing here?"
"Huh? We thought we'd all come take a bath… Is that why you're here,
too?"
"Oh, right… Yes. Exactly. What a coincidence, Albedo."
"It really is…! I've heard it's good to get some exercise and work up a bit
of a sweat before taking a bath. Maybe I should sweat with you, my lord."
A chill went up Ainz's spine.
"Ping-Pong or something like that wouldn't be bad…"
"That's not what I'm talking about, you meanie."
With the swift motion of a level-100 warrior—impossible for a caster to
evade—she approached Ainz, who was dressed in only a single robe, and
reached out a finger to doodle on his chest. But it slipped—fwoop—right
between his ribs.
"Ah."
"Oh."
Their voices were loud in the quiet corridor.
Of all the stupid things that could happen. Ainz winced and was about to
say something to Albedo when her next comment made his face twitch.
"My finger went into your special spot…"
Albedo's cheeks were red, and her eyes glistened. A fragrant perfume was
in the air—like the scent he sometimes detected in his bed.
"Hey, I know I've asked this before, but has she always been this weird?"
Ainz asked Aura in earnest, with zero affectation, as she flailed around,
trying to restrain Shalltear.
"…Sorry, Lord Ainz. A lot has happened. Uh, you know how things are in
Nazarick—please just consider this overtiredness."
"W-well, I guess it can't be helped, then. H-hmm. Albedo, I appreciate
your hard work every day."
As Ainz was about to swiftly move away, a hand clutched his robe. He
didn't even have to look down to know who it was. "Seriously, Albedo,
what's wrong with you? What has you so worked up?"
"When you say those things to me…a flame lights in my breast. I can feel
it all the way in my stomach, a twinge. So, Lord Ainz—!"
"No, hol— Wai— Calm down, Albedo! C-Cocytus!"
"I'LL HANDLE THIS."
A wave of chill blew down the corridor. The sudden change in
temperature seemed to bring Albedo to her senses, and the light of reason
appeared in her eyes once more.
"I CAN'T STAND BY AND WATCH THIS DISRESPECTFUL
BEHAVIOR TOWARD LORD AINZ, EVEN IF YOU ARE THE CAPTAIN
OF THE GUARDIANS."
Cocytus stepped between Ainz and Albedo with a silver spear in his
hands, and it was clear that depending on her reaction, he wouldn't hesitate to
gut her.
"Please excuse me, Lord Ainz. It seems I forgot myself."
"I accept your apology, Albedo."
Following that act by his master, Cocytus withdrew, but he didn't put
away his spear yet.
"I know how much pressure your job puts on you. I'm sure there are times
you lose yourself and just want to vent. For now, have a nice soak and relieve
some of that stress. Cocytus, thanks for your assistance."
When he had said what he had to say, he headed into the men's bath and
was just about to duck under the curtain at the entrance when he heard
footsteps behind him.
"…Why are you following me, Albedo? Just in case, I'll remind you: This
is the men's bath, and you go in the women's bath."
"I thought I would wash your back…"
"…No. Besides, I'm not going alone; I'll be with the other male
guardians. Do you mean to say you have no problem showing them your
body?"
He thought she might say it was fine, since she was a succubus, but she
answered immediately. "There's a family bath in another area…"
"That's not what family baths are for!"
"But, Lord Ainz, it's not fair for you to give your affection only to them."
"That's right! Quite right!" said Shalltear, stopping Aura from breathing
from her mouth. The dark elf was just being dragged along. Her eyes were
open but contained no light. Cocytus stood behind them, miffed.
What kind of affection is taking a bath together…? Albedo has been
seriously weird lately, ever since… Could that be why she's so off the rails?
"Albedo. First, let me say one thing. I like women better than men. I'm
purely heterosexual." Albedo was about to say something, but he raised a
hand to stop her. "In the future, who knows what kind of relationships we'll
have, but right now, when our place in this world is uncertain, I can't have
relationships of that sort with any of you, as leader of the organization."
Albedo's brow furiously furrowed.
"In the first place, you're like the daughters of my best friends to me…
It's a bit too complicated."
"I was wondering what you were doing standing around outside the
entrance, and it appears you're bothering Lord Ainz."
"S-sis is…d-dead…"
"I am not!" came the retort from the lifeless girl.
"We've been waiting for you guys."
"Terribly sorry to be late… Perhaps our captain needs to learn to control
her emotions?"
Demiurge's slit eyes were just slightly open. His gaze was clearly hostile.
The atmosphere was filled with the serious vibes that show how frightening it
was when someone who was usually so mild got angry. Cocytus followed
suit and went on guard against Albedo.
Albedo, as always, remained smiling. Well, perhaps her smile intensified.
"You fools!" Ainz roared in spite of himself. "How dare you squabble
among yourselves in front of me! You idiots!"
All the guardians shivered and dropped to one knee.
"Apologies, Lord Ainz!"
"…It's fine. Stand up, everyone." Upon confirming they were all on their
feet, he spoke in a mild tone one would use to reprove children. "Stop
bickering about stupid, pointless stuff. That sort of thing is what disappoints
me the most. Got it?"
Hearing everyone's acknowledgment, Ainz felt his anger completely
disappear.
"Okay, let's take a bath and refresh. Men, come with me. Aura, I appoint
you the observer of the women. Make sure those two don't try to pull
anything stupid."
"Understood!"
A fire leaped into Aura's eyes. Perhaps she thought this was her chance to
counterattack—Shalltear and Albedo couldn't conceal their alarm at the
blazing heat wave.
Ainz went through the curtain that said MEN, choosing to ignore the
clamorous voices he could hear behind him.
He took off his clothes in the locker room. If he had come with his usual
gear set, there would have been a lot to remove, but since he had prepared
ahead of time, he could disrobe quickly.
He threw off his clothes and walked forward.
Whenever I'm naked I wonder how I manage to move…
He was a skeleton with neither flesh nor muscle. According to Satoru
Suzuki's common sense, he was impossible. Of course, in this world it was
natural, so he just had to accept it, but questions like these still popped into
his head from time to time.
"I'm going in."
"P-please wait!"
Mare ran over to him buck naked.
He may have been an exceedingly effeminate boy, but seeing him like this
made it clear he was male.
His build was that of a child, with basically no muscle. The fact that a
body that would probably squish when poked could unleash so much power
struck Ainz as another one of this world's unfathomable laws.
As he examined Mare's nakedness thinking those things, he gave the boy
a warning. "Don't run in here. It's dangerous with the wet floor."
A guardian couldn't die from slipping and cracking their head open, but
Mare looked so much like a child Ainz couldn't help but worry.
"Y-yes, sir. My apologies."
You don't have to apologize, thought Ainz.
"Sorry to have kept you waiting." Demiurge and Cocytus appeared.
Demiurge's body was toned and muscular, sleek. Even though the parts
beneath his clothes couldn't be fully designed, with those muscles he
definitely looked like the work of Ulbert.
"Nothing different about you, huh, Cocytus?"
"Well, he's always naked."
"COULD YOU PLEASE STOP MAKING ME SOUND LIKE A
PERVERT?"
"Sorry. You've got outer skin armor, so it's no wonder you always look
the same."
Outer skin armor was a type of bodily armament. As with Shalltear's nails
and fangs, the hardness and resistance, as well as the amount of data crystals
it could be augmented with, increased as the character leveled up.
There were many pros to this sort of armor, including less gear swapping,
simple repairs after being damaged by a weapon-breaking attack using any
healing spell that recovered HP, and the assurance that it couldn't be dropped
upon death.
On the other hand, there were some cons as well. Its stats would never
match up to the main gear of a player of the same level. Even a bodily
armament at level 100 almost never reached God tier. Maybe someone with a
class that could acquire skills to boost bodily armaments could push it to God
tier, but Ainz wasn't sure if it was really possible or not.
For a player, that seemed like an awful lot of cons, but for an NPC it was
a great option. With bodily armaments, they didn't require a ton of different
gear, which meant less work for the player who created them.
"THANK YOU." Cocytus bowed.
It wasn't as if he had said it to defend him, but…
Is he being tormented—or messed with—over this so much that it
warrants a thank-you? Maybe I should say something to the others…
Is this what a teacher feels like when there's bullying going on in the
class? Ainz wondered how Yamaiko felt as he called to members of the
men's bath group. "Okay, let's go."
Ainz led the way into the baths.
The large facility was divided into twelve areas.
First were the baths. The largest was the jungle bath, then there was the
atmospheric ancient Roman bath, the yuzu bath, the carbonated bath, the jet
bath, the electric bath featuring a low-level current that caused a full-body
tingling sensation, a cold bath with charcoal floating in it, the Cherenkov bath
with its mysterious light caused by who knew what, and the mixed-sex
outdoor (though the scenery was artificial) bath.
Besides that, there was also a sauna, a hot-stone spa area, and finally the
recreation room.
"So where should we go? I'd like to hear your suggestions."
"I FIND THE COLD BATH A TEMPTING CHOICE. I WOULD LIKE
TO INTRODUCE YOU TO THE DELIGHTS OF A COLD BATH, LORD
AINZ."
Ainz had resistance to chill, so getting into a freezing cold bath wouldn't
bother him, but going to the cold bath first seemed wrong.
"Cocytus…we came here for a relaxing soak…"
Cocytus realized what the issue was once Mare voiced an objection.
Another comment followed.
"We came to soak, so we should probably choose a warm bath that will
improve our circulation… Oh, wait. I should probably ask: Can you go in hot
water? You won't cook like a lobster or something, will you?"
"NO PROBLEM. MY EXOSKELETON PROVIDES FIRE
RESISTANCE, DESPITE YOU ALL CALLING ME NAKED." He
chuckled proudly.
"Uh, so, in that case I think a normal bath would be fine."
"THE COLD BATH IS THE BEST… IT FEELS GREAT IF YOU GO IN
HUGGING A BLOCK OF ICE…"
"I won't say it's only you, but it has to be a very tiny minority who enjoy
that…"
"W-well, this won't be any fun if we all go separate ways. Let's just head
around to each bath in turn. We can start with the normal jungle one. My
friend worked really hard on creating it."
Everyone said they were looking forward to it, although Cocytus sounded
a bit forlorn, and Ainz led them to the jungle bath.
The jungle was thick with artificial flora. Though he knew it was fake, it
seemed so real that it felt like a monster would come crawling out at any
moment.
"This is a bath based on a place that used to really exist, the Amazon
River. Belliver helped Blue Planet build it."
The guardians were impressed. Ainz took a pail and bath stool into the
washing area ahead of them.
Why are all the pails in this spa yellow? I heard it's traditional, but…
Maybe it's just the standard color?
"This goes without saying, but you need to wash before you get in the
bath. The way I wash myself gets stuff everywhere, though, so you guys
should keep your distance."
With that, he dumped the pail of hot water over his head. The liquid
dropped surprisingly quickly through his body and splashed hard on the floor.
Since he was full of gaps, it was really hard to get his body wet with just one
pailful. After a few more, he was finally wet all over, so he took out the brush
he had brought along.
He squirted a generous amount of liquid soap on it and began scrubbing.
Once again, due to the gaps in his body, he might as well have been
scrubbing a colander; bubbles went flying everywhere.
Yeah. I should have brought my cute little bath buddy Sankichi.
He didn't want his subordinates to see him covered in goop, so he hadn't
brought the slime along, but he hadn't washed himself in a while, and it was
quite a pain.
As Ainz was scrubbing with all his might, Mare approached with a yellow
stool in one hand. He seemed nervous, but his face, flushed from the heat of
the bath, gave Ainz a smile.
"L-Lord Ainz, I-I'll wash your back!"
"Hmm? Oh! I see. You'll wash it for me? But my body is such a pain. Use
the brush. It'll be too hard to do with a cloth."
Ainz turned his back and Mare slowly began to scrub.
"Hey, you're pretty good at this."
"Thank you!"
Really, he had no standards for good or bad, but his gratitude toward Mare
inspired him to say that.
When Ainz looked to see how the other two were doing…
"Okay, then I'll wash your back."
"MUCH OBLIGED."
…he couldn't help but smile ear to ear, not that his skull had ears.
The Great Tomb of Nazarick is the best place there is.
He smiled even more when he heard the boy's voice behind him saying,
"Okay, so I washed that spot."
"Thanks, Mare. Next, I'll wash your back. Come on."
Ainz grabbed the flustered boy's shoulders and whirled him around. Then
he grabbed his towel and put soap on it.
He rubbed carefully so it wouldn't hurt, aiming for a less forceful version
of the way he washed himself.
"It doesn't hurt, does it?"
"I-I'm all right!"
After washing Mare's bizarrely stiff back, he handed the towel back to
him.
"You can do the front yourself, right?"
"O-of course!"
Ainz picked up his brush and began working on his ribs, careful not to
spatter Mare.
"I'll be inside."
Demiurge, having finished washing, headed for the bath, his tail swaying.
Next was Cocytus, whose body was probably second to only Ainz's in
difficulty to wash, but since he could use four arms, it didn't take so long.
After that, of course, was Mare. Ainz didn't finish until a few minutes after
everyone else.
The bath was fairly large, and water poured out of the mouths of quite
detailed lion statues. The air was hot. As he waded through the steam, he
noticed Cocytus slightly off to one side while the other two were soaking
together, having secured a reasonable amount of personal space.
"Ahh, this feels great."
Ainz had the idea that kids usually swam around in the bathwater, but
Mare just relaxed with his towel on his head. Seeing the boy act like more of
a tired adult, he was shocked. The guardians' jobs must be seriously
exhausting.
"Yeah. It feels almost like the tiredness gets rinsed out of your core."
Demiurge had taken off his glasses. He cupped some water and poured it
over his face with a sigh like a middle-aged man.
"IT'S SO HOT…"
"Huh? W-wait, I thought you said you had resistance."
"I DO, BUT I NEVER GO TO SUCH HOT PLACES, SO I'M NOT
USED TO IT."
"…Still, that's no excuse to use your chill aura. Please don't come over
here. A bath is more comfortable when it's hot."
Ainz realized why Cocytus was off on his own. The area in his vicinity
was probably only lukewarm.
"YOU HAVE FLAME RESISTANCE, SO MAYBE IT'S GOOD FOR
YOU, DEMIURGE, BUT…THE COLD BATH ISN'T BAD, EITHER,
YOU KNOW."
"Not interested. Besides, I turned down my resistance to enjoy this. Don't
you have the strength to withstand a little pain?"
"THAT'S A PRETTY DULL CHALLENGE COMING FROM YOU,
DEMIURGE, BUT I LIKE IT."
"Cut it out. We're in the bath to have fun. If you want to test each other's
endurance, go to the sauna. You don't have to soak in here if it's not fun for
you."
Mare, whose face was beaded with sweat, let out a steamy sigh.
"Look. That's how you enjoy a bath. Mare, get out if you start cooking."
"I-I'm all right, Lord Ainz! I'll use magic if I need to!"
That's sort of missing the point, too, thought Ainz, but he didn't say so.
Instead, he looked over at Demiurge. "…Do you think you should bathe if
you have to use resistance?"
"Isn't that one way to do it, Lord Ainz? You don't overheat because
you're an undead, right? That strikes me as sort of the same thing."
"…You're right."
He could feel the warmth seeping into his body, but it didn't feel as good
as it did when he was human.
I guess there are pluses and minuses to being undead…
As he was lamenting his lost happiness…
"Hmm?"
He looked up and around the steamy bath.
"What is it, my lord?"
"I thought I heard someone call my name…"
"MAYBE FROM NEXT DOOR?" Cocytus pointed at the wall he was
leaning against.
"Over there is…ah, the women's bath?"
"I see. But aren't those walls supposed to be pretty thick?"
"MAYBE THE VOICES ARE LOUDER DUE TO THE ECHO?"
Ainz focused his ears in spite of himself. He didn't have any untoward
purpose; he was simply curious as to what the women talked about when they
were alone. So he didn't do anything unbecoming of the ruler of the Great
Tomb of Nazarick, like press his ear up against the wall. On the contrary, he
moved away from the wall and lingered across from it.
"Albedo, you have a lot of hair down there!"
Ainz frowned at the conversation he heard.
"Aura, don't make it sound so weird! Ahh, Lord Ainz must be just over
this wall. I wonder if there's a peephole."
Ainz earnestly scanned the wall, suddenly worried someone had included
some kind of pervy prank. There was a period during which the members of
the guild really got into making that sort of thing. There was a good chance
some kind of gimmick was left over from those days.
"Isn't it usually the other way around?"
"Lord Ainz would never do that. If he wanted to see us, all he would have
to do is order us to show him, so there's no need to peep."
"Oh, for once you said something that made sense, Shalltear."
"For once? How rude. But hey, is that a toothbrush? I wish you wouldn't
brush—er, wash—in the water."
"I can't help it. It's so hard for me to wash; I can really only manage it in
a big bathtub like this."
He heard Albedo's voice from a slightly elevated position and then a loud
brushing noise.
"Ah, I see what you mean. I guess it's fine, then."
"Thanks."
"Ugh, don't stare like that. It's creepy. You're not going to brush,
Shalltear?"
"I brush normally in my room, so there's no need. Speaking of which,
though, is it even possible for us to get cavities?"
"Even if we can't, kissing with stinky breath could cool a love that blazed
for a hundred or even a thousand years."
The brushing stopped, and he heard someone moving around.
"What? Are you going in like that? At least—"
There was a huge splash and the sound of the water sloshing around. She
must have jumped in quite energetically.
"Gagh!" Shalltear coughed. "If I were like a vampire from a story, I
would have sunk in the running water!"
"C'mon, you're not a kid. No jumping."
"Tee-hee-hee. Ahh, this feels so good. We should come here more often."
"Maybe if you learned proper bathing etiquette…"
"What? Huh? The lion moved!"
"If you don't know the etiquette, you aren't qualified to take a bath! This
is an execution!"
At the sudden male voice, Ainz and the other guys all looked at one
another.
"U-uh, that sounded like a man just now."
"IS THERE A BATHHOUSE DOMAIN GUARDIAN WE DIDN'T
KNOW ABOUT? BUT I CAN'T BELIEVE THERE WOULD BE A MAN
IN THE WOMEN'S BATH."
"No, I've heard this voice before… It's Luci Fer."
Hearing the troublemaker's voice reminded Ainz of various problems
he'd caused. Honestly, he didn't care for the guy.
"A Supreme Being?! Really?!"
"It's hard! That's no mere iron golem. Albedo!"
"Die, golem-craft garbage!"
Something slammed into the wall with tremendous force and a loud bang.
The blow even shook the walls of the men's bath.
"…I guess we should arm ourselves and get ready to charge into the
women's bath."
The guardians didn't seem very keen on that order.
If friendly fire weren't on, it would have been only a joke, but under their
current circumstances, it could really end up becoming a fight to the death.
Moreover, they were vulnerable with their gear off. There was a distinct
possibility they would require rescuing.
"Next time I want to have a more leisurely soak…," Ainz murmured as he
waded through the water to the changing room, and the guardians all nodded.