When Ras turned twenty, he and Mebsuta got married. While he was happy to have married the woman he loved, he still worried about being the convenient choice. His search for Nova became even more fervent as he wanted to make her the happiest. Because of this obsession, he neglected his family. He was present during his twin daughters' birth, but raising them was all on their nanny. He was always away from home, making connections with members of his extended Alhague family and those associated with them all over the world all in order to find the one person Mebsuta idolized and loved more than him.
Souhait hated it. He hated how blindly devoted he was to his wife and how he was succumbing to what his father had warned him about in his childhood. People were the most dangerous things in this world. They create, love and destroy. Ras was no exception to this. Instead of living in a basement during his childhood, he found himself trapped in this obsession he has for his wife whom he only became acquainted with a year after their first meeting. It felt superficial to him, yet he knew it was still real. He knew people latched onto feelings in hopes of being able to feel something for another–that was what he had seen with his own eyes within his home world and Terrenter.
Searching for Nova took years and it took a toll on his happiness and his health for he had been diagnosed with the same illness his father had, Lifechipper. It was a hereditary illness that chipped away a person's lifespan. According to what he learned from Ras's memories, it was hereditary on his father's side of the family and it's considered a curse for Ilacians as their long lives happened to be their most unique trait. Despite having this illness, Ras pressed on. He was willing to sacrifice his lifespan just to find Nova.
Souhait realized the next memory had materialized. He took a scan around the vicinity. Ras and he were in a forest, and a familiar one at that. He looked up at the sky. It was the afternoon, so it was bright, but the forest ahead was dark, as if it belonged to another dimension. He grabbed Ras by the wrist and dragged him into the forest. He summoned his violet fireball in order to illuminate the path ahead.
This is the Forest of Passing Souls… He remembered seeing this forest in Arcturus's memories when he and his sister Ariel traversed to see their mother when they were young children. However, what the kids didn't know was that there was a hidden secret that existed long before they were born–one that no longer existed in the present.
His steps came to a halt when he took a few back. There was a sudden pain on the back of his head as he turned to see that Ras had stepped on his lavender tresses. The annoyance within him kept boiling. While he loved his long hair, now wasn't the time to complain about its condition as he let go of Ras's wrist.
"Pick up my hair." He pointed to his trailing hair.
Ras raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"
"I said for you to pick up my hair. I do not want you to step on it again, so carry it!"
The glare he gave to his client caused him to abide his command as Ras hastily bunched up his hair and carried it as if he was carrying blankets. Souhait continued to lead the way. It took a while, but he soon noticed a dim speck of light in his line of sight, so he ran towards it, with Ras tailing him from behind. The dim light belonged to a lantern of Ras from twenty years ago. He was thirty-seven at the time.
Seventeen years after marriage, Ras finally had a lead on Nova. His associates from Plasma had recalled one of their citizens talking about a fortune teller that she met near the forest who had blessed her unborn child with good fortune. She had remarked that the woman had long golden hair and eyes like twilight, which were vital clues for him. Because of that lead, he risked his health, which was deteriorating faster than he had expected, and came to Plasma to follow that lead. Traversing through the forest by himself was an excruciating task, but one that he wanted to bear upon himself as this was his choice.
The forest itself was a long one. If one looked at a map of Plasma, three-fourths of the continent was shrouded by forest while a fourth was inhabited by humans. Souhait had a feeling that the forest would be decreasing in size due to human greed. He just hoped his assumptions were false when he learned of this later on.
The past Ras decided to take a respite under a nearby tree. He took a deep breath. He looked up at the sky that was blocked by the trees. It's scary knowing that this forest is so dense that the sky isn't even visible. It's like a realm of darkness in its own right.
Souhait heard a gasp as he heard a soft thud. He could feel his hair falling onto the ground, so he turned to see Ras looking at him with a shocked expression. He looked down at his hair and realized what was going on.
"You heard your past thoughts?" Souhait inquired.
"Yes."
"Touching any part of my body, including my hair, does that."
"I see…"
Ras gathered his hair again. However, they were not moving. The Ras in the memory kept resting and refused to stand up and resume. Souhait knew that it was due to his illness, but he did look as if he was going to give up. He heard constant deep breaths from him.
Shit, this is bad… I'm too exhausted to proceed. Am I going to die here? After everything I've given up to get to where I am? I am so close to my goal.
"Excuse me, are you okay?" Someone asked in the darkness. The voice was muffled due to Ras focusing on panting to circulate his air; he couldn't tell if the voice was male or female due to it. Souhait was surprised to hear the voice, but remained composed.
There is a rumor that you can meet passing souls in the forest. I guess one is going to send me to the Spirit Realm with it…
"Are you okay?" The voice asked once again.
The person got closer. Ras's dim lantern illuminated a hooded figure that was holding a basket. They put the basket down and reached their hands out to touch Ras's forehead.
"You're burning up." They then checked his pulse.
In a flash, Ras felt as if he was being lifted up. Is this what dying feels like? A light, airy feeling? I don't like it…
Ras curled his fist, not noticing that the hooded figure was carrying him on their back. "I can't give up…" He muttered. "I came so far…just a little closer…"
The person took many turns in the forest and then found themselves in an area that looked like it was far away from society. It looked like it was in a grotto in a forest but it also looked like it was outside of the woods. The afternoon sky gave the grotto minimal light. It was a mysterious location that wasn't on the maps; Souhait of all people knew why. There resided a small brick cottage surrounded by a garden of aster flowers. This was a location that he knew very well. The sight of it was able to calm him, but he knew it'd only be temporarily.
The figure entered the cottage, uncovered the blanket, and threw Ras onto the bed. They took off their shoes and gently placed them in front of the door. After dusting their hands, they unveiled their hood in order to take it off.
Souhait wondered how long it had been since he last saw Nova with long hair that reached down his waist. He had a preference for long hair and always tried to encourage Nova to maintain that length. When taking off his cloak, he had worn a fuchsia-colored dress with ivory colored slacks underneath. Although he was wearing a dress in order to disguise himself as a female fortune teller, Nova was quite fond of wearing feminine clothes himself. He also wore black flat soled shoes because of Souhait's insistent nagging to wear them.
He placed his basket on the kitchen counter and then grabbed a towel to wet it and placed it on Ras's forehead. He took a few steps back and started pondering. While his own thoughts did not appear in the memory as this was Ras's, he knew what Nova had said at the time and what he responded with. Nova wanted to make porridge for the ill Ras but Souhait was against it.
Nova was quite stubborn when it came to cooking, so he ignored Souhait and started making porridge. He didn't want to remember Nova's cooking as he decided to think about something that had been pricking his thoughts. There was one vital detail from this memory: the rumor of a female fortune teller was due to someone in Plasma talking about the disguised Nova.
A sense of uncertainty came to Souhait as he knew who this woman was as he closed his eyes. An image of Arcturus came to his mind.
I wonder how Arcturus would feel knowing that it was his mother that was the catalyst of our pain and sorrow for the next twenty years?