The cool breeze hit Souhait's face as he grabbed onto the metal railing and knelt down. He felt as if he made a grave mistake. All he wanted to do was to entertain the people in front of him; he wanted to bring a smile to their faces and hoped they would be fine with letting him grant their wishes once Nova awakened. He didn't realize that one would have a panic attack at his actions. Guilt came to him when he assumed it was due to his own selfish intentions that caused this fiasco.
This is not what I wanted at all… All I wanted was to bring joy… Wishes are supposed to bring happiness, yet why am I failing to do that? I am the creator of this world, damn it…
The very fact that he was the creator of Terrenter upsetted him even more. If he couldn't bring joy to the people the world had produced, did he even have the qualifications to grant their wishes?
He felt a hand on his shoulder–he knew it belonged to Arcturus; who else could chase after him? He turned to see his companion, who looked rather worried for him. Did he deserve to be worried by such a kind man?
"Are you okay?" Arcturus asked.
Souhait quickly swatted his hand off. While he wanted to be consoled, he felt it wasn't deserved. "I am not okay. Not at all. All I wanted was to entertain them a bit. Maybe if I made them happy, they would want their wishes granted. Yet, I screwed everything up."
"You didn't do it intentionally. It was all an accident. How would've you known she would react poorly to seeing a Trifecta? They're rare to begin with."
He wanted to trust Arcturus's words, but the self-doubt within him accumulated at every second. Arcturus was right; he wasn't at fault for Sophia's panic attack. Being the cause of her reaction made him feel guilty, however. All he could do was clutch his head; he didn't want to give into his negative thoughts. He felt Arcturus's strong grip on his arm as he was forced to turn around to look at him. Arcturus looked mad.
"Didn't you hear what I said to Nova in his Realm of Desires? That should've gotten through to you too, or are you purposely ignoring it because you don't trust me?"
His expression left him speechless. He didn't know what to say. Arcturus placed both hands on Souhait's shoulders; Souhait felt his strong grip on them. It scared him; he never saw Arcturus this furious.
"You're the creator of this world, the one who granted me my wish, the one who wanted me to stay by Nova and your side, and the object of my admiration–my idol. Someone as amazing and wonderful as you should not be breaking down over this." His expression slowly changed from anger to hurt. "You're much better than this."
While there was a tinge of guilt from seeing that hurt expression, Arcturus was right. Souhait was a lot better than this. Why was he breaking down now of all times? He might have caused Sophia a panic attack, but that wasn't his intent. All he needed was to apologize and not do it again. He looked Arcturus straight in the eye. "Thanks…and I am sorry for showing this weak part of myself."
"It's okay to show your weaker side. I like seeing that side of both you and Nova. Just know that I'll always be here to comfort and support you two."
Seeing Arcturus give a gentle smile after speaking caused Souhait to become flustered. He understood why Nova liked him so much now; he was understanding and honest. Both Souhait and Nova were honest towards each other but never towards another person; they had encountered so much pain and sorrow from people in the past that their distrust for others was normal. For once in their life, they feel as if they could trust someone wholeheartedly. The turbulent emotions within himself were the feelings Nova felt throughout the moment he was inside Arcturus's Realm of Desires; if Nova felt something, he also felt it.
Wait, I have to ask him how he feels about Nova!
When he became composed, he cleared his throat. Before he could ask, Arcturus quickly turned around. He turned back and hastily grabbed Souhait's hair that was outside, threw it back into the apartment and then shoved him inside. When he slammed the door, Souhait was baffled.
Did he just push me? Annoyance and anger came to him. He didn't expect Arcturus to be so rude, so when he stood up, all of the emotions he felt went away when he heard another voice through the door.
Constance did call the doctor. Wait, I should change my appearance so that there will be less confusion. He grabbed his hair, wrapped it around himself and changed himself into Nova. He then grabbed his hair from below the shoulder and stroked it so that it became invisible; only shoulder length hair–Nova's usual hair length–was visible. He then brushed his bangs to the side so that his right gold eye was concealed. He was the perfect imitation of Nova now.
The front door opened to reveal a doctor who looked rather surprised to see him, but she was more concerned with Sophia who was panicking. She rushed towards her side. Another doctor, a much younger woman, showed up at the door. She had the same hair and eye color as the older woman doctor and looked like a younger version of her. She looked at him curiously before rushing towards Sophia.
"That's Dr. Belinda Mathis," Arcturus remarked as he entered the apartment and closed the door. "She was the one who treated us. The woman next to her is her daughter who happens to be a psychiatrist–the only one in the Outskirts at that."
"I see…" He could tell how professional they were as they were calming Sophia as meticulously as possible.
"You're sticking with Nova's appearance?" Arcturus whispered, not wanting to let the doctors overhear them.
"It makes the most sense and less gossip."
"True."
He realized he couldn't ask Arcturus what he wanted to ask now. He was worried about Sophia's state; they continue to observe the doctors as they try to help her calm down. Souhait couldn't help but to wonder what could be the trigger for her panic attack.