Lorelai.
Life is hard. Living is hard. People are difficult to understand. Words, hard to find. Feelings are difficult to express. Karma is an even bigger bitch than high school queen bees. Family is everything but still it drives you crazy. Your Own family might even hate you. But then to you cling to the thought that at least one person loves you even though you know deep down that no one really does.
Love.
Apparently Scientists say it's just a chemical reaction. Psychologists may tell you it only takes four minutes for a human to fall in love but life may say something different. people say that love is the greatest feeling of all, the only thing that can tame a monster. Even the Bible says that love is the greatest power of all, the only thing that abides when all else fails. A lot of people abuse that power. They make people fall in love with them, make them feel like life isn't life without them and then they shatter their hearts like it was nothing, with no remorse whatsoever.
I've never really felt what it was like to be in love before. I thought I did but I was just a naïve little girl then. It wasn't until my eyes were forced open by the cruel reality of life that I had realised it wasn't love. It was blatant stupidity.
There are only Two things I truly love in life. My brother and dancing. I don't even like my job that much. And I'm reminded of that everytime I walk through the doors of Blackwood Aeronautics.
"Morning miss Snow." Greta, the top floors receptionist says. I give her a tight smile with a nod of my head in response and walk past her and straight to my office. I get lingering looks from the workers but I don't bother to turn. Keep your head straight. I tell myself. Chin up, shoulders squared walk with confidence." no one else says a word to me as I walk to my office. Everyone around here walks on eggshells around me and I love it that way. It means I'm less likely to get disrespected
"Miss Snow, Mr Blackwood needs you in his office he says it's urgent." Alyssa, Mr Blackwoods receptionist tells me when I walk by her.
"Tell him I'll be there in a minute" I say before swinging my office door open. The Familiar honey lemon scent greets me as I walk in I sniff the air, something I always do when I walk into the office. Placing my bag on the desk, I walk around to my drawer to pull out a copy of Mr Blackwood's schedule.
I move to head out of the office when a very flushed, beet red Carla stops me. "Miss Snow, Mr Blackwood wants you in his office immediately."
"I know Carla, I'm on my way there." I eye her over once more and furrow my eyebrows up in confusion. "why do you look like Channing Tatum just asked you to marry him? " I ask her and then as if she isn't red enough automatically turns two shades redder than she already is.
"It's just that I... " she begins but gets cut off by Alyssa.
"Miss Snow, Mr Blackwood is waiting for you." She has a very worried look on her face so I hurry in my suede loafers to the office. Mr Blackwood is sitting behind his desk talking to a guy sat opposite him. As I walk closer I see his hair is perfectly styled and he wears a gold watch on his wrist. He has rings on two of his right fingers and Tiny pin earring rests in his ear.
Mr Blackwood stops talking, acknowledging me. "Ah Lorelai, you're here I was beginning to think you wouldn't turn up today," he smiles at me slightly turning his head towards the man sitting next to me.
"Its Tuesday, Mr Blackwood, I'm supposed to be in today." but not for the whole day though. But I don't say that to him.
"Well this is my son," he says ignoring my comment. "Kahlan Blackwood, he is an aeronautics engineer and he graduated from MIT " this time I take a really good look at Kahlan. His perfectly styled hair frames his face very well I must say, and he had this preppy spoilt rich boy-ish look about him and His blue eyes are literally sparkling. Does he wear contacts or something?
"Hello love" he says to me, his accent is British? Now this is where I'm confused and it obviously shows cause my eyebrows shoot up in confusion. Mr Blackwood is supposed to be American, so his son should be, too by default. Right? "Kahlans the name. " he tells me. Okay, okay hold on right there...
Who in the world introduces themselves like that? 'Kahlans the name' ? Did he not go to school or something? He must not have learned anything at MIT then. He stretches out his hand to me asking for a hand shake, I give my hand to him making him smile smugly.
"Mr Blackwood I don't understand, how... " I ask but I don't even get to finish my question as I am interrupted by the cockroach seated right next to me.
"It's the accent isn't it? Don't worry love you wouldn't be the first girl to swoon over it. " this idiot, what could his accent have to do with why I couldn't understand what his father was saying or why he called me here in the first place?
"Kahlan." his father scolds him like a child, maybe that's what he is. "He is going to be taking over from me in the next two months which is when I'm due to retire." he pauses and I take that as my cue to speak but he interrupts me.
Seriously though what is it with people and interrupting me today.
"We have a meeting with the board of directors later where he will officially be voted into power, temporarily that is. Then over the course of the next two months he will be expected to prove that he knows the basic things he will need to know to run Blackwood Aeronautics."
"But Mr Blackwood, I don't understand why I'm here, you should be discussing that with your son" I say folding my arms across my chest.
"Hey, I don't understand why this is happening either, so I guess I'm not the only clueless one. " Kahlan speaks making me snap my head in his direction.
"I need you to watch him." Watch him, is he a dog or something?
"Watch him? " I ask Mr Blackwood, I'm sure he knows that an elaboration is needed.
"Yeah, at least until he is permanently made CEO," he folds his arms across his chest. Kahlan rolls his eyes at his father tapping his fingernails on the desk annoyed Mr Blackwood sends him a look which Kahlan returns, they look exactly alike, The same jet black hair, the same face, the same nose except their eyes are different colours.
"Why do I have to watch him?" I ask leaning farther back.
Mr Blackwood sighs sitting back down. "You see, Kahlan is a very intelligent man but he tends to make a lot of irresponsible decisions and they usually get him in a lot more trouble than he can comfortably get out of." Mr Blackwood clearly cares about his son, he isn't just some power driven asshole, but of course I would know that considering the time I've spent with him, I mean he did save me from Connor all those years ago after all. All he's ever done is work hard for the things he's gotten, never cheating anyone out of anything, always helping people where he could always giving to charities, his work is Marvelous.
"Yeah talk about me like I'm not even here. " Kahlan scoffs looking away from his father . The guy obviously has some issues.
"I'm asking for your help Lori, please" well when he put it that way...
"Fine" I say nodding slowly "I'll do it."
"Really? So the old man had to beg and grovel on his knees to get you to do what he wants, you sure have him wrapped around your finger Huh?" Kahlan comments.
I glare at him and he just smiles back. "Mr Blackwood Jr I don't think..." I start to say but he interrupts me, very rudely might I add.
"Junior, I'm gonna be your boss and you didn't think of any other thing to call me but Mr Blackwood Jr, I've got news for you Ms Snow, there are a lot of people who know me and know very well and can attest to the fact that I'm not anyones Jr. "
Mr Blackwood looks at me with a mischevious grin on his face. He then looks at his son nodding towards his crotch area. "I don't know Kahlan you sure do look like a Jr to me. " I stifle my laughter at Mr Blackwood's comment.
Kahlan looks hurt and releases his lower lip pouting. "you don't really think Im the kind of person who would let you get in their pants on the first night right?" he only stares at me giving me the impression that he did think that. I scoff. "So not all British Men are gentlemen afterall, Mr Blackwood are you sure you aren't just wasting your time maybe you should just give the company to someone else. I'm sure Gavin would like the position or you could give it to... " I don't get to finish my statement cause Kahlan interrupts me saying the most ludicrous thing I've ever heard.
"You?" He lets out a bleak laugh "Someone like you?" he speaks making me turn around to him. I scoff and narrow my eyes "You better watch out dad," he smirks before turning to his dad to look him. "This one is only with you for your money. "
"Kahlan I don't think you..." Mr Blackwood starts to say but I put my hand up to stop him.
"Do you know who I am?" I ask standing up to my full height. I narrow my eyes at him and then fold my arms across my chest to show him that I mean business.
"It's not like they usually start a news channel for every gold digger that comes into town and sleeps with every single CEO around Canada now is it? " he smirks at me hopefully thinking that's has said something to spike my anger. "So I don't know who you are so please enlighten me." That idiot! How dare he call me a gold digger, he doesn't even know me.
"Well Mr Blackwood, I really think you should do your homework and proper research before you start making comments about me. Make sure you actually know who Lorelai Meredith Snow is first before you think to say those things about me." I fume I'm sure if I were a cartoon character I'd have smoke coming out of my ears. Kahlan just sits there smiling and being amused by my anger.
"Lorelai, I think you need to calm down first, you have to go to the studio later don't you? I don't want you to leave the office today angry and on edge okay?" he looks at me expectantly waiting for my answer. But he does have a good point, I have to make a new dance video later today anyway.
I nod at him and get up from my seat with my bottom lip in my mouth. "I have a few things to do before I leave later, do you need anything?" Mr Blackwood shakes his head and I begin to walk away but Kahlan once again has something to say.
"You do know I won't let you do whatever you want and leave whenever you please when I finally become your boss right?" Please, like he can control what I do, only in his wildest dreams.
"Well it's a good thing that I don't need this job then. " the smile I give him is a menacing one when I see his eyes flicker in challenge, I turn around and walk to the door but stop again to look at him, "And by the way, I would rather have a noose around my neck for the rest of my life, than let an asshole like you dictate my life."
"I thought girls like you were supposed to be quiet and well mannered but I guess I was wrong. " he says and smiles thinking he has gotten to me.
"And I thought your threats and insults were supposed to faze me but I guess I was wrong." I say in mock remorse .
The smile on his face falters turning lopsided, Mr Blackwood Sr bursts into laughter, all I do is give him a satisfied smirk and walk out of the office like nothing happened.
***
Five hours Later I'm sitting in my office typing away on my keyboard the New schedule for Kahlan based off the information Mr Blackwood gave me when someone pushes my office door open barging into my office like some sort of animal. I look up from my computer screen to see none other than Kahlan Blackwood walk in and sit on the chair opposite me. He smiles at me before lifting his feet and perching them up on my table before crossing one leg over the other and resting his head on the back of the chair. I burn holes into his feet with my eyes.
"Wow Salamander, you really have an attitude on you Huh. " okay really who is this guy kidding? Salamander, really?
"I'm sorry are you just trying to further anger me or are you just terrible at remembering names?" I save my work and shut down my laptop when he doesn't answer I give him a tight smile. "can I help you Mr Blackwood? I have work to do."
"My father thinks I should watch you and see how you do what you do so I can learn to be responsible and what not."
"I'm pretty sure you think I'm stupid enough to believe your dad sent you in here to just annoy me." I tell him as I lean back in my seat.
"I was hoping you were, but we don't always get what we want, now do we?" He is trying to get a reaction out of me but he won't, so instead of giving him an answer I decide to change the topic.
"You do realise that being the CEO means there is no room to act irresponsibly right? You have to be ready to lead with pride and respect for the people around you who deserve it, you have to be ready to work long hours, attend parties you don't want to, make nice with people who infuriate you, sit through long meetings about things that don't even concern you half the time. Are you ready for that Mr Blackwood? " I ask and he visibly swallows which earns him a smile from me. I roll my eyes at him. "I've already started to prepare your schedule and since you will be taking over your father's duties I'll deliver it to you by the end of the week, in the mean time I have somewhere to be. " I start to gather my things to head out.
"Why does he let you leave so early? He let's you do whatever you want. I've noticed, since the past week since I've been here. " he asks me folding his arms across his chest. "You're his assistant, which means he needs you around all the time right? So why does he give you special treatment like you're some kind of Queen, or did you sleep with my father to get to this position? But you don't look like one to do that" he let's out a laugh. "who knows, maybe that's the ploy maybe you're meant to look innocent when you really are a slut in every way possible on the inside" his words are like poison killing me slowly from the inside.
Only Nine people have ever called me that, ten including him and it hurt because they all had said it for no good reasons. I hated being called a... I can't even say it.
I really am holding myself back but so help me he pushes me too far. My nails are digging into my palm like they always do when I'm mad. He laughs again this time making it sound more like a scoff. "I knew my father played around but I didn't know he liked them that young, maybe one-day when you're free, after I finally become CEO and you decide to move on from my old man,we can get together to see how good you are. Who knows maybe I'll consider keeping you arou-" I cut him off. That was a lie because Mr Blackwood never, I mean never played around.
I don't know how, but the sharp painful feeling of my hand hitting him across the face and scraping his skin clean off with my nails shut him up.
He let's out a pained hiss, his expression matches his feelings, his face is scrunched up in in pain? Disgust? I really don't care. He insulted me, how dare he. He insulted me. Me. He doesn't even know me. How could he say such things about me.
"How dare you?" I almost scream. My voice sounds foreign, high pitched, almost like a whistle. "How dare you imply that I'm a whore, how dare you say such things about me. You don't even know me." The tears in my eyes are threatening to fall but I won't let them, not now, not in front of him I am not weak and I won't give him the satisfaction of thinking I am. "And you should be ashamed of yourself for thinking and saying such things about your father, a man who gave you life. Are you even thinking right now, how can you think like that? Mr Blackwood is the kindest most disiplined man ever." He reaches his hand to his face to wipe the blood there. "How dare y-? You are disrespectcful
"Ms Snow!" Alyssa's voice stops my rant. "Is everything okay I heard shouting and I just wanted to check if you-"
"I'm fine!" I tell her. She looks between me and Kahlan.
"But Ms Snow you-"
"I said I'm fine" I snap at her at the same time she says: "You're bleeding!"
I look at my left hand and see that she is right. My nails are embedded in my palm and my blood is dripping onto the floor. And just when I think things can't get any worse Mr Blackwood comes running into the office asking what is happening and since neither Kahlan nor I will answer him he turns to Alyssa but then he notices I'm bleeding and asks me a question about that too.
I take my nails out only beginning to feel the pain because of the Adrenaline wearing off. I need to get away from here, I don't want him to look at me like he always does when I'm mad, with those sad eyes that make me break down and tell him every thing, those eyes that assure me that I'm not alone, those eyes that tell me that it's okay to be weak, those eyes that tell me to cry if I need to. Those eyes that ask me if I'm okay and I'm not, I never am. His son just called me a slut and it kills me to hear it again. Memories are coming back and I don't like that. The worst memories are always the bad ones.
I press my lips in a thin line and release it. "I need to get this cleaned I say looking at Mr Blackwood "I'll call you later" then I look at Kahlan and with a small smile and a cracking voice I say: "In the meantime, this slut has to go take care of herself so she doesn't bleed to death, as I turn to walk away. Mr Blackwood calls my name but I don't answer and I manage to hold my tears in until I reach my car. I get in and lock it, then it's as if a switch is clicked on, letting an the tears out, down to my chin and off my face.
Too many people, too many people have called me that name. Too many people have given me that title all because I didn't do what they want and didn't say what they wanted me to. My parents, people I thought were my friends, my ex boyfriends and people I can't even begin to mention. And now Kahlan has done the same thing I wish I could strangle him but I really can't. It will hurt Mr Blackwood and I wouldn't be able to bear to see him that way.
****************
I open my eyes and take in my surroundings. I'm in my car in the parking Garage of Blackwood aeronautics. I must have fallen asleep in my car. I take my hands to the steering wheel immediately and turn on the ignition. The time on the dashboard shows that it's already 12:30. Oh my goodness, I have to get to the studio. My palm hurts really bad and it's my fault.
I get to the studio and park my car in the garage. Pulling my duffel bag out of the backseat of the car I walk into the studio slowly but surely. Cynthia greets me as I walk in through the door my reply to her is a simple wave.
I go into my personal changing room and pull off my clothes, replacing them with my leggings, a body con crop top and my dance shoes.
I look at my reflection, to say I'm a mess will be the understatement of the century. With a sigh I pull my hair into a ponytail before I head out to Studio One where the professional dance troupe practices, the room is empty so I conclude that they are all downstairs.
All my life, there were only two things that could calm me down, pacify me even, when I was sad, angry, depressed, I used to hold those things dearest to my heart, but now that I've lost one of those things, I can't let the other go.
One of those things was My grandmother, Storm. Her voice in my head was something I yearned for, day and night. She was my saviour, my life, my hope, my peace, my calm, I used to think that if she died, a part of my soul would die too. It did.
The only thing I've ever wanted truly is to be loved, by someone who would adore me, some one who would take careof me and olprotect me without asking for anything in return, someone who would do good things to me and make me feel like I am worth it.
A lot of people say that they refuse to believe in love, probably because they have been heartbroken or maybe it's is because of the things that they have seen from others.
I've seen things heard things and have been through a lot but I still believe in love, true love.
What I don't believe though is that I've found my true love. But I know I will someday, God will send him to me soon. I hope.
After a long day at the studio I decide to go back home to rest before I have to get up again tomorrow.
I close the door behind me and lock it with the key. The house is eerily quiet, but then again there is no one else inside. Everyone is out at Trisha Banks' party. I don't go to parties anyway. I've always found them stupid, especially the ones where all people did was get drunk and dance on the midst of so many sweaty bodies. Gross. Today has been a long day, so all I want to do now is sleep but first, I haven't eaten all day I was too angry to think about food.
I walk into the extra large foyer and all my plans for tonight go down the drain when I see a figure slumped on the couch. I see his Auburn red hair, the same as mine, he is in a dark T-shirt and jeans he obviously has been sitting here since he got back considering the fact that his luggage was right next to him.
"Logan." I breathe and rush to hug my twin. He puts his arms around me and nuzzles into my neck. We stay like that for a while then I pull back tobtake a very good lookbat my twin. He looks disheveled. That can't be a good thing perfect Logan never has bad days. "What happened, Are you okay?" He doesn't answer me, just runs his fingers through his red curls and sighs. His face is splotchy and red, he has dark circles underneath his eyes and he looks broken.
"I've given her too many chances." he tells me and I immediately know who he is talking about. Rebecca. The thorn that pokes me in the arm continuously no matter how many times I pull it out. "But it's over this time. I'm not going to let her hurt me again." he says and this time he means it. A single tear escapes his eye and he wipes it off so I won't see but it's already too late. "It was bad this time Rory," He says shaking his head . "even worse than last time." he cradles his head in his hands.
"Tell me what happened." I tell him as I take off my shoes to sit cross legged in front of him. "I am here for you, okay?" I take his hands in mine and kiss them.
" Bray said he was sick and couldn't play." his voice comes out strained and I close my eyes already knowing where this is going. "we went out without him and we won." I know that already cause I watched the game. I watch every game. "The rest of the team wanted to celebrate but I didn't go with them. I was excited to share the victory with her. I should have thought it was suspicious when I didn't see her on the bleachers but I didn't think much about it I just went back to the hotel and I found both of them." draws in a harsh breath. "and they weren't just kissing this time Lori they were... " he can't say it and I understand why. His long term girlfriend and his best friend, that was painful to witness I can only imagine how bad he feels right now. How broken he must have been when he was supposed to celebrating his victory having won the final game in the tournament. I know I would be shattered. On Rebecca's side I guess it's not a surprise, she has cheated on him twice over, now the third time and she justvhad to go do it with his only best friend. The man he considered his brother, what a brutally horrible way to tell him he wasn't important to them, how they didn't care about how badly it would hurt if he found out about it. " And when we fought about it he said he had always loved her but he didn't tell her because she already dating me at the time." he pauses shaking his head. "Then he had the audacity to tell me that there were no hard feelings he patted me on the back and left the room like I didn't just walk in on my best friend and my girlfriend going at each other like bunnies. I swear I could have killed him if I wasn't do shocked." he lets out a humorless laugh and I join him and run my fingers through his hair hugging him to me.
"I missed you rockstar." I tell him and he sighs. "Now come on. Enough wallowing in self pity, I made some chocolate cake last night and I would hate for it to go waste." I get up from the floor and pull him to the humongous kitchen which takes up almost half of the downstairs part of our house. I mean what can I say? I love my oven and my kitchen space. Just like my Storm.
I cut up a slice of chocolate cake for each of us while Logan takes out the glasses to pour the milk in. "You let your hair grow longer." he notices. Of course he did. We both have hair that grows extremely fast, long and thick, being natural redheads and all. He also grew his hair out and it looks darker, more auburn-ish.
"Your hair is darker now. " I say in reply. "You've always wanted auburn hair. " he smiles at my comment and I nudge him in the side.
"What happened today? You seemed annoyed when you came in." I recount the whole ordeal at the office and he laughs untilli I reach the part about Mr Blackwood Jr calling me a slut. He comforts me and tells me howbready genius to kill Kahlan if he ever set eyes on him.
A lot of things happened today but I'm just glad that my favourite person is back at home with me sitting by my side eating chocolate cake and drinking some milk with me.
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.Thank you for reading the first Chapter.
I know you're confused about how she has her brother with her but I promise I'll explain in the story later on but untill then.
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Izzy💗