The funeral was simple, only family attended. Carmen had kept some of her friends away when she learned that she was sick. Nothing was going to change and nothing did.
Cindy cried so hard that she was inconsolable. Her mother held her close and tried to encourage her, yet she was also a crying mess.
Alexander stood a bit further. His black tie was swept by the wind, and his expression was unreadable. He glanced at the picture near the coffin.
His face was grim, and a little sorrow danced in his eyes. Carmen was married to him for three years after all. He could not pretend that he felt nothing.
Roman Sterling, his father, came over and patted his shoulder, "Sorry for your loss, son."
There were often no words to be said between the two of them because, with only a look, they would understand each other. Alexander heaved a deep sigh and muttered a small, "Thanks."
Everybody had left except for him and Cindy, who had refused to leave the grave. She sat there as if she was waiting for Carmen to walk out and give her the same toothy smile and talk about how this was a big joke but it was not, that much Cindy understood.
Carmen was gone, and there was nothing that could bring her back.
Darkness was creeping, and Cindy's legs were already numb from crossing them too long. She tried to get up but she only fell down.
Alexander walked towards her in a few strides and held her hand, "Let me help you."
Cindy looked up at him in surprise, "You haven't left?"
Alexander nodded silently. He could not leave her here all on her own.
Cindy had thought that he had left with the others as well. She created a bubble around her, and she didn't even notice that he had been standing behind her this whole time.
She suddenly remembered with clarity what Carmen made her promise, 'You have to marry him, promise me you will…'
Those words still rang in her mind. She looked over at Alexander once again, "You also promised?"
Alexander knew what she was asking. He looked at her silently, no word coming from his mouth.
Cindy was becoming frustrated, "We don't really have to do it, alright. I know she was just saying that because she did not want me to worry, but there really is no need for us to…"
She did not finish that sentence.
She could not tell him that it was her childhood dream to be married to him. She fantasized about it day and night, and when he announced that it was her sister he chose, Cindy had always felt that a hole was created between them that could not be filled.
He belonged to Carmen and Carmen alone.
Alexander's eyes went still for a moment before they cleared. He wanted to say something, but he closed his mouth instead. Deep inside, he wondered; he had always wondered.
His fate had somewhat been a clear path that he could navigate even with his eyes closed, but she was the only thing that went a little further from his plans.
He still remembered clearly how she called him when they were still young, "Brother Alex is so handsome! Even these flowers cannot match Brother Alex's beauty!"
He was kind of obsessed with hearing those words from her mouth that he would come over even when he was not accompanying his father.
Those times had passed, and this was the reality.
He went over and picked her up in his arms. She had only been here for a week yet she had lost so much weight already.
Cindy felt herself being lifted up and her head coming into contact with Alexander's chest.
She protested, "You don't have to do this."
Alexander looked at her, "You cannot walk; I will take you home."
His voice was deep and slightly raspy. Cindy did not fight him and let him carry her all the way.
His hands were very steady, and Cindy felt very secure around them. From where she was, she could smell his subtle cologne. They had never gotten this close, and Cindy did not know what to do.
Her heart was beating rapidly, so she tried to think of different things instead of him.
The ride back home was silent. Cindy slept the entire way.
She was actually very scared to go back because there would be no one waiting for her like before, and just the thought of it made her very sad that she started crying once again.
Grief could not be explained. It came in waves, and it had the ability to change the mood very swiftly. Cindy's heart was really hurting, and she could not really explain what it was.
Her sister was gone, and she had left her husband for her; it was really unexplainable.
Alexander heard the whimpers and said nothing. After the whimpers had died down, he said softly, "We are home."