A few simple months was all that it took to get me trained for scouting and I was finally going to get my chance to scout the border alone. David had set things up with the Alpha and I never had to see him once. Not having to see any members of the Alpha family helped alleviate some of my anxieties about starting my duties as an Omega. The Alpha had informed my parents of the trial and that I had been stripped of my status.
My parents had brought me my clothes in the first few days, so I at least had clothes that fit me better now. They didn't return after that first visit and I kept telling myself it was because they were too heartbroken to see me the way I was, but I didn't think that was the true reason. They hadn't even written or called to ask about how I was doing either and I knew, deep down, that the true reason was that I was an Omega now and in my pack Omegas weren't much of anything. I had David and Agatha to help me adjust and so far I have actually been pretty happy. Omegas didn't get treated too badly, but they weren't treated the best either. Omegas did everything for the rest of the pack.
Amber hadn't bothered to visit me once and when my parents had brought my clothes they let me know they had told her what had happened. My parents and Amber were all I had ever had in my life. I didn't get close to anyone else. Amber and I have always been close since we were little kids but she refused to come see me or try to contact me at all. It was like my best friend and my own family would rather pretend I had died instead of becoming an Omega. They didn't care enough to check on me and I wasn't allowed to show up at their houses to check on them.
I walked the border of the pack lands lost in thought. All I could do in my wolf form while out alone was think. I would sniff the air every few feet but the smell never changed. It was a good thing that the scents remained the same, it meant that rogues weren't getting close to the border and that we were safe. I was happy to be running around the edge of the territory, it gave me the chance to feel free. Once I was done with my patrols, I would always go to this little lake just barely inside the border. It was the same lake that I had noticed in the painting that Stacy had on the walls of her room.
The lake was very well hidden by the trees that bordered it and it was even more beautiful in person. I had told Agatha and David about finding it and they had smiled and laughed. They had informed me that Stacy had always painted what she had thought was the most beautiful. She had definitely been right, the lake was one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen. I couldn't see all the way to the other edge of the lake because it was off of our pack territory, but what we had inside our borders was amazing. The lilly pads were just on the edge of the lake and the pier that stretched out over the water was exactly like it had been in the picture. I loved to relax there on the pier after a long day.
Today was no different. I walked onto the pier in the form of my wolf and laid down in the sunlight. I was relaxing and taking in the smell of the pine trees and flowers. I wanted to give my muscles a break for a little bit before I decided to jump in the water and shift back to my human form before reaching the surface. It felt great to float around in the water with the sun shining down on me as well. The water was cool while the sun was warm and they balanced each other perfectly. I never wanted to leave the lake but I would have to go back to Agatha and David's in time for supper every night.
I swam to the edge of the water as the sun was starting to set and transformed back into my wolf before I took off running in the direction of the house. It was a quick run but I had to stop at the edge of the woods to get back again and grab my clothes. Once I was dressed, I took off again in the direction of the house. I walked in the front door and the smell of fried chicken immediately filled my nose. I stood there for a little bit and let the warmth of the house caress me as Agatha was cooking at the stove.
"Amelia, go wash up and dinner will be done when you are." Agatha smiled at me as she turned around to see me.
"Yes ma'am." I responded and took off in the direction of the bedroom they let me stay in.
I grabbed some clean clothes and went straight to the bathroom to take a shower. The warm water helped wash the dirt off my skin and out of my hair from the day. It was still my routine to scrub my skin till it was raw to try and erase any trace of the twins' touch on my body. Tears were streaming down my cheeks and mixing with the water, but that was still normal for me too. I felt like I would never be able to feel normal again, but I was better at hiding it now. I finished up and got out of the shower to dry off and get dressed. The smell of chicken was starting to fill the whole house as I walked out of the bathroom and back towards the kitchen.
"How was your day?" Agatha asked as I reached into a cabinet for the plates.
"It was the same as always. I went swimming again today. I feel drawn to that lake." I told her before walking towards the table.
"It's a beautiful place from what you've told me. I can imagine it's a wonderful place to relax." her smile grew even brighter.
"Dinner smells amazing." David bellowed as he came through the door.
"Go wash up and you'll find out." Agatha playfully responded.
A small laugh escaped my lips and I went back to get the silverware and cups to set on the table. David was laughing too as he headed down the hall. Agatha opened the oven after he left and a sweet smell mixed perfectly with the smell of the chicken. I walked over as she shut the oven door but I could see everything else perfectly. The chicken was fried to a perfect golden color and looked crispy, there were even potatoes boiling on the stove. She even had brown gravy cooking on one of the other burners of the stove. I gathered the silverware and took it back to finish setting the table. The last thing I had to grab was the cups and, thankfully, dinner was done. David walked back in as Agatha and I finished setting everything up.
"Dinner looks as amazing as it smells." David let out a chuckle.
"Well, let's all sit and dig in." Agatha smiled as she took her seat at the table.
I sat in my usual place and David quickly followed. We started to eat and everything tasted as amazing as it looked. Agatha jumped up once during the meal to go pull a pan out of the oven and then sat back down to finish eating. We didn't even talk through dinner because we were too busy stuffing our mouths to worry about having a conversation. The chicken was as crispy as it had looked and the flavors all mixed perfectly. I dipped some of my chicken in the mashed potatoes and brown gravy and took a big bite. Things were finally starting to look up for me. We finished eating and Agatha grabbed the plates from the table before I could and went into the kitchen.
"You two stay put." she said, glancing back at us to make sure we obeyed.
"If that's what you want." David said as he leaned back and rubbed his stomach.
"Amelia, you won't know this yet. David's birthday is today and I have made a special surprise for him." Agatha's face lit up.
"Why did no one tell me? I would have done something for you!" I was surprised that they hadn't mentioned it even once.
"It's just a birthday." he rolled his eyes.
"You may think it's just a birthday but I have invited some family in for this weekend to celebrate." Agatha said.
"What family did you invite?" David cast a look in my direction.
"Just a few people. Quit worrying, it's not going to be a big event." Agatha rolled her eyes in the kitchen and then brought the pan back to the table.
"I have no choice but to trust you at this time." David sighed.
"Well, happy birthday David. I am tired, so if you don't mind, I think I'm going to go to bed early." I said as I looked into the pan Agatha had brought to the table. I didn't recognize what was in it.
"Good night. We will see you in the morning." they responded simultaneously.
I got up and walked towards the bedroom as I heard Agatha and David still talking at the table. As soon as I closed the door behind me, I focused on my breathing to slow down my heart rate. The panic attack had started as soon as Agatha had said she had invited some family in for the weekend. They had already told me they don't have any family in this pack any more. Their daughter was the last one and she left to go to her second-chance mates' pack. The thought of strangers had me shaking and it didn't seem like I would ever quit. I started to lose control of my body and tears streamed down my face. I walked to the window to make sure the curtains and blinds were both closed tight before going to the bed and hiding under the blankets.
It had been months but I still hid under the blankets. My body was shaking uncontrollably and my stomach twisted into knots. I felt like I was spinning out of control and my stomach was twisted in knots. I shakily grabbed the sheets on the bed and gripped them as tight as I could. It felt like all the breath was being sucked out of my lungs and I couldn't get it back. Tears were streaming down my cheeks continuously, so I shoved my face in the pillow. While I had the pillow to muffle all the sounds, I gasped for whatever air I could get in hopes that Agatha and David wouldn't hear. I let go of the sheets and grabbed my hair, trying to make the spinning stop. I still tried to practice all my breathing.
I held what breath I could gasp in when I heard Agatha and David walking down the hall towards their room. As soon as I heard their door close I let out the breath of air that I had kept trapped in my throat. It felt like I was drowning on dry land, I couldn't get enough air into my lungs and everything was still spinning. Standing up, I tried to get a grip on myself and force the spinning to stop. I held on to the bedside table and stood as straight as I could to breathe in as deep as I could. My heart was still pounding really fast as I was waiting for the panic attack to subside. The spinning started getting worse again so I sat down on the side of the bed and closed my eyes tightly.
I had sat there for a really long time telling myself to breathe in and breathe out. It felt like the spinning had finally slowed down so I slowly opened my eyes and looked around the room. My eyes stopped on the painting of the lake, it was like a reflex. The picture was captivating and I could almost feel the sun on my skin and the wind in my hair. Focusing on the picture helped me regulate my breathing and my heartbeat finally slowed down to its normal pace. I sat there and stared at it for a few minutes longer and finally realized the room was brighter. Looking at the window I realized I had a panic attack that had lasted the whole night and the sun was starting to rise.
I heard the door to Agatha and David's room open and close and then there were footsteps headed towards the front of the house. I heard as Agatha started opening the fridge to get ready to make breakfast. The sounds of the starting morning helped finish bringing the panic attack and I felt my face to see if my cheeks were still wet from the tears. Finding that my cheeks were dry, I took a deep breath and walked out of the room. I crept across the hall and into the bathroom to splash some water on my face. The water was cold and washed the remnants of the stress off my face. The mirror even proved that I looked normal, so I confidently walked out of the bathroom and went to the kitchen.
"Good morning." I chirped at Agatha.
"Good morning." she smiled back at me.
"How did you sleep?" I asked her as she started mixing the stuff for pancakes.
"I slept pretty good. I wanted to talk to you about something though." she looked at me.
"What's up?" I was cautious about asking.
"When our family comes in this weekend, you don't have to go anywhere or even leave your room. Our couch in the living room has a hideaway bed and they can sleep on that." she turned and started cooking the pancakes.
"Oh, thank you." I didn't know what else to say and I wasn't comfortable with this subject.
"Of course. Now get ready for breakfast, tonight we will have company for dinner." she smiled and winked at me.
"I've already washed up this morning." I glanced at the calendar just to confirm that it was Friday.
"Well then, sit down and David will be along shortly." Agatha pointed her spatula at the table.
I walked over to the table and sat down while lost in thought. I had less time to prepare than I thought. I hadn't realized the weekend was so close. I needed to go to the lake today and try to get some clarity before I lost it tonight in front of the company. I decided to go as soon as breakfast was over. David walked in and sat down while I was lost in thought. He was quiet too, so I assumed he was caught up in his own thoughts. Today was going to be a very long day and I was ready for it to be over.
As soon as breakfast was over, I took off running out the door and straight into the woods. I placed my clothes behind the normal tree and shifted before sprinting to the lake. I didn't have my patrols today so I could take the whole day to relax and get my head on straight before dealing with strangers. The trees were flying past me as I zigzaged through the woods with only one destination in mind, I had to get there. The lake had become my safe place, it was safe from outsiders and the anxiety. There was nothing that could hurt me when I was in this place.
The sun shone brightly on my fur as I burst through the trees. My pace slowed down to a walk and I approached the edge of the water. After transforming back into my human form I laid down on the pier and let the sun caress my skin as I stared out at the water. My mind focused on having to meet new people at dinner tonight. I had no idea what I would do if we bumped into eachother or if they touched me. Agatha and David had worked with me over the past few months and we had come to a small understanding. They knew they couldn't sneak up on me and that I didn't like to be touched but they didn't know how bad the panic attacks still were. The new people wouldn't know any of this.
I started to feel like hands were all over me so I rolled over and tried to think about anything else. No matter what thoughts crossed my mind it always came back to the fear and anxiety of what was going to happen this weekend. I finally gave up and jumped into the water. I had been hoping that the feeling of the cold water rushing against my skin would help ease the nausea and make the feeling of hands on my body dissipate. I swam as deep as I could before I had to swim back to the surface. The deeper I went into the water the calmer I felt. I ended up spending the whole day going back and forth between laying in the sun and swimming in the lake.
I swam to the edge of the lake and got out of the water when I realized the sun was starting to set. I knew I would have no choice but to return the house and try to keep myself together. It was only two days, I could do this. Shifting into my wolf I reluctantly went back into the woods. I walked back towards the house and tried to keep my focus on keeping my breathing so that I wouldn't experience a sudden panic attack. I could feel my test getting tight the closer I got but I had no choice but to continue going forward. My clothes were exactly where I had left them so I shifted and got dressed as quickly as I could and continued my slow pace back towards the house.
"There you are! We were starting to get worried about you." Agatha exlaimed as soon as I walked in the door.
"I'm sorry, I lost track of time." I had my eyes closed while trying to keep my breathing even.
"Go wash up, you made it just in time for dinner." she responded sympathetically.
"Yes ma'am." I said as I took off in the direction of the bathroom without opening my eyes.
I had to feel around for a minute for the door knob to the bathroom and finally got the door open. My focus stayed on my breathing and it had seemed to help keep my panic at bay. Opening my eyes, I switched on the light for the bathroom and looked in the mirror. My porcelain skin looked a little clammy so I splashed water on my face and then proceeded to wash my hands and my arms. It was a difficult task but I managed to keep my breathing steady and even and I finally felt ready to walk back out and sit down for supper.
Once I opened the door I took a big breath and walked for the dining room area. The table seemed to be bigger than it had been. Agatha and David must have put the extender leaf in to expand the table. It could now fit six people. I got the courage and looked up to look at the people in the room and saw only Agatha and David sitting at the table. Their smiles encouraged me to sit down so I picked the place across from Agatha and sat down. There was another place setting next to me and one more was placed at the other end of the table. I didn't know where the guests were but I was relieved they weren't yet in the room. Just as I breathed out a sigh of relief I heard the front door open but I couldn't force myself to look in the direction.
"Sorry about that, when duty calls it's hard to say no." a masculine voice said right before the door closed.
The voice sounded oddly familiar. Out of morbid curiousity I slowly turned my head and saw a man with shaggy blonde hair that just barely covered his forehead and deep blue eyes staring back at me. My breath caught in my throat and I felt my chest getting tight. I couldn't breathe or move, I couldn't even look away from him. Our eyes were locked so I didn't even catch the other guest stepping out from behind him, all I could see was him walking closer and closer. I was frozen in fear and the panic was bubbling in my chest. I was paralyzed from fear even as he pulled out the chair next to me and sat down. Agatha said something but I couldn't understand what she was saying. I heard the chair on the other side of me moving but I was still fighting to gain control of my body.
"We have known Amelia for a while now. We are really close." I barely caught the words and wasn't even sure what direction they had come from.
A hand touched my arm and I jolted. My eyes flicked to the hand on my arm and I followed the tanned arm up to the face. It was the same blonde hair and blue eyes that were on the other side of me. I was trapped between the twins, the same ones that had raped me and got me rejected by my mate. I was scared and frozen in fear, no words could escape my throat. I hadn't been able to fight them three months ago and I knew there was no way I could fight them off now. The twins were related to Agatha and David? This was just my luck and I was trapped all over again. It seemed like no matter what I did, I just couldn't get my body to move or any words to come out of my mouth. Even my heart seemed to stop beating all together. There was no escape.