Alistair Grey.
That was my name, or perhaps it's better to say it was my name.
I died. Once, at least that I know of, on the planet Earth.
Un-inspired, lack of motivation, even lost could have been used to describe my life. I had died after 28 years of struggling to amount to anything, only to die in my apartment. I never even got to feel regret, and anguish, before my death.
Instead I woke up in a moldy bed, staring at an unfamiliar dilapidated ceiling. Don't get me wrong, my previous life I was also living in squander, waking up staring at dilapidated ceilings. This ceiling was different. This bed was different.
I was different.
Looking at my reflection in a spoon, I could easily tell that I was not in my original body on Earth. Whoever's body this was though, I would make sure to take full advantage of it. I was cute.
Before I get attacked, I meant it in the way an adult would say a child is cute and cuddly, however I knew I would grow up to break more than a few hearts. With a soft, oval shaped face, and perky lips that were the perfect shade of pink. A well shaped nose, strong bridge with a small upturned button shaped tip. Dark brown, almost black colored hair. My black eyebrows made my pale white face stand out even more, and it made me look much more serious than the baby face would first have you thinking.
Pulling myself out of self reverie in the reflection of a spoon, I took a closer look at my surroundings.
This place was filthy. Water damage, possibly from the leaky roof, or from the broken windows who clearly wouldn't be able to stop even a single drop of rain water from coming in, much less stopping a draft. Trash bags littered the floors, along with expired food all round the small room.
I got up, and made my way to the door, I hoped that the rest of the apartment wasn't as dirty as my bedroom. As I opened the door, I was met with a surprise that stupefied me more than waking up reincarnated: there was no 'rest' of the apartment. The reality shaking realization that the previous owner of this body lived in a one bedroom apartment that was barely the size of a bathroom, was too much for me to handle.
I closed the door and sat back down on my bed. I needed to collect myself.
[Things I Knew]
1.) I have solid looks
2.) I lived in a terrible environment
I didn't really want to live like this. At least that was what I thought at first, after a moment of dwelling on the memories from Earth. A small bubbling feeling came from the center of my very being.
"Why should I live like this again? Isn't this a new start? Why don't I make the most of it?" I thought to myself. Asking myself these questions made me feel self-pity, however that bubbling feeling turned that self-pity into a a darker, more constructive feeling: self-hatred.
I hated myself. I hated who I was.
Pathetic.
That's how I felt looking at myself objectively. However I started to think of the positives: my looks, and my smarts. Although I was pathetic in my previous life, that stemmed from lack of drive not lack of ability. I made an oath to myself at that very moment:
"I will not end up a pathetic wastrel."
[DING!]
[Emotional Manipulation Level 1 : UNLOCKED]
Emotional manipulation? What was that? After thinking for a few moments, doing a few pinch tests to make sure I was lucid, I came to one conclusion: I was clinically insane. I was not better off in this world, I was worse, mentally unstable.
*sigh*
"Just great..." I muttered to myself. What was I going to do now? Well, I had already made the oath to myself so I might as well try to do something with my life. Perhaps I would find out I was also schizophrenic, at least then I won't have to be alone in this life, I would have my thoughts to keep me company.
Doing a quick search of the room for anything valuable proved to be fruitless. No identification, no clothes other than this stained brown, what I hoped was brown at least, colored shirt and pair of faded jeans. I was a nobody, with no clues of who I was.
OR
The more positive view: I was a clean slate. *growl* I looked down at my stomach, positive vibes would have to wait. I needed food. Abandoning my life of squalor, I made my way to down the alley outside my apartment to the street where I could see lights and people passing by.