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The Dragon Lord and His Cheeky Companion

🇺🇸HJ_Blossom
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Synopsis
BL: The Dragon Lord, master of The Manor: unrivaled, omniscient, and popular in the three realms. He's also capricious, ill-tempered, cynical, and does whatever he wants. Rumored to be in possession of a map that leads to an elixir that can cure any disease and poison, he often gets pestered by insignificant bugs, who attempt to visit his isolated quarters. Enter Yun Qing: vexatious, talkative, has the energy of ten horses, and a fragile mortal in the Lord’s eyes. Upon extending travels overseas to visit his master, Yun Qing ends up falling into the Dragon Lord’s hands. There goes the end of those 152 years of no human contact. "It was on a mere whim I chose to bring you out of death's clutches. You were an insignificant detail appearing before my eyes, and, on any other day, I would have allowed you to succumb to your weak disposition without sparing you a single glance." "Then, why didn't you?" An innocent smile, yet eyes brimming with unfounded mischief. "Was I too pretty to let die?”

Table of contents

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Chapter 1 - ONE

There was once a dragon lord whose name preceded him in the three realms. With a penchant for experimenting with light and dark arts and his vast run-ins with immortals, demons, and cultivation experts over the last few hundred years, it was not a surprise that he became an entity of great reverence.

Schools preached about his standing among the great beasts of the world, naming him an omnipotent figure in his own right, and stories of his famous battles in history, which were told to children and adults alike, reigned supreme in the eastern peninsula. It was rare to find an individual who had never heard of him as opposed to one who had never experienced the pleasures of food and wine.

Whereas this dragon lord was incredibly popular, few knew what he looked like. There were two reasons for this. First and foremost, the dragon lord resided in a manor near the Heavenly River atop a location called Highrise Peak, a destination sought out by many, but reached by few. That was because Highrise Peak was nestled between the Heavens and Earth, shrouded in thick fog and clouds. The dragon lord's manor was tucked between two mountain pillars and sat at the highest point of the precipice. Due to its location, only humans who followed the path to cultivation and possessed great skill could fathom climbing the mountains for an audience. A decent martial artist would journey two days and two nights on average to reach the entrance of Highrise Peak, encountering a string of bad omen on the way, which tested their survival skills. If one could not ascend the mountain and keep their measly life in the process, then there was no need for the dragon lord to waste his breath. Even after the perils, an audience with the dragon lord was slim to none.

The second reason was much simpler than the first and could only be described as a difference of opinions. That is, the dragon lord had a long-standing animosity toward mortals. These insignificant bugs ranked at the bottom of the food chain, and their unpleasant and foul ways stained the air he breathed. Naturally, his residence was built in a location inaccessible to them. Who would allow bugs into their home after all?

Due to such isolated and perilous quarters, the number of visitors The Manor received in a typical year were far and few, and because they rarely had guests over the last few decades, the servants had difficulty remembering how to greet them when one actually showed up.

"Who's this poor sap?" One soldier guarding the gate muttered, a bored gaze fixed on the newcomer.

The one stationed on the other side shrugged his shoulders and nudged the unmoving man with a black boot. "Sir, if you must die, please bless the land with nutrients down at the end of the mountain."

"That's right," another one piped up. "Master does not appreciate uninvited…." The man coughed and cleared his throat. "I mean the master doesn't appreciate guests."

A heavyset groan emitted from the individual, who then made an effort to crawl over the last few steps onto flat land. His limbs moved ever so slowly as if mimicking a sloth climbing out of a bathtub, and the fourth soldier guarding the gate snickered.

"W-Who…."

"Yes?" One of the gatekeepers responded.

"Who… ARGH! WHO'S BRIGHT IDEA WAS IT TO RELEASE GRAY WOLVES INTO HIGHRISE PEAK? AHHHH, MY HEAVENS! ONE OF THEM NEARLY BIT OFF MY LEG!"

The exploding anger wasn't anything new. In fact, as faithful servants to The Manor, they were impervious to outside forces. Whereas their working conditions were not bad and their lord was a powerful entity who could control anything that swept into his path, there was one measly thing he could not control: his temper. This visitor's temper was but that of a baby chick's in comparison: all bark and no bite.

The owner's face was hard to distinguish, shrouded by his unkempt hair, which had fallen out of its signature bun. As he struggled to remain upright on both feet, he began dusting off his torn gray robes, muttering nonsense underneath his tongue. Another burst of rage overextended his voice. "We don't even have gray wolves in this peninsula!" heaved the exasperated man.

The soldier who originally snickered did so again. "Please return to where you've come from. Our master does not receive guests."

"Nonsense! Do you know who I am?" He seethed, face redder than a ripe persimmon.

"Are you dust? I detect you turning into dust if you don't leave in three seconds," the soldier responded, boredom lacing his words, causing further tension to build on the man's face.

"You- You… How dare you-" The man sputtered, unable to find words to describe his current embarrassment.

Suddenly, another voice interceded. This time, gone was the flippant attitude that seemed to spearhead the soldiers' tone.

"It is not nice to be disrespectful to a guest," a man in black robes trimmed with jade edges said. He was stepping foot out of the courtyard to the right of the gate entrance, seemingly hearing the kerfuffle from his own residence a mile away. This man was by no means simply a soldier who guarded The Manor. The manner in which he walked effortlessly with such grace and his handsome appearance tied together by clothes that could feed a family of five for a year was evidence of his status at The Manor. He was the dragon lord's third disciple, one of four who was personally selected and trained by the lord. By default, he was also the third in charge in the absence of the lord. His name was Yu Long.

"Let's invite our guest into the grand hall and show him some hospitality," Yu Long commanded, gaze flickering to the man's tattered robes and dirt-smeared boots. Something akin to a smile curved onto his lips. To any bystander, it was pleasant and welcoming: a politician's smile, but the four guards shuddered and looked away. One even cleared his throat as if he was covering up a cough.

No one dared to respond and merely bowed their heads, sweeping a palm in front of them to outline a passage for the guest to the aforementioned hall.

Yu Long gave another half grin, mischievous yet pleasant. "Allow Zi Hong to escort you into the hall," he said, gesturing to the guard in black robe with a jade green sash. It was the same man who coughed earlier to hide his laughter.

Zi Hong was Yu Long's direct disciple, an earned title designated by the color sash he wore. He was also the owner of the last words spoken to the enraged outsider just before his master showed up. Casting a glance at Yu Long as if to confirm the outrageousness of the statement, Zi Hong confirmed that this was not another one of Yu Long's jokes and quickly escorted the man past the entrance and down the straight path leading to the grand hall.

As Yu Long stared at the backs of the two men leaving, he flicked his curved finger over his shoulder and urged another guard over. "Serve him the house specialty," he ordered, the lightness in his voice never dissipating. Amusement brimmed in his eyes, and he had to fan it away by flicking the strands of hair covering his side profile to the side.

Inside the grand hall, Zi Hong showed the man to his seat. The grand hall was also known as the business hall, a location where they received guests, held banquets, and even conducted meetings. It was the most used place in the entire manor and also the most embellished. Streams of vermillion and black silk as soft as a newborn's skin floated effortlessly around all four corners, swaying gently with the breeze that lingered from the main entrance. The ceiling was so incredibly high that it caused a dizzying effect if one were to look at it for too long. Eight low-rise tables lined the hall, four on each side, each more beautifully carved than its previous. Center stage laid a long shimmering carpet, handwoven by maidens from the northern peninsula, a gift received centuries ago yet polished and blemish-free as if acquired yesterday. The carpet led directly up a flight of stairs and upon a throne, which no doubt was reserved for the lord of the manor.

One who was accustomed to royalty would note that the color scheme of the room, dark and vibrant colors clashing with golden walls and ceilings, announced an air of regal wealth. Simple with few decorations, yet elegant and protruding an air, which demanded respect.

Something the guest clearly lacked.

When Zi Hong had led the man in, he was barraged with an addendum of the musings of a man who felt wronged. Of course, he never thought of it in such a way. After all, which uncultured swine would dare come knocking on someone else's front door and demand hospitality, then ridicule his host behind his back once it was extended? How ludicrous!

With an inaudible grunt, he waved at the man to sit. At this time, the second guard who had tailed behind them to carry out Yu Long's orders appeared. Along with him, he held a tray with three things: a cup, a small plate of teacakes, and a clay pot sealed with a red cloth.

Zi Hong took one look at it, and, instantly, the grumble of distaste was wiped cleanly off his face. His lips twitched, and he suddenly appeared in a better mood.

His master appeared then, his resounding footsteps padding up the steps outside. On a typical day, he wouldn't even have the luxury to hear them as anyone with capabilities like his master rarely announced their location with such ignorance. Since they could hear his footsteps, it meant their master wanted them to hear it.

"This gracious host! You are indeed kind for inviting me in! I am Yang Kan. May I be so rude as to beseech your name?"

Zi Hong grunted again. What a two-faced snake. One second, the man was hurling insults and the next he was smiling before them like a grateful guest.

His master did not mind such a thing. An odd smile stretched across his mouth, and he could see the scheme in his eyes. Zi Hong wanted to sigh, but he kept his mouth shut and stared straight ahead as he stood guard. What was his master going to do this time?

"I'm glad you asked. I am the eldest disciple of my master. The name assigned to me is Jin Long."

Zi Hong could not help but look toward his master in panic. 'Not again!'

"What a brilliant name! I hear the Dragon Lord has four disciples, one of whom is both dignified and elegant. Seeing you today, Master Jin Long, I'm sure they are referring to you."

"Isn't it?" The pleasant smile was still plastered firmly on Yu Long's face as if painted there. It was as if he was beseeching the man to tell him more nice things.

'Ai-ya! That's not even your name, Master!' Zi Hong thought.

"You have a keen eye, Yang Kan. Your judgment must be on par with your observations. Let me pour you a cup of wine. You must be thirsty from your trip. Please help yourself to these lotus teacakes. They are the delicacies of our Manor. The recipe was created by yours truly. I've been told they are the best in the eastern peninsula."

After hearing such a lavish description, the man felt his stomach rumble and he immediately took one of the small teacakes and popped it into his mouth. The teacakes were a translucent white, stamped into the shape of a flower; they looked dainty, almost too pretty to eat. So Yang Kan expected the medley of flavors to be pleasant and otherworldly, but as soon as he took the first bite, he cringed and choked.

"Does it suit your tastes?"

It was… dreadful. How did such a dainty-looking little dessert taste both spicy and salty, sweet and bitter? The texture inside was also mushy, but retained a dryness that made one think of the Gobi desert. What was this poison?

Yang Kan looked at Yu Long and noticed the other was watching him carefully, hopefully, as if waiting for his raving review. He faced a dilemma. If he were to spit up the food, which every fiber of his being commanded him to do like the instincts of a man of jianghu who dodged to avoid a sneak attack, not only would he offend his host, but he would fail the mission he came to accomplish. If he swallowed, then he'd face stomach perforation and immediate death.

With great forethought yet difficulty, he swallowed the mouthful and gingerly placed the other half of the teacake back down on the plate. As quietly as possible, he cleared his throat.

"Delicious, isn't it? I'm often told that I make the best desserts in the manor."

'Told by who?'

The man blanched, his face turning paler by the second, making him look sickly.

"It's unlike anything I've ever had," he croaked, reaching for the wine to wash it down. Yang Kan almost expected the wine to be just as bad as the teacake, but he was so thirsty that he decided to play the odds. Surprisingly, the wine wasn't all that terrible. In fact, it was cool and fresh against his parched throat that he downed the whole cup and poured himself seconds.

When he was done, he turned his gaze back to his host and straightened out in his seat. "Thank you for your hospitality. I should get down to the reason for my visit. I am the ambassador sent by the Xia Emperor. Rumor in jianghu is that Lord Master Hong is in possession of the Seven Lotus Map."

Chin in hand and with a tilt of his head, Yu Long responded. "Hm, really?" His tone of speech could have easily made any individual second guess the source of their information, but Yan Kan was persistent, unable to allow failure to be an option.

The man cleared his throat. "Yes. According to the information we've gathered, he received it as a gift from the previous Dragon Lord."

"Fascinating. If such a map exists, what is on it?"

"That… I am unsure. I was instructed to obtain it at any cost."

"You mean to tell me that you're the ambassador sent by the Xia Emperor to bargain for this map and you have absolutely no idea what's on it?" Yu Long's tone was light, but his eyes were unhinged. "How is it that you are to bargain for this map if you don't know the heftiness of its contents?"

Yang Kan broke into a cold sweat, his face betraying days of weariness, allowing the deceit to seep out of his pores in waves. However, he wasn't allowed to get a word in.

Yu Long said, "If I was the ambassador of a great nation, I would surely know my boundaries during negotiations, especially what can and can't be bargained for. I would be clearly briefed on the details of my mission. After all, it would be my role to represent the emperor, himself, not disgrace the imperial line with my half-witted decisions. Do you agree, Ambassador Yang?"

"Y-Yes, of course."

"So naturally, I would have a very clear understanding of the content of the goods I'm bargaining for. Of course, what I say is merely hypothetical if I was in your shoes, you understand? I am merely thinking aloud and working through my confusion. Please don't take what I say to heart."

"I wouldn't dare."

"As I was saying, I would know all there is to know about the item I want to obtain. With good reason. Shouldn't a valuable item be exchanged with an item of equal value? How would I exchange such a thing if I don't know the quality of the goods? Besides, if I'm the owner of such a precious thing, of course I would know its worth. If you wanted a map of the hunting grounds of Mount Er Mei and you exchanged a piece of ordinary jade for it, wouldn't it be undervaluing the territory itself, and therefore ridiculing the merchant by extension? Or if it was a battle strategy map for a war between two nations, could you imagine the owner giving it away for free? Preposterous, wouldn't you agree?"

"You are absolutely correct, Jin shaoxia! You are indeed a disciple of the Dragon Lord. To speak so rationally and eloquently, it is truly one in a million!"

On the side, Zi Hong sighed. 'He just called you a fool, old man, and a liar to boot, and you're praising him?'

No wonder his master had an ego the size of Kunlun Mountain.

Yu Long swiped his fan open and began fanning himself. The jade green tassel along the handle swayed with each motion. A second later, he smacked it shut along his inner palm with an alarming gasp. "Of course, there is another way to obtain what you came here for without knowing its content…. Such as, you didn't intend to negotiate and were going to rob us blind!"

Eyes as large as a doe's turned in the man's direction, off-puttingly childish with a disarming air. "You weren't planning to conduct some unsightly deeds, were you, Ambassador Yang? It's still broad daylight, and I can scream very loudly."

Zi Hong: "…."

The old man sputtered, palms raised in panic. "You think too much, Jin shaoxia! This humble man would never do such a repulsive act. To be honest, I was being cautious. I did not want to divulge details that would complicate the situation, but given that Jin shaoxia is so up-to-date with the importance of this map, this poor one will not hold back. The Seven Lotus Map is, what you could call, a treasure map. It's existence has been spoken of often in jianghu, but only rumors speak of what is depicted on it. I've been told it leads to an armory of the world's top-shelf elixirs that can cure any disease."

"Ah, I see. That sounds rather valuable. Were you going to con me out of a good deal had I not inquired about its content? I am the eldest disciple of this manor. Do I look like someone who would accept anything not worthy of me?"

Zi Hong's master was shameless, throwing the eldest Master Jin Long's name around left and right and calling to attention his title. He simply wanted to remove blame in the event trouble came knocking in the future. He felt bad for Master Jin and could only stand by and watch his master slander his name with his outlandish behavior.

With such bold accusations made to his face, the ambassador couldn't help, but laugh awkwardly. Usually, people kept thoughts like those to themselves. Be it to prevent coming across as rude or to keep the other party guessing, it was a strategic move undoubtedly. However, Master Jin Long not only placed him on the spot by commenting on all of his sly moves, but also managed to use his role as host to twist the tale in his favor. Yang Kan had never met anyone so shameless and straightforward before.

Truly, this must be the rumored intelligence of the eldest disciple of the DragonLord. It was an eye-opener.

"Does this mean Master Jin would agree to trade the map if the price is right?" Eyes lit in glee.

Yu Long paused, eyebrows suddenly furrowed quite dramatically. "What map?" he said, confusion lacing his words. He looked at Zi Hong, whose face was as blank as a new scroll. "Ah-Hong, did I say I possessed the map he was looking for?"

"No, Master. You did not."

Any remaining humor dropped from the ambassador's face, replaced by a scowl. "You… What… Then, what was the purpose of our entire conversation just now?" He seethed. "Were you making a fool out of me?"

"Please, Ambassador Yang, your negative energy will make you ill. I was doing you a favor by discussing the importance of an equal transaction. Every successful business owner must acquire these skills for they make them better negotiators in the field. Do you not agree?"

"Rubbish! Have you no idea who I represent?"

Yu Long extended a hand. "Be not angry, Ambassador. I fear you may pass out if your face turns any more vibrant."

"Ridiculous! I will no longer be tugged around by your long-winded reasoning! You have wasted enough of my time! I will not leave until the Lord presents himself."

A smile stretched across the third disciple's lips, nearly splitting his face in half. Although he kept his eyes forward, Zi Hong noted the ease in which his master received such aggression. Unlike others, who would be disturbed or unsettled by such outlashes and disrespectful behavior, his master seemed to thrive on it as if riling up others was his one true talent.

Perhaps, it was the fact that the man had been wiping droplets of sweat from the sides of his face for the last few minutes, or the way his eyes darted toward the entrance as if he wanted to escape, but both parties were able to ascertain that this Yang fellow knew he was lashing out due to own inadequacy and embarrassment.

"My master had not met with another living soul in more decades than you've been alive," he stated blithely, seemingly unbothered nor astonished when the man collapsed suddenly on his knees, hands clutching his belly.

"You- You, what did you do to me?"

Yu Long tilted his head in mock confusion. "Hmm? What do you mean? Haven't I treated you well as a guest? I fed you, entertained you, and even offered you valuable advice."

The man cringed, doubling over with a groan.

"I'd find a restroom if I were you," Zi Hong muttered on the sidelines, unwilling to spend the rest of his afternoon cleaning up a mess.

Yang Kan picked himself up and rushed out, yelling behind him words that were definitely not that of a gracious guest. "You'll regret this! I will spread your atrocities to the people of jianghu. See if you can still live up to your name after that!"

Much to Yu Long's mirth and Zi Hong's despair, the name on the ambassador's lips would not belong to either of them. Hopefully, Master Jin would not interrogate Zi Hong this time to reveal Yu Long's mischief. If he did, they would be cleaning urinals for the next hundred years.

"Is it okay to leave him be, Master?"

"Are you actually worried about a miscreant, Ah-Hong?"

Zi Hong remained unfazed by the shift in the man's wording. However, at times like these, he was reminded of how much his master resembled his grandmaster in speech and tone. Despite the numerous smiles his master showed the ambassador, Zi Hong could sense the air of anger that vibrated off his skin, crawling and festering into the air like a thick cloud of poisonous smoke. While all four disciples were deeply loyal and faithful to the Dragon Lord, it was Yu Long who cultivated the closest relationship with the grandmaster, and it showed through his own methods. He was very protective of The Manor after all.

"I would prefer if he did not make a mess on the grounds."

"Did you see him though? The gluttony of that man caused him to drink three bowls full of wine. Had he not, he would not be running around like a chicken with its head cut off."

Zi Hong bit his lip. "That's because he ate those tea cakes of yours, Master."

Yu Long turned fully to his disciple, an eyebrow arched. "His crime was his trash taste buds. If he had eaten the rest thereafter, he wouldn't have had any adverse side effects from the wine."

Like his master's bizarre personality, his words and actions were even more unpredictable. For instance, the wine was a concoction that his master created one evening nearly two centuries ago. It wasn't anything particularly terrible, but the result of ingestion was three days and three nights of the runs.

For every poison that his master created, an antidote was formulated to parry the effects. In this case, the cure was a medley of herbs, which could only be found on the mountain behind their manor. These herbs, ironically, were crushed and mixed into the little teacakes sitting innocently on the plate. However, in order to alleviate the poison's effects, the ambassador needed to enjoy the whole plate, which he did not.

'I wouldn't either,' the young disciple thought grimly.

The reality was glaring. His master punished those who forced their way into their home and dirtied it like it was their own stomping ground and simultaneously admonished them for not enjoying his one-of-a-kind delicacy. Only the man could think of such a horrid method to administer the poison and cure. It was as if he was demanding, 'Eat my atrocious teacakes or suffer the wrath of diarrhea for three days and three nights!'

Zi Hong shuddered. If his master created that poison and antidote in one night out of pure boredom, he could only imagine what he could do in a week or a month. He'd been privy to some first-hand observations over the last few decades, but he doubted those were his master's greatest creations. What was even more terrifying was his master's age. The man looked no more than a shaonian at the age of twenty, yet he had been walking the plains of jianghu for at least a century and a half.

His Master Yu Long didn't acquire jinghua's title of Ace of Toxins baselessly.