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The past is loaded in a bullet,
I locked up and tucked it away,
if the wrong person gets the gun and pulls the trigger,
Boom a wall I spent years building
Crumbles in a split second.
The chapter contains content that maybe be triggering
Careful if anything related to, blood, pain or rape affects you.
Or violence in general
*****
Playlist of the chapter: Feel something artist Bea miller
Remember to drop a vote, don't be a silent reader
XOXO
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"Okay fuck it, your voice is like very familiar", and it driving me crazy" He chuckled taking off his glasses and a gasp escaped my lips.
"Oh my wow".
Okay a little flash back to the hazel eyed stranger I met a while ago well my eyes must be shitting me because he is right in front of me.
"Wait hold up are you a stalker or a like a serial killer?" I raised my purse at him, taking a sip of my drink, i shrugged as I drank the whole content bottoms up I should slow down on the vodka I can feel my self getting a little light headed.
Yeah in case you are shocked, there is vodka at the party, the boys hooked us up with a family that brought drinks.
"I'm not a serial killer" I eyed him suspicious, "that's what a serial killer will say" He chuckled, "I heard yo talking to your friend when you took pictures my friend was the one who took your pictures for you
"I still eyes him, I couldn't see his expression but he was definitely smiling I can tell and I said she can't be the serial killer girl and low and behold she was you just a little more human, You look really pretty by the way"
I nodded slowly, Thank you I guess", I want another glass of vodka good thing the girls left the bottle all foe me, reaching out to grab the bottle, it was pulled back from me, "Hey" I huffed looking up at him.
"You should slow down on the drinking" I sent him a glare, he missed it though, he was too bust taking the drink far from my reach, so he was staring somewhere else, placing my cup on the table,
'You are getting tipsy, you are starting slur and you are smiling a lot and it's midday, is that how much you hate parties?"
I ignored him sending him an eyeroll, he was right though, I as starting to feel really light headed, I need to go home, drunk me is the version I want a stranger to meet.
"What are you doing here anyways?" He shrugged not giving a reply,
"I'm not slurring why are you even here you are ruining all the fun you know" I sat down he took a sit next to me, "My friends are sitting there, so you need to beat it'
Yup I'm getting drunk
"You should get some sleep, here he poured me a glass cup of water out of the bottled water on the table" I took it from him "Thanks" Drinking the whole content, i searched the party for any trace of the girls.
I looked back a him, he was staring at me, his eyes locked with mine for a split 5 seconds before i broke eye contact with him, "Stop staring its creepy" I whispered, lowered his face really close to my face ours eyes locked once more and I felt that dumb warm feelin hitch I hate all over again, my nose was filled with his cologne, it was heavenly
I'm not a simp
Jerking back from the intense stare, he chuckled, Picking up a phone call and co-incidentally, Aj called me, smiling at the receiver,
"Hey babe what's up where are you girls?"
I heard Damilare's voice in the background along side Teslima's
"We are about to leave, we will cover over to you are you still at the table?" Niniola said in the background.
I sighed, "Yup I'm still there.
We also ended our calls together, looking up at him i found him staring, i looked away in record time causing to feel a little dizzy, He once again chuckled.
"I was just going to say hi, I'll see you around?" And with that he got up, "I.."
"Ari" I snapped my head toward the direction of the girls, looking back to say goodbye, he wasn't there, "Weird "I whispered to my self,
He was just here like a second ago.
"You looking for someone?" I nodded my head no, "Nope no one" I said laying emphasis on the 'P'
"okeyyyy" Teslima slurred, she had a really messed up lip-gloss, I raised an eyebrow, she sent a kiss towards my direction, and Ajoke's makeup was okay so was Niniola's.
Grabbing Teslima as she staggered towards me, I fell back a bit as I struggled to regain composure I sighed, judging the fact that I was halfway close to drunk,
"How much did you guys let her drink?" Ajoke packed up our purses that was out cue to leave, Almost as much as you drank, she raised the bottle of vodka to with a wide eye, I sent her a small smile as Nini too Teslima from my grasp.
"OH yeah yay, yay, yay, our first real party, Here" Tessy passed me a hangout flyer, It looked really wild, it was an all night party obviously, 'Today at 11AM till Mama calls' in really, the irony.
"Fresher's Nigh?" I read it out loud unsure, The girls all looked defeated, "Shit " I Curse knowing I'm not getting out of this one either.
Ajoke drove us home, and I was awake all through the silent journey home but my eyes remained close, "where did he go, he was there one second and the next he wasn't" I whispered to myself, Tessy was knocked out from all the drinking but she would be back up in a while.
"All the picture are over over Instagram now "Teslima came out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around her waist and her bit of water running down her sides, "I made mine into TikTok's for my 100 followers"
Ajoke grumbled, we all burst into laughter, "I have over 2590 followers" Niniola was bouncing on her tippy toes," Show off but I have 5002, followers" Teslima poked out her tongue at them both. "Show off"
Ajoke launched forward to a garb her but she ducked and they both landed on the I smiled looking at them as they exchanged pictures, "Let's see your Instagram handle and"; Niniola pulled me up, "You guys won't freak" I raised my eyebrow, "Yeah sure" Teslima.
"What the actual fuck!" Niniola made a dramatic passing out expression, as she fell back missing Teslima's bed by an inch an collapsing on the actual fall. She let out a yelp, rolling into a circle.
We all burst into fits of laughter, I fell back on the, "You guys are evil" she whined rubbing her bruised elbow, "But babe how the hell do you have over 50,000 followers" Teslima said between her giggles.
"I got lucky, I have see, 89,780 followers on TikTok, I just make contents on TikTok and I act, lip-sync and I used make cosplay but I stopped, now I make transitions hence the makeup and some weird costume, and like I said I got really lucky" They all gaped at me, I smiled keeping my composure.
Okay story time, Yes I stared making TikTok's as a therapy experimentation and i loved it I got lucky with the followers, my therapist at the time wanted me to try healing by connecting with virtual friends and of course I didn't make any.
But pretty much after the second time I OD on my anxiety pills, I was never left alone in the house, I learnt a ton of skills some I may never need, videography, photography, makeup, and so much more let's not get bored by details.
My mum stayed off work for a year while I recovered, And I'm perfectly fine now, okay now back to reality.
"Shit, I wasn't going crazy, I have seen you on my fyp once" Ajoke eyes were wide open, she looked relive, I did a curt nod, "Well its nothing I have been on the AP for a few years now so" I tried to make it not much of a deal.
"You guys want us to make videos together it will be a lot of fun, and i have no problem tagging you girl" That seemed to calm them down.
I sat on the bed filling up my dairy with the bits of memories I had left from my matriculation, locking my dairy I placed it into my locker and pulled out my lap to to edit the vides it was 5:46 PM and the girls went out to get dinner but I stayed behind
"Hey momma, did you get the pictures I sent you" I recorded a voice note to my stepmom on WhatsApp, placing back my phone on my nightstand I decided to pick out an outfit for the part I'm attending against my will
"Okay Teslima spill, what the hell happened to your makeup at the party I turned back to see Aj walking in with bags in her hands she placed one on my nightstand., "We got you Jollof rice, and instead of meat we got you chicken, hope you don't mind" Nini seemed breathless as she collapsed on my bed
"Nah it cool" Teslima sent Aj a glare, "I'm not taking a glare for an answer honey" She cooed, I chuckled watching them both communicate with glares.
"Fine you win, Knock it out" Tessy caved pully her dinner out of the bag, I didn't dee the contents well, "I was drunk and he was cute, I know it was reckless but he invited us to the party which we are attending"
That last part was directed to me pretty obvious I know, "Oh wow, you are definitely the wildest off or group, we should make a video on that" Niniola said while chewing on her food, it came out a bit muffled but she does it a lot and we could understand what she said.
"Well you are welcome love" I sighed going back to picking out an out fit, after searching I finally came up with one, nope I finally gave up and went with my first outfit. "Okay girls, rate me on a scale of one to 10"
They all looked at me in sync like it was more a command and they were my adorable cute puppies, "You are picking my out fit form me because you obviously are like into fashion and all 10" Niniola was always nice with compliments.
"Boys are going to try sleep with you tonight, or at least as for it i know that's for sure because Damn girl you are going to be so hot in that outfit" and tessy my love with the sexual comments, "10our of 10, and you are dressing me up for the part to" Aj with her normal compliments, I'm starting to love these girls
2
It was 11:36 and I was ready to make a really bad decision and head out to the party, "Who's gonna be the designated driver, it's not far off campus, all we have to do is get past security guards they are totally slack don't worry"
Yeah they are slack, I nearly go attacked a few days ago so I can tell, I Thought to myself, "I'm not doing it I plan to get drunk this might be my las party in a while, classes start in two days" Nini made our heads snap to her direction, that wasn't expected.
"I'll be the designated driver, I don't plan on drinking" Ajoke volunteered, I should cut back on my alcohol, I have an enough lately. "Okay then if you are okay with it, Safe word is Applesauce, Does everyone have their phones?"
We all did a quick phone check, Nodding I looked back up, "Let's watch the alcohol I don't need three Teslima's tonight" She sent Tessy a glare, I played with my big sister necklace why do I have a really bad feeling about tonight?
You could here the song blaster from the speakers, it was a crowded party as I imagined, "I want to go home"I grumbled as teslima pulled me into the party. The girls followed laughing
"Talk about being bland and boring, there were no games, just sex deprived boys and girls either sucking on each others faces grinding against each other on the dance floor, some freshers were obvious really wild, or maybe seniors were at the party too.
"I'll go find him, his name is Ibrahim" Teslima disappeared into the crow, I found a spot to sit and I took out my phone Niniola left with Aj to get alcohol, I put on in my headphones placing them over my ears, I decided to watch TikTok videos.
"Hey what's a hot girl like you doing sitting at a party, have some fun nah" I looked up at the dude yelling over my head, Sighing I took off my pods, Getting up from the chair, I gave him a little distance
"He was shirtless, he was drunk, disgusting and ugly, if Sid and Fiona ever had a baby, they could do better than the dork standing in front of me. "Do you need something?" I asked with a little more attitude that intended. "Come on baby don't be like that" He stretched out to grab me.
Moving a step back, I had a gagging reaction, it was real, "Did you bath in alcohol or you drank it, I'm not interested pick another girl to piss off" I turned back to leave and he yanked me back, my body collided with the sweaty mess that he was at the moment.
'Hell no what the fuck?" pushing him off me, he fell back the drink spilling all over his face giving me enough escape time, "Walking further into the building for a little quiet.
I shouldn't have, "Shit", Looking around, I really hate myself for my night blindness right now. I heard a footsteps, taking another turn. Can this night get any worse?.
I head a voice I prayed I was never going to heard, tell my story cause this is how I die, I texted the girls Applesauce, should in case something happens, he is probably to drunk to know i was the girl that escaped from him a few days ago.
Turning back to trace my steps, I tripped, They flashed their lights at me, It was too fast so they probably didn't make out my face in all the darkness, but then just that moment you think you escaped death.
"Wait, i know that girl" That was my cue, i bolted to feet's now running towards what i hoe is the exit, i grabbed my lip-gloss, it had a pocket knife extension.
"They caught up with me really fast, and pushed me into the wall, screaming in pain, my hair protected my hair from the impact but my back not so much, the pain made me growl.
"You disrespectful brat, its you, all three of them had there flash lights in my face, "The fuck do you guys want, I'm not looking for any ones trouble i got lost that's it"
I was doing a good job hiding the fact that I'm freaking out, "You little brat, you have no respect I'll make sure we teach you some manners tonight" Okay that wasn't a familiar voice, I tried standing up, one of them rushed towards with aim and precision I was able to cut him on his chin as I slide under his arm, making him slam his fist into the wall.
"This girl na wereh, she cut me ni sha (This girl is mad, I can't believe she cut me)" He said in pidgin holding his bloody chin. I didn't do taekwondo for absolutely nothing you know, pushing myself to stand up right and ignore the pain in my right shoulder.
It wasn't a fair fight but I wasn't going to give up this easy, The guy came at me once more but this time he had help, I could take one two maybe but three I panicked, all it took was one triggering memory and my anxiety let loose, The man in the middle caught me by my neck.
I dropped my weapon, as memories of dad came flooding, his face was replaced with face of the monster that haunted me for years,
Out of all the times to have a bloody pain attack it had to be right now,.
"Let me go", I gasped for air as I heard their laughter boom across the empty where ever the hell room we are in, sound got disoriented and distorted as I lost all sense of control, as the wall i had placed between my depression and my happiness crashed.
His hand were everywhere and I couldn't do anything, Fighting off was too late the tears clouded my eyes, "Please leave me alone, I cried as I head bucking belts and more snide comment, i could hear my phone ringing in the background I was lifted into the air.
"Come on, we just want fun that's all" His alcohol laces voice made me gag, he hit me in the stomach, making me cry out in. "That's for my friend, He did it again but i was ready for impact, still it was too much to take, I had to cry "That's for my ego"
"Let me go you piss of shit" I spat on his face as I fought him off but kicking my legs trying to get him to buckle but it was useless, as one on them held my legs as I tried screaming, I felt like the weak girl I was years ago.
I was helpless, I know what was about to open only this time my step-mum won't walk in to stop it. The only thing I could do was control my ragged breathing and pray silently as I fought weakly, they were all laughing and saying words, triggering words, words my dad used.
I heard a grunt as my body dropped to the floor with a thud, I hit by head on the floor really hard the pain made a loud ringing in my head, all the pain I felt right now were all familiar, and I heard a bunch of groans and I swear I heard bones cracking as their footsteps echoed they were fast meaning people were running.
The flashlight was directed towards my eyes, I whimpered as the familiar taste of metal hits my tongue, I felt the blood drip across my face, it was the taste of my own blood, my anxiety was replaced with pure fear, as I stared in the dark trying to make out the face of the mystery person who saved me.